So I taught the worst self defense class ever. Here's what happened.

[mercmonster]

As I mentioned in my intro thread, I'm an actor/filmmaker with very minimal martial arts experience. I recently started a new channel to flex my acting muscles and I thought it'd be fun to offer a free self-defense class and just improvise a full session for 90 minutes.

So I did it. And we filmed it all.

It was a mess, I just pulled anything and everything out my a** to make it as ridiculous as possible. One guy actually walked out ten minutes in. So check it out, guys, I'd love to hear what you think! I hope you enjoy it!

youtu.be/ngFGmUfNAsA

I'm genuinely curious - were any of the techniques I taught actually viable in self-defense or a fight?

We did tell the students afterwards (minus the guy that walked out) that it was all a prank - I definitely didn't want to, a week later, hear about one of them being put in the hospital after they tried to grab an assailant's anus. They said they had a blast either way and took it in good stride, which was great.

Let me know what you guys think! Feel free to be as honest as possible.

 

[Tez3]

I'm sure others will comment, I've just seen this as it's bedtime here so no time for much commenting, it made me laugh though!

 

[mercmonster]

View attachment 19288

I'm sure others will comment, I've just seen this as it's bedtime here so no time for much commenting, it made me laugh though!

I hope you went to bed and have sweet dreams of an Asian man rolling around with a sex doll.

 

[K-man]

Um ... no! Amusing yes, practical for self defence? I'll wait for the others, but a piece of advice. Perhaps best to stick to your day job.

 

[mercmonster]

Um ... no! Amusing yes, practical for self defence? I'll wait for the others, but a piece of advice. Perhaps best to stick to your day job.

Not even the anus grab?!? Hahaha Hope you still got a kick out of it though!

 

[Tez3]

I hope you went to bed and have sweet dreams of an Asian man rolling around with a sex doll.

Alas no, more a busy day as the Queen is coming to tea today, not at my house exactly but close enough. Next week we have the Norwegian King visiting. Busy time.

 

[RTKDCMB]

Let me know what you guys think! Feel free to be as honest as possible.

And they pay you for acting do they?

 

[Buka]

Maybe another way - I think you need to establish the scenario of the fake instruction being presented to a slightly larger group. I think it would help the satire. A group of twenty to thirty would have been good (not really too too difficult, even on a shoestring budget if you consider social media)

An opening shot of the thirty chatting just prior to instruction might have set a tone for a WTF moment as a lead in. Could have gone with close up conversations of two or three people either exposing why they are there or the "I've always wanted to do self defense" in an opening montage. Overall, I think subtler would have been better, but probably better to the live audience/participants present, than a viewing audience on-line, which is subject to way too many variables. Nice job, though.

Welcome to MT, by the way.

 

[MantisTLK]

This was hilarious. The techniques won't work...but the nipple twist is epic. When we're talking about self defense you want to create as much damage as possible in the shortest amount of time. If I'm a predator and you stick your finger in my *** or you fart in my face or you twist my nipple, that isn't going to hurt me enough to stop me from hurting you. It's just going to make me more angry and hurt you more than I had originally intended (moot point if it's murder but more often than not a criminal doesn't actually want to kill you, they just want what you have)
A pretty basic tip for self defense is never let it go to the ground, looked to me like you had a pretty decent amount of ground work in there
If you do get knocked down then **** can get real crazy. My first go to is to either blind the attacker or break some of his fingers.

 

[Steve]

I recommend calling the anus grab the dip stick technique. Just s thought.

 

[hoshin1600]

i think as a comedic satire skit it had some great potential ideas but the filming of the class and the editing needs work. comedy has a flow and a particular timing to it. a filmed skit needs that timing in a visual way for the audience to follow along. the edit needs room for the laugh, this seems to cut from one scene to the next to quickly and doesnt let the absurdity of the joke develop and mature into a good laugh. i dont remember any shots of the students faces while being shown the techniques. this would have been great to see the reactions on their faces. also i dont understand who the other two guys were. instructors ? they didnt fit well into the skit. it might have been better for only one other person to act as a formal student or assistant instructor and be dressed for the part. or could have been used as a "plant" participant who is just as crazy as the instuctor and who is over the top "into" the class (maybe a returning participant?)

 

[drop bear]

I recommend calling the anus grab the dip stick technique. Just s thought.

Monkey does something,something.

 

[lklawson]

Did they pay for the "instruction?" Did you refund their money? What did you do to compensate them for wasting 1 & 1/2 hours of their life?

And what the devil is up with this current fad of wanting to "prank" people, particularly total strangers? I sort of get pranking your friends, sometimes. But total strangers? I'm, frankly, surprised that more of those sort of pranks don't end with the perpetrator getting the crap beat out of him.

Ah well, maybe I'm just getting cranky in my old age.

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk

 

[RavenDarkfellow]

I was thinking the same thing as Kirk mentioned. . . Also, some of the techniques could be moderately useful, if executed properly. The anus thing could work, if you actually had a good enough grip (probably on the anus and genitals at the same time) to squeeze and let them know there will be permanent tearing and damage if they don't comply. . . There are definitely more effective ways to do it, though! The ear thing, by the same token. . . But as someone above mentioned, you need to have enough control over them to force compliance; an assailant who means your life is not likely to be controlled by the ear. The nose-holes, on the other hand. . .