A thought. "What if" the woman you mentioned, who had a perceived pressing need for actual/practical SD instruction got into the BJJ class and absolutely hated it? I could easily understand that, since the contact involved might get into her head, all that rolling around and grabbing and mashing and etc. So, she quits after a week and it did her no good.
Being an aikidoer (I love that made up word), I recognize that trying to turn it into something which you can really rely upon in SD situations is a long road. And it hurts (investing in loss, love that term too). So, if she was after becoming competent enough to at least defend against the larger & stronger opponent "in as short a span of time as possible," then BJJ seems to me to be a better fit than aikido.
Fastest yet might be to get training in CQB shooting, do someof those competitions, and have both your CCL (CHL?) and your 9mm ready to hand. "Quickest" solution to the problem she presented to the board, perhaps. Not my own solution, since guns scare the bejeezus out of me, but maybe hers?