How did you get over a demoralizing incident?


Yellow Belt
Aug 28, 2008
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Of course people will say that you should learn from your defeats.But what if you did something in which you were to blame for losing a real fight like being drunk ,not paying attention or letting down your guard in an extremely dangerous neighbourhood/area? For example, I let my guard down cause I was overworrying about sweating too much due to my Hyperhidrosis condition(It's not an excuse though)

Or maybe you have reached an older age if which you were supposed to have learnt from your mistake but slipped up once.


Goin' with the flow
MT Mentor
MTS Alumni
Sep 5, 2006
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Ossining , NY
Unfortunately, you have been cursed with human DNA, which makes you suceptible to things like lapses in judgement, mistakes and a plethora of other things that make you less than perfect. Learn from it and move on and try to remeber the lesson the next time you're in a similar situation, and above all, cut yourself some slack.


3rd Black Belt
Dec 31, 2007
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True story...

I was at a tournement in North Carolina in '96...I was sparring in the continuous full contact division, and I was a blue belt at the time.

I had made it to the 2nd round of competition out of 4, and decided to try to psych my opponent out. I figured I would try making noises like Bruce Lee while I was sparring...I got overly distracted in trying to make the noises, slipped, and caught a foot to the face.

I live about 2 hours south of Atlanta...and that was a very, very long ride back home.

I never really got over it, per se. Rather, I learned not to try to use tactics that were that goofy and to keep my mind on the task at hand, and to not let myself get distracted. I also learned to take sparring more seriously.


Brown Belt
Aug 16, 2008
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Something that my instructor says all that time is this: "Even monkeys fall out of the tree sometimes" The point is that we all make mistakes. You COULD spend the rest of time playing "what if", but there is no profit in that road. Instead, do your best to not repeat the same mistakes.


MTS Alumni
Jan 21, 2003
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79 Wistful Vista
The english language is full of phrases like "Fuggidaboutit" and "stuff happens" for a reason. We all make mistakes and over analyzing them after the fact is even worse than you over worrying about something during the fight. It happened, it's over, move on without beating yourself up about it.

Deaf Smith

Master of Arts
Apr 25, 2008
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Back in junior high school I ripped my pants in PE class. Talk about demoralizing....

Son, we are not God. We are not perfect. Homo Sapiens are 90 percent idiots, 9 percent clueless, and maybe one percent simi-intellegent.

Everyone drops their guard now and then. Everyone!



Senior Master
Jan 26, 2007
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Go back and try try again. Giving up in defeat is more damaging than failure itself.

Here;s my true story. I was in music school. Each semester we were to put on a juried show where we played the musical pieces we'd learned over the course of the semester. As it turns out, I have/had terrible performance anxiety. I never knbew this becasue much of my previous performance experience was as a part of a group....not solo. I'd practiced so hard and was really on top of my stuff...except i was a littel shaky on this one Chopin Etude. I couldn't memorize it in time and had to play it with the sheet music.

Well, I was doing fine with my performance in fron tof several of the professors of the school and my classmates. My legs and arms were shaking so bad I could hardly play...but I was holding my own. Anyway, I had the music ofr the Chopin set up so I didn;t need a page turner. However I did not account for the fact that the AC vent was aimed right at the pia no I was using to play. Soon after I started the piece, the AC kicks in and the music starts to fall. I struggle to get it back in place and not lose a beat, but my concentration is broken. Within seconds I'm ottally lost. I can't find my place on the page and the I'm mangling the music. I wanted to crawl inside the piano and die.

I damn near gave up school at that point. However, I was pulled aside by a professor. She talked me into staying. Next semester I played the piece again and nailed it. Furthermore I learned a lot about performance preparation, reseaching hwo to deal with specific phobias, and I'm now a better musician for all that.

Lomng story but the moral is when you get knocked down...pick yourself up and get back at it. don't give up. This is equally applicable to th emartial arts or any other worthwhile pursuit.


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