You Know You've Been in the Martial Arts Too Long When you.........................

Bob Hubbard

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You Know You've Been In the Martial Arts Too Long When...

* you say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think
I can kick in them."

* when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.

* you go to the shoe store to try on shoes.

* Instead of walking or jogging around the store, you practice pivoting,
sweeps, stances and kicks.

* You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and
whether it protects the toes well

* and lastly, you don't even care if (and they probably are) the other
patrons are looking at you funny. (That's the big clue)

* Now when every time you pass a wall you start to wonder:'Is that
structural or drywall?' THEN you know you've gone overboard.

* When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger
and _damage_ it.

* "GAK! NO! The *left* side of the bathrobe goes on top...."

* "What was I doing in my office when I was spinning around and flailing my
arms and legs? Ahhhhhmmmmmmm....."

* when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,
notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block
into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly

* when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;

* don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches

* open and close doors with spinning kicks

* find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives
at the fast food place

* can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a
flurry of mock strikes and kicks

* haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a
blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots

* leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu",
"Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home

* deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap
to your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the
parking lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class

* find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil
during dull meetings

* try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator,
based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough
to see it

* notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your
pockets

* tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by
your bed when you sleep

* buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes

* have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the
fight by saying something *so* cool that you make Arnold Shwarzenegger and
Clint Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes

* have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when,
directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately
ask "Are you a Black Belt ???"

* Urge to bow every time I enter or leave a room? Uh, not anymore,
thankfully.

* I used to accidentally call one of my favorite professors 'sensei' with
fair regularity, and I don't think I'll ever stop saying 'hai!' instead of
'yes!'.

* When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your
art

* When you bow going into and out of the bathroom

* When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.

* When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.

* Whenever you see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or
tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about
breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of
hard concentration, then maybe measure off a few times.
 
Another joke from a great site.


- say to the salesmen in the store, "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in
them."
- can't walk by anyone in your school without casually exchanging a flurry of
mock strikes and kicks.
- find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil
during dull meetings.
- have the urge to bow everytime you leave or enter a room.
- are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
- find yourself practicing stances while standing in lines
- bow going into and out of the bathroom
- open and close doors with spinning kicks
- buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes
- when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.
- you go to the shoe store to try on shoes. Instead of walking or jogging
around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks.
- You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and
whether it protects the toes well
- Now when every time you pass a wall you start to wonder:'Is that
structural or drywall?' THEN you know you've gone overboard.
- When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger
and _damage_ it.
- "What was I doing in my office when I was spinning around and flailing
my arms and legs? Ahhhhhmmmmmmm....."
- when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,
notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block
into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.
- when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on; (this includes your
feet folks)
- don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches
- find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives
at the fast food place
- haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a
blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots
- leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu",
"Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home
- deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap to
your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the parking
lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class
- try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based
on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to
see it
- notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets
- tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by your
bed when you sleep
- have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the fight
by saying someting so cool that you make Arnold Shwarzenegger and Clint
Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes
- have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when,
directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately
ask "Are you a Black Belt??"
- I used to accidentally call one of my favorite professors 'sensei' with fair
regularity, and I don't think I'll ever stop saying 'hai!' instead of 'yes!'.
- When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.
- Whenever you see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or tables,
and get excited while you picture just how you would go about breaking it.
Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of hard concentration,
then maybe measure off a few times.
- and lastly, you don't even care if (and they probably are) the other patrons
are looking at you funny. (That's the big clue)
 
LOL When i went to buy my boots 2 weeks ago i bought them for the steel toe and yes instead of walking in them i practiced a couple snap kicks and side kicks in them to make sure they had good balance and werent over weighted.
 
Our little family has been in the martial arts for less than a year, but I am beginning to wonder how much more it will invade even the most benign aspect of our lives....
True facts...
1) My 17 month old knows how to clasp hands and bow, throw a front ball kick, and do a push up.
2) My daughter bows at the door of her schoolbus. SHe says it because it is taking her to a place of learning. She also bows at the kitchen table to show respect to her father and I before she eats.
3) When I come home and visit for holidays, me, my bro, sis, and kid spend the vast majority of our time discussing weapons and play sparring. It ain't christmas until someone bruises!
 
LOL! Those are great.

find yourself practicing stances while standing in lines

I've done that on elevators and bathroom stalls at work:D

when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway, notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.

Haven't been caught yet

:D
 
LMAO thats me i do just about everything on that list lmao i even sleep with a katana on the floor next to my bed lmao ive done the whole measureing off thing for breaking stools and tables and chairs and wondering about what the walls are made of lol
 
Yeah, I qualify. But If I bowed before going into the bathroom I may not have to go in after the bow. :eek:
:flushed:

Take care :D
 
After you've been in a while try to go through Any door or enter any building with out bowing. Really want a test see if you can go to a school you are not know at and see if you bow autoaticly when you get to the door or when someone speaks to you.
Shadow
 
I bow as i walk past people at work to say hi instead of waving now, I just realized this a couple days ago when someone mentioned it. Its strange, It seems like yesterday i started with my first lesson, now im just a couple months away from my first anniversary in the arts.
 
Those hit too close to home...

:rofl:
 
Originally posted by Nate_Hoopes

I bow as i walk past people at work to say hi instead of waving now, I just realized this a couple days ago when someone mentioned it. Its strange, It seems like yesterday i started with my first lesson, now im just a couple months away from my first anniversary in the arts.

Happy Anniversary, Nate!!!! :cheers:

I actually had a woman at work ask me once, "what's with the bowing stuff?" To make it worse, I had to think about what she was talking about. :D

Take care
 
I have actually seen that list before, but I originally thought it was written about me, hehe.

It is scary how many of us are so similar in habits. Scary but nice.

--Dave

p.s. are you still off the smokes, Nate?

:asian:
 
OMG I am so glad to know I am not alone in continually quelling the compulsive urge to bow!
 
75% of those hit close to home. Especially daydreaming about how I would break the table.
 
How about praciticing your back fist every time one of your roommates walks by. They start to getting pretty ticked, even though you never actually hit 'em.
 
Ty, I get that same ticked reaction from my hubby, for some unknown reason! Apparently it looks really scary, but honestly I thought he would have got used to it by now! LOL :rofl:
 
I get annoyed when people find out I study martial arts and try to fool around with me...feeble little fake jabs and kicks at me and whatnot.

Not too long ago, a guy at work kept doing that...all damn day. I got a wee bit miffed, so I launched the fasted backfist I could and pulled it an inch from his nose. He almost peed himself.

He doesn't try to fool around with me much anymore.

Am I evil? Yes I am! :D

Cthulhu
 
:D lol i can sympathize with ya cthulhu had to do that on two different occasions while i was in high school... one was a close friend who kept messing with me so i used a simple wrist lock put him on his knees and said dont do it again needless to say he never messed with me again... the second was a guy that i had classes with he found out and wanted to see what i would do if he messed with me so one day i was going out to my car he stepped in front of me and pushed me back and happed to have a cigarete in his mouth so i did a hook kick and shot the cigarete across the parking lot and left him standing there mouth wide open along with his eyes and a noticable smell of urine that was my senior year i didnt have any problems out of anyone after that got around lol
 
So far I've been lucky no one at work messes with me they jus assume I'm dangerous:D
 
oh Fist of Fury, with a handle like that, you probably are! LMAO! :rofl:
 

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