Snooping

[kid]

How old are you and how old is she?

Myspace is funny in many ways, there is so much drama there. I guess it all depends on you, if you feel this girl is a good thing for you then it should not hurt you to delete the comment, if you feel this girl is not the one for you or this kind of attitude bothers you that much then end it.

It all depends man, if the person that left the comment on your site was some girl you dated but dont even talk to anymore I wouldnt worry about it, if it was your previous girl friend I can see why she may be upset.

I am 24 she is 19. I hardly ever delet my messages. I only do when I get so many that it won't accept new ones, or if they are junk mail.



Also I have a problem when a relationship starts to get more deep I turn tail and leave. I purposely find things that I don't like and tell myself that I can't have that in my life or i'd go nuts. I am really trying not to do that in this one but sometimes I do and I wonder if some of them actually are good reasons.


kid

 

[Jade Tigress]

I am 24 she is 19. I hardly ever delet my messages. I only do when I get so many that it won't accept new ones, or if they are junk mail.



Also I have a problem when a relationship starts to get more deep I turn tail and leave. I purposely find things that I don't like and tell myself that I can't have that in my life or i'd go nuts. I am really trying not to do that in this one but sometimes I do and I wonder if some of them actually are good reasons.


kid

Well, i would say if you are wondering if you're sabotaging another relationship over this, it would be yes. It's definitely something that can be talked about and worked out. You have to determine whether you like her enough TO talk and work things out. I wouldn't say this is break up material..just a bump in the relationship that could make you closer in the long run. You just have to decide if you want that with this person.

 

[Touch Of Death]

There's your trouble right there. Women don't forget their boyfriends passwords.
Sean:whip:

 

[bushidomartialarts]

i recommend fleeing for your life.

only joking a little bit. if your g/f already feels like she a) gets to and b) has to snoop around in your stuff to find out if you can be trusted, that is what the experts refer to as a "really bad sign".

relationships need to be based on trust. if she can't trust you to be honest with you, and you can't trust her to respect your privacy, that's two strikes agin' ya.

i'm no expert in women, but did my share of dating before meeting my lovely and talented wife. a few of those women invaded my privacy like that. none of those relationships worked out -- the lack of trust made it a long, hard haul.

be careful.

 

[kid]

I can't wait to have this talk with her so I can finally now what the heck is going on. I might be picky but I think that I should be, I am looking for the woman that is going to be there the rest of my life possibly. I think that I wanna give her another chance, but also I have to watch for the things that we talk about and if they keep coming back then I will end it. wish me luck everyone. Thanks for all of your input.


Mark

 

[Sarah]

There are always two people that contribute to problems, you need to talk to her with out attacking her. If you have a history of sabotaging relationships it is possible you have been unknowingly driving her away and put her in a position where she feels she needs answers?

I think it is important that you take responsibility for your part in the relationship and not put sole blame on her.

Like Jade said, this is an opportunity to open up with her and progress your relationship, just because someone makes a mistake doesn’t mean you have to up and quit on them.

Forgiveness is a big part of relationships, you have both been hurt, weather she was right or wrong denying her feelings is a big mistake, it is important that you reassure her that there’s no one else, she confronted you with this for a reason.

I dont understand why most are telling you to break up because she cant be trusted.....if we all quit on our partners the first time they let us down or disappointed us, we would all be single and bitter.

Talk to her with an open heart before you make any decisions, and good luck.

 

[kid]

You are right. It takes more than one to have a relationship. I like her, thats obvious. If she wants answers than she has to present a question to me or at least try to communicate what she wants to know. I am not trying to just blame her, even though I feel I have done nothing wrong, she seems upset and I don't understand why. She still hasn't called me, should I call her? The first 5-6 months of this realationship were so easy and fun, why can't it stay like that?


Mark

 

[BrandiJo]

i can understand that, George and i had the best first 5 months after that things moved past the fun dating to oh hey this actuly could be serious stuff and then we actuly had to make an effort to havea good solid relationship. You are right tho if she wants information she should come to you and ask (im 19 George is 22 so i can relate to the age thing people are talking about) Its a matter of respect, even if i thought george was cheating i would still confront him about it rather then snooping.

 

[Sarah]

The very beginning of the relationship is always the easiest, its the honeymoon phase, where you see each other through rose tinted glasses, they can do no wrong in your eyes etc etc

Then real life kicks in and you start noticing they have little idiosyncrasies / habits that you don’t like, this is a time of adjustment, this is when you learn that your perfect partner is human, and they have faults.

It really is worth sticking it out because after that is when you get the good stuff


Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault. [SIZE=-1]Dr. David M. Burns[/SIZE]

 

[kid]

Well for anyone who cares to know what happened, the verdict is in. I want to start by saying thank you to everyone your advice was taken and put into my senario. :asian: So I called her yesterday and started off with some small talk and got into thinking (which is not always a good thing) about small things that I really didn't notice before. So I pooled all of these thoughts and made a decision, now it was time to actually talk. We talked about what bothered us about what happened and came to the conclusion that it was really nothing. I told her some things that were bothering me, and asked herwhat she thought about that. She responded, " Thats me Mark" Now someof these things I can handle but some are just too much. So I told her "I can't be with a person like that." thats when our conversation really got boring and empty and that also makes me think that there was never a big connection. Infact I think that it was mostly a physical relationship. We decided to stay friends, and I am pretty good at that all of my ex's are still my friends or at least friendly to my face as far as I know. So that means I have another 3 to 4 weeks to call on her for a booty call. :uhyeah: In the mean while ladies beware a wolf is on the prowl.%-}



Mark

 

[Jade Tigress]

Well congrats on talking it out Mark. That is really what is needed in any relational situation, but for some reason is very hard to do. I'm glad talking it out helped you see the big picture and where you wanted to go with the relationship. Good luck with your future relationships, I hope this situation provided a good learning experience for you in all aspects. Now, go get 'em tiger! lol

 

[BrandiJo]

Im sorry it ended, but im glad you where able to sit down and talk about it maturly and come to a nice end rather then a shouting I hate you match Im sure all this will be for the best and good luck in your next relationship