Sifu is pissed off.

[Gerry Seymour]

I do know what my problems are. I constantly feel like what I do is never good enough, that's low self-esteem. I constantly seek positive reinforcement from others to help my self esteem problem. (Hence the sparring and fights)

My ego is large and at the same time fragile, I constantly do things to make people think I am strong and tough. Things such as lift weights, during the busiest gym hours so the more people can see how strong I am. I work out on the heavy bag when there are many people in there for the same reasons.

As a result of the ego problem which stems from low self esteem I give people too much power over me. They can basically influence how I feel by calling me weak ect. In short I care way too much about what other people think regarding my abilities when I shouldn't care at all.

Pretty much everything I do is for other people's opinions and first impressions. Wearing tight shirts, wearing sleeveless shirts, flexing too much. The things I do should not be for other people but for myself.

Fight with my uncle and beat him in a Judo match in front of my family, key term, in front of family. If they weren't there at all I probably wouldn't even had done it in the first place. Get in a fight with some douche a party, again, probably would have done nothing if it didn't threaten my ego which must be enormously awesome.

I get it, if you don't believe I get it simply because I am not angry, then I don't know what to tell you.

In my non-martial-arts life, I am a Professional Development Coach. I help managers develop their ability to deal with problems, work better with people, etc. If you want, I will happily donate an hour of my time on the phone to give you some thoughts and advice that may help you take action on some of these areas. As with anyone else, the results will depend on your actions and how much responsibility you accept.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I believe my Sanda shifu stopped teaching me because of my talking about it in the forum. The dangers of having a web savvy Chinese shifu

I've always posted under my own name, primarily so that nobody could claim I was saying things behind anyone's back or doing something sneaky. I think that's the biggest thing I had going for me. I still don't agree with his assertion at the time, but I did (and do) agree that it was entirely acceptable for him to assert his position on that. I simply stopped making comparisons between specific people at that point (person A often moves/teaches/explains this way, while person B tends to move/teach/explain that way) and stuck to making comparisons between arts.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I've always posted under my own name, primarily so that nobody could claim I was saying things behind anyone's back or doing something sneaky. I think that's the biggest thing I had going for me. I still don't agree with his assertion at the time, but I did (and do) agree that it was entirely acceptable for him to assert his position on that. I simply stopped making comparisons between specific people at that point (person A often moves/teaches/explains this way, while person B tends to move/teach/explain that way) and stuck to making comparisons between arts.

I never post under my own name, sorry it is the Cybersecurity guy in me. But the non-sport/non-civilian version of sanda is very rare in the US and it would be real easy for him to figure out who I was based on posts. And since he had asked me to not talk about it, and in my excitement I did, he had every right to stop teaching me.

We're still friends though

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Iron bear, does your style offer competition?

Maybe competing in a MA tournament will help you?

If he consistently is beaten, it will further hurt his self-image (which he admits is weak).
If he consistently wins, it simply feeds his need for external validation (which he admits is an issue).

I'd actually suggest switching to an internal art for a while to remove both of these.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

It is unfortunate that many of us seem to have experienced negative effects from some MT member picking up a phone or emailing our instructors, because they were upset with something we said or did online. As I have said in my 'disclaimer' for some time, if you have a problem with me, step to me. Don't be a coward, quivering in the dark and using a poison pen to try to 'get back' at me. I repeat, do not be a coward.

 

[Marnetmar]

OP why are you so dead-set on proving yourself to people? Why not just train for training's sake and have some empathy for others along the way?

You can still train hard without being a dick about it, you know. It's not like being a good martial artist and being a good human being are mutually exclusive.

 

[Ironbear24]

Are you seriously 27 years old?

Because I thought I just read the book report of 14 year old bragging in it that he beat up some guy and whining that his sifu was teaching him a lesson for it.....

Pfft. I wish I were 14 knowing what I know now.

 

[Kenpoguy123]

Pfft. I wish I were 14 knowing what I know now.

In what way?

 

[Ironbear24]

In what way?

I would have tried harder in school. Would have not drank and ditched class so much.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

How and why is this thread still going on? It was a trainwreck from like page 2 and has not changed since.

 

[Ironbear24]

How and why is this thread still going on? It was a trainwreck from like page 2 and has not changed since.

Because people keep posting in it.

 

[sgraves]

No, you don't. You're not them. You're not in a race. There is no "end point". And frankly, dude, with your issues, you could have started at the age of 3 and you'd never catch them.

don't you think you're being a little harsh man?Every martial artist goes through a tiger phase what he did was dumb but ease up a little bit.

 

[sgraves]

I don't know what 'swole' is. There's also no 'us' and I'm not your 'bro'.

its means buff.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

don't you think you're being a little harsh man?Every martial artist goes through a tiger phase what he did was dumb but ease up a little bit.

I certainly did. At 30, I injured my shoulder showing the 20-somethings "how it is done" in an advanced ukemi class.

I don't do that now.

 

[sgraves]

I certainly did. At 30, I injured my shoulder showing the 20-somethings "how it is done" in an advanced ukemi class.

I don't do that now.

right! I certainly went through it as well,its a phase everyone has to go through in order to go unto that next plane as a warrior

 

[Gerry Seymour]

right! I certainly went through it as well,its a phase everyone has to go through in order to go unto that next plane as a warrior

I like to think everyone has to. If anyone here didn't, please don't tell me.

 

[sgraves]

I like to think everyone has to. If anyone here didn't, please don't tell me.

what ironbear24 did wasn't ok but that lesson needed to be learned,everyone is acting like he just committed the worst crime in history

 

[sgraves]

I like to think everyone has to. If anyone here didn't, please don't tell me.

it would be a lie if people say they didn't go through that phase .

 

[Gerry Seymour]

what ironbear24 did wasn't ok but that lesson needed to be learned,everyone is acting like he just committed the worst crime in history

I tend to agree. He has some lessons to learn, but many are judging that based on his age. That's the same mistake he made when he referred to those who started earlier. We all have to learn at our own pace. We can't change what we have or have not learned in the past - all we can do is learn from where we are today.

 

[sgraves]

I tend to agree. He has some lessons to learn, but many are judging that based on his age. That's the same mistake he made when he referred to those who started earlier. We all have to learn at our own pace. We can't change what we have or have not learned in the past - all we can do is learn from where we are today.

yea very true