What I learned about love today

ballen0351

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I just got back from a funeral today. A woman from my church passed on last week. Mrs. Helen was born July 22, 1920. I didnt know her well only from seeing her and her husband at Church on Sundays. Ive only been attending the Church for about 3 years and during that time Ive had almost the exact same conversation with Mrs Helen every Sunday. She would smile at me and my kids and welcome us to the Church and ask if we were new. She would tell me how lovely my children were and then wink at me and say "your wifes a lucky woman." At that point her Husband John would always say Helen leave them be they were here last week. Mrs Helen has had pretty bad dementia for as long as Ive known them. I found out today during thr service that shes been that way for the better part of a decade.
Everyday John who is now 96 years old would get himself up and then take care of his wife. They were married for 64 years this year. Every Sunday they would arrive together arm in arm. Sit in same spot. He would help her stand and sit. He would quietly repeat instructions to her in her ear about what song we were singing or what the Pastor was saying. After the service he would walk her back to the refreshment area. Find her a seat and go off to get her a plate of food and a drink before going to serve himself. I never knew much about this couple but even then I thought it was sweet. You could see the love he had for her he would still look at her and smile even after all this time.
It was only today I learned that they still lived the home they bought over 30 years ago. They had no children and he had no help. He took care of her all by himself everyday keeping track of her medications and doctors appointments. They traveled the world together when they were younger and now were confined to the small little town we live in. I never once saw him complain or not have a smile on his face. This past Sunday was the first time we had church since Mrs Helen passed and John showed up like alway but this time alone and as we had our service he cried. Several of us did actually. It was a butter sweet day. Mrs Helen had passed on and a young 16 year old girl that was in serious car accident almost 8 months ago was finally released from a long term rehab center and attend our church that day for the first time.
The pastor today during the service repeated the traditional wedding vows of a promise to Love, Honor, cherish, thru sickness and health until death do them part. Well today I saw a Man that lived those vows to the fullest way possible. He said his only regret was that he would sometimes get frustrated with Helen during the later years in life because she could remember him or take care of herself anylonger. He said it sometimes seemed impossible to care for her but he said he had no choice.
When I sat there next to my wife I started to tear up not because I missed Mrs. Helen which of course I will but because I though of my only life and marriage and the mistakes I have made. I only hope from now on I can live up to the Standard that John has shown me.
Rest in Peace Mrs. Helen You and your Husband have shown me more then you will ever know.
 

Sukerkin

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Superb reminder to us all about what is important in our lives, Ballen. Thank you and I think I need to dust my computer room because something got in my eye whilst I was reading your post :eek:.
 

shesulsa

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I find many people lose sight of what is most important in life and this ... IS ... what is most important in life.

Thanks for the reminder!
 
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ballen0351

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After hearing the story of her life I only wish I was able to get to know her better to hear her stories. She worked for the FBI in the 50's the state department in the 60's as an intel analyst I only imagine she was one of a few woman at that time in that field. They both retired in the 70s and traveled to all 50 states, and most of Europe and South America. He spoke of how they would take trips and no matter where they went thry always had perfect weather. He said he has had a truly blessed life and hearing him speak about her and his life he truly has. I will not let the chance to know him better slip away. I know his time on earth is limited and I want to try to get to know him and his story and hopefully when his time comes I can up date this thread that they are no back together forever.
 

WC_lun

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Good on you Ballen. We should all be so lucky to know men and women like this couple and intelligent enough to take advantage of it.

Some of my favorite memories of my Grandparents were them sharing thier own memories. It made them more than the grandparents I knew. It made them into people that did some great and some not-so-great things in thier lives. They brought history and my forefathers alive.
 

Steve

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Sweet story. I'm coming up on 18 years married and can only hope my time with my wife is as long and joy filled as theirs, thanks for sharing.


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