Would you......

Manny

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Would you take your son/daughther to TKD classe to disciplinate him/her?

My wife has some problems with our daugther Ana because of the temper of the girl, Ana took 6 months of TKD and drop it because she got bored (her words) and because she does not like the discipline inside the dojang/TKD.

However Ana likes to seee martial arts movies like the karate kid saga end even Kung Fu Panda movie, she says she is tigress.

In more than one time I ask Ana if she wants to joing againg TKD and she refuses, but I think maybe TKD can make her a better child and to ease her temper and be patince and obey her mom.

What do you think? Should I take her againt her will to take TKD lessons? I think it could be benefical for my daugther.

Manny
 

jthomas1600

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I wouldn't take them to class to discipline them in the sense of "you've been a bad kid, get in the car we're going to TKD". However I do think it's a good way in general to instill discipline in their lives. Our school is one that has contracts and I've said on here before I see no problem with contracts if they are done right and in our case it has an added benefit. Two of my kids are full time in TKD and after the first month we explained the contract to them and said we would make the commitment to sign the contract if the would make the commitment to stick with it. They both agreed. They've taken it very seriously and I can see them becoming more disciplined in TKD and in life in general.

Hope that makes sense. Hope it helps.
 

dancingalone

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I started a thread in the karate forum not too long ago about forcing your kids to train. There were a lot of good responses. http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=85413

To recap my position, yes, you are the parent and if you believe this is best for your daughter, it's your duty to make it happen. Hopefully, I will not have to force my son to train. He's still too young for it, but he's a bit of a dojo brat, hanging around my wife's aikido school as well as my karate dojo as a pet of sorts. Hopefully, the idea of training eventually will be very natural to him.
 

granfire

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(oops, wrong would you)


anyhow, parenting is a crap should, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

To me it was easy, I started to assist in class, had no babysitter, so the kid had to come along, might as well train. And come to think of it, he did behave better when he trained, but he was also a lot younger, not in the ravenous teen years...

I think kids need to have a few 'must dos' in life.
In the olden days they had chores, what is left now? Kids get bored, watch TV - and lets face it, even in Disney shows the adults are the idiots, parents are to be walked over.

So maybe a couple of days a week of 'this is what we do' would not hurt. Also, kids to come up with creative ways to explain why they don't want to do anything, like 'being bored' when they realize something is very different from what they thought it would be. TKD takes a lot of effort, movies make it look so easy.

I don't think using any activity as punishment though, but there are ways. Like for example 'Mom has the evening off we are going to the Dojang, pack your bag'

Also, she has grown and matured physiacally a bit snce she dropped out, things might be easier for her now.
 
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StudentCarl

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I don't think she should have you as teacher. Mixing roles can be bad news. You are dad. I would even recommend getting her into a different art or a different school so the activity is hers.
 

granfire

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I don't think she should have you as teacher. Mixing roles can be bad news. You are dad. I would even recommend getting her into a different art or a different school so the activity is hers.

true! family members as teachers is an iffy matter.
 

Xue Sheng

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to learn discipline, absolutely.

Agreed...to learn yes.... but to discipline....no

There is a boy in my daughters TKD class that is...well... rather hyperactive and does not listen. He is taken there by his parents to teach him how to behave because they apparently cannot teach him how.

But here is the thing, he spends the entire class running around, not listening and basically being a distraction. And when he does well...how do his parents reward him....candy...GREAT idea since he is the poster child for hyper activity.... but I will say...the last class...he seemed to be turned down a couple of notches... because he was learning discipline from TKD. Of course in his case being turned down a couple notches is like going from warp 8 to warp 6... but it is an improvement.

You want to discipline your child... that is the parent’s job... not the TKD schools. You want them to learn discipline then a TKD school might help…. But then a gymnastics school might help too as well as soccer team or music lessons.
 

Tez3

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Agreed...to learn yes.... but to discipline....no

There is a boy in my daughters TKD class that is...well... rather hyperactive and does not listen. He is taken there by his parents to teach him how to behave because they apparently cannot teach him how.

But here is the thing, he spends the entire class running around, not listening and basically being a distraction. And when he does well...how do his parents reward him....candy...GREAT idea since he is the poster child for hyper activity.... but I will say...the last class...he seemed to be turned down a couple of notches... because he was learning discipline from TKD. Of course in his case being turned down a couple notches is like going from warp 8 to warp 6... but it is an improvement.

You want to discipline your child... that is the parent’s job... not the TKD schools. You want them to learn discipline then a TKD school might help…. But then a gymnastics school might help too as well as soccer team or music lessons.

QFT and wisdom. :asian:
 

Gemini

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I don't think she should have you as teacher. Mixing roles can be bad news. You are dad. I would even recommend getting her into a different art or a different school so the activity is hers.

true! family members as teachers is an iffy matter.

I don't think that's necessarily true in all cases, but I would tend to agree in this one. I've been teaching my kids for 4 years and it works because we're able to adhere to clearly defined roles. If you're unable to do so, let someone else be the teacher since you're pretty much commited to the dad role.

That said, if you do think you can do it, give it a try and let the results (not you opinion) define your level of success. If you don't see the results you're looking for, hand the reines over to someone else teach.
 

bluewaveschool

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When I returned to teaching back this spring, my little sister expressed interest in joining the class. She did so over the summer, and I think the class has been very good for her. It's also brought us a bit closer. She's 15, so it is a little easier for us than if she was 7 (minimum age for my class).
 

bluewaveschool

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Though I am wondering what is going to happen when my kids are old enough to join my class, how they are going to handle that. I do have plenty of other instructors in the class, though one of those is their grandfather. My daughter does tell me that she's going to join my class and beat up all the boys and girls. She's three, so I hope she outgrows that statement.
 

girlbug2

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My oldest child started EPAK when he was 6 years old because I wanted him to learn some SD, but in the process he learned a little about self-discipline, respect and seeing a committment through ( long contracts). It was a good thing for him and I'm forever grateful to his sensei.

However my younger boy is more of the hyperactive type, and when he joined a youth basketball league this year I was concerned about how he would behave. When one of the younger (actually teenage) coaches had to deal with his hyperactivity, for the most part they didn't know how to handle it and would resort to sending him on to the sidelines for a time out--lots of time outs. I could see it was frustrating for them, and I almost pulled him from basketball. But when Fall practices were about to start up, one of the other parents who had been observing the team told me not to worry, that the Fall lineup of coaches were much more experienced and had handled difficult kids before. Sure enough, his team's new coach was well-seasoned and simply knew how to get the best out of my boy. Not to say there havent' been occasional hyper times, but problems were resolved quickly and the coaches never gave up.

"What's the point?" you ask. Seek out a teacher that has more experience if you believe your daughter may be a particular challenge to handle. Ask other parents in the dojo how the instructors handle the "problem kids". The fact is, some teachers are just better at that kind of thing than others. It's to your benefit to seek them out.
 

granfire

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Though I am wondering what is going to happen when my kids are old enough to join my class, how they are going to handle that. I do have plenty of other instructors in the class, though one of those is their grandfather. My daughter does tell me that she's going to join my class and beat up all the boys and girls. She's three, so I hope she outgrows that statement.

LOL
I am assuming the other kids won't take the beating lying down! :laughing:
 

terryl965

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Manny remember you are the father and what you say go in your household, over the years I see too many parents trying to be there child best friend instead of a parent. If you want her there, then she needs to be there and when she is old enough to make those decission she can.
 

edudley

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Here is my take on it.

Several people have already made the point I'll make.

First, if you take her to TKD then they should be the instructor not you the parent. You pay them to teach your daughter, let them do what they are being paid for. I read that from a swim team coach that my daughter goes to to get ready for swim team.

Secondly, I would only take her to TKD if I had signed a long term contract and was paying for it. I personally would not take her to class to discipline her because she has a temper, she might become a distraction to the rest of the class. That could be an embarrassment to you and your daughter.

For example, when I was 11, I told my father I no longer wanted to play baseball. He told that is was fine he already paid for this season. So, after this season I could stop if I chose. FYI - I played until I was 19.

All of that being said, you da parent, you make da decisions till she moves out :)

Never easy is it :)
 

harlan

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My take:

My son was forced to take TKD even though he had no interest. Despite being talented, and achieving rank, my son quit as soon as he was on his own. It was 10 years of money and time wasted. Worse, the experience poisened his mind against ALL martial arts.

On the other hand, he begged to take violin while in grade school...even though I knew he would change his mind as soon as he realized it was work. We agreed that he would have to do it the entire year, and while he changed his mind within a few weeks I made him stick to the deal. After a year, the violin went back to the store, and he moved on to other things. Eventually, he picked up the guitar and has stuck with that on his own for years.
 

ralphmcpherson

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My daughter, aged 9, trains where I train. In the dojang I am not her father, I am just another student. She knows to treat me as she would any other black belt in the room, she may come and ask me to critique her form or ask for some advice with something, but even then I prefer her to ask another black belt. At home its a different story, we train together and I often ask her to do her form or show me a kick. From what Ive seen kids are creatures of habit, once something becomes routine they just do it without question. I usually notice that if a kid sticks it out for 18 months they will hang around for a long time, but if given the opportunity to quit early they will.
 

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