I would. Straight under the bus, hopefully to be washed away down the nearest storm drain.
At least, any of them(the overwhelming majority ) that involve showing people fixed moves for very specific circumstances(he grabs you like this, you do this very unrealistic thing that only works if he cooperates and tada!).
Self defense that just teaches you situational awareness and when to run away or yell for help can be helpful I guess.
You just can't and won't learn how to defend yourself over a weekend, or even a month of weekends.
Edit - from that link, purely for the LOLs.
Look At Just Some Of The Techniques You Will Master:
- Enter Under Cover – Safely Attack the Attacker
- Gorilla Pull – This is PURE EVIL
- Lung Collapser – This is Just Plain Nasty
- Bladder and Bowel Release – OMG – See the bad guy urinate in a heap on the floor after being hit
- One Arm Strangle – Multiple Attacker Technique
- Brachial Stun – Instant K.O Baby
- Thai Strangle – You NEED to learn this one – Multiple Attacker Technique
- Much More