You Know You've Been in Martial Arts Too Long When...

Doc_Jude

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You know you've been in the martial arts too long when you....
- can't walk by anyone in your school without exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks.
- have the urge to bow everytime you leave or enter a room.
- are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
- think to yourself while trying on pants: "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them well."
- find your practicing staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.
- find yourself practicing stances while waiting in line.
- practice your techniques in the parking lot while waiting for someone to come out of the store
- (and almost get the police called upon you because the manager at store thinks your weird.)
- open and close doors with spinning kicks.
- open doors with a punch or an intentionally executed palm strike.
- buy shoes because they are flexible or have steel toes.
- when buying those shoes, you don't walk or jog around the store, you practice pivots, sweeps, stances, and kicks.
- when you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling, and in anger, kick it and damage it.
- practice blocks while driving.
- do Finger Set while sitting at a stop light.
- use various strikes to turn lights on and off (yes, this includes your feet, too.)
- see people covered in a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital targets.
- can't enjoy a martial art flick anymore because of the unrealistic moves.
notice that you never never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.
- notice that you always have to sit to face the most people in a cafeteria, restaurant, meeting room. (Can't have your back to the door!)
- keep a martial arts weapon close at hand while you sleep.
- have mastered the reflex to mentally imagine a messy homicide everytime someone asks if you're a black belt after learning you practice martial arts.
- don't use any tools when splitting firewood.
- spend more time surfing martial arts forums instead of doing actual work.
- don't care if the other patrons are looking at you funny.
- there are always more than 10 things in your surrounding, which you can use as a weapon in case of an emergency.
 

Cirdan

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Why would anyone buy shoes without testing how they are for stances :confused:

I need help...
 

Drac

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OMG, I guess I've been at it too long..GUILTY of alot of those...
 

Xue Sheng

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You know you've been in the martial arts too long when you....
- think to yourself while trying on pants: "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them well."
- find yourself practicing stances while waiting in line.
- open doors with a punch or an intentionally executed palm strike.
- can't enjoy a martial art flick anymore because of the unrealistic moves.
- spend more time surfing martial arts forums instead of doing actual work.

Guilty as charged

- there are always more than 10 things in your surrounding, which you can use as a weapon in case of an emergency.

Well I don't think it is 10 but it is at least 5
 

IcemanSK

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My wife thinks I'm nuts, but I gotta make sure I can kick in every pair of pants I try on.
 

Grenadier

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- have the urge to bow everytime you leave or enter a room.

Yup. Just happened yesterday, when I almost dipped my head in a bow while going through a store's doorway.

- are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.

Just a nod of the head, but yes... It does occasionally happen.

- think to yourself while trying on pants: "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them well."

Guilty as charged. I don't buy clothes that restrict movement too much.

- find your practicing staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.

Yup. I find myself running through all of the Yamanni Ryu bojutsu kata when bored like that. That's why I keep an unsharpened pencil in my folder. :)

- find yourself practicing stances while waiting in line.

Heisoku, Musubi, Heiko, Hachiji, Sanchin... Repeat until line starts moving.

- practice your techniques in the parking lot while waiting for someone to come out of the store

Working kata Unsu, so yes, one finger spear thrusts to the lower body area, and people are wondering why I'm pointing at the ground...

- (and almost get the police called upon you because the manager at store thinks your weird.)

Happened at the apartment complex that I used to live at when I was practicing tameshigiri with my katana and some foam pool noodles. Someone called the police on me, claiming that there was a lunatic with a samurai sword in the parking lot...

- open and close doors with spinning kicks.

Just standing kicks, no spinning or jumping. I've stopped elevator doors from closing as well this way.

- open doors with a punch or an intentionally executed palm strike.

Yup. Just not the steel-reinforced doors, though.

- buy shoes because they are flexible or have steel toes.

That's why I bought my Rockport athletic shoes! Comfortable, flexible, and this pair has been broken in to the extent where I can bend the toes back.

- when buying those shoes, you don't walk or jog around the store, you practice pivots, sweeps, stances, and kicks.

Yup. I also get a bunch of odd looks from people, but that's nothing new.

- when you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling, and in anger, kick it and damage it.

Thankfully, I'm only 6' tall, so I haven't had that problem.

- practice blocks while driving.

Only on the highway.

- do Finger Set while sitting at a stop light.

Nope.

- use various strikes to turn lights on and off (yes, this includes your feet, too.)

Yup. Ippon nukite and shuto, being the most commonly used ones. If the light switch is a broad one, then I might try for a precise kick.

- see people covered in a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital targets.

Black dots to me, not red cross hairs. :)


- can't enjoy a martial art flick anymore because of the unrealistic moves.

Yup. Used to love Jean Claude Van Damme movies when I was a kid, but now, can't stand him...

notice that you never never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.

Still put the hands in the coat pockets, but you're right... I won't stand with arms crossed.

- notice that you always have to sit to face the most people in a cafeteria, restaurant, meeting room. (Can't have your back to the door!)

Quite true, although this was reinforced by my firearms training as well!

- keep a martial arts weapon close at hand while you sleep.

Gun-fu practice requires that my Glocks are very, very close by.

Of course, I do have a couple of bo, nunchaku, and sai near my bed as well.

- have mastered the reflex to mentally imagine a messy homicide everytime someone asks if you're a black belt after learning you practice martial arts.

"You know Karate? Cool! Show me some!" - some character
"What do you want me to do? Break your arm?" - the response

- don't use any tools when splitting firewood.

Negative on that! This would damage my piano skills. Besides, I love using axes, mauls, and wedges!

- spend more time surfing martial arts forums instead of doing actual work.

Ah, but if I'm a martial arts teacher, isn't this also considered work?

- don't care if the other patrons are looking at you funny.

Desensitized long ago...

- there are always more than 10 things in your surrounding, which you can use as a weapon in case of an emergency.

Coffee mugs, compasses, bottle of 95% ethanol, bottle of 91% isopropanol, scalpels, old hard drives, old CD-ROM drives, old DVD-ROM drives, a video card that has some razor sharp edges, and my trusty IBM M-class keyboard that's made of mostly metal and ultrahard plastic.

Yup. I'm well-equipped!
 

tellner

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Why, umm, yeah....
Hey! You've been stalking me and talking to my friends. You must have stolen our Secret Ninja Invisibility Techni...

Right. I guess I have been doing martial arts too long.
 

newGuy12

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My wife thinks I'm nuts, but I gotta make sure I can kick in every pair of pants I try on.

Hahaha! I can see IcemanSK at the clothes store now, kicking in the pants, and his wife saying, "What are you doing?"

Yes, this is how Martial Artists do. This is our way. Its so true!
 

IcemanSK

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Hahaha! I can see IcemanSK at the clothes store now, kicking in the pants, and his wife saying, "What are you doing?"

Yes, this is how Martial Artists do. This is our way. Its so true!

She just rolls her eyes now.:rolleyes:

I also tend to open doors that don't have knobs (like public bathrooms) wwith an outside knifehand chop. (Just enough to get the wrist rotation & connect on the correct spot on my hand.)
 

Shotochem

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Yes, to most of the above. :EG:

- see people covered in a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital targets.

- notice that you always have to sit to face the most people in a cafeteria, restaurant, meeting room. (Can't have your back to the door!)


- there are always more than 10 things in your surrounding, which you can use as a weapon in case of an emergency.

Paranoia is such a harsh term, I consider it a form of heightened readiness.

-Marc-
 

IcemanSK

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Yes, to most of the above. :EG:

- see people covered in a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital targets.

- notice that you always have to sit to face the most people in a cafeteria, restaurant, meeting room. (Can't have your back to the door!)


- there are always more than 10 things in your surrounding, which you can use as a weapon in case of an emergency.

Paranoia is such a harsh term, I consider it a form of heightened readiness.

-Marc-

:lfao:
 

HelloKitty

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My wife thinks I'm nuts, but I gotta make sure I can kick in every pair of pants I try on.

you should take her to practice to the dojo then! lol

... I'm guilty of several of those :xtrmshock, and I think I'm definetely weirder than my husband... yet (he's still in the low lvls LOL) xDDD but he's already trying to open the door with the feet. Awww, I'm so proud! LMAO
 

charyuop

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I also tend to open doors that don't have knobs (like public bathrooms) wwith an outside knifehand chop. (Just enough to get the wrist rotation & connect on the correct spot on my hand.)

I do this alot, above all at work, but even at home where I have a couple of door knobs that won't shut completely so don't need turning.

Other than that and several times finding myself moving hands trying ti mime some techniques I admit that I don't do much of those things. I am trying to lower my awarness on purpose since I have noticed that I reached the point where I was seeing a danger coming from everywhere.

Even tho it is only a little bit over a year that I do Martial Arts I think I absorbed the Art into me like any other thing which is important to me. The Art walks by my side day by day without taking control over me.
 

Big Don

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I learned I can't do spinning back kicks in wranglers...
Someone asked what my instructor's name was the other day, I couldn't answer, I call him Sifu or Sir, It took me two freakin hours to remember his first name...
 

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