"You're not special commencement speech"

[sfs982000]

This guy is my new hero LOL.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout...ker-tells-students-not-special-145709954.html

I'm sure that he's going to catch alot of flak for saying that, but it is a really good speech and brings up a lot of good points about parenting and society today.

 

[Makalakumu]

This guy is my new hero LOL.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout...ker-tells-students-not-special-145709954.html

I'm sure that he's going to catch alot of flak for saying that, but it is a really good speech and brings up a lot of good points about parenting and society today.

I'll have to listen to this later. I bet I've heard something like it before.

 

[Steve]

I think it's a great message, but in some cases it's a point that's overstated. It's like most things where 'in general' things are going to pot, but when you look at actual trends, there's nothing new really going on. While I'll be the first to admit that I'm not generally a fan of "other peoples' kids," I've seen a lot of good kids around. They're bright, helpful, energetic and motivated to succeed. There are always dumbasses in every bunch, but the vast majority of the kids are guilty of nothing more than just being young. They think they're invincible and capable of anything, and I don't see that as being a bad thing, or at all different from 25 years ago when I was a teenager, or 35 years ago when my brothers were teenagers.

While kids are, in general, more tech savvy than ever before, they are still, IMHO, very much like teenagers in every era.

That said, it's bitterly ironic to me that on a martial arts board, this has been posted. I see kids martial arts in general as being guilty of preaching entitlement and false accomplishment than in any other child activity I can think of. I can't think of anything more destructive to children than the typical belt factory martial arts school where kids spend their time learning very little practical skill and are rewarded routinely with a gazillion belts, stripes and patches for nothing.

 

[pgsmith]

I can't think of anything more destructive to children than the typical belt factory martial arts school where kids spend their time learning very little practical skill and are rewarded routinely with a gazillion belts, stripes and patches for nothing.

Then you've not worked with many kids. I can think of a bunch of things more destructive ... sitting on the couch watching TV, or playing video games, or surfing the internet, or any of a hundred sedentary things that kids do to occupy themselves these days. The vast majority of kids martial arts schools are simply a way to get the kids some exercise. They're kids after all, and very few of them will go on to have, or need, serious careers in the martial arts. They don't really need anything other than little practical skill and silly rewards that keep them interested.

What else do you feel that kids need out of a martial arts class?

 

[Josh Oakley]

Well I HAVE worked with many kids, and one thing I can say with confidence is kids gain authentic self confidence AND work ethic when they are not just handed things, belts and trophies included. If they fail, and are coached to success from that point, they gain self confidence AND understand to work for what they get. And the instructor/student relationship is strengthened.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

 

[WC_lun]

I cannot disagree with his main message. However, there is a time and place for everything. I do not think speaking at a high school graduation is the time or place. Whether he likes it or not, graduation is an achievement and a right of passage of sorts, celebrated by the families perhaps moreso than the students themselves. I can see where to the families there to celebrate those kids, he sounds like an embittered, old, jerk. Again, I'm not saying he is wrong, but a high school commencement speach is ot the time to break out with the anti-entitlement prose.

 

[Carol]

This guy is my new hero LOL.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout...ker-tells-students-not-special-145709954.html

I'm sure that he's going to catch alot of flak for saying that, but it is a really good speech and brings up a lot of good points about parenting and society today.

Anc that was in a VERY wealthy town. Pampered and cosseted in the literal sense indeed.

Of course he's teaching the kids a good lesson: If you have the chance to be a media whore -- do it!

 

[granfire]

I cannot disagree with his main message. However, there is a time and place for everything. I do not think speaking at a high school graduation is the time or place. Whether he likes it or not, graduation is an achievement and a right of passage of sorts, celebrated by the families perhaps moreso than the students themselves. I can see where to the families there to celebrate those kids, he sounds like an embittered, old, jerk. Again, I'm not saying he is wrong, but a high school commencement speach is ot the time to break out with the anti-entitlement prose.

yeah, but his end of the speech kind of took the sting out of it.
It sounded kind of neat, heart felt, to me.


at our High school, the Valedictorian said something about how they were all psyched to be in high school getting into 8th grade, and how they were back at the bottom of the rung lol I would have had to tell them 'yeah, guys, this is 8th grade all over again'



(reminds me, I still have to find tywo of m seniors to give them their baggy, since I missed them at graduation)

 

[pgsmith]

Well I HAVE worked with many kids, and one thing I can say with confidence is kids gain authentic self confidence AND work ethic when they are not just handed things, belts and trophies included. If they fail, and are coached to success from that point, they gain self confidence AND understand to work for what they get. And the instructor/student relationship is strengthened.

That is a very true statement regarding kids that are serious about martial arts. It has been my experience that those that are likely to be that serious about it will search out serious instruction, just as adults will. However, there are a great number of kids and adults that aren't serious about it, and aren't likely to get that way. For those, the plethora of imitation martial arts studios fill a need, which is why there are so many of them. I am of the firm opinion that any form of martial arts, whether from a serious martial arts instructor or from a corner McDojo, is vastly superior to watching television or playing video games.

 

[Makalakumu]

Okay, I finally had the chance to listen to the whole speech. I think there is a deeper point, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I understand that our society minimizes real achievement by awarding everything under the sun and I wonder why do we need to give an award for everything? What is it about our collective self esteem that says we need to award every performance regardless of it's quality? My gut feeling is that people feel like real achievement is beyond them, that people are minimizing real achievement by giving awards for absolutely everything, because of feelings of mass inferiority. Is the overall phenomenon a symptom of a collective crisis in self esteem? Or is it something else?

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

If I am correct by byu the quotes I have heard is that at the end he said some thing to the effect that the greatest thing is when you realize that everyone is special. So that is really interesting. Listen your not special. Then everyone is special. Kind've a little contradictory message if you ask me!

 

[Steve]

Then you've not worked with many kids. I can think of a bunch of things more destructive ... sitting on the couch watching TV, or playing video games, or surfing the internet, or any of a hundred sedentary things that kids do to occupy themselves these days. The vast majority of kids martial arts schools are simply a way to get the kids some exercise. They're kids after all, and very few of them will go on to have, or need, serious careers in the martial arts. They don't really need anything other than little practical skill and silly rewards that keep them interested.

What else do you feel that kids need out of a martial arts class?

Personally, and this is just my opinion, kids are losing out physically sitting on the couch, but they aren't being given EXACTLY what the speech in the OP refers to. In other words, at the typical belt factory, kids are ACTIVELY being taught that effort is meaningless, everyone achieves and is rewarded regardless of what they do, and that hard work gets you very little.

I think kids should have fun, but I've said many times here before, I believe they get more actual achievement and learn more real world life lessons on a chess club or playing in band then they do at a belt factory, strip mall TKD school.

 

[Sukerkin]

If I am correct by byu the quotes I have heard is that at the end he said some thing to the effect that the greatest thing is when you realize that everyone is special. So that is really interesting. Listen your not special. Then everyone is special. Kind've a little contradictory message if you ask me!

To my ears that isn't contradictory, Brian {"Oh yes it is!" he cries, panto style }. It's a restating of the "nobody is average" idea I think. It is not yourself that is special, everyone is special. It's an idea that I have an easier time accepting as philosophy than in reality mind you given some of the brain-dead wastes-of-space I've encountered :lol:.

 

[pgsmith]

Personally, and this is just my opinion, kids are losing out physically sitting on the couch, but they aren't being given EXACTLY what the speech in the OP refers to. In other words, at the typical belt factory, kids are ACTIVELY being taught that effort is meaningless, everyone achieves and is rewarded regardless of what they do, and that hard work gets you very little.

That's the message from society in general. They don't need to visit the McDojo to learn that, they are bombarded with it from their schools, the media, and most of their parents.

I think kids should have fun, but I've said many times here before, I believe they get more actual achievement and learn more real world life lessons on a chess club or playing in band then they do at a belt factory, strip mall TKD school.

Probably, but the kids at the McDojo are not the ones that are interested in joining band, nor are they any of the 10 kids out of 4000 who are in the chess club. These are all those kids whose parents sign them up for the soccer league (yep, the one that gives everybody a trophy and doesn't have playoffs any more) to try and get them out of the house. It's also something the parents can do with their kids that doesn't require them to seriously study martial arts.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning any of the purchased belts, phony certificates, or memberships in the "World Soke Council" that can be found at "Strip Mall TKD of America". I just don't believe that the belt mill McDojo is any danger to real martial arts, as so many seem to think.

 

[Steve]

That's the message from society in general. They don't need to visit the McDojo to learn that, they are bombarded with it from their schools, the media, and most of their parents.

I disagree. Parents? Some. Discussions about parents or parenting is, IMO, a little too abstract. There are SO many things that go into parenting, whether it's age, economics, backgrounds, religion, personality. Even interest. Some people are better parents than others. So, I will agree that many parents suck. But, I'd also argue that many don't suck. Some parents put their kids into programs expecting constant validation, and those programs are McDojos or the like.

Schools? Not very much in my experience. Maybe I've been particularly lucky with good public schools, but kids who work hard get A's and get into honors classes. This leads to AP classes and college credit. It's a logical progression. Kids who don't get C's, get a basic education and while they graduate, they aren't rewarded with an undeserved head start. Their lack of reward points directly to their lack of performance. Do many kids fail classes? Probably not, but that by no means suggests that they're doing well.

The media? Certainly, but no more now than when I was a kid. Media is ultimately about selling something, whether it's a product, a show or a brand. It's no different with adults, and a company will say literally whatever it needs to in order to sound more appealing to a target audience.

But all of this is completely beside the point.

Probably, but the kids at the McDojo are not the ones that are interested in joining band, nor are they any of the 10 kids out of 4000 who are in the chess club. These are all those kids whose parents sign them up for the soccer league (yep, the one that gives everybody a trophy and doesn't have playoffs any more) to try and get them out of the house. It's also something the parents can do with their kids that doesn't require them to seriously study martial arts.

Other examples of programs that don't typically teach kids a false sense of entitlement are any little league sport, JROTC or the Boy Scouts of America. In little league, you learn practical skills, and if you continue past the pee wee stages of little league, your ability to progress past the open leagues into "select" leagues depends on your talent, your aptitude and your willingness to work hard. You don't get "promoted" to a more advanced league unless you earn it. That, in my opinion, is a quality life lesson that belies the entire premise of the speech above.

Same goes for the BSoA. I've never been a Boy Scout, but my understanding is that the criteria for earning a merit badge is clear and very few scouts achieve Eagle Scout.

Again, the point isn't that the sense of entitlement exists. It does. I just believe that it's grossly overstated, and I also believe that it's funny and ironic to me that it comes up on a martial arts forum when I believe that McDojos are among the worst for promoting a false sense of accomplishment and entitlement in our Nation's children.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning any of the purchased belts, phony certificates, or memberships in the "World Soke Council" that can be found at "Strip Mall TKD of America". I just don't believe that the belt mill McDojo is any danger to real martial arts, as so many seem to think.

"Real martial arts?" I don't think that the McDojo is a "threat" to "real martial arts." I don't even know where that's coming from. I do see that the strip mall TKD or Krotty schools use as a marketing tool false accomplishment and empty praise, and I think that it's entirely possible for a child to be less capable of defending himself after attaining a black belt in TKD than he was before he ever stepped into the McDojang.

 

[pgsmith]

I disagree. Parents? Some. Discussions about parents or parenting is, IMO, a little too abstract. There are SO many things that go into parenting, whether it's age, economics, backgrounds, religion, personality. Even interest. Some people are better parents than others. So, I will agree that many parents suck. But, I'd also argue that many don't suck. Some parents put their kids into programs expecting constant validation, and those programs are McDojos or the like.

I agree, it is pretty abstract. I was a Boy Scout leader for many years, and one argument that I had regularly was about the games and competitions that occured within the troop. I would regularly get hammered by parents upset with me because their little Johnny was upset about losing whatever game we happened to play that day. I can't tell you how many times, or how many ways, I told parents that Johnny would be fine and needed to learn how to lose before he figured out how to win. I'd tell them that he and his patrol would eventually get tired of losing and would figure out how to do better. It's part of the program, but was a constant source of contention from the parents.

Schools? Not very much in my experience. Maybe I've been particularly lucky with good public schools, but kids who work hard get A's and get into honors classes. This leads to AP classes and college credit. It's a logical progression. Kids who don't get C's, get a basic education and while they graduate, they aren't rewarded with an undeserved head start. Their lack of reward points directly to their lack of performance. Do many kids fail classes? Probably not, but that by no means suggests that they're doing well.

Certainly the kids that work hardest will get a slight head start with AP classes and good grades. However the vast majority of students, at least in Texas, spend their time practicing for assesment tests that are used to grade the schools. There is no real punishment for a lack of effort as their teacher is required to make them learn enough to pass the assesment tests. The majority of students aren't gifted enough to get AP classes. The bulk of a school's student body will fall somewhere between a B average and a D average, with no real difference made between them.

The media? Certainly, but no more now than when I was a kid. Media is ultimately about selling something, whether it's a product, a show or a brand. It's no different with adults, and a company will say literally whatever it needs to in order to sound more appealing to a target audience.

But all of this is completely beside the point.Other examples of programs that don't typically teach kids a false sense of entitlement are any little league sport, JROTC or the Boy Scouts of America. In little league, you learn practical skills, and if you continue past the pee wee stages of little league, your ability to progress past the open leagues into "select" leagues depends on your talent, your aptitude and your willingness to work hard. You don't get "promoted" to a more advanced league unless you earn it. That, in my opinion, is a quality life lesson that belies the entire premise of the speech above.

I agree with you, but you are again only talking about a very small minority of kids that are good enough to get into the select leagues. Here's another example for you ... when my eldest son was little, he was one of only two decent players on his little league team. I can vividly remember the year that they started giving trophies out to everyone because several of the parents got very upset that their kids were not getting anything at awards night.

Same goes for the BSoA. I've never been a Boy Scout, but my understanding is that the criteria for earning a merit badge is clear and very few scouts achieve Eagle Scout.

More now than there used to be because many of the leaders are reluctant to argue with the parents, and so end up signing off on things that they shouldn't.

Again, the point isn't that the sense of entitlement exists. It does. I just believe that it's grossly overstated, and I also believe that it's funny and ironic to me that it comes up on a martial arts forum when I believe that McDojos are among the worst for promoting a false sense of accomplishment and entitlement in our Nation's children.
"Real martial arts?" I don't think that the McDojo is a "threat" to "real martial arts." I don't even know where that's coming from. I do see that the strip mall TKD or Krotty schools use as a marketing tool false accomplishment and empty praise, and I think that it's entirely possible for a child to be less capable of defending himself after attaining a black belt in TKD than he was before he ever stepped into the McDojang.

Where that's coming from is a reaction to your obvious hatred of the corner TKD store. A great many serious martial artists express the same sentiment regarding the McDojos. I happen to believe that as long as their instructor isn't setting the kids on fire, it isn't going to hurt them and may get them interested in learning a real martial art. Your statement about making them less capable of defending themselves doesn't make much sense to me. It has been my experience that most of kids martial arts, heck adult martial arts for that matter, have nothing at all to do with defending yourself. A large number of the martial artists that I've met, who weren't in a law enforcement or security, had no real concept of self defense. They talked about it and claimed to have learned it, but neither they nor their instructors had ever been in an actual self defense situation, so they were simply parroting what they were taught. Of course, the number of martial artists that will ever have to use their training to defend themselves is incredibly small anyway, so it doesn't really make much difference in the long run.

Guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.

Cheers,