I swear by all the gods that this is absolutely true and can take no credit for it since it was an act of Divine Grace that provided the opportunity.
Some years back I worked as a Sysadmin for the Engineering and Computer Science School at a local university. My wife and I were teaching the Women's Self Defense classes and were known to do a bit of shooting. Everyone in the Department knew it. We were the go-to guy and gal for anything involving self protection or martial arts. I have to say that our prominence was due to the flatness of the terrain. These were generally not people comfortable in their bodies or with any experience in physical violence.
One day the infosec professor said "Todd, I know you've done some shooting. I'm interested in a gun for self defense."
I asked him what sort of self defense. He explained that he was going fishing in Alaska and had heard of people having trouble with bears.
There probably wasn't time between now and then to get him the skills to do what he needed. I told him so. The guide would probably be armed just in case. The best advice I could give him was that if the bear wanted his fish he should let the bear have the damned fish. Just back away slowly and make sure not to get anywhere near cubs.
Yes, he said, he understood that. But just in case...
Alright, I said, there's a reason they call that particular Marlin lever action the Guide Gun. It's the absolute minimum for the job. I suggested some things with a little more authority that you could still carry while fishing and mentioned a few hunters who might be willing to lend him what he needed.
Somehow I knew where the conversation was going.
He asked the question.
"If I wanted a pistol what kind would I carry?"
No choice about it. It was like a Greek tragedy. The Chorus has already told the King that he's screwing up. Blind Tiresias has been abused. I had to play my part. If I didn't answer lightning would strike me dead, and the Earth would open to swallow my body.
"It doesn't matter what kind of handgun you use. Just remember to file off the front sight."
"Why should I do that?"
"So it won't hurt as much when the bear takes it and kicks it up your ***."
Some years back I worked as a Sysadmin for the Engineering and Computer Science School at a local university. My wife and I were teaching the Women's Self Defense classes and were known to do a bit of shooting. Everyone in the Department knew it. We were the go-to guy and gal for anything involving self protection or martial arts. I have to say that our prominence was due to the flatness of the terrain. These were generally not people comfortable in their bodies or with any experience in physical violence.
One day the infosec professor said "Todd, I know you've done some shooting. I'm interested in a gun for self defense."
I asked him what sort of self defense. He explained that he was going fishing in Alaska and had heard of people having trouble with bears.
There probably wasn't time between now and then to get him the skills to do what he needed. I told him so. The guide would probably be armed just in case. The best advice I could give him was that if the bear wanted his fish he should let the bear have the damned fish. Just back away slowly and make sure not to get anywhere near cubs.
Yes, he said, he understood that. But just in case...
Alright, I said, there's a reason they call that particular Marlin lever action the Guide Gun. It's the absolute minimum for the job. I suggested some things with a little more authority that you could still carry while fishing and mentioned a few hunters who might be willing to lend him what he needed.
Somehow I knew where the conversation was going.
He asked the question.
"If I wanted a pistol what kind would I carry?"
No choice about it. It was like a Greek tragedy. The Chorus has already told the King that he's screwing up. Blind Tiresias has been abused. I had to play my part. If I didn't answer lightning would strike me dead, and the Earth would open to swallow my body.
"It doesn't matter what kind of handgun you use. Just remember to file off the front sight."
"Why should I do that?"
"So it won't hurt as much when the bear takes it and kicks it up your ***."