Those are two very different mindsets. They are not the same. Ever watch the guy honking and yelling at the car in front of him to go? That guy may be yelling, screaming, taunting, arguing, .... but as soon as the guy in front gets out of his car and walks up to the window, things change in a hurry. From the safety of a verbal argument, everyone can be the hero... but when it changes to a physical confrontation, things change. Its not so easy any more. Ever hear the phrase "talk is cheap." Overcoming your fear of losing and argument and overcoming your fear of being physically hurt are very different. Notice in the above example, the guy getting out of his car, is not winning any verbal arguments here.
If you are talking sport... sure. If you are talking self defense... not so much. You don't have time to figure out and understand the other guy. Understanding yourself, yes that helps. Thats why most martial arts talk about understanding yourself first, then understanding the other guy. In a self defense type situation, you need to be reacting immediately... in many situations before you even know who is attacking you, let alone being able to understand the other guy.
I beleive they are. verbal confrontations can be in an office, anywhere. no one wants to lose face and in some cases if you lose face too often you lose respect from people. Lose promotion.
I have been in and seen situations where people back down because they are mentally beaten before it starts. Maybe they could win but inside they are scared, have doubts about heir own abilities. someone might look imposing or is loud. mental toughness for me is still Number 1 . Indeed someone wrote recently about "freezing" in sparring. It´s not being a coward but lack of self esteem and confidence and mental toughness.
Basically true. And you don't always need to figure out the other guy. Luckily there are instinctual responses we can count on unless he is a very well trained experienced professional. Most of the time, an understanding of basic tactics, practiced muscle memory and noting his posture will give you the 'figuring out" you need without thinking about it.
It could be all of the above. There is another consideration as well - mental conditioning. Many of us are taught from early childhood the moral imperative that it's "wrong" to fight and to hurt others. Over the years, this becomes the mindset and keeps one from being able to get past it and "pull the switch," to go into an aggressive controlled fight response when needed.
Everyone loves to get into verbal confrontations. But not all those people are willing to fight. Most people will talk big, until the physical attack starts. Further, there are people that don't get into verbal confrontations... but they will beat you to death literally. Its a mistake to think that just because you can stand up to someone in a verbal office dispute... that you also have the right mental fortitude to fight off the knife wielding attacker waiting for you in the parking lot. It can also be a mistake to think that the guy that does not want to argue with you, can't and won't kick your trash.
We have all seen this. If you pay attention, many times its the guy that starts the verbal altercation thinking the other guy will back down once he wins... but when the other guy makes it physical, the verbal guy shuts down... even if he won the verbal argument, he is still afraid to get beat down.
thank you for your opinion.
thank you for your input. can you give us examples of your experiences ?
This is flatly wrong. There are many people who certainly don't enjoy verbal confrontations and those who actively avoid them.
I stand corrected... I could have used better wording.
Thus demonstrating that you are not one of the people described in the OP; people who consider conversations something to be won. I think that is a good thing.
digest.bps.org.uk
Found this...
The Psychologist | BPS
"Wrong" is completely subjective.
Not really. If you claim the sky is orange or that 2+2=5, you're wrong. There's nothing subjective about it.
I'm not talking about scientific or mathematical realities; I'm talking about morals, things that are the main cause of most fights anyway.
