I wish to state at this time that I believe all of the claims made by all of these guys. Really. I do.
I, myself, am a 50th degree master (no, Grandmaster......NO, SOKE) of "Oh-shi". Okay, okay.....so the style consists of one defensive move, and one offensive move. However, they have been distilled down from centuries of tradition and combat tested techniques. Sure, all you other guys make claims about your techniques and lineages, but mine is best. Really.
I have a hand-signed certificate, written in the purest of ink from the temple of Oh-shi itself, hand-written on pure parchment, all done by the founder of the system. He was very old at the time, but the ceremony was phenominal. He signed my certificate, gave me the thumbs-up, and said, "You got it, Jack!".
No, I won't show you the certificate. The ink ran and smudged a bit when my puppy peed on it. I am having some of my current Oh-shi ninjas see if they can travel back in time to get the founder to make a copy for me. I will keep that one in better shape. *Then* I'll show you the certificate. Trust me.
Oh, yeah. And those Kumite guys? I've beaten them all. They just won't acknowledge that fact, since it would prove the validity of my claims of superiority.
As a matter of fact, a very little known fact, all other styles are derived from Oh-Shi. Even the ones that are not created yet. All styles. That's right. And no, you can't look it up. You have to take my word for it. I only state that historical fact here, because I trust the citizens of MT to guard that knowledge (or my ninjas will have to kill you). Even *joking* that you would print such things is courting death. Trust me. Death on swift wings. Bad stuff. Oh, and I'll sic the IRS after you, too.
Like I said, I trust and believe in the masters, as I am one of them. Superior to them all, but one of them nevertheless. I am the inspiration for Mr. Miyagi, the Ninja Turtles, Bruce Lee (you *did* know he was a fake, right?), and every ninja ever portrayed. I rule.
And then......I woke up. :rofl:
Okay, so.....for those who may have missed it......this is a JOKE.
I really *did* learn Oh-Shi, though. Here's how it goes:
1) Defensive move: Hold one hand vertically in front of the bridge of your nose, resting your thumb directly under the nose. Hold your other hand in front of your groin, cupping it and guarding it.
2) Offensive move: Use one hand to strike with a double eye poke, using the first two fingers to thrust into the eyes. With the other hand, strike with a straight punch to the groin.
Those are the basics of Oh-Shi. You are now all masters. Go forth and train hard; build on the system, using movement as you will......but keep the attack and defense pure.
Want a certificate? Let me know....I'll draw one in crayon for you. :rofl:
Sorry for the bandwidth....but I had to do it. The ninjas told me so.
Oh, yeah....did I mention that I worked at NinjaBurger? :rofl:
Peace--
