Church Bloopers...

MA-Caver

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MT Mentor
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Snippets out of church bulletins. Some of these are a dilly...whoo! Wasn't ANYONE paying attention?? I mean BEFORE publication.

On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper at the end of the service.

Associate Pastor personal counseling and hands-on healing available by appt. Tuesday mornings after his wife leaves.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

SUNDAY SCHOOL 9:00 am to 9:45 am
Adults and children ages 4 to 12
Teens can get it at the Fellowship Hall

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

The Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community

Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

This evening there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10:00. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 p.m. Please use the back door.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
 
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