Love/Hate To Fly? Things Your Pilot Won't Tell You

[MA-Caver]

Fun article to read, especially if you have an upcoming flight ahead.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/35-secrets-your-pilot-wont-tell-you-2399544/

another article along same vein:
http://www.rd.com/home-garden/50-secrets-your-pilot-wont-tell-you/article186583-2.html

I love the lingo they printed out...

Airline Lingo
Blue juice: The water in the lavatory toilet. “There’s no blue juice in the lav.”
Crotch watch: The required check to make sure all passengers have their seat belts fastened. Also: “groin scan.”

Crumb crunchers: Kids. “We’ve got a lot of crumb crunchers on this flight.”

Deadheading: When an airline employee flies as a passenger for company business.

Gate lice: The people who gather around the gate right before boarding so they can be first on the plane. “Oh, the gate lice are thick today.”

George: Autopilot. “I’ll let George take over.” They should've named it Otto :uhyeah:

Landing lips: Female passengers put on their “landing lips” when they use their lipstick just before landing.

Pax: Passengers.

Spinners: Passengers who get on late and don’t have a seat assignment, so they spin around looking for a seat.

Two-for-once special: The plane touches down on landing, bounces up, then touches down again.

Working the village: Working in coach.

 

[Nomad]

Thanks... taking an early morning flight across the country tomorrow. *sigh*

 

[CoryKS]

Gate lice: The people who gather around the gate right before boarding so they can be first on the plane. “Oh, the gate lice are thick today.”

These people amuse me. By all means, let's get out of the nice terminal chairs with all the leg room and mob the airplane to get into the cramped chairs with NO leg room. Knuckleheads.

 

[Carol]

These people amuse me. By all means, let's get out of the nice terminal chairs with all the leg room and mob the airplane to get into the cramped chairs with NO leg room. Knuckleheads.

Its because Southwest doesn't have assigned seating. Mobbing the gate is so you have the best chance at avoiding a (gasp) middle seat -- or worse, a seat at the back of the plane. Plus it gives you a chance to stand and be on your feet before being belted in your seat for two hours.

Not...that I've ever done that of course. I just, um, have a friend who does. *blinks innocently*

 

[CoryKS]

Nah, its because Southwest doesn't have assigned seating. Mobbing the gate is so you have the best chance at avoiding a (gasp) middle seat -- or worse, a seat at the back of the plane. Plus it gives you a chance to stand and be on your feet before being belted in your seat for two hours.

Not...that I've ever done that of course. I just, um, have a friend who does. *blinks innocently*

Didn't know that about Southwest, but they do it on *every* flight. Assigned seats or not. I'll have to keep that in mind in case I ever have to fly Southwest, because if it comes down to having to sit in the back then the elbows are coming out.

 

[Carol]

Didn't know that about Southwest, but they do it on *every* flight. Assigned seats or not. I'll have to keep that in mind in case I ever have to fly Southwest, because if it comes down to having to sit in the back then the elbows are coming out.

Check in online at midnight the night before to get "Zone 1" seating. That will at least ensure that you get to line up with the first group. At least in the mid-Atlantic, the gates have railings for the different "zones" to stand in queue. Helps reduce the mosh-pit effect.

 

[Tez3]

'Pax' is the official RAF and military terms for passengers, not derogatory.
However the RAF calling the army pongos when they get on board an aircraft is. The army calling the RAF crabs when they get on the said RAF aircraft is also derogatory.

RAF aircraft incidentally have all the passenger seats facing the tail for safety.

 

[MA-Caver]

RAF aircraft incidentally have all the passenger seats facing the tail for safety.

How about the real reason is that they can't see "it" coming. :uhyeah:

 

[Tez3]

How about the real reason is that they can't see "it" coming. :uhyeah:

Nah it wouldn't matter which way the seats are for that as the RAF loadmaster girls are what the troops watch going up and down the aisle!

 

[Bruno@MT]

Didn't know that about Southwest, but they do it on *every* flight. Assigned seats or not. I'll have to keep that in mind in case I ever have to fly Southwest, because if it comes down to having to sit in the back then the elbows are coming out.

It's also because the overhead storage is usually not able to contain everything that people carry on board with them. So unless you get to your row in time, you'll have to stuff your belongings someplace else.

As for flying... I usually don't mind, though I always ask isle seating. I am aware that the outside world exists 30000 feet below me. I have absolutely no desire to see it. I'll just put on my headphones, immerse myself in a book or work on my laptop, and try to imagine that I am just in a greyhound with its wheels firmly on the ground, thankyouverymuch.

I only had one experience that I don't want to repeat, ever again.
I was on a flight to Nice (France) and fairly bored, since I made that flight a dozen times already over the previous couple of months. Halfway through the flight, we heard a hard 'clunk' that was felt through the entire plane. Kinda like hitting a speedbump at high speed.

Immediatly the crew started walking to the back of the plane. When they returned, that is when I started to worry. Their smiles were the forced 'Omg, keep smiling and thinking happy thoughts' smiles that never make their way to the eyes. One of them started talking urgently with the captain on the phone (I was sitting front row, window seat). The flight became more turbulent and the left engine made 'funny' noises.

When it was time for the landing, the crew strapped themselves to their seats while keeping their eyes fixed on the left engine. No smiles anymore... We approached over the open sea and that is where it really got interesting. We lost power much more suddenly than usual and started tilting left wing down. We nosedived towards the ocean and I heard the pilot revving up the engines at full power. The left engine made an ungodly noise, and we pulled up not too far above the water level (I could not help but watch the ocean coming near) and we completed the rest of the descent path more or less level instead of the usual gradual descent. We had a bouncy touch down, and as the wheels touched the ground, the crew was visibly relieved.

Afterward I heard from a colleague in the back of the plane, that around the time of the bump, part of the wing / engine covering stared glowing red hot. I still don't know what happened, but boy was I ever glad to have my feet on the ground again.

 

[CoryKS]

It's also because the overhead storage is usually not able to contain everything that people carry on board with them. So unless you get to your row in time, you'll have to stuff your belongings someplace else.

My carry-on is one paperback book. In a worse case scenario, the most I would need is a toothbrush and some contact lens solution, and I can pick those up cheap at K-mart if need be.

Your flight story was scary. :erg: I mostly enjoy flying, but if anything goes wrong you can't exactly pull over and take a look. My mom used to say, "When it's your time to go, it's your time to go... but what if it's the pilot's time to go?"

 

[teekin]

[

Afterward I heard from a colleague in the back of the plane, that around the time of the bump, part of the wing / engine covering stared glowing red hot. I still don't know what happened, but boy was I ever glad to have my feet on the ground again.[/quote]

Geez, thanks Bruno. And I like flying in smaller jump jets. You can feel the plane pitch and roll. It's kind of fun, like an amusment ride.

Lori

 

[Dirty Dog]

You're right in that the overheads are small, but given how much the airlines are charging for checked bags, you can expect more to be carried on.

My own carryon is probably bigger than most. I carry my laptop, of course, but I also carry my Dive Caddy. It's a backpack style case that carries my entire SCUBA kit. I rely on this gear to keep me alive when I'm 100 feet under, and I am not letting the baggage monkeys get their hands on it.

It's about 1.5" longer than most carryons, but no thicker. I can pack an entire warm water kit in it, plus a 4-5 t-shirts, some flip flops and a couple pairs of swim shorts. Since the gear is mostly flexible, I can fit it in the overheads. Yes, it looks too big and tends to hang out when the doors are open, but it all compresses when you close the door. The only dive gear I put in the checked luggage is the cutting tools. They tend to make the TSA nervous, and I hate body cavity searches.

It was bad enough on this last trip. We left Nov 1, and I had a nuclear medicine scan done Oct 29th. So I was radioactive... I did avoid the body cavity search, but it could have been ugly.

 

[Carol]

You're right in that the overheads are small, but given how much the airlines are charging for checked bags, you can expect more to be carried on.

My own carryon is probably bigger than most. I carry my laptop, of course, but I also carry my Dive Caddy. It's a backpack style case that carries my entire SCUBA kit. I rely on this gear to keep me alive when I'm 100 feet under, and I am not letting the baggage monkeys get their hands on it.

It's about 1.5" longer than most carryons, but no thicker. I can pack an entire warm water kit in it, plus a 4-5 t-shirts, some flip flops and a couple pairs of swim shorts. Since the gear is mostly flexible, I can fit it in the overheads. Yes, it looks too big and tends to hang out when the doors are open, but it all compresses when you close the door. The only dive gear I put in the checked luggage is the cutting tools. They tend to make the TSA nervous, and I hate body cavity searches.

It was bad enough on this last trip. We left Nov 1, and I had a nuclear medicine scan done Oct 29th. So I was radioactive... I did avoid the body cavity search, but it could have been ugly.

Jimmy Page and Paul Rodgers get it

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