I need to find a place with a large emphasis on sparring. There seems to be none in my area. How the F am I supposed to learn how to fight?

Kung Fu Wang

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How the F am I supposed to learn how to fight?​


Have you ever gone to a gym, and try to ask those body builders to see if anybody wants to be your sparring partner (and join in your "fighting club")?
 

isshinryuronin

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What so I should just ignore red flags.. like a moron?
You are one big red flag. If your tone here is similar to what you project at the gyms you've visited, no wonder they did not welcome you onto the mat.
I would but I always freeze and my body rejects any attempts I make at striking the other person.
If this is your starting point, you are not ready to spar by a long shot as has been suggested already. You need to train your body's reaction and muscle memory thru a few hundred/thousand drills first. There is no shortcut to this. If you are reluctant to listen to those with many years of experience here, I see a dim future for your progress.
 
OP
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You are one big red flag. If your tone here is similar to what you project at the gyms you've visited, no wonder they did not welcome you onto the mat.

If this is your starting point, you are not ready to spar by a long shot as has been suggested already. You need to train your body's reaction and muscle memory thru a few hundred/thousand drills first. There is no shortcut to this. If you are reluctant to listen to those with many years of experience here, I see a dim future for your progress.
I'm sorry all I read in your first paragraph is "wEH wEh, you don't sugar-coat anything and I'm offended." Drive off a cliff.

As for your second paragraph. If you're so adamant on reading the previous responses (and we're halfway intelligent about it) you would have seen me say that I did have a single unofficial tap-sparring session where I was quite comfortable.
 

ballen0351

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I'm sorry all I read in your first paragraph is "wEH wEh, you don't sugar-coat anything and I'm offended." Drive off a cliff.

As for your second paragraph. If you're so adamant on reading the previous responses (and we're halfway intelligent about it) you would have seen me say that I did have a single unofficial tap-sparring session where I was quite comfortable.
Yeah I have no idea why they wouldn't let you spar.......
 

Gerry Seymour

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I'd be astonished if there wasn't an MMA gym somewhere near, and more astonished if said gym didn't have folks sparring regularly.

At the same time, I wonder how long OP is staying at a given gym before deciding it doesn't have enough focus. If he's expecting sparring the first couple of classes, even most places I've seen that spar a lot wouldn't put a new person in sparring that soon. Some will, but not most.
 

Gerry Seymour

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Waterloo NY.

-Muay thai
-Dutch Kickboxing
-Standard Kickboxing
-Boxing.

Longest I've spent at a place was a couple months (the Dutch Kickboxing place).
And none of those did sparring? Or did they hold you back from sparring, while there was other sparring going on? Or did they simply not let you spar as much as you hoped?
 

Dirty Dog

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I'd be astonished if there wasn't an MMA gym somewhere near, and more astonished if said gym didn't have folks sparring regularly.

At the same time, I wonder how long OP is staying at a given gym before deciding it doesn't have enough focus. If he's expecting sparring the first couple of classes, even most places I've seen that spar a lot wouldn't put a new person in sparring that soon. Some will, but not most.
They listed 5-6 schools they had attended and stated that they had never stayed more than 2 months at any of them.
 

Gerry Seymour

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I would but I always freeze and my body rejects any attempts I make at striking the other person.
This is likely why they haven't had you sparring. Getting you to a point where you can respond will make sparring possible. Throwing you in while your anxiety causes you to freeze may make things worse.
 

Dirty Dog

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Agreed. My point was that I don't think it's about schools not sparring in his area.
I would be amazed if it were the schools. Frankly, with the issues they have mentioned and the attitude they have displayed, I wouldn't let them spar either.
 

Blindside

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I've done shoulder/body-tap sparring successfully before. Granted I had no idea what I was doing, and I'm sure the guy I was doing it with saw oodles in opportunities to KO me but still. That's why I say it would be better than nothing. Because I can actually start there.
So why didn't you stay with that school? One that apparently allowed you to start a type of sparring?
 
OP
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So why didn't you stay with that school? One that apparently allowed you to start a type of sparring?
It was very unofficial and they hardly ever did it.
 

drop bear

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Have you considered wrestling or bjj or something like that?

They tend to roll or spar every session.
 

wab25

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So, one of the styles I train is Shotokan. One of the main problems with Shotokan, is that there is so much variation in how each school actually trains.

In some Shotokan schools, students spar right away. And it looks like it. Yes, they are in there throwing punches and kicks... but since they can barely do the techniques... there are not using the techniques very well. Sure, you will see some of the students start regularly winning... but thats mainly because they are better at the game and know the guy they are sparring and how they play. Put this student with a new person, that they have never seen, and many times they get schooled pretty good. Not because the other guy is better, just because he is different then the people he usually spars with.

In other schools, they take the new students and bring them up to a reasonable level with the basic techniques. Then, they will do drills that simulate sparring situations. These are one step, three step, five step drills. (one attack - one defense and counter, three attacks - three defenses and a counter...) Movement and footwork drills, blocking and evading drills. These drills can slowly evolve into light sparring. Eventually, the student will be involved in sparring. Yes, this approach takes longer. But, the students usually, look like Shotokan Karate fighters as opposed to untrained people swinging away at each other.

While the first is tempting, because you get to spar sooner... you also get to make a lot of really bad habits, because not only are you not proficient in the techniques, but you are also not proficient at moving. The problem with bad habits is that they are really hard to break, especially when someone is trying to hit you.

For me, I find that it works better to learn correct stance, movement, structure and technique before trying to do those with people punching me.

Just to parrot what other folks have said... you now have a question for any new place you want to check out. How do you introduce new people to sparring? Once you know how they normally do this, you may want to bring up your issues with freezing or anxiety or whatever, and see how they respond.

Or, find an MMA gym, they tend to spar / roll right away. Thats a double edged sword though. I trained MMA for a few years, and yes I sparred right away. But, so did every other new guy. Sometimes they came in and didn't know anything and you worked them over. Sometimes they did know what they were doing and they worked you over. Sometimes, they suddenly become super wild and over aggressive, with a massive ego... then it gets a little scary, because one of you is getting hurt.

Again, ask questions up front. Realize that there are multiple ways to achieve the outcome you want and that different ways work for different people. It may be that the way that will improve your abilities the most, may be the slowest starting. But, they should at least be able to let you know the plan.
 

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