_Simon_164 195
Grandmaster
- Thread starter
- #861
Hey guys.. Just getting my thoughts out there... been really struggling with my current dojo... Even looking at the post from almost exactly a year ago it's pretty much the same as now. Just not really getting much feedback, and actually had an honest conversation with my instructor regarding this, and he says genuinely when he sees my kata there is nothing at all he can think of that comes to mind to improve. I just keep thinking, surely there's more to it, I've certainly gotten heaps of feedback and ways to improve when training at the camps and with others...
So I've been invited to do my 2nd dan grading in mid October. It's been 2 years since my last grading, and as a part of this grading I'm required to know 10 specific nage waza (throwing/takedown techniques/drills). We've barely done any of them over the past 2 years. Like I've said before I'd felt like my stuff has been really neglected, and after being invited to grade I mentioned that I'm not at all confident with the takedown techniques.
So to his credit, my instructor is only now spending quite alot more time with me on them, but it still feels incredibly rushed, and I am still no where near feeling confident with them. I don't understand why we didn't work on them for 2 whole years and now they're being crammed in to tick off a box.
I'm just at a point where I'm getting increasingly frustrated with my club... and I have no idea whether to go for my 2nd dan. It feels like if I do, then after that I'll learn a few more katas and bunkai and that's it... the depth I'm looking for just isn't really there. And again I still worry about the standard of others' grading... I know I do set a really high standard but there's basic stuff being overlooked. So I wonder what my grading would even mean if I was to go for it... like what I'm being judged on.
Actually one of the previous instructors who left our club a few years ago has been popping in on some classes and it's been really nice to see him. I actually had a really good chat with him after class the other day about all of my struggles, and he very much could empathise and sort of felt a similar way about the club. He was actually very helpful in that he laid out the options I could take:
1) As I'm not getting the feedback, to ask my instructor to spend 20-30 minutes or so with me after classes on more in depth stuff, but I just don't think I'd get that, I've already sort of asked that.
2) Ask to have my 2nd dan grading postponed a few months so I feel more ready.
3) Start thinking about possibly looking elsewhere that might speak to me.
He thinks if I chose option 3 that maybe I shouldn't leave as 1st dan, but still go for my 2nd dan as I truly do deserve it.
He also said that I'm leagues above the other students and asked how I feel about not having really any higher grades to learn from, which I feel is a big thing, and something I've thought about alot... I really want to surround myself with those better than myself and just want to learn again. It's nice being the one of highest grades in ways, but not in others.
I really honestly keep flipping back and forward regarding grading. Some days I'll think I'll go for it, then others I just have no motivation to. Feels like I'm on such a precipice, almost feeling like leaving karate altogether for a bit. I have no idea what to do really. Well, there are ideas but no clear cut answer as of yet.
It's so emotional, as I really love the people and community at the dojo, and my instructor is incredibly kind and has gone out of his way in many ways, more than he needed to to help me over the years. But I don't know if it's like I'm outgrowing the dojo.. that actually feels really accurate now that I've said it out loud...
That being said, I am really loving cross-training back in Kyokushin a bit, I'm learning alot there that I've missed. I'd still like to keep that going, but still be within and learning Goju.
So that's that... just my current space I'm really really struggling with
. Thanks for listening all 
So I've been invited to do my 2nd dan grading in mid October. It's been 2 years since my last grading, and as a part of this grading I'm required to know 10 specific nage waza (throwing/takedown techniques/drills). We've barely done any of them over the past 2 years. Like I've said before I'd felt like my stuff has been really neglected, and after being invited to grade I mentioned that I'm not at all confident with the takedown techniques.
So to his credit, my instructor is only now spending quite alot more time with me on them, but it still feels incredibly rushed, and I am still no where near feeling confident with them. I don't understand why we didn't work on them for 2 whole years and now they're being crammed in to tick off a box.
I'm just at a point where I'm getting increasingly frustrated with my club... and I have no idea whether to go for my 2nd dan. It feels like if I do, then after that I'll learn a few more katas and bunkai and that's it... the depth I'm looking for just isn't really there. And again I still worry about the standard of others' grading... I know I do set a really high standard but there's basic stuff being overlooked. So I wonder what my grading would even mean if I was to go for it... like what I'm being judged on.
Actually one of the previous instructors who left our club a few years ago has been popping in on some classes and it's been really nice to see him. I actually had a really good chat with him after class the other day about all of my struggles, and he very much could empathise and sort of felt a similar way about the club. He was actually very helpful in that he laid out the options I could take:
1) As I'm not getting the feedback, to ask my instructor to spend 20-30 minutes or so with me after classes on more in depth stuff, but I just don't think I'd get that, I've already sort of asked that.
2) Ask to have my 2nd dan grading postponed a few months so I feel more ready.
3) Start thinking about possibly looking elsewhere that might speak to me.
He thinks if I chose option 3 that maybe I shouldn't leave as 1st dan, but still go for my 2nd dan as I truly do deserve it.
He also said that I'm leagues above the other students and asked how I feel about not having really any higher grades to learn from, which I feel is a big thing, and something I've thought about alot... I really want to surround myself with those better than myself and just want to learn again. It's nice being the one of highest grades in ways, but not in others.
I really honestly keep flipping back and forward regarding grading. Some days I'll think I'll go for it, then others I just have no motivation to. Feels like I'm on such a precipice, almost feeling like leaving karate altogether for a bit. I have no idea what to do really. Well, there are ideas but no clear cut answer as of yet.
It's so emotional, as I really love the people and community at the dojo, and my instructor is incredibly kind and has gone out of his way in many ways, more than he needed to to help me over the years. But I don't know if it's like I'm outgrowing the dojo.. that actually feels really accurate now that I've said it out loud...
That being said, I am really loving cross-training back in Kyokushin a bit, I'm learning alot there that I've missed. I'd still like to keep that going, but still be within and learning Goju.
So that's that... just my current space I'm really really struggling with