Sparring/Fighting Drunk

[elder999]

I have bitten my nails since I was 5. I wouldn't chide you for the one thing you chose to keep to remind you why self-control is important. Read that again, you chose to retain as a habit. And I no longer do it, because I also had the habit for another reason- conditioning. I have never had the nails to reinforce my fingers when grabbing, and have learned to compensate by attaining a stronger grip. Now that I have nails, I have found that improved vastly (remember, I have been doing rock-climbing, and bouldering since about 10) my grip. What you see as weakness, I saw as beneficial, and my finger strength shows for it. But think about it- For almost 2 decades I constantly ripped open the flesh and muscle whenever I felt nervous, which I'll be honest is often. What you see as proof of my inability, I've used to my advantage as a means to strengthen my fingers in a way they never could be.

Sure, it is questionable if that is smart. But my point is this- your response does nothin but reaffirm my own view, and the person above who spoke of how I am being lombasted. When your response to me questioning your input, because you correlate heroism with violence, is one which then personally targets me, and my own deficiencies, rather than address my point, it only detracts from yours.

If you would like, I can have a 6th, 7th, and 5th dan respectively give you an opinion on how your response looks. I take it you've never stuck your hand into something by mistake. I've also put pepper in my eye. We aren't at our brightest, when youngest.

To anyone else; I bit my nails. And? Rather than treat it as something debilitating I kept my habit and trained around it. I now, in hindsight that I've kicked it, can recognize its strengthened my fingers more than even jabbing techniques against stone has. So, it wasn't for nothing.

Trust me, I never hurt myself deliberately. I just at times haven't paid attention, and paid for it.

EDIT: The statement doesn't equate heroism with violence, but desperation.

1) IF you haven't done it since April 1st, it's only five days, and you haven't kicked it-or the use of intoxicants.

2) If you cut yourself "out of anxiety," it's not a "habit that you chose to keep," and it's not a reminder that self-control is important. It's an addictive behavior-an inappropriate repsonse to stress.

3) We have 5th, 6th, and 7th dans here, reading my response(s) and nodding. (Well, except maybe for the "Dragon ball-Z" crack in that other thread....but I couldn't resist...:lol: )

4) Since you've been rock-climbing and bouldering since you were 10, it's pretty clear that you're good at spraying, , but how about describing tying a prussic for us?

 

[Zenjael]

1) IF you haven't done it since April 1st, it's only five days, and you haven't kicked it-or the use of intoxicants.

Under your definition you will never kick something. Have you ever quit smoking? How about a substance where withdrawing lasts 3 months, turns you diabetic for the duration, and is a 1000x stronger than weed. Then talk to me about your thoughts on how to quit, because unlike you, I actually have counciled people on the matter, and through it, and ongoing. I know what it feels like to get over an addiction, as I have before, and I know a habit is fueled by the same desire, and unwillingness to alter oneself. I bit my nails for years out of rote, or when anxious. It was how, before I understood how to with martial arts, I dealt with anxiety at a young age. Addiction to anything, is something you do not deal with in a timescale greater than that day, one day at a time. The setting, and breaking of goals is probably the biggest thing through AA I have seen people slide back into where they came from.

Currently I have a friend who is trying to kick meth, and it is not fun being there for him sometimes. He has yet to understand addiction is not a disease, it is a choice in that we do not choose to give up our desire of that thing we want and change ourself (not our actions, but who we actually are). It is incredibly hard to do, specifically because we enjoy that thing, and the reasons we began it in the first place, but if you ever ask those who gave up a drug successfully, and continue to, they will answer honestly it is because they truly wanted to stop. When I kicked JWH back in December 23rd of 2010, I approached it as something I not only wanted to do, but had to as it was visibly killing me. I could no longer eat unless high, as the test chemical makes your body stop producing insulin. That was one condition which was reason to stop; my skin was turning yellow. No one really knows what a JWH withdrawal is like, and I say that having experienced one for over 3 weeks of absolute awfulness, as the drug itself is a recent creation in the last 30 years, and is called a 'test' chemical for a reason. but let's put it like this, when someone who's sat through heroine withdrawal gets impressed, you know you've dug your hole deep without realizing it.

At 7 I was diagnosed with ADHD and given ritalin, and at 7 I also tried to kill myself because of the wild mood swings the medication induced. I seriously hope everyone on this board who is speaking the way they have in the last few posts to sober up real quick on this matter- advising people to seek medical care is something you are not trained to do, and when on a board where even the lightest missworded comment can be offensive, you really need to rethink your words.

elder, has it ever occurred to you that maybe they are agreeing with you, not only because they know you, but also because that's what masters do? They understand how to accept alternate viewpoints, and reorient them with adding their own insight, without changing the other's. They know how to take viewpoints identical to theirs, and still improve on it, and agree with it. I think we all know that *nod* a master can give. I also know the raised eyebrows when asking a question the master knows you know the answer to, even if you don't. I can't speak on behalf of your teachers, but chances are good they know this also- martial arts begins and ends with respect, and while we may both have lost respect for each other in our exchanges, at least I am still willing to give you the respect I have been all along.

You teachers, in agreeing, do so to allow the student to make the choice necessary for how they will improve, and when, with the teacher, encouraging and pushing them forward, as is necessary for their training.

I didn't ask if you wanted the responses from your masters, I asked if you wanted the viewpoint from a group of people well established in the martial arts community over here in D.C., and in Okinawan Karate... the fact that your immediate response was to parrot out how your teachers agree with you does not change my point, nor the other's on here, that you are coming off even worse than I am to you, to people who aren't even connected to our conversation.

And I'll be honest, trying to convince someone by reitterating it repeatedly that they have a mental illness is what I would consider sick. Not mentally, but morally? Yeah, definately.

Because what if I am seeing a therapist? But you are someone who, from what I have witnessed, have tried to convince young people they are mentally ill (when they certifiably aren't), create strawman after strawman, and instead of thanking a person for humbling themself by admitting fault, you then use the very thing they just admitted as a weapon against them, when it was a handshake offered in peace. You've avoided anything I've posted on, especially in regards to how your actions, to you, matters in how you appear to others. Because I have had episodes of self-doubt where I would print particular responses or threads and sought the council of my teachers to understand and take another tact. But when both of our teachers are agreeing with their student... I don't care. Because I'm not going to assume my teachers will agree with me. I wouldn't dare disrespect them like that. I haven't and won't, I asked because clearly I am not very good at telling you to figure out how to rephrase what you say cause it comes off as much more churlish than anything I have said. Because the internet is forever. you do not know who will read this, or when, and who will walk away from our exchange going 'this is what martial arts can result in? F that'. I've seen it before just because of how much bowing is done.

I'm just saying, just because we disagree, does not mean either of us is insane, no matter how many people might concur with your opine. The funny thing is, you do not know how I kicked it, nor if it was even kicked at all. For all you know I've made the whole habit up. After all, I am a fraud apparently. Further, if you would like I have several friends in graduate school who would happily explain to you how there are a very large range of stress dealing habits people physically manifest when unable to mitigate it solely internally. If you ever bounce your foot or leg, run your hand through your hair, stick your hand down your pants (Yes, even that is considered within the range of normal) than you can certainly understand how mental instability refers to things such as skitzo, or if we generally pose a danger to ourselves. Given I've been made a head instructor across multiple schools, and styles, from different countries, tells me that it's either your opine, or if they agree, the truth. Do you really think that 4 different people, 3 of which had never met, and hailed from different countries and cultures themselves, were ALL wrong in their assessment of my character? Or would it perhaps stand to reason that I was accepted by schools specifically because of how they felt about me, as opposed to just openly accepting students. I have had a teacher approach me to ask if I would be interested in learning, a half hour after watching me lose in a fight, but watch me place out in colorado at a local event between schools he had gotten wind of, and I had too. It just occurred to me, but I am not certain why it is Master Khan who sent me the info on it, being as he was located in Burke, Virginia.

That being said, I clearly was biting them out of rote habit, and not stress, as I live a very good life. I know many people who at my age also bite their nails or chew on the skin around their cuticles. I tend to sit in the back of the classroom (I contribute, I just care about safety) and I saw several today doing the same as I did. When I was younger the habit was much, much worse, and as an adult, not even a mild inconvenience. And I choose to look back on the 20 years of having had a fault and habit, re-utilizing it as something positive, and which can help benefit me instead. In this case, I was clinging to an archaeic habit from my own past, for a reason I no longer felt, and hadn't for a long while. When I gave it up, I did so consciously, and I haven't looked back on it.

But, at this point I think you are just trying to instigate a flame war, so I will politely bow out so others can have their own share to say.

I have popcorn btw, to any who would like some. I've noticed in a number of threads others favor it also. Let me know if it's too dry and need to be buttered up, of course.

 

[K-man]

4) Since you've been rock-climbing and bouldering since you were 10, it's pretty clear that you're good at spraying, , but how about describing tying a prussic for us?

Could you be more specific? Did you mean the knot or the hitch?

 

[elder999]

Under your definition you will never kick something. Have you ever quit smoking? How about a substance where withdrawing lasts 3 months, turns you diabetic for the duration, and is a 1000x stronger than weed. Then talk to me about your thoughts on how to quit, because unlike you, I actually have counciled people on the matter, and through it, and ongoing. I know what it feels like to get over an addiction, as I have before, and I know a habit is fueled by the same desire, and unwillingness to alter oneself. I bit my nails for years out of rote, or when anxious. It was how, before I understood how to with martial arts, I dealt with anxiety at a young age.

Insert yawning smiley here.

Look, I know, you've had it tough. ADHD, ritalin, nail biting, and substance abuse. I've known heroin addicts-had them for students and coworkers-I've watched people kick substances, and I lost more than one person I cared about to their addiction.

Frankly, any addict in recovery is going to tell you just that: they never really kick it.

elder, has it ever occurred to you that maybe they are agreeing with you, not only because they know you, but also because that's what masters do? They understand how to accept alternate viewpoints, and reorient them with adding their own insight, without changing the other's. In doing so they allow them to make the choice necessary for how they will improve, and when, with the teacher, encouraging and pushing them forward, as is necessary for their training.

I didn't ask if you wanted the responses from your masters, I asked if you wanted the viewpoint from a group of people well established in the martial arts community over here in D.C., and in Okinawan Karate... the fact that your immediate response was to parrot out how your teachers agree with you does not change my point, nor the other's on here, that you are coming off even worse than I am to you, to people who aren't even connected to our conversation.

There are very few people on this board that have actually met me-some know who I am, or where I'm from, and some are my seniors in one way or another, but I don't have any teachers on this board that I know of-Shihan Rahming posted here a while back, but only briefly.

Because what if I am seeing a therapist?

Then you need to find another one, because their pyschotherapeutic approach-whatever it is- clearly isn't accomplishing much.

That individual is no martial artist worth respecting the word of, especially when he's a sadistic individual who from the intonation of your posts seems to actually enjoy saying the things you have been.

The truth can be hard, but, if your hair were on fire, and I couldn't throw you down and put it out myself, I'd tell you, repeatedly, that your hair was on fire, until you did something about it. And, dude?

Yer hair's on fire.

I'm just saying, just because we disagree, does not mean either of us is insane, no matter how many people might concur with your opine.

There goes that opine again.......

Funny thing: look at my profile. Look at my occupation. It says "mad scientist." I admit it: I'm insane!

Of course, unlike you, the government certified my sanity annually, in order for me to keep my job......

The funny thing is, you do not know how I kicked it, nor if it was even kicked at all.

"Since April 1st"-pretty clearly not kicked.

For all you know I've made the whole habit up.

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised at what you've made up-secret lineage kung fu masters, street fights against multiple opponents, falls from high places that you've miraculously survived, flying like Peter Pan.......

After all, I am a fraud apparently.

Of one sort or another-your video has kyu graded people shaking their heads and muttering, 3rd dan, huh?

All I really care about, at this point, and I'm still waiting, is you posting how to tie a prussic.

Could you be more specific? Did you mean the knot or the hitch?

Both. Or either. I was trying to be deliberately unspecific, so the "bouldering and rock climbing since I was 10," 3rd degree uberdan, special forces krav maga, super-secret baguaist, Okinawan karate adept, knife fighter extraordinaire, Frank Dux rapid puncher, captain safety could demonstrate his knowledge of something I'm known by a few here to know a little about...along with martial arts.....:lol:

 

[elder999]

Oh, and am I to understand that you were a student of Fazal Khan in Burke, Va? Fazal M. Khan, who closed his doors in 2006, made you one of the 80 students he promoted to 3rd dan-in your case, before the age of 16-is it that Master Khan? The same one who went back to the University of Maryland? 6th dan in Chung do kwan, Master Khan?

Should I email him, and find out what he has to say about your posts here? What, with your being a student of a Chinese martial art that no one on this board who practices Chinese martial arts has heard of, and some of them are actually, you know......(whispers) Chinese. Or all those street fights and muggings. What with the sparring with drunks. Oh, and that video-I wonder if he'll think of that video as representative of his 3rd dan, after the four hour test with broken-no, make that shattered ribs. :lol:

This Fazal M. Khan?

Maybe I should just call him.....

Seriously, Alex. Respect is earned, not just given freely-if I'm coming across as an asshat, it's because your posts merit it.

 

[K-man]

At 7 I was diagnosed with ADHD and given ritalin, and at 7 I also tried to kill myself because of the wild mood swings the medication induced. I seriously hope everyone on this board who is speaking the way they have in the last few posts to sober up real quick on this matter- advising people to seek medical care is something you are not trained to do, and when on a board where even the lightest missworded comment can be offensive, you really need to rethink your words.

And I'll be honest, trying to convince someone by reitterating it repeatedly that they have a mental illness is what I would consider sick. Not mentally, but morally? Yeah, definately.

That being said, I clearly was biting them out of rote habit, and not stress, as I live a very good life. I know many people who at my age also bite their nails or chew on the skin around their cuticles. I tend to sit in the back of the classroom (I contribute, I just care about safety) and I saw several today doing the same as I did. When I was younger the habit was much, much worse, and as an adult, not even a mild inconvenience. And I choose to look back on the 20 years of having had a fault and habit, re-utilizing it as something positive, and which can help benefit me instead. In this case, I was clinging to an archaeic habit from my own past, for a reason I no longer felt, and hadn't for a long while. When I gave it up, I did so consciously, and I haven't looked back on it.

​

I have stopped responding to Alex's posts as I believe this says it all. Over to you mods. Good luck.

 

[Zenjael]

I am going to bold the parts I think you will find most relevant, to make it faster for you.

Oh, and am I to understand that you were a student of Fazal Khan in Burke, Va? Fazal M. Khan, who closed his doors in 2006, made you one of the 80 students he promoted to 3rd dan-in your case, before the age of 16-is it that Master Khan? The same one who went back to the University of Maryland? 6th dan in Chung do kwan, Master Khan?

Woah, woah, woah. I have not received anything past 1st dan from Master Khan. And ITF, I finished the training he had begun at Mt. Kim's, where I taught as an instructor for a Mt. Kims. I have always reasoned, when desperate for money, that at least if I teach at a Mcdojo for TKD, I can try to gourmet it up with what Master Khan taught. Because here's the chilling thing, after I had returned, I began touring the area again and re-contacting the people I had trained with before Khan's, and at the school I had left for Khan's, out of disgust for the perceived inadequacy of my teacher then (only later would I come to understand that Taekyon kicks take decades to truly master, and as a result, most TKD look downright terrible until they hit 3rd or 4th dan. Either has been considered the level of a master, depending on the school, Kwan, and grandmaster. I found a student of Khan's however, while visiting my former teacher. I could not go back, because the sight repulsed, and I say it, horrified me that such a turn of events could transpire. It was, to me, as if I were watching what at the time was a nightmare to me occur upon another. But I will say this- though I hope he left, and sought another style of TKD or martial art, he was a shining gem compared to those around him, and he was widely regarded as one of the worst students M. Khan had produced as a black belt. It was not about rank between me and M. Khan, it was about learning the system as quickly, technically sound, as possible. He actually put me to the challenge of learning ITF in a week, and it was through that I learned just how good my memory was when able to learn 3 forms in one day, repeat them the next, and then learn another 4. In one fell swoop he instilled in me greater confidence, and opened my eyes to an ability I had already been utilizing, though not to that degree, which he decided to test. There are a rare few who can mimic perfectly, after watching just a few times. Someone I suspect might be better than I am, about 9 months ago when I returned to the NVCC MA club used a combination/technique I had designed, specifically because of the immense difficulty of getting around that from arm for me, when it jutted past the other. There really is no greater compliment than feeling someone use something you created against you, and it made me take a step back and re-study who I was sparring with, when it finally occurred to me that I recognized him because I had showed it specifically to him and one other, because he at the time was smaller than even I, younger, and a blue belt. I might argue now that the technique I showed him was too advanced, but then again, 3 years later he used the basic form effectively against me. So, perhaps he was ready.

Forms are easy to me because they follow specific patterns, and thus, very easy to predict. So far only shotokan forms have have followed a format and reliably thrown me off, and I believe it because of such similarity to chung do kwan that you want to perform that style, but are stuck using what I consider the far less versatile form of Shotokan which is lacking TKD kicks, any of the grabs, or sweeps M. Khan taught. The forms of Bagua and their palm changes throw me off, also. Same for Xing-yi.

I advise you do call Master Khan, though I cannot give you his number. I would also ask, politely, you remove his picture, not for my sake but his. I consider myself paranoid, but if I am, I'm at the foot marker, while he's at the height of the sun, and I would prefer my internet activity on a martial arts board not draw him in, or give any unwanted attention specifically because he is retired, and is hard to reach specifically so people don't bother him. I say Master before his name not only as a sign of respect, but because I am actively trying to make it difficult, but not impossible to reach him. I am curious if you did find his private contact info outside of facebook, but I imagine he won't respond to you on there much. I question if using his name on this forum was a mistake, if only because I'm not entirely sure what the level is he wants to be left alone and not have illwill or drama come directly his way. And I hate to add this and emphasize it, if anyone were to contact him from this forum, I would ask it be someone else. Feel free to ask your questions through their filter, but keeping in mind you consider me mentally unfit and unsound, I just don't trust any exchange between you and him, because you have come across to me as petty enough to go to that level, simply to exacerbate things here. I am not trying to place blame, just not trying to get my teacher heckled. I hope you understand.

That I am among the few he still speaks with is a sign to me how much he has enjoyed having me as a student. That being said, I do think he would make an exception, given that he and I still speak weekly. Perhaps I can convince him to come onto the board to write us a post. The insight a 6th dan from Chung Do Kwan can offer is excellent, and his degree of ability as a teacher is unparalleled. I say that having observed well over at least half a hundred schools between here and Rehobeth, and I have to say, at least on this coast, he is unparalleled. He also knew Master Murray, as well. He is currently writing a book, so who knows how long that could be. I will speak with him next week about it. Yes he closed in 2006, but the way you say it implies business failure, when in truth he was fed up with the landlord, and was beginning to crave moving on. His master retired at about the same rank (I cannot recall if he received his 7th before or after he closed his school) but I can tell you, based on the whiteboard he kept in the front, he never had over 20 third dans, and only 5 4th dans. I recall him having well over 100 black belts, and I believe it was over 200. And you know what's funny, every single one of them deserved that ranking. Every. That was what sold me; that at 3rd dan from a school of comparative skill level to others in the area, was not even equivalent to a 1st from his school.

I never reported my injury to M. Khan during the exam, and I would appreciate you not doing so either. I do not think he meant the exam to be pushed to that point, but while I would not fight back, I would not give up, and neither would he. The first dan format is intense, even without the sparring, but its sparring is what made the style really open my eyes, and I only saw it after I began there. You go one minute against one person (both of at least 1st dan class, from his school) and then a minute against two, then a minute against three, and a minute against 4. Because I entered the school from another, there was quite a bit of 'outsider' treatment I received. The kids class and its group were about 1.5 years my junior, and as in high school, I had little interest in chilling with Middle Schoolers, though ironically one from that class is now among my closest friends whom I see everyday. At the time however, just prior to my exam, those from the young advanced class began to get mouthy, implying things like I did not deserve my current rank and so on. Keep in mind I had not told those a Khan's school I was a 3rd dan. I actually intended on going to him and just forgetting what experience I had, had and just flat out restarting from flat. But when he heard about my past experience (Yes, surprise, surprise, I chose honesty with the person I respect most now, as opposed to deceit) he looked into it, and refused not to honor it. I think because he tested me, right then and there. He had no problem turning people away, and my willingness to follow what he said, combined with my humility, convinced him to accept me. I would like to think so, at least. He dealt with the kids in a rather amusing way, after I had asked another black belt if the younger black belt's sentiment reflect a general sentiment among his students toward me, and out of concern, they reported it to him. To my surprise that very day, ALL the kids get on their knuckles and crank push-ups while yelling at them about how when one receives a black belt, no matter where, it is to be honored, so that the standard never slips as it has for many other TKD styles... and the art isn't even old enough to be considered young and that had happened. I recall every kid who had mouthed off to approached me and apologized, not because he told them to. He didn't have to, they would have gotten a kicking from him if they hadn't. That kind of character was expected from everyone who wore a belt from him, as I expect them to. If you had a black belt from his school, you deserved, and had earned it. I cannot say the same from the school I had come from prior.

Tonight the same individual who during my dan exam at khans threw me on the ground, was assisting at the satellite school which opened and has conflict with their former teacher. As many have from his school, there was a falling out between M. Khan and a large number of students, mostly because they refused to respect his right to choose what he did with his art and school. If your master decides to close the doors, it's time, and probably for an MA to learn a new art, and give the practice of that system a break. Sometimes teachers need time before they are ready to teach again, and considering the success of his school was both a source of his pride, and ultimately the reason he was forced to retire. There are other details which make it more complex, but ultimately there are only a few of us know why specifically the school closed, and I am not intending to exacerbate any kind of exchange between those who are still upset about his decision to retire and close. He doesn't need that. I wish more had seen that, and even today people now and again in frustration will contact him to let him know how they feel. When the second person during my exam who I fought passed away (street racing, we're a ballsy bunch. Same individual attempted to stop the V-tech shooter when he assaulted their classroom, but the police forced him out of the room just as the gunman entered the police were also exiting through the window, so was relayed to me. I am sure details are off, and it has been years.) he could not even attend the funeral, due to concern his presence might cause drama at the graveside. Think about that, he was so beloved by his students, that when he opted to retire, some turned to hatred to deal with their sadness. I was in Colorado when the school abruptly closed, and I was crushed. I cried when I found out, honestly, and people I have seen conquer cinderblocks, I heard when all assembled, everyone did the same. I wish I could have been there, but it is something I was not meant to see, only to hear.w

When I saw Suki today, it was the first time in 5 years since he had passed the finished embroidered belt from Master Khan to me. This, interestingly, was presented to me at a school I was then applying to for a teaching position, which specialized in Moo Duk Kwan and WTF style. He gave me the belt, then threw me into the lobby of the school and proceeded to tear me up. The lobby torn up, they were t'd off, though since I hadn't initiated it, and was as bewildered as they, that I was allowed to leave before police arrived. It would only later become apparent to me as I gradually would run into those I had met before, that this was standard treatment among reuniting at M. Khans, and the longer before you touch fists, the harder you'll get hit also. I have been mugged, arguably, by more of his students than actually getting to experience the attacks in the street. I've been kicked completely at random... thrown, and so on, when we all run into each other, and it's great. Because I've learned also to return the favor when I recognize a fellow Khan's student (as we call ourselves) who hasn't seen me yet, because trust me, they will. We all walked away from M.Khan's with a bit of that paranoia rubbing off on us. I'd like to think that was deliberate, and has helped to make our lives safer.

But today, Suki was teaching, but would not say a word to me. That is how deep his anger toward his former teacher runs, or at least the hurt he feels does. I would like to say something to bridge it, but as I do not know what caused the falling out, I will not presume to offer my input until either informs me of it. However, despite the cold treatment (people from TKD who I had practiced with 3 years before, at least in the adult advanced class, approached me. At the end, when I had to leave, I bowed, low, as I would to M. Khan, though would not take my eyes of Suk until he acknowledged me. As I am reintegrating at that school to make sure my GF is taught Chung Do Kwan properly (she has a shotokan background) as she has, from what I've been told by her, decided to take a fellow person from the club up on their offer to have her join. I'll probably end up rejoining by May, and return to Chung Do Kwan again. I am also beginning to work with several 3rd dan's from his academy, to ensure I am still teaching the style correctly, as it was taught to me.

It's funny, last I was there several of the now 2nd dans had been blue belts when I left. The younger brother of the former head instructor whos parents owned the school had succeeded his brother. It was interesting to see how people had changed.

What is most important to me from what I learned from M. Khan, is that as the greatest teacher I have yet seen, his affirmation to allow me to teach on the level that few others did at his school was a sign of his respect not only for my background, but in me. He wouldn't have given me something I deserved, which is really a better saying to follow than anything else. He would not tarnish his own name and reputation to please another, or just be nice. We don't take our black belt, we are told to do by our teacher, and if we meet their standards, they allow us to have it, and it is a gift. Don't ever forget that, please. To be honest, since then, I have never questioned my ability to teach, though I have my actual technical ability. Doubt is humble, but to doubt your superiors when they have made up their mind is not. I do not doubt M. Khan like I do other teachers I have had.

Going into my exam I had a good idea it would be more intense than the others, but when I showed up and we had well over the amount who normally showed to support for the 1st dan, it occurred to me then that so many had come not just to support, but also support, and see if I was worth it. And he intended to give them a show, and re-watching the video, if you ever want to see me beaten to a pulp, it's there. I wish I had a video from our archive of it, but at about two minutes the now late Anapum strolls up and straight back punches me where the neck meets the skull. The fight, designed to last 4 minutes, instead dragged on to an excruciating 30 minutes. Alec is actually the individual who shattered my ribs, and is also who kicked me straight up in the ****-hole after they threw me. I think the first person I fought had a good idea of what I was due for (he went lighter than he could have... being a 3rd dan) and so constantly kept flipping me to the ground everytime I got surrounded. To be honest, he saved me from a lot of the damage I could have had, so I'll have to thank him again for that s'long as I'm thinking about it. I would not be surprised if there were hedged bets about how well I did. I am not a 3rd dan in Chung Do Kwan, I am a 3rd dan in Moo Duk Kwan, and Tang Soo Do, which are far different. Though I wish to deus I had gotten to keep practicing, actively under his tutelage.

As far as I have spoken with M. Khan, because of my respect for him and his style, I focus on that and that alone when around him. He is aware I have training elsewhere- he doesn't care. I recall asking once, upon seeing that they did a very different style kick why they didn't do one more akin to how I had practiced prior, Master Khan blinked and said simply, "Because it's not Chung do Kwan!". Since then it hasn't matter to me, as it hasn't mattered to the best teacher I have had, so I don't let it affect me either in his presence. Should he mind me training in other styles? I thought he would, until I mentioned I practiced Bagua while under his tutelage also, and he wasn't bothered. In retrospect, I recall him always inviting my father and I in to demonstrate kendo or kenjutsu, but the opportunity I believe only worked out once. then again, under the tutelage of Master Lee, he and all the inner cloister of their school took up learning ITF system of TKD from a worthwhile school which existed in the area.

You mention a good point about how respect is earned, not given. But that is a misnomer, as it neglects you do not get that respect until you are ready to. Even worse it neglects how true respect operates, in which people finally recognize you for who you have been all along, a re-alignment from their perceivement and because of it, they finally accept and uphold you. I am proud of my 1st dan from Khans, because I was annihilated during that exam having to 4 on 1 for over 20 minutes, against respectively some of the best fighters I have ever met. When I was done, I could barely stand, and I went to the hospital shortly after it finished. I received my belt, which also denoted me a head instructor at that school, whereby having learned the systems he taught, I was ready to teach his. I was already teaching well before then as an asst. instructor. normally each class would have him, a head instructor, and 2-3 asst. instructors. Whatever black belts were feeling lazy or were scheduled to come in that day, and had, but didn't really feel like working out. Since class sizes tended to range, at their smallest, to 20 heads, he needed the help so he could actually focus on the people who needed work the most. The reason he had me assist, for 4-5 hours before then taking the adult class later in the evening, was so that it might accelerate my ability in that art, because teaching focuses people to do better, for the sake of the people they are assisting.

I am not proud of my exam at khan's, because I could have done better, and more maturely at the time, in my opinion, and in hindsight. But I respect what he gave me, honor it, and appreciate the fact that after he passed me, I walked to each black belt, as was the custom, and shook each of their hands. I am curious, but how many came to your exam, not because they had to, but because it was one of those things the school, as a whole, had been waiting on? Only black belts were allowed to attend the BB exams, and you were required to warn your parents prior of the level of contact. A lot of mom's had to walk out because they couldn't watch their sons brutalized, though it normally was a lot more controlled than what I experienced, which may arguable have been more severe than even a 2nd dan would be put through. You will not hear me talk about how 3rd Dan operated, as that from what I have heard was just ridiculous in the level of contact. That was the exam where they attempted to hospitalize you, every chance they could. They ran me through the mill as one should a 2nd dan, and it is that which makes me feel I deserve the ranking of 1st dan I received. I have never worn the belt he gave me, save when I first received it, and I will not until either he re-opens his doors, or I open mine and he is interested in continuing teaching. For now, his insights in MA, life, and everything else are enough to keep me happy for now while I continue honing what I have learned. Though I have not gotten to see him in what is a hard to believe 6 years, if you ever look at my videos, the technique I display from a tournament I believe in 2008 was about where I was at the end of Master Khans, before I re-incorporated all the other styles I had learned into a more cohesive one, which drew from more elements. Effectively, once his doors closed, for about 3-4 years my Chung Do Kwan, while not ignored, did not progress. For example, I never performed Krav Maga, which I practiced with my madre's military unit when they would come over.

Ah, your post has made me so happy. I wish you well.



It was the adults I actually clicked with best at Khans, and hence why I am still in contact with so many today. I think you should, he might be interested, he might not be. He's not the type to care what his students do, so long as they are happy, and not causing trouble noticably.

 

[WC_lun]

Alex, there are people on these boards who have been studying martial arts for longer than you have been alive...in some cases, MUCH longer than you have been alive. Unfortunately, you are nothing that new or frankly, that unusual. We've seen and taught many young men like you before. You have consistantly asked advice about this or that, and that is admirable. Perhaps it is time that you start listening to what you have been told. So instead of firing off some long winded reply, go back and take a look at much of the advice that has been given you.

One of the most important skills a martial artist can possess is the ability to listen, especially when truth is so hard to hear.

 

[Chris Parker]

I am going to bold the parts I think you will find most relevant, to make it faster for you.



Woah, woah, woah. I have not received anything past 1st dan from Master Khan. And ITF, I finished the training he had begun at Mt. Kim's, where I taught as an instructor for a Mt. Kims. I have always reasoned, when desperate for money, that at least if I teach at a Mcdojo for TKD, I can try to gourmet it up with what Master Khan taught. Because here's the chilling thing, after I had returned, I began touring the area again and re-contacting the people I had trained with before Khan's, and at the school I had left for Khan's, out of disgust for the perceived inadequacy of my teacher then (only later would I come to understand that Taekyon kicks take decades to truly master, and as a result, most TKD look downright terrible until they hit 3rd or 4th dan. Either has been considered the level of a master, depending on the school, Kwan, and grandmaster. I found a student of Khan's however, while visiting my former teacher. I could not go back, because the sight repulsed, and I say it, horrified me that such a turn of events could transpire. It was, to me, as if I were watching what at the time was a nightmare to me occur upon another. But I will say this- though I hope he left, and sought another style of TKD or martial art, he was a shining gem compared to those around him, and he was widely regarded as one of the worst students M. Khan had produced as a black belt. It was not about rank between me and M. Khan, it was about learning the system as quickly, technically sound, as possible. He actually put me to the challenge of learning ITF in a week, and it was through that I learned just how good my memory was when able to learn 3 forms in one day, repeat them the next, and then learn another 4. In one fell swoop he instilled in me greater confidence, and opened my eyes to an ability I had already been utilizing, though not to that degree, which he decided to test. There are a rare few who can mimic perfectly, after watching just a few times. Someone I suspect might be better than I am, about 9 months ago when I returned to the NVCC MA club used a combination/technique I had designed, specifically because of the immense difficulty of getting around that from arm for me, when it jutted past the other. There really is no greater compliment than feeling someone use something you created against you, and it made me take a step back and re-study who I was sparring with, when it finally occurred to me that I recognized him because I had showed it specifically to him and one other, because he at the time was smaller than even I, younger, and a blue belt. I might argue now that the technique I showed him was too advanced, but then again, 3 years later he used the basic form effectively against me. So, perhaps he was ready.

Forms are easy to me because they follow specific patterns, and thus, very easy to predict. So far only shotokan forms have have followed a format and reliably thrown me off, and I believe it because of such similarity to chung do kwan that you want to perform that style, but are stuck using what I consider the far less versatile form of Shotokan which is lacking TKD kicks, any of the grabs, or sweeps M. Khan taught. The forms of Bagua and their palm changes throw me off, also. Same for Xing-yi.

I advise you do call Master Khan, though I cannot give you his number. I would also ask, politely, you remove his picture, not for my sake but his. I consider myself paranoid, but if I am, I'm at the foot marker, while he's at the height of the sun, and I would prefer my internet activity on a martial arts board not draw him in, or give any unwanted attention specifically because he is retired, and is hard to reach specifically so people don't bother him. I say Master before his name not only as a sign of respect, but because I am actively trying to make it difficult, but not impossible to reach him. I am curious if you did find his private contact info outside of facebook, but I imagine he won't respond to you on there much. I question if using his name on this forum was a mistake, if only because I'm not entirely sure what the level is he wants to be left alone and not have illwill or drama come directly his way. And I hate to add this and emphasize it, if anyone were to contact him from this forum, I would ask it be someone else. Feel free to ask your questions through their filter, but keeping in mind you consider me mentally unfit and unsound, I just don't trust any exchange between you and him, because you have come across to me as petty enough to go to that level, simply to exacerbate things here. I am not trying to place blame, just not trying to get my teacher heckled. I hope you understand.

That I am among the few he still speaks with is a sign to me how much he has enjoyed having me as a student. That being said, I do think he would make an exception, given that he and I still speak weekly. Perhaps I can convince him to come onto the board to write us a post. The insight a 6th dan from Chung Do Kwan can offer is excellent, and his degree of ability as a teacher is unparalleled. I say that having observed well over at least half a hundred schools between here and Rehobeth, and I have to say, at least on this coast, he is unparalleled. He also knew Master Murray, as well. He is currently writing a book, so who knows how long that could be. I will speak with him next week about it. Yes he closed in 2006, but the way you say it implies business failure, when in truth he was fed up with the landlord, and was beginning to crave moving on. His master retired at about the same rank (I cannot recall if he received his 7th before or after he closed his school) but I can tell you, based on the whiteboard he kept in the front, he never had over 20 third dans, and only 5 4th dans. I recall him having well over 100 black belts, and I believe it was over 200. And you know what's funny, every single one of them deserved that ranking. Every. That was what sold me; that at 3rd dan from a school of comparative skill level to others in the area, was not even equivalent to a 1st from his school.

I never reported my injury to M. Khan during the exam, and I would appreciate you not doing so either. I do not think he meant the exam to be pushed to that point, but while I would not fight back, I would not give up, and neither would he. The first dan format is intense, even without the sparring, but its sparring is what made the style really open my eyes, and I only saw it after I began there. You go one minute against one person (both of at least 1st dan class, from his school) and then a minute against two, then a minute against three, and a minute against 4. Because I entered the school from another, there was quite a bit of 'outsider' treatment I received. The kids class and its group were about 1.5 years my junior, and as in high school, I had little interest in chilling with Middle Schoolers, though ironically one from that class is now among my closest friends whom I see everyday. At the time however, just prior to my exam, those from the young advanced class began to get mouthy, implying things like I did not deserve my current rank and so on. Keep in mind I had not told those a Khan's school I was a 3rd dan. I actually intended on going to him and just forgetting what experience I had, had and just flat out restarting from flat. But when he heard about my past experience (Yes, surprise, surprise, I chose honesty with the person I respect most now, as opposed to deceit) he looked into it, and refused not to honor it. I think because he tested me, right then and there. He had no problem turning people away, and my willingness to follow what he said, combined with my humility, convinced him to accept me. I would like to think so, at least. He dealt with the kids in a rather amusing way, after I had asked another black belt if the younger black belt's sentiment reflect a general sentiment among his students toward me, and out of concern, they reported it to him. To my surprise that very day, ALL the kids get on their knuckles and crank push-ups while yelling at them about how when one receives a black belt, no matter where, it is to be honored, so that the standard never slips as it has for many other TKD styles... and the art isn't even old enough to be considered young and that had happened. I recall every kid who had mouthed off to approached me and apologized, not because he told them to. He didn't have to, they would have gotten a kicking from him if they hadn't. That kind of character was expected from everyone who wore a belt from him, as I expect them to. If you had a black belt from his school, you deserved, and had earned it. I cannot say the same from the school I had come from prior.

Tonight the same individual who during my dan exam at khans threw me on the ground, was assisting at the satellite school which opened and has conflict with their former teacher. As many have from his school, there was a falling out between M. Khan and a large number of students, mostly because they refused to respect his right to choose what he did with his art and school. If your master decides to close the doors, it's time, and probably for an MA to learn a new art, and give the practice of that system a break. Sometimes teachers need time before they are ready to teach again, and considering the success of his school was both a source of his pride, and ultimately the reason he was forced to retire. There are other details which make it more complex, but ultimately there are only a few of us know why specifically the school closed, and I am not intending to exacerbate any kind of exchange between those who are still upset about his decision to retire and close. He doesn't need that. I wish more had seen that, and even today people now and again in frustration will contact him to let him know how they feel. When the second person during my exam who I fought passed away (street racing, we're a ballsy bunch. Same individual attempted to stop the V-tech shooter when he assaulted their classroom, but the police forced him out of the room just as the gunman entered the police were also exiting through the window, so was relayed to me. I am sure details are off, and it has been years.) he could not even attend the funeral, due to concern his presence might cause drama at the graveside. Think about that, he was so beloved by his students, that when he opted to retire, some turned to hatred to deal with their sadness. I was in Colorado when the school abruptly closed, and I was crushed. I cried when I found out, honestly, and people I have seen conquer cinderblocks, I heard when all assembled, everyone did the same. I wish I could have been there, but it is something I was not meant to see, only to hear.w

When I saw Suki today, it was the first time in 5 years since he had passed the finished embroidered belt from Master Khan to me. This, interestingly, was presented to me at a school I was then applying to for a teaching position, which specialized in Moo Duk Kwan and WTF style. He gave me the belt, then threw me into the lobby of the school and proceeded to tear me up. The lobby torn up, they were t'd off, though since I hadn't initiated it, and was as bewildered as they, that I was allowed to leave before police arrived. It would only later become apparent to me as I gradually would run into those I had met before, that this was standard treatment among reuniting at M. Khans, and the longer before you touch fists, the harder you'll get hit also. I have been mugged, arguably, by more of his students than actually getting to experience the attacks in the street. I've been kicked completely at random... thrown, and so on, when we all run into each other, and it's great. Because I've learned also to return the favor when I recognize a fellow Khan's student (as we call ourselves) who hasn't seen me yet, because trust me, they will. We all walked away from M.Khan's with a bit of that paranoia rubbing off on us. I'd like to think that was deliberate, and has helped to make our lives safer.

But today, Suki was teaching, but would not say a word to me. That is how deep his anger toward his former teacher runs, or at least the hurt he feels does. I would like to say something to bridge it, but as I do not know what caused the falling out, I will not presume to offer my input until either informs me of it. However, despite the cold treatment (people from TKD who I had practiced with 3 years before, at least in the adult advanced class, approached me. At the end, when I had to leave, I bowed, low, as I would to M. Khan, though would not take my eyes of Suk until he acknowledged me. As I am reintegrating at that school to make sure my GF is taught Chung Do Kwan properly (she has a shotokan background) as she has, from what I've been told by her, decided to take a fellow person from the club up on their offer to have her join. I'll probably end up rejoining by May, and return to Chung Do Kwan again. I am also beginning to work with several 3rd dan's from his academy, to ensure I am still teaching the style correctly, as it was taught to me.

It's funny, last I was there several of the now 2nd dans had been blue belts when I left. The younger brother of the former head instructor whos parents owned the school had succeeded his brother. It was interesting to see how people had changed.

What is most important to me from what I learned from M. Khan, is that as the greatest teacher I have yet seen, his affirmation to allow me to teach on the level that few others did at his school was a sign of his respect not only for my background, but in me. He wouldn't have given me something I deserved, which is really a better saying to follow than anything else. He would not tarnish his own name and reputation to please another, or just be nice. We don't take our black belt, we are told to do by our teacher, and if we meet their standards, they allow us to have it, and it is a gift. Don't ever forget that, please. To be honest, since then, I have never questioned my ability to teach, though I have my actual technical ability. Doubt is humble, but to doubt your superiors when they have made up their mind is not. I do not doubt M. Khan like I do other teachers I have had.

Going into my exam I had a good idea it would be more intense than the others, but when I showed up and we had well over the amount who normally showed to support for the 1st dan, it occurred to me then that so many had come not just to support, but also support, and see if I was worth it. And he intended to give them a show, and re-watching the video, if you ever want to see me beaten to a pulp, it's there. I wish I had a video from our archive of it, but at about two minutes the now late Anapum strolls up and straight back punches me where the neck meets the skull. The fight, designed to last 4 minutes, instead dragged on to an excruciating 30 minutes. Alec is actually the individual who shattered my ribs, and is also who kicked me straight up in the ****-hole after they threw me. I think the first person I fought had a good idea of what I was due for (he went lighter than he could have... being a 3rd dan) and so constantly kept flipping me to the ground everytime I got surrounded. To be honest, he saved me from a lot of the damage I could have had, so I'll have to thank him again for that s'long as I'm thinking about it. I would not be surprised if there were hedged bets about how well I did. I am not a 3rd dan in Chung Do Kwan, I am a 3rd dan in Moo Duk Kwan, and Tang Soo Do, which are far different. Though I wish to deus I had gotten to keep practicing, actively under his tutelage.

As far as I have spoken with M. Khan, because of my respect for him and his style, I focus on that and that alone when around him. He is aware I have training elsewhere- he doesn't care. I recall asking once, upon seeing that they did a very different style kick why they didn't do one more akin to how I had practiced prior, Master Khan blinked and said simply, "Because it's not Chung do Kwan!". Since then it hasn't matter to me, as it hasn't mattered to the best teacher I have had, so I don't let it affect me either in his presence. Should he mind me training in other styles? I thought he would, until I mentioned I practiced Bagua while under his tutelage also, and he wasn't bothered. In retrospect, I recall him always inviting my father and I in to demonstrate kendo or kenjutsu, but the opportunity I believe only worked out once. then again, under the tutelage of Master Lee, he and all the inner cloister of their school took up learning ITF system of TKD from a worthwhile school which existed in the area.

You mention a good point about how respect is earned, not given. But that is a misnomer, as it neglects you do not get that respect until you are ready to. Even worse it neglects how true respect operates, in which people finally recognize you for who you have been all along, a re-alignment from their perceivement and because of it, they finally accept and uphold you. I am proud of my 1st dan from Khans, because I was annihilated during that exam having to 4 on 1 for over 20 minutes, against respectively some of the best fighters I have ever met. When I was done, I could barely stand, and I went to the hospital shortly after it finished. I received my belt, which also denoted me a head instructor at that school, whereby having learned the systems he taught, I was ready to teach his. I was already teaching well before then as an asst. instructor. normally each class would have him, a head instructor, and 2-3 asst. instructors. Whatever black belts were feeling lazy or were scheduled to come in that day, and had, but didn't really feel like working out. Since class sizes tended to range, at their smallest, to 20 heads, he needed the help so he could actually focus on the people who needed work the most. The reason he had me assist, for 4-5 hours before then taking the adult class later in the evening, was so that it might accelerate my ability in that art, because teaching focuses people to do better, for the sake of the people they are assisting.

I am not proud of my exam at khan's, because I could have done better, and more maturely at the time, in my opinion, and in hindsight. But I respect what he gave me, honor it, and appreciate the fact that after he passed me, I walked to each black belt, as was the custom, and shook each of their hands. I am curious, but how many came to your exam, not because they had to, but because it was one of those things the school, as a whole, had been waiting on? Only black belts were allowed to attend the BB exams, and you were required to warn your parents prior of the level of contact. A lot of mom's had to walk out because they couldn't watch their sons brutalized, though it normally was a lot more controlled than what I experienced, which may arguable have been more severe than even a 2nd dan would be put through. You will not hear me talk about how 3rd Dan operated, as that from what I have heard was just ridiculous in the level of contact. That was the exam where they attempted to hospitalize you, every chance they could. They ran me through the mill as one should a 2nd dan, and it is that which makes me feel I deserve the ranking of 1st dan I received. I have never worn the belt he gave me, save when I first received it, and I will not until either he re-opens his doors, or I open mine and he is interested in continuing teaching. For now, his insights in MA, life, and everything else are enough to keep me happy for now while I continue honing what I have learned. Though I have not gotten to see him in what is a hard to believe 6 years, if you ever look at my videos, the technique I display from a tournament I believe in 2008 was about where I was at the end of Master Khans, before I re-incorporated all the other styles I had learned into a more cohesive one, which drew from more elements. Effectively, once his doors closed, for about 3-4 years my Chung Do Kwan, while not ignored, did not progress. For example, I never performed Krav Maga, which I practiced with my madre's military unit when they would come over.

Ah, your post has made me so happy. I wish you well.



It was the adults I actually clicked with best at Khans, and hence why I am still in contact with so many today. I think you should, he might be interested, he might not be. He's not the type to care what his students do, so long as they are happy, and not causing trouble noticably.

Kid. Lose three quarters of what you post. Most of this has nothing to do with anything here. Half of it has no context (who on earth is "Suki"? There's no explanation, just an addition to the list that we didn't ask about...). Then there's the avoidance of basic questions. Oh, and I don't remember telling you how to do a kick (saw that in your earlier post as well).

And when it comes to not telling Khan about your injury (the "smashed ribs"?)? If you'd really had broken, fractured, injured, or "smashed" ribs, he'd have known. And you wouldn't have been standing, unless you were on something like Ice. For reference, here's what it sounds like when someone breaks a couple of ribs.... turn it up loud....

 

[Gnarlie]

Here's how to make a point succinctly.

I am going to bold the parts I think you will find most relevant, to make it faster for you.....

.....noticably.

 

[elder999]

 

[The Last Legionary]

Zenjael has not made any friends yet

I wonder why? You're getting trolled by an "Expert Attention Troll".

 

[Grenadier]

Under your definition you will never kick something. Have you ever quit smoking? How about a substance where withdrawing lasts 3 months, turns you diabetic for the duration, and is a 1000x stronger than weed. Then talk to me about your thoughts on how to quit, because unlike you, I actually have counciled people on the matter

And what makes *you* qualified to be someone who can counsel others? Do you have a degree in psychology? Do you have your licenses in order?

At 7 I was diagnosed with ADHD and given ritalin, and at 7 I also tried to kill myself because of the wild mood swings the medication induced. I seriously hope everyone on this board who is speaking the way they have in the last few posts to sober up real quick on this matter- advising people to seek medical care is something you are not trained to do, and when on a board where even the lightest missworded comment can be offensive, you really need to rethink your words.

Again, what are your qualifications to tell us that our urging others to seek professional help is something we're not trained to do? If I see someone who is being rather irrational, what makes you think that it's not within my capabilities to suggest that they find professional help?

On another note, many of us here have PhD's, MD's, and / or many years of experience dealing with people, and many more decades of training and teaching in the martial arts. What makes you think that we're not qualified?

I think we all know that *nod* a master can give.

This isn't an insult, but a very, very blunt statement. You are not a master. You've dabbled in several kinds of martial arts, learning bits and pieces from each, and have attempted to combine what you think you know, into your "own" system.

That being said, I clearly was biting them out of rote habit, and not stress, as I live a very good life. I know many people who at my age also bite their nails or chew on the skin around their cuticles.

So, get them jobs in the Augean horse stables...

 

[MJS]

Thank you for mentioning this. I have read this entire thread, and can't believe how people are acting towards him. Yes, he was being stupid, he already admitted that. Yes, he's a bit arrogant, but hes 22 and has practiced martial arts for over a decade, I'm sure any of you who did that were also arrogant, and its not necessarily a bad thing. Help him out, chastise him a bit but don't ridicule him! And don't pick apart what he wrote just because it isn't the most coherent thing ever. It's pretty easy to get what he's trying to say, so just leave it be. By doing things like this, you're basically cyber bullying him and giving a bad name to martial artists everywhere! Ordinarily, i don't post on here, but the way you guys are acting towards him is just so unbelievable i had to. I still can't believe you would act this way towards a martial artist who is still maturing. Remember what you were like then and just cut the **** already

I suggest that you go back and read every thread/post that he's been in, as well as the advice that others, including myself, have given him. Sorry, I've trained in the arts for over 20yrs, and I don't profess to know it all or be the expert that young Alex does. Speaking for myself only here, however, I'm sure others use the same line of thinking...but when someone asks a question or they're looking for advice, I tend to now give it in a stairght forward approach. Why BS someone or sugar coat something? I think in many cases, the issue lies in someone asking a question, looking for a specific answer. People give answers, but they're not the ones the OP was asking for, thus the OP gets pissed and tries to counter everything that was said. THAT is the case with Alex.

Second, don't let his martial arts training 'history' fool you. For someone who claims all he does, one would literally have to do nothing but train, all the time. No, what Alex does, is dabbles. He spends some time here, then leaves. Spends time at another school, then leaves. Alex thinks that you can learn it all in a short amount of time...you can't. Furthermore, he tends to sidetrack every thread with comments about how good he is. Why?

 

[Zenjael]

Look, I know, you've had it tough. ADHD, ritalin, nail biting, and substance abuse. I've known heroin addicts-had them for students and coworkers-I've watched people kick substances, and I lost more than one person I cared about to their addiction.

Frankly, any addict in recovery is going to tell you just that: they never really kick it.

My apologies for misunderstanding you then, I had thought you meant it in a different sense. I am not sure I concur with that, though. I was very addicted to the drug, to the point I was beginning to have the onset of internal organ failure. It's not that I think I had it rough- this is a rough area, and a lot of people everywhere have had it a lot worse than a white middle-class suburban kid. But I recall meeting a former herione addict who counsiled other people in the NA meetings he hosted out in Annandale. He kicked the drug in one night, without any relapse, after 25 years of usage. He's either incredibly strong-willed, or he's lying. I'd like to think it's the former, as I've witnessed him having helped a number of people kick their intoxicant habit.

My life has not been hard. Complicated, at times, but not difficult. To say so would be dishonest, for I had a family who could put food on my table, and let me train where I chose. You don't get a better childhood than that, I'd say. My muggings were not life-threatening. Yes, I have stopped an attempted robbery, and last night, a fight at 2:30 AM by a bunch of drunk ghetto arses starting crap with each other, at that same 7-11, across the street from the police station which covers our area in fairfax. It's kinda like... yeah, I've done some things... but so have you, and mitigating any crime, when it's across the street from the police station, is not hard. It's just... life, at this point.

Then you need to find another one, because their pyschotherapeutic approach-whatever it is- clearly isn't accomplishing much.

Eh? I'd rather go to class than waste money on a person I can speak to for free at my campus. It is GMU, we have an excellent psychology department, which is actually helping me presently with the issue of honor as an emotion.

The truth can be hard, but, if your hair were on fire, and I couldn't throw you down and put it out myself, I'd tell you, repeatedly, that your hair was on fire, until you did something about it. And, dude?

Alas, the example would be a lot more poignant if we were in person, and you were making that point. I tend to put my hand an inch from the person's face to let them know they need to work on their guard, if it does. I'm not a big fan of the generic fighting stance. If they don't get the point, I touch their, nose then forehead, and if I have to, then the other vitals. I do not aim for those with kicks however.

However, we aren't, so...

There goes that opine again.......

Funny thing: look at my profile. Look at my occupation. It says "mad scientist." I admit it: I'm insane!

Of course, unlike you, the government certified my sanity annually, in order for me to keep my job......

That's pretty straight. I am unsure as to whether I would like to work in the govt. later in life once I have earned my conflict resolution masters; I may try to orient it toward working for the military as a consultant. We'll see where life takes me... for all we know the minute I get to afghan friendly fire could get me.

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised at what you've made up-secret lineage kung fu masters, street fights against multiple opponents, falls from high places that you've miraculously survived, flying like Peter Pan.......

Eh? Nope. Almost got hit by a train once. Met a guy once who got shanked in the neck down in Richmond at VCU, scar was something fierce looking. I haven't had any near death experiences frankly, that I'm aware of outside the freak one you notice only in hindsight. I do stupid things, but not retarded. I've never fallen like that, as far as I'm concerned, never seriously injured myself past rib fractures, which kept me from being able to kick for half a week. I have had 0 training injuries apart from an occasional jammed finger. Such is the life of a person using open hand. Sorry to dissapoint; no secret shaolin or ninja masters, no secret arts. I'd prefer to say I made up the muggings and they never happened and I plain suck at MA... but I have no reason to lie to my teachers as I have nothing, because I can prove nothing online.

"Kid. Lose three quarters of what you post. Most of this has nothing to do with anything here. Half of it has no context (who on earth is "Suki"? There's no explanation, just an addition to the list that we didn't ask about...). Then there's the avoidance of basic questions. Oh, and I don't remember telling you how to do a kick (saw that in your earlier post as well).

All I really care about, at this point, and I'm still waiting, is you posting how to tie a prussic.

When you can spell it correctly, I'll be happy to answer. Further, I've also gone hang-gliding, sailing, Kayaking, Canoeing, rock-climbing, snowboarding and ziplining. I am happy to climb anything because this helps builds the finger strength I was lacking do to the nail-biting habit. Not having them means that I have to go back and re-learn all the holds I knew because the nail itself is causing me to lose grip now. Just did a pressure grab where the nail is impeding it. Oh well, it'll take some getting used to I suppose... I stopped briefly a decade ago and hated what it did for my sense of gripping, but since I'm prepared for it now, it's more tolerable.

I'm not sure why anyone is complaining about length... no one forces you to read these.

Alex, there are people on these boards who have been studying martial arts for longer than you have been alive...in some cases, MUCH longer than you have been alive. Unfortunately, you are nothing that new or frankly, that unusual. We've seen and taught many young men like you before. You have consistantly asked advice about this or that, and that is admirable. Perhaps it is time that you start listening to what you have been told. So instead of firing off some long winded reply, go back and take a look at much of the advice that has been given you.

One of the most important skills a martial artist can possess is the ability to listen, especially when truth is so hard to hear.

You are right Wc, there are, but few deign to take the time to actually speak with me, and most who are jumping down my throat, have not been practicing as long as I have. That doesn't discredit their input, but it does make me observe it more carefully. In person, as a teacher, in all likelihood you are incredibly polite, and understanding. Being screens apart have a way of causing a breakdown between how we identify each other. If I asked probably a good number of the people I have trained with, if I should judge a person based upon their words. I would say... no. It makes no difference either way, if I did listen to only their words. In the end, Time=/=insight to an art. It is relevant to experience, causually. As all have heard repeatedly on this forum, just because I've done MA for almost 20 years doesn't mean anything, and you know what? I agree completely.

Maybe you should listen to some of the things being said to me, put on my sandals, and ask yourself if you really should take the advice of random heads online offering clinical evaluations... on an MA site, for what, 3 pages now? Because when you consider that, there's no way I can follow your advice on that mate. You know who I have listened to tho? People who are being reasonable in their responses, and seeking to be condusive. You, Jenna, Cyrianus, Oaktree. There are a lot of people who's input Ive even saved to a folder because I thought their insight good. Most replying at this point aren't like that, though, and don't care to be.

Chris, the breaking of my rib cage was started when Alec heel-kicked me. As I was continuously thrown, and beat upon by 4 people, the injury was exacerbated. They're ribs, they heel, and chances are it only happened because of how many kicks were hitting, and rocking me. Or perhaps I was moved into it by accident. No one at Khan's would break anything uot of deliberation, that is just not the kind of student he taught, and by that point those kind had been banned. I was lucky and the broke from the middle, down, and then up, so it only became painful to breathe around the time all you had to do was listen and talk. I'm not complaining, a lot of people have broken ribs, or the entire cage from kicks and it being too rough. They didn't complain, I won't either. I didn't wimper in pain, and considering a strike was probably landing every half second from somebody there, any grunts from the pain, or responses, would not have been heard over the whack of leather, their grunts also as they struck me, in addition to the snap of our heavy gi's and general commotion. Master Khan almost never stepped into a fight, he trusted his students to know when to stop. It was an accident that it happened, just like when I had my bum stomped on during the exam. It wouldn't surprise me if M. Khan knew, but it wasn't something I spoke about to anyone until I was at TKD and comfortable I was well outside the ear-shot of my master. Which was 2 years after my exam, and Khan's had closed. Even talking about it here... seems kinda offish. Meh.

My father is a doctor, and set the ribs himself. So no need for a bill or raised insurance either. When at Mt. Kims I received 3 deliberate front kicks to the groin... I went to him first, not the hospital from a muai thai practitioner.

Most of my long replies are actually multiple replies, to multiple people at once. Because I don't have the time to sit at a computer and literally constantly defend myself from people on here, which I am having to do now just so I can make sure the mods get that photo removed.

 

[MJS]

Today I spoke with my teacher, Master Khan, and asked him honestly if there was anything I could do to improve my humility. He was surprised by the question and told me that the entire reason he had accepted me as a student, despite coming from another school, was because of how I asked. That I did not come before him, with my 3rd dan, as a 3rd dan. I came as any other student when first starting, and even gave up a martial art I had practiced my entire life so I could better learn, and retain chung do kwan. And once I did, I returned to my former style, and found its kicks vastly complementative toward chung do kwan and the other arts I have practiced. I have found, on here, in life, sometimes we act in ways, or phrase things in such a fashion without realizing it, and I am certain I am guilty of this. Martial artists are a passionate people by their innate nature, and as such, one can easily get burned by fire. They are both analytical, and critical, which can be a stinging combination when combined in regards to teaching. It is easier to bruise someone's feelings I have found in the art, and repair them by ritually humbling oneself by bowing or apologizing, or stating one's own inadequacies, than it is in actuality to bruise someone.

This sensitivity protects the arts from blurring together into one big mesh, as could easily occur down the road. While I encourage mixing of martial arts, I only do so if the person can still differentiate between the two arts, where they are coming from, and that they actually know and understand the art enough to use it, either in sparring or self-defense.

I do not mind their negative criticisms as much as I did. When joining the boards the colors and symbols assigned to accounts were very misleading as they often denoted rank where it is not appropriate. I heard my 6th dan teacher give one of his long exhales when I mentioned there are people sporting the title-grandmaster as an identifiable part of who they are on the board. He had a good response for me, and it in many ways clears up why the response to me, here, has been so different from the actual experiences I have had as a martial artist, in person.

A person who is truly confidant, but has no provable way to back up their claims, will always come off as arrogant. Because I have no way to back these claims up, and because I am not perfect, or Bruce Lee, or famous, or a mod, people can easily pick at what I am doing wrong, without even having to know themselves what is proper in regards to the techniques being criticized. While many on this board would like to think what they have told me in how to improve is constructive criticism, it is solely just the latter. Explaining the mechanics of a technique is not teaching me how to rectify my error, which while assumed, could be very real. Chris Parker offered a decent explanation for how to improve a kick I have... which was identical to how my first teacher explained it, who I eventually left for being a poor teacher. That has nothing to do with Chris, save that he assumed his instructing of the method to kick would rectify my error. You can get that from a book, a brochure even, and especially google. That is not a teacher. Chris did not ask if I had a prior injury, nor did he even inquire what style of push-kick I was attempting to do. Was it TKD's, or Karate? If either, which style is it then? This is incredibly relevant toward learning an art. The fact such information was never sought shows less Chris' intent to help me actually improve, and moreso to prove his own ability, or at least tear mine down publicly. Hence why I often ignore his posts, though try to respond. The are couched in words which say they are trying to help me, while the words themselves tailored to tear as much up as possible. The problem is, when people who are much more experienced than them have offered actually constructive insight to how I might improve, in a way I can, I have no reason to pay the negative comments from people like Chris any mind. If I do, it only validates them, and even worse, as you have pointed out my name IS on the line. This is my profession, and this forum has heart me financially. Because of it in large part I no longer work for Kaizen, though the split was a mutual decision. Driving half a state away for a school I respected less than the one I left Khan's for never jived right with me, I just really enjoyed teaching, and as a student it afforded me that opportunity.

But martial arts is not my career- and anyone who makes it theirs is sick in my mind to take something which is pure, untainted until we put our own spins and biases on it, as a means to profit. I have never charged more than $30 for any lesson of mine, and no matter what private I have held, or class, I always let people who wanted to try it out, to join in. I charged money, not because I wanted to buy a new belt (though I would like to) but because I need to eat, and I hardly do as is on the pay of someone who is 22 and currently non-employed as a full-time student. You don't eat, you can't train, the way I see it.

I have noticed a few things from this forum, and it has occurred to me since day 1 that considering I chose this board for it being among the largest, it is also among the most seen. This does not mean it is the most influential however, to people who truly live and breath the art. But to people who are not martial artists, people who might agree with me, or even with aspects of what I have said, the behavior of those toward the differing view does not advocate any kind of 'correctness' in martial arts- it just shows one group accusing one person of arrogance, without realizing that their accusation in the first place is far more arrogant than anything the other has actually said. It takes real bravery to stand up to multiple confident people online, when it seems like so many have reached a consensus already. As you have done, as Jenna have done. You are the kind of martial artists, like Oaktree, I was hoping to find here. People like you, and me, are the type who value martial arts as above being just a system of fighting, it is a very way of thought and living.

Most of the people who have spoken with me on the boards, while civil, have not been kind. I do not think how I say things actually comes off well here, only that I sincerely believe them, which either means they do not understand what I am trying to say, . When I am better able to say it, I will be ready to, I suppose. I am 22, they do not have to listen to me, no one does. When I am older, and if people seek out my opinion, I will always be happy to give it. They do not recognize that by constantly agressively criticising me, and by not responding, it is no longer me who is getting attacked, it is themselves at that point as they reveal themselves for who they actually are.

What is mistaken for arrogance is very badly expressed confidance. Trust me, I do not think myself great. But I do know who I am, and what I can do, and what my teacher's standards still are. When I have been brutalized in the name of not only my master, but my very belt, it becomes more than a belt, but your identity, and the belt itself loses its significance, because at Khans you hadn't been given a belt, as many martial artists are today, especially in the states. You had received an initiation for life, and the people from our school are bowed to because we are known in this area as being notable fighters. But we also bow to each other, because we understand that the teacher we shared under Chung Do Kwan, in burke, had more depth than most artists will experience. It was what drew me to the school over and over, and believe me, I checked out well over 20 schools before making the change. And once I had, I commited and never backed down. From 4:00 PM I would show up, before the school opened, and help Master Khan clean it. Sometimes there were others to speak with him, or do the same. We were never asked, it was voluntary, and I don't think I've ever been as greatful to scrub a toilet. Not because I have some kind of veneration for him- I have seen crap, and I have seen gold, and he was platinum in a field of dog turds, and still is.

You do not, and will not see me stating I am better than anyone on here, merely my own responses to their replies on how they might do a certain thing against what I had done from an earlier post. For me to do so is an abhorrant behavior on my part, because I frankly don't want to come off unbecoming on behalf of my own teachers. I think many forget that what they read reflects not only on them, their style, and martial arts as a whole, but their teachers. I have written a lot I haven't, my hand stayed by asking if what I had written, You do not see me questioning the background of anyone's teacher, nor their employ, or their style. I did not think to do of such a thing, firstly because I had been taught that such audacity might actually end up with them proving it on you, and further, that there are more styles we haven't heard of, than currently exist in the entire world. The fact that other artists here cannot see the humility in me not trying to test their mettle, because of own fallibilities and disinterest in conflict, tells me moreso that the people who are responding in such fashion do so for their own selfish reasons. Keep in mind it is rarely my words themselves which offer offense, but more likely what I am perceived as saying... which isn't the same thing.

I am hopeful that what I do, not what I say will set an example at this point for other people. Let them destroy you, or try to, even when they don't mean to or realize they are, for it is only when you embrace your flaws can you then let them go, and improve. It is only when you confront their intention will you find yours eventually able to withstand.

As near as I can tell



Anytime intoxicants are involved, there is a wild card. That wild card instantly takes the severity from anything intended to be playful, and ups it by several magnitudes. For someone who is cognizant, and practiced, trust me when I say I went into the situation prepared to go to the hospital, and did everything in my ability to make that happen. When he began to up the ante, I did not respond. I went downstairs and smoked some hookah, watched Avatar, and wrote the post.

I mean, if it was just sparring, or play, do you really think this conversation would go on so long, and people below my rank would call me an idiot? It's helpful that I called myself one too, and I was aware of the fact. But when you act stupidly, deliberately, there might... just... be that alterior motive. Who are you to assume what was mine? Maybe I just really wanted to fight a drunk. Or maybe the conversation here sparked self-doubt in my ability. Who knows, who cares. A drunk hit me after 3 rounds, I never hit him once. Nor did I ever throw a strike, to be honest. I let him have his fun, and when he began to at my expense, I moved on. A small cut and minor swelling on the lip is far less than I've received before, and far less than I am owed my own fair share and due.



I concur. The stories which conflict are because, in part I am both active, but also because for a historian I am remarkably bad at keeping track of the dates I do my own things. By my own accord I threw away the box containing my 3rd dan from WTF TKD, and while most might see it stupid- I do not need a piece of paper to prove who I am, and what others have honored years before. By my own accord I started between 2-4, if you want to be really technical. I prefer to say 4, since that's when they cut the lil-dragon kind of crap you see today which is like pre-skool for martial arts. More shill, more bull, and ultimately, just a day-care with people advertising themselves as some kind of uber-warrior.

And... there's a lot I've forgotten, too. The bulk of most people's training occurs during the period of their life between 10-30, and it is these 20 formative years which oft prove the most influential, just as our earliest years and starting point, affected everything else which came after. My first 20 years of training occurred between 4-22, well before the range of what most people remember. This does not mean I've forgotten in the traditional sense however, it means I have done as all people do with their childhoods; I incorporated the memories I had 'forgotten' into who I am. Memories are chemical information we take on to make sure we don't forget to include this or that in our experience of existing; our youngest, most formitive memories should not be remembered, they should be included most as to who we are today, so we never lose that foundation which is what makes us who we are. The first 10 years of martial arts for me was my childhood, and I learned WTF TKD. I was not a great student, but I learned to become one to respect, on my own, without any teacher. That is why when I finally found a teacher who I could respectfully refer to as that, he saw that in me. Anyone who meets me will see why they will respect me, not why they should. Those years were incredibly formative, and could have been moreso elsewhere in all likelihood.

Though I don't disagree that he should be given the attention he deserves ... little.

I think anybody, no matter what they have to offer, if their presence or demeaner causes problems should be ignored. I do not think anything I have said, however, warrants the reaction I've received here. This does not mean they should leave, or they cannot change. But it does mean that the more people provoke them to reply, they will, and the circle will continue. If it really is the fact I am unable to do martial arts as I claim, what then it the benefit toward repeating it like mantra, everytime I speak? It becomes churlish after awhile. It reminds me of when I was between the ages of 6-12 when I was bullied a lot. I was small then, as I am now. I learned, in time, that if you just let go of what they are saying to hurt you, not because they are wrong, but because you can always improve, it casts what they are trying to convey in a different light completely. That's what intentions can do, when they are viewed by someone other than person doing the intending. I do not think most on here have considered, as you have, how they have come across to others. I do not think they care, if this were my career, that it could be effectively ended. Certainly the mod's behavior of removing any reputation I receive is rather indicatory that there is no way to raise my 'reputation'... on the largest martial arts forum on earth. I swear I watch in either the morning or night, I will get

The simple fact any contention from a disagreement probably warrants I be given attention on these boards by those who actually care to give it to me. To be honest, the cruelty of others is still justification of oneself. Imagine if you were in my shoes, how this has appeared from my pov. Do I think they are humiliating me? Perhaps, if this forum were the end all of martial arts and the career. If my name was one tied solely to martial arts, and if I really didn't have varifiable ability, I might actually be bothered by the negative comments. But to be honest, their responses have revealed to me people I consider martial artists from the rest. Some are good, some are bad, but it is their attitude which is what tells me that the others should be spending less time detrimenting my comments, and speaking with people such as Cyrianus, Jenna or Oaktree, who have given me the time of day.

To K-man, though you may have such a personal bias, I hope it doesn't make conversation impossible. There are many martial artists I have called brother or sister, despite how little I liked them, approved of their attitude, or ability. A forum is about that discussion; about having the freedom to disagree. To be honest, it hasn't occurred to you that the philosophy of martial arts I hold is one very common to this area. Maybe it is even a unique feature, I have never actually dived into that kind of philosophical consideration within martial arts with anyone not from the east coast, so perhaps it is a regional difference.

The drivel I post might be such to you, but your methods of varification of my ability, and background, is to frankly just net-negative reply to virtually everything I say. None of you have trained with me, and rather than actually go at length to obtain the information, a quick googling will suffice, and if who I mentioned isn't pulled up, than I must be a fraud. There are five such individuals who if I want negative deconstructive criticism, I'd go right on here. And they are the type of people I would not recommend as a teacher. Those who focus on fault, and not what is currently growing will never actually see their fields grow.

It is comical, to me, that you would like me to leave when you have helped foster a system where I can't. Where in this forum people who leave, or are banned are considered defeated, as opposed to the failure on the forums part which it actually is, and anyone of integrity can see. When you host an open setting for people to communicate freely, and then ban anyone for doing so, speaks less on the part of the forum's than it does the poster they are actually banning. Having effectively attacked not only me, but my employer, my teachers, and the very area itself in regards to its MA culture... how can I leave? Would you, when the alternative is to have your teacher disparaged? When your own life goal in regards to martial arts is not only to have yourself remembered, but the Capitol region as well for its martial arts, as Foshan, Okinawa, and San Francisco are today, and as D.C. deserves. Though I have left my employer, or they left me because of the negative contact from this forum (frankly it doesn't matter to me which), I am only 22, and the road I have traveled is still long to go. I am lucky it is.

And to be honest, my opinion doesn't matter, since I'm not their teacher, who is responsible for how they will grow and develop in the art.

But I should note this; one thing which attracted my attention was how often thanks rise, for me and generally what I've noticed compared to the rest, in comparison to the reputation. I have noticed everyday my thanks go up, while my rep down, even when it is awarded multiple times a day. At some point when handed a handicap, you just ignore it.

You would think though, when others go months without it being raised, and mine is apparently daily, that at least they shouldn't deliberately attempt to keep the rep lowered. At that point it's coming off less as actual reputation, and moreso as illwill on their behalf. Heck, I think I've had a few times where I've received a reputation mark, checked back when I got home from GMU, and found another notification hours later that I had been given a demerit for something else. When there is a system in place where the people who determine what reputation you have get a notification... and if they disagree, it is quite a simple matter to look for the post which angered the most people (through either personal opine, or the one requesting a reputation demerit) and one can see the inherent flaws in such a system for people like me. I am not accusing however, merely stating how it has come off to me, in relation to my responses. I would accuse, if I cared enough to, but my reputation on a single martial art board, governed more by underbelts with the title 'grand-master' next to them for sheer quantity of posts (even if of quality) than for any actual reputation. You know who deserves that kind of ranking? I don't, at least on this board. I've spoken with apprently many masters, yet only a few people I myself would consider so, based upon their depth of insight into the art.

I have noticed, also, others coming to speak for me until others have browbeat them into silence. I am well aware that being controversial there are those who in part agree and keep silent for fear of being reprimanded themself. I am curious to see how your treatment will go, but because you post so infrequently, and I hope you do not let this affect you on a personal level, I do not expect to see the same as I have. The fact though that I am apparently very similar to other people who were banned is something which was less indicative to me of what they did, as boards are always banning people, especially big ones, and moreso the poor attitude on behalf of the poster who still held onto their dislike of that person, enough that they let it affect how they responded to someone completely different.

I imagine whenever I move from here someday I will review what I wrote. I hope in 20 years I won't be too embaressed by my words, though some I am sure will make me blush, but I also hope in 20 years the people on this board won't regret their words either. It is incredible, for all the ill action I have committed (I have deliberately avoided critiquing a style as good or bad. I think some have more developing to do, but all are just systems of thought which, for some work better than others.) how much I have received.

This forum has altered my view of martial arts greatly, something I treasure and hold more dear than my own life. My shishi bagua training has stayed my hand before from enlisting, but will not any longer. This forum has changed my view that you can treat google as if like casting questions into the nether, and actually getting responses. It has changed my view of martial arts, in that I had become naive in thinking the respect practiced by a group of college students, half of which are former convicts I might add, is more humble than that here. I do not speak any differently here than I do there, to any of them. and I respect, and care for them all dearly. But you see- a lot of martial arts is about that confrontation, and casting it aside. Distance I think is the greatest harbinger of illwill in martial arts, and if you ever want to see a bond between teacher and student get crushed, watch in the long term what happens when the teacher decides to retire. Many of Khan's students revile the man, and even attend a school which was founded out of spite of him, by former students. When they opened their doors in Burke, well within what would be considered a respectable range to place another school when one already exists, teaching the same style, they stood outside of Khans and handed out fliers to his students for the new dojo. Fortunately only about 20 students had such a difference of opinion with Master Khan they felt the need to leave, and they were not missed. And to put it in perspective, they received such in-depth training that when Khan's closed, in terms of fighting, they became second best. Khan's stopped competing years ago, and they cleared house normally when they went. You know why they stopped? When they began to see students judged by their own students or teachers, despite objections, and when sparring the entire school walked out in disgust when at the same tournament they were denied wins because of biased calls. It wasn't a conspiracy or anything, that's just what tournaments are like in the area, and Khans gave them the finger because of it. He had more than enough students to hold his own tournaments, with student head counts at above 200+ regularly.

I see a lot of the sickness which has corrupted the hearts of his former students, when at the same time the entire reason they are there is because of his teaching them. Humility is not something you can associate with age, it is something we can associate with experience. I have met an 8 year old who I found to be enlightened than the mystic of 74 years who sat next to him, and was his student. The boy thanked ME for giving him the time of day to listen to what he had to say. And his words changed my life, at least in regards to buddhism and Zen. I am certain he thanks everyone in this fashion. I have masters in the arts who could learn perspective and attitude from someone who is now 11.

I hope others can make that step- to ask to learn from a child, as an adult, when there is actually learning to be done. I made my father proud in asking a young, but experienced girl to teach me kendo when first beginning. To me, asking those who know is not a matter of height or age. They know, and it is apparent to anyone else who does, when they do. But words are never enough in martial arts. Never.



This coming from the individual who in their signature remarks that heroes are born when cornered, makes me strongly rethink considering their words.[/QUOTE]

Who's sporting the Grand Master title on the forum? Me? Dude, how many times have we told you. Its the Martial Talk titles. It has nothing to do with actual rank. I know people have told you that...you just dont listen, but I'm not surprised. I was a 3rd degree BB, when I joined this forum. The "Rank" on the forum, visable to all, was white belt. Yet on the profile, I listed 3rd degree Black.

Once again Alex, the problem lies in the fact that you're talking to people who're not only older, but have trained longer and have seen more. Problem is, is that you don't want to listen.

 

[MJS]

My apologies for misunderstanding you then, I had thought you meant it in a different sense. I am not sure I concur with that, though. I was very addicted to the drug, to the point I was beginning to have the onset of internal organ failure. It's not that I think I had it rough- this is a rough area, and a lot of people everywhere have had it a lot worse than a white middle-class suburban kid. But I recall meeting a former herione addict who counsiled other people in the NA meetings he hosted out in Annandale. He kicked the drug in one night, without any relapse, after 25 years of usage. He's either incredibly strong-willed, or he's lying. I'd like to think it's the former, as I've witnessed him having helped a number of people kick their intoxicant habit.

My life has not been hard. Complicated, at times, but not difficult. To say so would be dishonest, for I had a family who could put food on my table, and let me train where I chose. You don't get a better childhood than that, I'd say. My muggings were not life-threatening. Yes, I have stopped an attempted robbery, and last night, a fight at 2:30 AM by a bunch of drunk ghetto arses starting crap with each other, at that same 7-11, across the street from the police station which covers our area in fairfax. It's kinda like... yeah, I've done some things... but so have you, and mitigating any crime, when it's across the street from the police station, is not hard. It's just... life, at this point.



Eh? I'd rather go to class than waste money on a person I can speak to for free at my campus. It is GMU, we have an excellent psychology department, which is actually helping me presently with the issue of honor as an emotion.



Alas, the example would be a lot more poignant if we were in person, and you were making that point. I tend to put my hand an inch from the person's face to let them know they need to work on their guard, if it does. I'm not a big fan of the generic fighting stance. If they don't get the point, I touch their, nose then forehead, and if I have to, then the other vitals. I do not aim for those with kicks however.

However, we aren't, so...






That's pretty straight. I am unsure as to whether I would like to work in the govt. later in life once I have earned my conflict resolution masters; I may try to orient it toward working for the military as a consultant. We'll see where life takes me... for all we know the minute I get to afghan friendly fire could get me.



Eh? Nope. Almost got hit by a train once. Met a guy once who got shanked in the neck down in Richmond at VCU, scar was something fierce looking. I haven't had any near death experiences frankly, that I'm aware of outside the freak one you notice only in hindsight. I do stupid things, but not retarded. I've never fallen like that, as far as I'm concerned, never seriously injured myself past rib fractures, which kept me from being able to kick for half a week. I have had 0 training injuries apart from an occasional jammed finger. Such is the life of a person using open hand. Sorry to dissapoint; no secret shaolin or ninja masters, no secret arts. I'd prefer to say I made up the muggings and they never happened and I plain suck at MA... but I have no reason to lie to my teachers as I have nothing, because I can prove nothing online.

"Kid. Lose three quarters of what you post. Most of this has nothing to do with anything here. Half of it has no context (who on earth is "Suki"? There's no explanation, just an addition to the list that we didn't ask about...). Then there's the avoidance of basic questions. Oh, and I don't remember telling you how to do a kick (saw that in your earlier post as well).



When you can spell it correctly, I'll be happy to answer. Further, I've also gone hang-gliding, sailing, Kayaking, Canoeing, rock-climbing, snowboarding and ziplining. I am happy to climb anything because this helps builds the finger strength I was lacking do to the nail-biting habit. Not having them means that I have to go back and re-learn all the holds I knew because the nail itself is causing me to lose grip now. Just did a pressure grab where the nail is impeding it. Oh well, it'll take some getting used to I suppose... I stopped briefly a decade ago and hated what it did for my sense of gripping, but since I'm prepared for it now, it's more tolerable.

I'm not sure why anyone is complaining about length... no one forces you to read these.




You are right Wc, there are, but few deign to take the time to actually speak with me, and most who are jumping down my throat, have not been practicing as long as I have. That doesn't discredit their input, but it does make me observe it more carefully. In person, as a teacher, in all likelihood you are incredibly polite, and understanding. Being screens apart have a way of causing a breakdown between how we identify each other. If I asked probably a good number of the people I have trained with, if I should judge a person based upon their words. I would say... no. It makes no difference either way, if I did listen to only their words. In the end, Time=/=insight to an art. It is relevant to experience, causually. As all have heard repeatedly on this forum, just because I've done MA for almost 20 years doesn't mean anything, and you know what? I agree completely.

Maybe you should listen to some of the things being said to me, put on my sandals, and ask yourself if you really should take the advice of random heads online offering clinical evaluations... on an MA site, for what, 3 pages now? Because when you consider that, there's no way I can follow your advice on that mate. You know who I have listened to tho? People who are being reasonable in their responses, and seeking to be condusive. You, Jenna, Cyrianus, Oaktree. There are a lot of people who's input Ive even saved to a folder because I thought their insight good. Most replying at this point aren't like that, though, and don't care to be.

Chris, the breaking of my rib cage was started when Alec heel-kicked me. As I was continuously thrown, and beat upon by 4 people, the injury was exacerbated. They're ribs, they heel, and chances are it only happened because of how many kicks were hitting, and rocking me. Or perhaps I was moved into it by accident. No one at Khan's would break anything uot of deliberation, that is just not the kind of student he taught, and by that point those kind had been banned. I was lucky and the broke from the middle, down, and then up, so it only became painful to breathe around the time all you had to do was listen and talk. I'm not complaining, a lot of people have broken ribs, or the entire cage from kicks and it being too rough. They didn't complain, I won't either. I didn't wimper in pain, and considering a strike was probably landing every half second from somebody there, any grunts from the pain, or responses, would not have been heard over the whack of leather, their grunts also as they struck me, in addition to the snap of our heavy gi's and general commotion. Master Khan almost never stepped into a fight, he trusted his students to know when to stop. It was an accident that it happened, just like when I had my bum stomped on during the exam. It wouldn't surprise me if M. Khan knew, but it wasn't something I spoke about to anyone until I was at TKD and comfortable I was well outside the ear-shot of my master. Which was 2 years after my exam, and Khan's had closed. Even talking about it here... seems kinda offish. Meh.

My father is a doctor, and set the ribs himself. So no need for a bill or raised insurance either. When at Mt. Kims I received 3 deliberate front kicks to the groin... I went to him first, not the hospital from a muai thai practitioner.

Most of my long replies are actually multiple replies, to multiple people at once. Because I don't have the time to sit at a computer and literally constantly defend myself from people on here, which I am having to do now just so I can make sure the mods get that photo removed.

Alex,

This is yet another case of not listening. Do you actually read what you're typing? For example: You post a clip. You ask for comments. You said good, bad, you're ready to get our thoughts. Alot of the comments were rough, but straight forward, honest answers. If the clip was really great, would you want an honest answer or someone to lie? For every comment that was said, you came back, die hard, defending yourself, and I'll admit, alot of what you were saying, you were called on. You seem to dismiss that just because we're online, it means nobody has anything good to offer. How many times have I said that in alot of cases, a teacher will say things to a student, when in reality, they dont give a **** about them, but instead just getting paid every month. Did you show your teacher this clip? if so, what was his reply? That is was good? I'm going to guess that is in fact what he said.

As I've said, for someone as young as you are, you make some outrageous claims. You can expect to have those claims questioned. You fail to answer questions people ask, such as who you trained with, where you got this training. People have asked me questions, and I dont hesitate to answer them.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Eh? Nope. Almost got hit by a train once. Met a guy once who got shanked in the neck down in Richmond at VCU, scar was something fierce looking. I haven't had any near death experiences frankly, that I'm aware of outside the freak one you notice only in hindsight. I do stupid things, but not retarded. I've never fallen like that, as far as I'm concerned, never seriously injured myself past rib fractures, which kept me from being able to kick for half a week. I have had 0 training injuries apart from an occasional jammed finger. Such is the life of a person using open hand. Sorry to dissapoint; no secret shaolin or ninja masters, no secret arts. I'd prefer to say I made up the muggings and they never happened and I plain suck at MA... but I have no reason to lie to my teachers as I have nothing, because I can prove nothing online.

This directly contradicts your story about your rib cage being shattered during an exam. Are you forgetting what lies you've told?
:BSmeter:

Chris, the breaking of my rib cage was started when Alec heel-kicked me. As I was continuously thrown, and beat upon by 4 people, the injury was exacerbated. They're ribs, they heel, and chances are it only happened because of how many kicks were hitting, and rocking me. Or perhaps I was moved into it by accident. No one at Khan's would break anything uot of deliberation, that is just not the kind of student he taught, and by that point those kind had been banned. I was lucky and the broke from the middle, down, and then up, so it only became painful to breathe around the time all you had to do was listen and talk. I'm not complaining, a lot of people have broken ribs, or the entire cage from kicks and it being too rough. They didn't complain, I won't either. I didn't wimper in pain, and considering a strike was probably landing every half second from somebody there, any grunts from the pain, or responses, would not have been heard over the whack of leather, their grunts also as they struck me, in addition to the snap of our heavy gi's and general commotion. Master Khan almost never stepped into a fight, he trusted his students to know when to stop. It was an accident that it happened, just like when I had my bum stomped on during the exam. It wouldn't surprise me if M. Khan knew, but it wasn't something I spoke about to anyone until I was at TKD and comfortable I was well outside the ear-shot of my master. Which was 2 years after my exam, and Khan's had closed. Even talking about it here... seems kinda offish. Meh.

My father is a doctor, and set the ribs himself. So no need for a bill or raised insurance either. When at Mt. Kims I received 3 deliberate front kicks to the groin... I went to him first, not the hospital from a muai thai practitioner.

Last time you told this story, it was 3v1. Now it's 4v1. When will Godzilla and the Loch Ness Monster be showing up?

:BSmeter:

Rib fractures are not set, Alex. Of course, I've only been in emergency medicine for longer than you've been alive, so maybe you think you know more about it than I do.

 

[Chris Parker]

And Dirty Dog gets there before me...

Yeah, Alex, ribs aren't set. And if you did have your ribs broken (or "shattered"), you'd find it pretty difficult to stand up, breathing would feel impossible, and you'd be convinced you were about to die.

In short, no chance.

But I do like the way that it was looked after by your dad, so there's no bill, no insurance, no record... hmm.

 

[The Last Legionary]

I do not mind their negative criticisms as much as I did. When joining the boards the colors and symbols assigned to accounts were very misleading as they often denoted rank where it is not appropriate. I heard my 6th dan teacher give one of his long exhales when I mentioned there are people sporting the title-grandmaster as an identifiable part of who they are on the board. He had a good response for me, and it in many ways clears up why the response to me, here, has been so different from the actual experiences I have had as a martial artist, in person.

The mods get a few inquires a year from people confused about that. Usually it was 'But I'm a black belt. Make it say black belt. do it do it do it!' when I was handling them, doubt it changed. The odd person whining about the color order, or how it should say 'sash' or other such stupidity. It's a score card for forum activity. Always was, always will be. Hey, paying members can even turn it off or make it all sparkly like mine. Like it? Yeah. But I doubt someone with your experience would be so stupid as to misconstrue it's purpose right?

But martial arts is not my career- and anyone who makes it theirs is sick in my mind to take something which is pure, untainted until we put our own spins and biases on it, as a means to profit. I have never charged more than $30 for any lesson of mine, and no matter what private I have held, or class, I always let people who wanted to try it out, to join in. I charged money, not because I wanted to buy a new belt (though I would like to) but because I need to eat, and I hardly do as is on the pay of someone who is 22 and currently non-employed as a full-time student. You don't eat, you can't train, the way I see it.

Welcome to a consumer society. Shame you can't just sit in your hut and have students bring you food like in the fantasy old days huh?

I have noticed a few things from this forum, and it has occurred to me since day 1 that considering I chose this board for it being among the largest, it is also among the most seen. This does not mean it is the most influential however, to people who truly live and breath the art. But to people who are not martial artists, people who might agree with me, or even with aspects of what I have said, the behavior of those toward the differing view does not advocate any kind of 'correctness' in martial arts- it just shows one group accusing one person of arrogance, without realizing that their accusation in the first place is far more arrogant than anything the other has actually said. It takes real bravery to stand up to multiple confident people online, when it seems like so many have reached a consensus already. As you have done, as Jenna have done. You are the kind of martial artists, like Oaktree, I was hoping to find here. People like you, and me, are the type who value martial arts as above being just a system of fighting, it is a very way of thought and living.

Nice shots. Agenda much?

Most of the people who have spoken with me on the boards, while civil, have not been kind. I do not think how I say things actually comes off well here, only that I sincerely believe them, which either means they do not understand what I am trying to say, . When I am better able to say it, I will be ready to, I suppose. I am 22, they do not have to listen to me, no one does. When I am older, and if people seek out my opinion, I will always be happy to give it. They do not recognize that by constantly agressively criticising me, and by not responding, it is no longer me who is getting attacked, it is themselves at that point as they reveal themselves for who they actually are.

Nice psudeo babble. You're a 22 yr old know it all, here trolling. Nothing more. We see your bull **** for what it is and call you on it. Don't like it? Go play on MAP or Bullshido.

The simple fact any contention from a disagreement probably warrants I be given attention on these boards by those who actually care to give it to me. To be honest, the cruelty of others is still justification of oneself. Imagine if you were in my shoes, how this has appeared from my pov. Do I think they are humiliating me? Perhaps, if this forum were the end all of martial arts and the career. If my name was one tied solely to martial arts, and if I really didn't have varifiable ability, I might actually be bothered by the negative comments. But to be honest, their responses have revealed to me people I consider martial artists from the rest. Some are good, some are bad, but it is their attitude which is what tells me that the others should be spending less time detrimenting my comments, and speaking with people such as Cyrianus, Jenna or Oaktree, who have given me the time of day.

Right because not agreeing with you is dishonest and cruel. Better we pat your little deluded head and say 'you a good boy'. Bull ****. You're just a troll. Nothing more. The self-effacing ********, the little digs at the board, it's staff, it's members, all SOP for a grade 5 forum troll. A long winded one at that.

It is comical, to me, that you would like me to leave when you have helped foster a system where I can't. Where in this forum people who leave, or are banned are considered defeated, as opposed to the failure on the forums part which it actually is, and anyone of integrity can see. When you host an open setting for people to communicate freely, and then ban anyone for doing so, speaks less on the part of the forum's than it does the poster they are actually banning. Having effectively attacked not only me, but my employer, my teachers, and the very area itself in regards to its MA culture... how can I leave? Would you, when the alternative is to have your teacher disparaged? When your own life goal in regards to martial arts is not only to have yourself remembered, but the Capitol region as well for its martial arts, as Foshan, Okinawa, and San Francisco are today, and as D.C. deserves. Though I have left my employer, or they left me because of the negative contact from this forum (frankly it doesn't matter to me which), I am only 22, and the road I have traveled is still long to go. I am lucky it is.

Open doesn't mean anything goes. Not here. You're a guest, and rapidly wearing out your welcome, Troll.

But I should note this; one thing which attracted my attention was how often thanks rise, for me and generally what I've noticed compared to the rest, in comparison to the reputation. I have noticed everyday my thanks go up, while my rep down, even when it is awarded multiple times a day. At some point when handed a handicap, you just ignore it.

1 person thanks you. 10 ding you. nice ratio. Some trolls just enjoy the red dots as much as cats do. Difference is, cats are cute.

You would think though, when others go months without it being raised, and mine is apparently daily, that at least they shouldn't deliberately attempt to keep the rep lowered. At that point it's coming off less as actual reputation, and moreso as illwill on their behalf. Heck, I think I've had a few times where I've received a reputation mark, checked back when I got home from GMU, and found another notification hours later that I had been given a demerit for something else. When there is a system in place where the people who determine what reputation you have get a notification... and if they disagree, it is quite a simple matter to look for the post which angered the most people (through either personal opine, or the one requesting a reputation demerit) and one can see the inherent flaws in such a system for people like me. I am not accusing however, merely stating how it has come off to me, in relation to my responses. I would accuse, if I cared enough to, but my reputation on a single martial art board, governed more by underbelts with the title 'grand-master' next to them for sheer quantity of posts (even if of quality) than for any actual reputation. You know who deserves that kind of ranking? I don't, at least on this board. I've spoken with apprently many masters, yet only a few people I myself would consider so, based upon their depth of insight into the art.

If you have a problem with your rep, contact staff, they will look at it and decide if it's a rules violation. Whining about it as you are here is a rules violation.

I have noticed, also, others coming to speak for me until others have browbeat them into silence

.

Translation: When people have pointed out I can't keep my lies straight. *** hole.

I could go on, but I don't want to spend Easter in the lock up again. I took a big Zenjael in there last time and it still stinks.