Practicing for 6 weeks - seeking sparring advice/help/guidance

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Sarah Mc

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This never goes away. You'll fail a bunch of times and then you'll get good at what you were trying to do. Then when you try something new, you'll go through the same process but you'll be less frustrated because you have accepted the learning process.

If everything is easy then it's because you aren't learning anything new. If you aren't learning anything new then you aren't growing within the system. Many of us have been taking martial arts for a long time yet we still engage in learning more about basic things like Rising blocks and how to apply it, or footwork. There is always going to be something new you can learn about what you already know how to do, and when you try to spar with it, you'll get that same frustration.

The key is that you keep trying to use the techniques that you train. Then one day after you have failed again, a moment of clarity will hit you and you'll figure out exactly how to use that technique that was frustrating you for so long.
Everything you said makes sense to me. I really appreciate that, thank you!
 

JowGaWolf

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Everything you said makes sense to me. I really appreciate that, thank you!
No problem. Glad it helps takes some of that frustration out of the equation. Just keep working on those techniques and you'll be fine.. Oh make sure you don't spar so hard that you are afraid to make a mistake and get hit, because you'll never take the risks that you need in order to learn how to correctly use your techniques. You'll just end up playing it safe if you are afraid to get hit. Also don't worry about winning when you are in the school. Save winning for competitions and self-defense. Everything else should be about learning.
 

spidersam

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Good morning and happy November 1st! My name is Sarah and I'm new to this forum as well as new to martial arts. I wanted to introduce myself and to put some questions/concerns out there in hopes of receiving advice/help/guidance.

I'm a 33 year old female. I've wanted to participate in martial arts for many years now, but have just now decided to pursue it. A lot of people in my life have asked me if I'm doing this because I want to learn to defend myself, and while that's certainly a great benefit, that is not my primary motivation. What I was always interested in, and so far what I enjoy in reality, is the actual process - learning a greater mastery of my body, becoming stronger, etc. If it turns out I have any talent I'd even love to tap into the competitive side of my personality, but therein lies my problem, really...

I can deal with the fact that it takes time to build both strength and skill. Going in I wasn't exactly weak - I'm pretty strong when it comes to my legs and am building arm strength. If I have a physical weakness it's that I have a few pounds left to lose (I've lost about half the weight I need to lose total - I have about 30 lbs to go). I know it will take time and practice to improve, both of which I haven't had much of, but there is one thing I'm seeing no improvement in and it's starting to really frustrate me: sparring.

It's been 6 weeks total. I take an MMA class on Friday nights and Sunday mornings and a karate class following the MMA class on Sundays. It's the standing up sparring bouts during MMA classes that I'm starting to dread. I'm not afraid of pain at all - I'm afraid of how frustratingly impossible it always seems. I don't know how to describe it - I end up just freezing because every time I try to punch or kick I can feel how clumsy and unskilled my attempts are, coupled with the fact that the other person does not seem to be having the same problem, and eventually I just freeze not knowing what to do. It seems like what I try is just plain wrong and that would be okay if I was improving, but it feels like I'm stuck in that mode class after class (only with sparring - everything else I'm able to work on is getting better). I don't know how to get it to click.

I do well on the ground, and I think it's because when I'm wrestling there is no option to freeze, and so instincts of some kind can take over until what I have learned can kick in.

I am here hoping that what I'm experiencing is not unique, and that someone (or a few someone's) can lend advice as to how to break past this beginning phase of sparring. If nothing else it feels good to be doing something in talking about it. I really love everything else about the experience and it's very important to me not to let myself become discouraged. I want to continue growing my skills for the foreseeable future.

Thank you for your time!

I have been frustrated very much in sparring in the past, and still am often. Remember first to smile and have fun when you spar, that will loosen you up. If you are tense and anxious, sparring will be difficult. Accept failure and getting hit as part of learning. Thank your opponent for showing your flaws when s/he hits you. When you are not in class practicing, read and watch videos. One of the best books I can recommend is Tao of Jeet Kune Do. It is a physical and a mental game.
 
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Sarah Mc

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I have been frustrated very much in sparring in the past, and still am often. Remember first to smile and have fun when you spar, that will loosen you up. If you are tense and anxious, sparring will be difficult. Accept failure and getting hit as part of learning. Thank your opponent for showing your flaws when s/he hits you. When you are not in class practicing, read and watch videos. One of the best books I can recommend is Tao of Jeet Kune Do. It is a physical and a mental game.
Thank you for the specific advice - that helps!
 

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