Why every martial art on earth will get you killed in self defencemy

[Headhunter]

Cause I watched some YouTube videos now I'm a 10th degree black belt in every style and my friends dads sons aunts moms sisters dog did martial arts and got beat up so that means martial arts is terrible and you will die a painful death if you do it.

But fear not my friends I have invented a brand new style which is the best thing ever and I will share for a small fee of 5000 pounds a week. A small price to pay for learning the only way to survive on this earth.

No need to thank me my friends it's the least I can do.

 

[pdg]

Ah, but I heard trying to use headhunter-do-jitsu will get you beaten or killed in self defence.

 

[Headhunter]

Ah, but I heard trying to use headhunter-do-jitsu will get you beaten or killed in self defence.

Probably but who cares just give me my damm money and I'll give you a cool looking certificate calling you a true badass. I'll even throw in a free Skype session for a personal message off me

 

[JR 137]

Finally gave up on the Kenpo crap, huh?

 

[pdg]

I'll even throw in a free Skype session for a personal message off me

I don't use Skype, some guy on YouTube said it'll get you beaten or killed in self defence...


Edit: he even showed a video of someone using something that looked a bit like A.I.M. which failed him, so proof innit.

 

[Headhunter]

Finally gave up on the Kenpo crap, huh?

A summary of my new found beliefs Your Art is Bullsh*t - YouTube

 

[wab25]

But again... will you give me a free lesson?

 

[Martial D]

Cause I watched some YouTube videos now I'm a 10th degree black belt in every style and my friends dads sons aunts moms sisters dog did martial arts and got beat up so that means martial arts is terrible and you will die a painful death if you do it.

But fear not my friends I have invented a brand new style which is the best thing ever and I will share for a small fee of 5000 pounds a week. A small price to pay for learning the only way to survive on this earth.

No need to thank me my friends it's the least I can do.

It's true. I watched one of your YouTube videos for 5000 pounds(adjusted for CAD) and tested it by sparring against my untrained grandmother.

And guess what, I won. Pure undeniable proof.

 

[pdg]

So, everyone round to headhunter's place for a free lesson with tea and biscuits?

I suppose I'll accept coffee and cake, but then I'll need 2 free lessons.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Ah, but I heard trying to use headhunter-do-jitsu will get you beaten or killed in self defence.

THat's a common misconception actually. Headhunter-do will get you beaten or killed in self defense. Headhunter-do-jitsu actually gets you both.

 

[pdg]

tested it by sparring against my untrained grandmother

We're going to need a "sparring story" video before it's admissable evidence.

 

[pdg]

THat's a common misconception actually. Headhunter-do will get you beaten or killed in self defense. Headhunter-do-jitsu actually gets you both.

Aw, I was hoping that wasn't true.

I don't mind getting beaten or killed, but both?

That'd ruin my cigarette break.

 

[Martial D]

Aw, I was hoping that wasn't true.

I don't mind getting beaten or killed, but both?

That'd ruin my cigarette break.

Killed, then beaten.

 

[pdg]

Like that time I got attacked by 6 gunmen armed with throwing chemicals, 3 hammers and 5 dogs.

They killed me 16 times but I still won.

 

[Martial D]

Like that time I got attacked by 6 gunmen armed with throwing chemicals, 3 hammers and 5 dogs.

They killed me 16 times but I still won.

But not beaten?

 

[Headhunter]

We're going to need a "sparring story" video before it's admissable evidence.

Sure. I have sparred with Bruce lee, ed Parker and hello Gracie and guess what....they are all now dead....there what more proof do people need now send me your cash and you get a free t shirt

 

[pdg]

But not beaten?

Definitely not beaten.

I used taekwon-do, which only gets you killed or beaten, not both.

Never both.

Demonstrates how incomplete it is...

 

[pdg]

Sure. I have sparred with Bruce lee, ed Parker and hello Gracie and guess what....they are all now dead....there what more proof do people need now send me your cash and you get a free t shirt

No video recounting the stories in a piece to camera = no real evidence.

 

[Martial D]

Definitely not beaten.

I used taekwon-do, which only gets you killed or beaten, not both.

Never both.

Demonstrates how incomplete it is...

You definitely need some modern self defense classes.

 

[pdg]

You definitely need some modern self defense classes.

Can I learn it online?

I'm scared to leave the house before becoming a self defence expert.