Bored Husband is Taken

[Brian R. VanCise]

Bored husband (Absolutely Excellent)

Proof of what can happen if a wife drags her husband along to go

shopping.

Dear Mrs. Murry,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping
with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of
offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance
cameras.


MEMO


Re: Complaints
15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
tampons section.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
M&M's on lay-way.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told the
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he
begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me
alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as
a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting departme nt
asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly
humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna
look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker
he assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those
voices again!!!

And; last, but not least!

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
here!"

Lesson learned: Leave your husband at home!

 

[terryl965]

lmao

 

[JBrainard]

:lfao:

 

[bydand]

Worse part is I'm related to people like this... OK I am a person like this sometimes. :lfao:

All joking aside, this really does sound like going into a store with my brother. He is worse than my kids in that he has to touch EVERYTHING in the place. I've seen him digging through a sales bin of ladies panties before and when I asked "WTF are you doing?" he started to laugh and held up these gigantic bloomers and announced "Just seeing how big these bad boys come, Look at these monsters, ain't they just sexy!" then burst into gails of laughter. At that point an old lady come around the corner and smacked him on the arm. I thought he was going to die of embarrassment.

 

[jks9199]

What's really scary is that I can relate stories very similar to most of those events from when I worked in retail...

OK... I admit, I've done some of those or similar stunts myself.

 

[Live True]

:cheers::roflmao:
Just so you know....women find this hysterical as well! I've been known to rearrange manakins and play with displays myself...but some of these are downright scary..too funny!

 

[Kreth]

I think this has been posted 3 or 4 times under different titles, such as "Thing to do in Wal-Mart when you're bored," but what the hell...
As a big guy with tattoos, and (at times) long hair, I tend to pick up an LP tail quite often. To amuse myself, I'll often wander into departments such as Lingerie, and see how long they stick with it.

 

[Xue Sheng]

:lfao: