Self-confidence problem

[alphacat]

Hey everyone,
I'm new here and hope to fit in well.

I registered a Muay Thai gym last week so I'm at the very beginning of this martial art.
I generally have a low self-confidence and it disturbs me while practicing in the gym.

It really bothers me when we're divided into pairs and applying techniques on each other.
I don’t hit strong enough (I don’t mean applying 100% power, but a reasonable force).
Instead of performing the technique slowly, I do it too fast (since I become nervous) and therefore I don’t do it perfect.
My movements are not decisive and aggressive enough as they are when I practice alone.

Could you guys give me please some tips of how to overcome it?
I got my third class tomorrow and I really wanna do well there.

I'm trying to repeat at home all the moves we learned in class (though its very hard with studies and job).

Thanks a lot.​

 

[ap Oweyn]

Third class? Relax. Your best answer is "time." You'll relax with more experience. And you're putting way too much pressure on yourself to perform well. You're learning. Don't make it into more than that. It'll only be detrimental to your training.

 

[CoryKS]

Give yourself permission to be a beginner. Accept that you're going to make mistakes. That way, you have more opportunity to say, "Let's try this" or "I wonder what would happen if I..." Just have fun with it.

 

[still learning]

Hello, It is very common to compare yourself to others...remember they all had a beginning too...

Just compare yourself for today only....in time you will look back? ...and see the difference...(lots of improvements) ...great for self-esteem and self-confidence building

weeks will turn into months...than years...NOTHING great is build in short terms .....Good things will happen in time...expect a long run...(this is looking back at yourself times)

Killer Instincts - When one has this? ...in fight he thinks what he is going to do to the other guy(s)...and never worries about himself..

most of us..needs to develop this "killer instincts" ....because when you think about what is going to happen to you? ....you will NOT develop self-confidences....

Study this further.........................Aloha,

PS: Also...one must like himself for what he is...Do not compare to others...

 

[Xinglu]

Also, don't forget to breathe, it is a great reducer of nerves

 

[alphacat]

Hey guys,

It was really great reading your comments.
I do tend to go hard on myself sometimes, i guess it derives from this large attraction i got for Muay Thai.

As you said, i'll try to act as a beginner tomorrow and perform moves real slow.

I'm also facing this problem that the coach demonstrates a new move too quickly for me to understand it right, and i dont feel comfortable to ask him to repeat it slowly this time.
Would it be accepted if i asked him to do that?

Thanks.

 

[Xinglu]

I'm also facing this problem that the coach demonstrates a new move too quickly for me to understand it right, and i dont feel comfortable to ask him to repeat it slowly this time.
Would it be accepted if i asked him to do that?

Any Coach/Instructor that does not take questions or will not repeat the demonstration so that everyone understands it, should not be coaching/teaching.

They are there to make you a better fighter. They are there for YOU. Never ever ever be afraid of asking questions or asking to see it again. You are a beginner and it is EXPECTED and encouraged. I am by no means a beginner in my art, but I continually ask my instructors questions and ask to see things several times if I'm not getting it!

 

[alphacat]

Thanks.

Actually, its not that i dont feel comfortable with the coach explaining it to me over again.
Its just that i dont feel convenient with all the other trainers having to watch it again instead of start practicing.

The coach usually repeats every move twice, but the thing is that he does it very quickly, he doesnt stress each part of the move so it sometimes seems to me just like throwing legs and fists to the air.

 

[baron]

Sure if you do not understand something ask to see it again. Do not know about muay thai but in karate their were lot's of moves I did noy fully understand and asked to see again and again. As I progressed up in belt rankings I would always learn something more about moves that I thought were basic. Remember you are in for the long haul not the short cut's and that takes time. Just enjoy being a beginner every thing will come in time.

 

[Xinglu]

Sure if you do not understand something ask to see it again. Do not know about muay thai but in karate their were lot's of moves I did noy fully understand and asked to see again and again. As I progressed up in belt rankings I would always learn something more about moves that I thought were basic. Remember you are in for the long haul not the short cut's and that takes time. Just enjoy being a beginner every thing will come in time.

Exactly, this is something you have invested yourself in. if you don't get the basics down really darn good, then you will be a weak and ineffective fighter. In Xingyi we stand in Santi Stance for extended periods, we refine this stance because from this stance, everything flow out of.

Be patient with yourself, your instructors are.

 

[alphacat]

Thanks

What is it that i hear you saying 'enjoy being a beginner'?

I hope that when you become experienced you still get to enjoy this stuff

 

[suicide]

self confidence takes awhile but once you get it they aint no turning back plus the world will notice ( your world ) :whip1:

 

[blindsage]

When I have my own students, one day, I'd like a small framed saying on the wall that says 'Failure is the only option'. You have to make mistakes in order to learn, you're supposed to, it's part of the process. You aren't expected to get everything perfect straight off the bat. Give yourself a chance to learn.

Relax.

Breathe.

 

[Carol]

Thanks.

Actually, its not that i dont feel comfortable with the coach explaining it to me over again.
Its just that i dont feel convenient with all the other trainers having to watch it again instead of start practicing.

The coach usually repeats every move twice, but the thing is that he does it very quickly, he doesnt stress each part of the move so it sometimes seems to me just like throwing legs and fists to the air.

This is my advice from someone that often slows up class with noob questions

Keep in mind, your classmates have all been there. They've been the ones that have had to stop the instructor while other people looked at them. That is not something that will be treated with snarkyness or teasing behaviour. We've all been there too....that's something that is universal across all of the arts. It can be positively unnerving but it does get better.

You pay your instructor to teach you (or even if you don't pay, you've indicated that you've put your trust in him to do so). Give him the responsibility of leading the class, but make sure you take responsibility of being a student.

When you need to ask a question, ask the question. Let your kru make the call as to how to proceed. He may answer, he may go over it again, he may say "Good question, I need to move on here but lets work on that at the end of class." He that he is committed to giving everyone a great class, and he will make the call as to what he has to do as everyone's kru.

All you have to do is give him the data and trust in him to make the right proceeding call for the class. Then relax and enjoy as best as you can.

 

[yorkshirelad]

Most people are more concerned with their own performance than critiqing yours. Just train to have fun. If you go with an attitude of wanting to learn you will have no problem. If you already knew the art, you wouldn't be going for instruction, so relax.

I'm always amazed at people who want to train in sports/martial arts but are aprehensive. You are supposed to train for enjoyment, so relax and have fun. Don't sign a contract until you know that you're in the right place and when you find the right place, it will be like a second family. Soon enough you will spot the nervous newby and help him fit as you remember how you felt when you first started. Empathy will make you a better martial arts teacher/student.

Good luck and have fun!!

 

[Sukerkin]

Quite right, YL.

Everyone who is not the world's greatest egotist has more or less the same emotional reactions, Alpha. Never be afraid to ask questions in class - after all, if you don't understand, how can you improve?

In the unlikely event that you're made to feel stupid for asking the 'dumb' question that most beginners would ask then I can only recommend that you consider finding another school.

Also, in case noone has emphasised this yet, the time you stop feeling like a 'beginner' and start thinking you know everything should never come. I did over a decade of Lau Gar and never stopped learning and I'm sandan in MJER and still consider myself barely started along the journey.

 

[Carol]

I'm always amazed at people who want to train in sports/martial arts but are aprehensive.

Because its nerve wracking as hell being out there in the beginning. Especially for someone like me that has not always been the most athletic or done wrestling or dancing or anything else where you have to learn to make your body do odd things in front of a bunch of people

Being the only one in the room that can't do stuff that others can isn't fun. Its isolating as ****. Watching younger, stronger, fitter people commanding the material faster while I was still at the "Bonjour, Jean" stage made me wonder if this is the best use of my time. But when I stumbled, my instructor reached out for me, and when I fell flat on my face he reached out to me again and eventually I reached the point where things started to make more sense and reaching the point where I was satisfied with being the best I could be.

 

[Flea]

Another thought with asking questions:

Even if it's the same question that every newbie asks, repetition is a great source of learning. So you're doing the whole class a favor by helping everyone reinforce a key point like "remember to breathe." (So simple, yet so elusive. I'll probably never get that one down.) Better yet, it could have the opposite effect; chances are good that one of your questions will enable someone else in the class to see something in a whole new light. The computer mouse was invented when one programmer asked why all commands come through the keyboard. So you never know ... you could rock somebody's MA world by making them think a little further than they had before. :ultracool

 

[Big Don]

The hardest thing in the world is not being your own worst critic.

 

[Xinglu]

The hardest thing in the world is not being your own worst critic.

Sooooooooo true!