So I'm kind of confused what to do here.

[Ironbear24]

So my goals as far as martial arts is to become the best I can possibly become. What I mean by that is I literally give 100% of my dedication and overall being to training and becoming better.

I have lost touch with many of my friends because all I do is train and lift weights now, my girlfriend seems unhappy too but honestly I don't care. She may not be the right one if it is too hard to accept I have goals in life.

I have seen more improvement of myself in the last 8 months since I have in my lifetime. This is all because I want to be something, I want to be somebody, Its my goal to go to competitions whether they be karate competitions, Judo competitions or mma competitions. I honestly don't care what the competition is so long as it will give me the following.

1. Credibility.

2. Proof, I want to prove to myself that I am good at what I been doing since my teen years.

And finally 3. Proof to other people that I am good at what I am doing.

So my question is what should I do here as far as continuing my training at the Shou Shu dojo. Many of my friends say that it will never make me meet my goals and they think the teacher is not talented enough.

I honestly don't value their opinion because they are with all disrespect as possible, idiots. The common answer was "well mma would kick your *** because they throw you to the floor and go to town."

Yeah, so does Judo, so does mantis and bear in Shou shu, so does many things and kenpo has answers to deal with grappling. I am not the best on the floor but I would by no means feel like a fish out of water and I am not intimidated by it.

They added "people don't want to see karate, they don't want to see martial arts, they want to see wrestling and see UFC."

So I guess their idiotic opinion UFC is not martial arts and wrestling is not a martial art, which of course it is a martial art. Anyway my point is there might be some validity to their moronic statements.

The sifu does not wish to let me spar until purple belt which is like the 3rd belt, white, orange then purple. Even then I been hearing their sparring is full contact allowing anything, literally anything but the bouts are only 30 seconds long.

This of course is a concern for me because real matches are not that short. It is also annoying when it comes time to spar I have to just watch in a horse stance when I want to spar with the others. He did let me spar a few times but after hurting someone by accident he said it was a mistake to let me do that.

That I don't have enough control yet. I don't agree with this because it was an accident and the guy was smaller than me. It is very hard for me to distinguish the amount of force I should be using. I am often told not enough is being used, then when I use more force I get in trouble.

I also never been clear with the sifu about my goals, which might be a problem. I now they do competitions but I am not sure what kind they are as I never been to one.

I am wondering if I should leave and look for an mma place, which the nearest one is very far away. Or if I should stick with this so when I do go to an mma coach, I have more tools he can help me utilize.

So in your opinion what should I be doing here? Oh and also my weight lifting is still plateud and I can't seem to break a 285 bench press, but the sifu said weight lifting is point less for martial arts which I don't agree with, but that seems to be a common thing among sifus and senseis to say.

 

[Azulx]

@Ironbear24 I may be able to give you some advice, from my short time on this planet lol. I feel like I have dealt on a smaller level with some of things you are conflicted with. It's great that you give it your all during training, this is important when trying to become the best. Friendships come and go I have grown apart from close friends due to different interest, but I somehow find I way to get back close to them. As far as relationships go, these are incredibly difficult if you are involved in a hobby or activity that takes up a lot of your time. Thankfully, my girlfriend ins incredibly supportive of my love for TKD and martial arts in general. She is also a 1st dan in TKD so that helps too lol. If you gf does not support you, or you can't find a balance between MA and her, then taht will be the problem. Balance is literally the key to everything, and I would suggest to find a way to do that.

As far as leaving your dojo: If you are going to leave because your friends (who you openly claim to be idiots) tell you it's beneath MMA, then I suggest you stay. MMA is not a weakness free Martial art, it isn't even a martial art. It is a mix of multiple martial arts. I struggle with the following issue: I don't feel like I am challenged enough on a technical level at my school. I very rarely struggle doing anything. I just experienced struggling for the first time in my school trying to do board breaking. Have I considered leaving, yes, but do I, no. This is because I feel like I can help teach the beginner students, and offer different perspectives to help the students learn better. I enjoy being challenged it helps me grow, my instructor seems to have an issue with competitions I don't understand why. So, I have only ever competed once.

Sparring: control is absolutely key in sparring, unless your purpose is to injure or knock out your sparring partner. We can't do either of those, and I am completely happy with that. Sometimes I spar females or opponents with less experience I don't try to anything reckless against them where I may accidentally hurt them. Yes, accidents happen during sparring, lower ranks accidentally hurt me because they lack control and literally try to kick through me, They are learning control , and they spar less because of this.

Just keep grinding and be the best you can be. Only leave your school if you feel you have no purpose there.

 

[Kenpoguy123]

Sorry but I don't agree we all love martial arts but in the end you've got to have more than that. You won't be able to lift weights forever or train 7 days a week forever and when it comes to the time you must stop there'll be no one around you. I'm sorry but those comments about your girlfriend aren't nice at all. If your ignoring her and spending all your time training what do you expect quite honestly. I understand you have goals but that doesn't mean it has to be this way do you think pro fighters are 100 % fighting no they have wives, kids hell the heavyweight champion is stil, working as a firefighter and it seems your instructor is right to not let you spar if the first time you do you injure someone. You say it's not your fault because their smaller than you well that's the whole point of marital arts self control. I'm sure your instructor could put you in hospital easily when showing a technique but he's got the control to not do it which it does see you don't have. Honesty I think you should take a small break

 

[Hanzou]

Leave and join the MMA school, or look for a Muay Thai or Gjj gym. That shoo shoo school or whatever you call it sounds like a waste of time.

If you want to fight, go to a school that actually lets you fight from the beginning.

 

[Ironbear24]

Leave and join the MMA school, or look for a Muay Thai or Gjj gym. That shoo shoo school or whatever you call it sounds like a waste of time.

If you want to fight, go to a school that actually lets you fight from the beginning.

Well the problem with that is distance. We do fight, pretty hard actually, I got the bruises to show for it. And for the record it is Shou shu.

 

[Ironbear24]

Taking a break won't help me get any better though. And if she wants to leave she is welcome to leave.

 

[Hanzou]

Well the problem with that is distance. We do fight, pretty hard actually, I got the bruises to show for it.

Where do you live? We can help you find a place.

Also didn't you say in the OP that you weren't allowed to spar, and that the sparring is only for 30 seconds?

 

[Ironbear24]

Where do you live? We can help you find a place.

Also didn't you say in the OP that you weren't allowed to spar, and that the sparring is only for 30 seconds?

The rounds are 30 seconds. Then you go again for another 30. After 2 rounds you switch sparring partners. The nearest mma gym to me is half an hour away and I have no car. Right now I walk everywhere and take busses.

 

[Hanzou]

The rounds are 30 seconds. Then you go again for another 30. After 2 rounds you switch sparring partners. The nearest mma gym to me is half an hour away and I have no car. Right now I walk everywhere and take busses.

The MMA gym isn't on the bus line?

Also 1 minute of sparring per partner is pretty laughable. So is banning people from sparring until they reach the upper belts.

Go some place where your size and strength are appreciated, not feared.

 

[Kenpoguy123]

Taking a break won't help me get any better though. And if she wants to leave she is welcome to leave.

Well I think she should because you obviously don't care about her. I'm wondering are you only with her because of your proving yourself thing like proving to everyone you've got a girlfriend because well sorry but you really don't seem to care at all

 

[Kenpoguy123]

Leave and join the MMA school, or look for a Muay Thai or Gjj gym. That shoo shoo school or whatever you call it sounds like a waste of time.

If you want to fight, go to a school that actually lets you fight from the beginning.

I don't think is really the time to be trying to promote what you thinks better and start disrespecting someone's else's style

 

[Ironbear24]

The MMA gym isn't on the bus line?

Also 1 minute of sparring per partner is pretty laughable. So is banning people from sparring until they reach the upper belts.

Go somewhere where your size and strength are appreciated, not feared.

It is pretty out of the way even for the bus. I agree with you but at least the belt needed for it isn't far off. He let me spar before because of my kenpo experience, I made it to blue in my teen years and there we sparred a lot.

So he figured ok well you got experience so go ahead. He put me up with a 16 year old and a roundhouse kick buckled him over, it caused a problem with the kids dad and we got into an argument.

Sifu said to the dad its sparring it will happen. Since then he said I lack control and cant spar until everyone else normally can which is purple belt. I know you don't consider the art or him good, but keep in mind that this guy does bjj and the style has grappling in it along with striking.

My issue is not the art it is the practices, i also don't know if he will teach us the bjj he learned from the place a couple of towns over. He still even goes there to practice from what I hear to expand his knowledge of martial arts.

The reason I bring this up is because it is what helped me give this place a shot in the first place. Most people refuse to learn more than one art because they think their style is perfect. He can admit that everything has flaws which I find admirable.

Another big advantage is the place is in walking distance for me.

 

[Azulx]

Stay at your school unless you feel you have no purpose there.

 

[Hanzou]

It is pretty out of the way even for the bus. I agree with you but at least the belt needed for it isn't far off. He let me spar before because of my kenpo experience, I made it to blue in my teen years and there we sparred a lot.

So he figured ok well you got experience so go ahead. He put me up with a 16 year old and a roundhouse kick buckled him over, it caused a problem with the kids dad and we got into an argument.

Sifu said to the dad its sparring it will happen. Since then he said I lack control and cant spar until everyone else normally can which is purple belt. I know you don't consider the art or him good, but keep in mind that this guy does bjj and the style has grappling in it along with striking.

My issue is not the art it is the practices, i also don't know if he will teach us the bjj he learned from the place a couple of towns over. He still even goes there to practice from what I hear to expand his knowledge of martial arts.

The reason I bring this up is because it is what helped me give this place a shot in the first place. Most people refuse to learn more than one art because they think their style is perfect. He can admit that everything has flaws which I find admirable.

Another big advantage is the place is in walking distance for me.

I don't think is really the time to be trying to promote what you thinks better and start disrespecting someone's else's style

Oh relax. I'm simply pointing out that based on the posts, MMA or a similar type of MA would fit Iron's goals a bit better.

Personally the distance would be worth it since I've heard some "interesting" things about Shou Shoo, but to each their own.

 

[Ironbear24]

Oh relax. I'm simply pointing out that based on the posts, MMA or a similar type of MA would fit Iron's goals a bit better.

Personally the distance would be worth it, but to each their own.

Would going as far as I can in this, then later when I have more money go to an mma coach be a good idea? I mean this style has striking and trapping, and grappling. So wouldn't going to an mma coach with more tools to work with help? The place is pretty expensive for me too. They charge around 130 USD a month.

From what I understand the coaches show you how to combine your tools for the sport right?

 

[Ironbear24]

Personally the distance would be worth it since I've heard some "interesting" things about Shou Shoo, but to each their own.

I'm very aware or all the bad mouthing bullshido says about it. Personally bullshido doesn't hold a lot of credibility to me because the website literally bashes everything. You name it, there will be a negative thread about said art.

They even call kenpo karate the "most bs TMA in all existence." Even though it has produced possibly the best UFC fighter Chuck Lidel.

 

[Hanzou]

I'm very aware or all the bad mouthing bullshido says about it. Personally bullshido doesn't hold a lot of credibility to me because the website literally bashes everything. You name it, there will be a negative thread about said art.

They even call kenpo karate the "most bs TMA in all existence." Even though it has produced possibly the best UFC fighter Chuck Lidel.

Well to be fair, it isn't just Bullshido, there's some CMA sources that say similar things. However, that shouldn't effect YOUR personal view of the place.

As for your earlier post, yes those tools would definitely help. I think you would also prefer the more free and competitive nature of a MMA gym.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

While I'm a huge fan of TMA and kenpo offshoots, for your goal you may need to switch schools. You won't get to a level where you can compete and do well unless you are sparring regularly, and with 3 minute (min) rounds.

The other option would be to organize something akin to a 'fight club' but much more controlled, where 5 or 6 people from different backgrounds come together to train and spar once a week together. It's something that I do with some of my friends, but I've also purposefully kept in contact with friends who practice different arts which likely makes it easier & safer. If you don't have that Craigslist maybe? Not the best option, but if you want to compete and can't go to a gym that competes it's better than nothing.

As far your issues with your friends and gf, no comment since anything I say would be biased without hearing what they have to say about it.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Would going as far as I can in this, then later when I have more money go to an mma coach be a good idea? I mean this style has striking and trapping, and grappling. So wouldn't going to an mma coach with more tools to work with help? The place is pretty expensive for me too. They charge around 130 USD a month.

From what I understand the coaches show you how to combine your tools for the sport right?

Also, if your current instructor is inclined to and knows arts that focus on each, he could teach classes that combine him. From what you've said so far though, I gather that that isn't really his interest.

 

[Ironbear24]

I can start a fight club? That is freaking awesome!