So I'm kind of confused what to do here.

[Ironbear24]

. I think you would also prefer the more free and competitive nature of a MMA gym.

I will go there eventually. It's just right now it is out of my financial reach. I looked it up when you mentioned it may be better for me. It is sadly not within my finances at the moment. To be honest with you I have a love hate relationship with mma, I don't like it's fanbase, I don't like the attitudes but I love beating people up and getting beat up and of course love martial arts.

Mma = more than one martial arts, mma is like a fat woman, there is more to love.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

I can start a fight club? That is freaking awesome!

Is anyone stopping you? Just make sure to not break any bones and you're good. Maybe avoid face shots too, for safety/questions (especially if a girl is involved)

 

[Kenpoguy123]

I will go there eventually. It's just right now it is out of my financial reach. I looked it up when you mentioned it may be better for me. It is sadly not within my finances at the moment. To be honest with you I have a love hate relationship with mma, I don't like it's fanbase, I don't like the attitudes but I love beating people up and getting beat up and of course love martial arts.

Mma = more than one martial arts, mma is like a fat woman, there is more to love.

You do know though that in a mma gym you still can't go in there and smash people up it's still a business as well you know you need to show control still. You'll be asked to leave if you can't show control and try and hurt people sparrings not about hurting anyone it's about learning

 

[drop bear]

You need to find the best gym you can and train there. Dosen,t have to be mma. But it does have to be a serious fighters gym.

Otherwise do a low level fight see how you go.

By the way you can Spar with contact and still be terrible.

Look. This is integrated mma in Australia. And one of other best gyms we have here. This is what your training should look like if you want to be any good.

It is also the guys my coach trains with.

 

[Ironbear24]

You do know though that in a mma gym you still can't go in there and smash people up it's still a business as well you know you need to show control still. You'll be asked to leave if you can't show control and try and hurt people sparrings not about hurting anyone it's about learning

Yes mother I know. It's a figure of speech. I like to spar heavy is what I mean.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

So my goals as far as martial arts is to become the best I can possibly become. What I mean by that is I literally give 100% of my dedication and overall being to training and becoming better.

Relax.

 

[Phobius]

Yes mother I know. It's a figure of speech. I like to spar heavy is what I mean.

One thing worries me with your posts.

You write very much about the future, as if you want to be something you are not. You need to live in the present, if you can not learn to be happy with your current self I fear you will never be happy with your future self either. The goal will never be reached because you can always be better, or age catches you.

Some concerns of mine:

1. If you are not happy with your training already, your skill, your abilities or even your body. You may miss life altogether chasing a goal you never reach.
2. You sound very unhappy in general, losing friends willingly, not caring enough about why your girlfriend may have her opinion... it sounds as if you wish to alienate yourself and sit in a martial arts bubble. Problem is it does not fit your persona of wanting to prove your worth and let the world know how good you are. Without friends who will care that you are good? Hoping people will admire you demands that you first get your friends and family to admire you, after all they are the ones to be quickest to praise you.
3. Sounds as if your motivation for training is training in itself, this mentality can easily get you to try and top your performance every single day. Being on top all the time will tear on your body. You might not be able to fight and train for as long as you want because you train incorrectly.
4. If you lack control of your strength, given that your strength is larger than others. You already know what you need to train more than sparring.... control. Go learn control! Do not skip elements of your training just because your end goal you need to be a badass. Becoming a badass requires you to have multiple good sparring partners that gladly go onto the mats with you. Sparring is about improvements, not prestige.

5. Highlight yet again, do not go to sparring thinking you need to win. Instead always try to learn as much as possible and if you start wanting to win too much, slow down and focus on your own effort and flaws. Learn each step what you need to correct. Cant grasp what you are doing bad? Slow down. Does not matter if you get beaten, slowing down will then allow you a better outcome in the future.

 

[Ironbear24]

1. If you are not happy with your training already, your skill, your abilities or even your body. You may miss life altogether chasing a goal you never reach.

I have never not reached a goal. It may take me more time than others to reach it but I reached them.

When someone tells me I can't do something that is my biggest motivation becuase I aim to prove them wrong.

 

[Kenpoguy123]

Yes mother I know. It's a figure of speech. I like to spar heavy is what I mean.

Yes and that could be a problem for people some people don't like to spar hard and if they don't you have to respect that and not spar hard with them. If someone says they don't want to go hard and you do go hard you'll just end up looking like a bully and no one admires a bully there's nothing tough or cool about beating up someone in sparring. I've seen people spar hard and knocking people trying to impress the head instructors and all that happened is the instructors spoke about how little control they had. Maybe doing that would impress some tough guy wannabes on YouTube but any real martial artists wouldn't be impressed by that at all

 

[Ironbear24]

Yes and that could be a problem for people some people don't like to spar hard and if they don't you have to respect that and not spar hard with them. If someone says they don't want to go hard and you do go hard you'll just end up looking like a bully and no one admires a bully there's nothing tough or cool about beating up someone in sparring. I've seen people spar hard and knocking people trying to impress the head instructors and all that happened is the instructors spoke about how little control they had. Maybe doing that would impress some tough guy wannabes on YouTube but any real martial artists wouldn't be impressed by that at all

I don't want to be a bully. A bully is the lowest form of life there is. I have no problem going easier on someone. It the problem in that scenario with that teen was he didnt tell me anything.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

I don't want to be a bully. A bully is the lowest form of life there is. I have no problem going easier on someone. It the problem in that scenario with that teen was he didnt tell me anything.

The best idea, especially with someone either younger or weaker than you, is to let them dictate how hard it is, even if they don't use words. See how hard they are swinging, let them get in a punch or kick, or be defensive and block some of their strikes so that you know what strength they are using, and reciprocate at that level. This prevents hurt feelings from going to hard, or them thinking you are going too soft on them. Not entirely relevant yet, but may be when you hit purple belt and start sparring there again.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

I have lost touch with many of my friends because all I do is train and lift weights now

As you get on in life, you will probably regret not having friends more than you will regret missing a day of training now and then. BTW - I train 4-5 days per week and I still manage to have a number of good friends that I stay in touch with. Having friends and training are not exclusive.

my girlfriend seems unhappy too but honestly I don't care. She may not be the right one if it is too hard to accept I have goals in life.

If you don't care about your girlfriend's happiness, then you are clearly not the right one for her.

This is all because I want to be something, I want to be somebody, Its my goal to go to competitions whether they be karate competitions, Judo competitions or mma competitions. I honestly don't care what the competition is so long as it will give me the following.

1. Credibility.

2. Proof, I want to prove to myself that I am good at what I been doing since my teen years.

And finally 3. Proof to other people that I am good at what I am doing.

It sounds like your primary motivation is to validate your worth and impress others through your martial arts skill. You will ultimately be happier in your own life and more satisfied with your martial arts training if you don't worry about impressing others, accept that you have worth as a human being regardless of your martial arts ability, and train because you love the art.

BTW - 99% of the people in your life won't really care if you win a trophy (or 10) for martial arts competition. At most it will be a bit of trivia for them about the hobbies you life.

So my question is what should I do here as far as continuing my training at the Shou Shu dojo. Many of my friends say that it will never make me meet my goals and they think the teacher is not talented enough.

Are your friends experienced martial artists who have observed your instructor's classes? If not, then their opinions on the subject are worthless.

The sifu does not wish to let me spar until purple belt which is like the 3rd belt, white, orange then purple.

How long is the expected timeline to reach purple belt in Shou Shu?

Even then I been hearing their sparring is full contact allowing anything, literally anything but the bouts are only 30 seconds long.

This of course is a concern for me because real matches are not that short.

What do you mean by "real matches?" Most real fights are probably over in 30 seconds. If you're talking about sport competition, then it depends on the sport. Do you know what the competition rules are for Shou Shu?

He did let me spar a few times but after hurting someone by accident he said it was a mistake to let me do that.

That I don't have enough control yet. I don't agree with this because it was an accident and the guy was smaller than me. It is very hard for me to distinguish the amount of force I should be using. I am often told not enough is being used, then when I use more force I get in trouble.

That is pretty much the textbook definition of "not having control."

Its my goal to go to competitions whether they be karate competitions, Judo competitions or mma competitions.

If you want to compete in karate, then you need to be training karate. If you want to compete in Judo, then you need to be training Judo. If you want to compete in MMA, then you need to be training MMA. Regardless of how good your Shou Shu classes are, they won't getting you ready to compete in these other contexts.

Not having seen your instructor or knowing what your training alternatives are, I have no opinion as to whether you should find another school. Here are some questions you might ask yourself to help figure out the answer:

Do you enjoy the training?
Do the senior students and the instructor display the skills and attributes you would like to develop in yourself?
What other schools are available in the area which fit with your schedule, budget, and transportation logistics?

Good luck!

 

[mograph]

Ironbear24, why do you care so much what other people think about you?

 

[Buka]

If you want to compete in karate, then you need to be training karate. If you want to compete in Judo, then you need to be training Judo. If you want to compete in MMA, then you need to be training MMA.

In your OP, you said competing was your goal. Listen to what Tony said above. He speaks truth.

First step - get a car, regardless of how long it takes. It's what everybody else had to do before they had a car. So, go get one.

Step two - train in what you want to fight in.

Step three - go fight.

Easy peasy Japaneasy.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Wow so much to address.

my girlfriend seems unhappy too but honestly I don't care. She may not be the right one if it is too hard to accept I have goals in life.

You have to find a girlfriend that likes martial arts and or fitness. If you can't find one that fits in that category then you need to find one that can accept your passion and not be jealous about it.

Its my goal to go to competitions whether they be karate competitions, Judo competitions or mma competitions. I honestly don't care what the competition is so long as it will give me the following.

The reasons you stated aren't good reasons for wanting to get into competitive fighting. I'm not sure why credibility is such a big issue. If you know for a fact that what you train works then that's all you need. It doesn't matter what someone else says.

Proof, I want to prove to myself that I am good at what I been doing since my teen years.

Spend less time worried about proving to yourself that you are good at what you are training in. If you can apply the techniques that you train during free sparring then that's enough to prove that you are good at what you have been training.

Many of my friends say that it will never make me meet my goals and they think the teacher is not talented enough.

The fights you win or lose have nothing to do with your teacher's talent. You are the one that's fighting,so it's your talent that matters. Just because the teacher is talented doesn't mean the student will be talented.

I honestly don't value their opinion because they are with all disrespect as possible, idiots.

You value their opinions which is why you repeat their opinions in the context of your quality.

They added "people don't want to see karate, they don't want to see martial arts, they want to see wrestling and see UFC."

A win is a win no matter if you KO someone or choke someone out.

Anyway my point is there might be some validity to their moronic statements.

Like I said you value their opinions. And no, their statements don't have any validity unless you are a sports promoter or marketing professional.

Even then I been hearing their sparring is full contact allowing anything, literally anything but the bouts are only 30 seconds long.

This of course is a concern for me because real matches are not that short. It is also annoying when it comes time to spar I have to just watch in a horse stance when I want to spar with the others. He did let me spar a few times but after hurting someone by accident he said it was a mistake to let me do that.

30 seconds should be more than long enough to get off a couple of techniques. It just means that you have to get straight to business.

Oh and also my weight lifting is still plateud and I can't seem to break a 285 bench press, but the sifu said weight lifting is point less for martial arts which I don't agree with, but that seems to be a common thing among sifus and senseis to say.

Do you want to be a bodybuilder or a fighter? Unfortunately you won't be able to be both. Having huge muscles will eventually affect the range of motion used in fighting. There is a reason why fighters don't look like bodybuilders. If all of that muscle mass was of benefit then all fighters would look like bodybuilders. Muscle build is specific to the sport that one is in. Just because you can bench 285 doesn't mean that will help you in reach your fighting goals. It may how ever cause you to have so much muscle mass, that it causes you to "chicken wing" your punches and it may prevent you from being able to throw a punch with the elbows end because of the mass.

If you want to be a bodybuilder, then understand that it will affect your fighting. If you want to be a fighter, then understand it will affect you as a bodybuilder. My questions is. What is the benefit of being able to lift more than 285 pounds?

 

[JowGaWolf]

You need to find the best gym you can and train there. Dosen,t have to be mma. But it does have to be a serious fighters gym.

Otherwise do a low level fight see how you go.

By the way you can Spar with contact and still be terrible.

Look. This is integrated mma in Australia. And one of other best gyms we have here. This is what your training should look like if you want to be any good.

It is also the guys my coach trains with.

Nice video. You can see the various levels of control there. You can also see them go in hard for one technique and then ease up. Certain techniques can be done harder than others and it's the ability to shift intensity to match the sparring partner and the technique being used.

 

[JR 137]

I'm going to tell you what John Candy told his bobsled driver in Cool Runnings...

"...a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."

Just saying.

 

[JowGaWolf]

When someone tells me I can't do something that is my biggest motivation becuase I aim to prove them wrong.

I would caution you when it comes to this mindset. Your desire to prove someone wrong can be your down fall. Instead of doing what matters to you, you'll end up doing things, and setting goals just to prove something to someone else. Based on your post it seems as if you are already headed in that direction.

 

[JR 137]

Do you want to be a bodybuilder or a fighter? Unfortunately you won't be able to be both. Having huge muscles will eventually affect the range of motion used in fighting. There is a reason why fighters don't look like bodybuilders. If all of that muscle mass was of benefit then all fighters would look like bodybuilders. Muscle build is specific to the sport that one is in. Just because you can bench 285 doesn't mean that will help you in reach your fighting goals. It may how ever cause you to have so much muscle mass, that it causes you to "chicken wing" your punches and it may prevent you from being able to throw a punch with the elbows end because of the mass.

If you want to be a bodybuilder, then understand that it will affect your fighting. If you want to be a fighter, then understand it will affect you as a bodybuilder. My questions is. What is the benefit of being able to lift more than 285 pounds?

One word: Bolo. AKA Chung Lee.

 

[drop bear]

In your OP, you said competing was your goal. Listen to what Tony said above. He speaks truth.

First step - get a car, regardless of how long it takes. It's what everybody else had to do before they had a car. So, go get one.

Step two - train in what you want to fight in.

Step three - go fight.

Easy peasy Japaneasy.

By the way i am happy for people to fight in comps they dont necessarily train in.

Bit of experience.