I am often ashamed at the insensitivity of humankind when these sorts of discussions come up. No one WANTS to be homeless. If someone is homeless, they got there because they drew a short straw...period. An upper middle class or wealthy kid can ****-up all through high school and manage to get by enough to ****-up at schools like MI State or Western MI (no offense to those who go there and who work hard) and manage to get by enough to ****-up a few first time jobs before daddy feels they're "ready" to get a Kush job at his company where they can work for 60K a year starting at 35 hours a week, with no bills because mommy bought his first starter home, etc. etc. etc.
Or perhaps a wealthy kid can grow up a C student to be a coke and alcahol addict, bankrupt and fail a few businesses that daddy sets up for him, yet still become president of the United States.
I think you get the idea. Some can ****-up all they want, and someone will pick them up after they fall, again and again. Others have the cards stacked against them from the start, and can't afford to ****-up at all. Some kids grow up parentless or with abusive parents in poor communities with very little choices. What about them? What about the woman with the abusive husband who flee's with no where to go? What about someone who loses their job, can't make rent, gets evicted, etc., etc. How come someone like GW Bush or Ted Kennedy (to be politically unbiased) can get a DUI or two, yet still be employed and still be able to drive, when if the lower income person gets the DUI, they bankrupt themselves on court fee's too often lose their license and spend a few weeks in jail? Without a license and without being able to come to work for a few weeks, joe shmo becomes quickly unemployed, can't drive to get another job, loses the apartment, etc., etc.
I could go on with real examples that I have personally seen where people who already have the cards stacked against them ****-up once and it leads to a downward spiral that they are unable to turn around. I agree that most homeless did something wrong to aid them getting there, but don't think that they didn't have the cards stacked against them to begin with. So please do me the small favor to NOT have the nerve to give some ******** line about pulling yourself up from your bootstraps during this season of giving (and of elevated unemployment rates and poor economy) while you sit in your cozy chair with your latte' clicking away on your dell discussing how lazy the poor is.
Now, the unfortunate thing is that giving the homeless a dollar or two when they ask may seem like the right thing to do, but it usually doesn't really help them or the situation in the long run. Plus, you could be putting yourself in a terrible self-defense situation depending on the circumstance and who you are and who they are. So this is how I usually handle things:
#1. I generally don't give money to pan-handlers. If they just ask for money with no explination, I don't. I try to donate money and goods to charities for the disadvantaged every year where I know that my money will be used to truely combat the problem, rather then being used to fullfill a short-term need that doesn't really help the problem in the long run.
#2. There are some people who have an explaination as to why they need something from you. These are either 1. people truely in need, or 2. total scammers. Most, I think, are total scammers. But some aren't. How do you weed them out? Total scammers want your money rather then your help, where as people truely in need will gladly take your help. So, I become overly generous with my help rather then my money.
Example: I was at a gas station when a man asked me for a few dollars to fill his tank of gas. I asked him why...or what happened to him that he would be in this bind. He had told me that his house was wiped out by a tornado (which had hit the day before as I knew) and that he and his family were on their way to his sisters about 4 hours away. They had no money and they had lost everything, basically, so they were going to stay with her. I looked over and saw the beat up old car hap-hazardly packed tight with some salvaged belongings, and a wife and a kid in the car. I asked what they needed to get to his sisters safely. He said he needed a full tank and maybe a few bucks for some food because they hadn't eaten today. He said that whatever I could give was fine, and that he would try to pay me back somehow...offered to exchange addresses or something like that. So, I paid the clerk and gave the man a full tank of gas. He was overjoyed and greatful and wanted to mail me the money back, and told him I wouldn't except him paying me back. I then gave him some money for food, and told him Merry Christmas.
In that example, I weighed the situation carefully, I saw he was in need and that he would have been having to go to elaborate measures to scam me out of a few bucks if he was scamming me. It was clear to me that he wasn't, and I was glad to have been able to help.
In a similar situation, I had a guy approach me at a Sandwhich joint outside. He said his car ran out of gas and that he needed to get home. I asked if he wanted me to call someone on my phone to get help; he said no with some elaborate reason, but basically he only wanted money. So, I asked where his car was parked, and he said the gas station down the street. With that I offered to meet him over there so that I could fill his tank for him. He eventually ended up walking away empty handed and pissed.
In that example, he clearly was a panhandler who was trying to scam me out of a few dollars rather then someone who was in a bind. Sure, he probably was in need or he wouldn't have been pan-handling, but I would rather give money to a charity where I can be sure it'll be a help; and I especially won't give money to someone trying to scam me.
So, that is how I handle the rare circumstances when someone has a story to tell. I offer generousity and help rather then a dollar.
Try it sometime. Buy a guy a sandwhich if he says he needs money for food once and a while if you can afford to, or offer someone help if it won't scew up your schedule too badly. Your life will be that much more enriched by it, I gaurantee.
#3. Just a side note....if you are at risk, do not even entertain panhandlers. It's just bad self-defense. I am armed all the time and ready when a stranger approaches; plus I am a fairly large male who is less likely to be victimized. I make sure the cards are stacked in my favor if the **** goes down before I entertain the idea of helping someone out. If you are a woman or a male who is at risk, don't put yourself in a bad spot. Stats. show that 1/3 of all homeless are armed with a blade, and there are a few who might be crazy enough to use it on you. So don't put yourself in a bad spot and get robbed, hurt, or killed for your generousity.
Sorry for the long rant...
Seacrest out..
PJMOD
