I had my shot and I failed

Ivan

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Hi guys. As you know I have been working towards joining a specific boxing amateur team for a while, improving as much as I can. They had tryouts today and, well, I didn't make the cut. I drove a mate home, who was also in the tryouts (he did make it) and though I was dejected, I thought I could handle it. But as soon as he left, I just broke down. Honestly, I haven't been this upset in a very long time. Maybe years. I drove home in tears and now I'm typing this. I guess I am just making this post so I can look back at the old days in a couple of years - I like to scroll through posts I've made over my years here and see how I've changed haha.

Honestly, I didn't expect it to hit me this hard, I've always been able to hold most things in but this just straight up hit me. I'm thinking about the mistakes I made throughout the session. Half of it was just body-sparring only, continuous rounds and partner switches with no breaks. I started off strong but I gassed out. Guess that's what I get for always wanting to be the big guy. I'm still pretty satisfied with my conditioning - it wasn't good enough, but it won't be too difficult to get to that level, especially since I've recently put on another 4-6kg of mass. I saw how some of the amateurs sparred - like fly swatters, fast with little power. Although I wasn't able to spar any amateurs that were close to my mass, it was pretty clear the difference in how I boxed and how they boxed. I constantly pushed and had them stepping backward, counter punching and making almost every single one of my partners wince from my body shots. They were very proactive and speedy. Constantly bursting out sequences of shots even if they didn't land. Amateur boxers love their points, whereas I don't mind absorbing shots so I can land my own.

I'm still quite upset. At times I did have a desire for glory and power, but in reality, I just wanted to prove to myself that I am not weak or a coward. I remember starting out boxing at my old gym in south England. Everyone was bigger and what was considered light sparring for me and them was very different. I was always scared of going back and there were many hiatuses where I was afraid to go back. I never want to be scared like that again, but I am scared, all the time, every time before every training session. Leading up to this day I was very serene. Very calm, very confident. Apart from some things I was proud of myself in the session - whenever the coaches said to do 20 pushes, I always did 22. Same for burpees etc. There was a set of sit-ups where I was unable to finish them all, which will haunt me for a while. . Maybe they disliked that I finished them last constantly.

The two coaches there were assholes. In a way, they make me relieved I didn't make the cut. Turns out there are 3 coaches in this team, not 2. The one who helps me, and these other two. One of them snapped at me at the start of the session for having my hoodie up, which I use to keep my hair up and focus. He constantly screamed at people he caught looking at him. I've watched this coach single out a person from his team during another session, and berate and belittle him in front of everyone. The other gathered all the people that tried out, and apart from the 2 who made it into the team, he told the rest of them they weren't made for it (not where the problem is). I wanted to go up and ask him for feedback to improve, but someone else who didn't make it went up to talk to him first - he just cut him off before he could say anything and literally told him to "love off". From speaking to other amateur coaches online, it seems that this team relies on you already reaching amateur level before you join, whereas the coaches I've spoken look for traits that make a good boxer and build them up. That's probably why this team is the most successful one in my city.

I remember the first coach hosted a session during Covid over a year ago which was an outside boxing session - he had another coach with him and they both critiqued me so much. One of them called me a showoff and mocked the way I wrapped my hands - "you can't learn everything on YouTube". That's why I'm here haha. I was excited to remind him at one point who I was so he could see how much I have improved, though every time I am around his team it makes me feel like all my work is fruitless.

I think I am going to start focusing on other things. Specifically grappling. There are other academies here for boxing, but in reality, I can't cope with the stress right now. I had my shot for the time being, but I think I will focus on grappling and try out for MMA. That wall I will have a good foundation in striking and grappling, and it will also give me a break from the stress and getting hit in the head. I'm so damn tired, and I guess everything up until now has led up to this, and I failed. I'll take the loss and move on. Nothing much I can do right? Though I feel this might stick with me for a while. There's a slight possibility I could have a BJJ competition over summer so I will focus on that. I can't help but feel I've disappointed everyone I ever spoke to about, excited about boxing, apart from myself. Even though its martial arts that I have a passion for, I've been dedicating myself to perfecting my boxing for the past couple of years.

At this point I'm typing away as a distraction from reality, but I've rambled on for enough. Any support would help, and I thank all of you guys for helping me on this journey. Enjoy the rest of your week.
 

Wing Woo Gar

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Hi guys. As you know I have been working towards joining a specific boxing amateur team for a while, improving as much as I can. They had tryouts today and, well, I didn't make the cut. I drove a mate home, who was also in the tryouts (he did make it) and though I was dejected, I thought I could handle it. But as soon as he left, I just broke down. Honestly, I haven't been this upset in a very long time. Maybe years. I drove home in tears and now I'm typing this. I guess I am just making this post so I can look back at the old days in a couple of years - I like to scroll through posts I've made over my years here and see how I've changed haha.

Honestly, I didn't expect it to hit me this hard, I've always been able to hold most things in but this just straight up hit me. I'm thinking about the mistakes I made throughout the session. Half of it was just body-sparring only, continuous rounds and partner switches with no breaks. I started off strong but I gassed out. Guess that's what I get for always wanting to be the big guy. I'm still pretty satisfied with my conditioning - it wasn't good enough, but it won't be too difficult to get to that level, especially since I've recently put on another 4-6kg of mass. I saw how some of the amateurs sparred - like fly swatters, fast with little power. Although I wasn't able to spar any amateurs that were close to my mass, it was pretty clear the difference in how I boxed and how they boxed. I constantly pushed and had them stepping backward, counter punching and making almost every single one of my partners wince from my body shots. They were very proactive and speedy. Constantly bursting out sequences of shots even if they didn't land. Amateur boxers love their points, whereas I don't mind absorbing shots so I can land my own.

I'm still quite upset. At times I did have a desire for glory and power, but in reality, I just wanted to prove to myself that I am not weak or a coward. I remember starting out boxing at my old gym in south England. Everyone was bigger and what was considered light sparring for me and them was very different. I was always scared of going back and there were many hiatuses where I was afraid to go back. I never want to be scared like that again, but I am scared, all the time, every time before every training session. Leading up to this day I was very serene. Very calm, very confident. Apart from some things I was proud of myself in the session - whenever the coaches said to do 20 pushes, I always did 22. Same for burpees etc. There was a set of sit-ups where I was unable to finish them all, which will haunt me for a while. . Maybe they disliked that I finished them last constantly.

The two coaches there were assholes. In a way, they make me relieved I didn't make the cut. Turns out there are 3 coaches in this team, not 2. The one who helps me, and these other two. One of them snapped at me at the start of the session for having my hoodie up, which I use to keep my hair up and focus. He constantly screamed at people he caught looking at him. I've watched this coach single out a person from his team during another session, and berate and belittle him in front of everyone. The other gathered all the people that tried out, and apart from the 2 who made it into the team, he told the rest of them they weren't made for it (not where the problem is). I wanted to go up and ask him for feedback to improve, but someone else who didn't make it went up to talk to him first - he just cut him off before he could say anything and literally told him to "love off". From speaking to other amateur coaches online, it seems that this team relies on you already reaching amateur level before you join, whereas the coaches I've spoken look for traits that make a good boxer and build them up. That's probably why this team is the most successful one in my city.

I remember the first coach hosted a session during Covid over a year ago which was an outside boxing session - he had another coach with him and they both critiqued me so much. One of them called me a showoff and mocked the way I wrapped my hands - "you can't learn everything on YouTube". That's why I'm here haha. I was excited to remind him at one point who I was so he could see how much I have improved, though every time I am around his team it makes me feel like all my work is fruitless.

I think I am going to start focusing on other things. Specifically grappling. There are other academies here for boxing, but in reality, I can't cope with the stress right now. I had my shot for the time being, but I think I will focus on grappling and try out for MMA. That wall I will have a good foundation in striking and grappling, and it will also give me a break from the stress and getting hit in the head. I'm so damn tired, and I guess everything up until now has led up to this, and I failed. I'll take the loss and move on. Nothing much I can do right? Though I feel this might stick with me for a while. There's a slight possibility I could have a BJJ competition over summer so I will focus on that. I can't help but feel I've disappointed everyone I ever spoke to about, excited about boxing, apart from myself. Even though its martial arts that I have a passion for, I've been dedicating myself to perfecting my boxing for the past couple of years.

At this point I'm typing away as a distraction from reality, but I've rambled on for enough. Any support would help, and I thank all of you guys for helping me on this journey. Enjoy the rest of your week.
Loss teaches a lot more than victory. You work hard and dont display too much ego, you are doing fine. Be patient, now be even more patient than that...
 

isshinryuronin

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It's very likely you could have beaten your opponents in an actual fight - where power counts . But, as I've mentioned several times in my posts, sport is different than combat. In sport, points count. Perhaps you were trying too hard to win the fight, rather than the match.

In this respect, you missed the cut, not because you lacked the physical ability, but because you played the game wrong. You approached it with an improper strategy for the result you were after.

Consider this possibility, and don't see your experience as a failure of fighting ability. I recommend you keep at it, but with the mindset of easing off on the power and work on scoring points. Power is good, but only if you KO the guy. Otherwise, it's points that win, especially in amateur boxing. Absorbing two strikes to land one is not a viable option in that amateur ring.

If you tailor your tactics to score points, and avoid letting the other guy score, I think you can make the team. Remember, the goal is not to out fight the other guy, but to out score him. Good luck in your MA future.
 

JowGaWolf

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I thought I could handle it. But as soon as he left, I just broke down. Honestly, I haven't been this upset in a very long time. Maybe years. I drove home in tears and now I'm typing this. I guess I am just making this post so I can look back at the old days in a couple of years - I like to scroll through posts I've made over my years here and see how I've changed haha.
Don't dwell on it. Keep training.

Honestly, I didn't expect it to hit me this hard, I've always been able to hold most things in but this just straight up hit me.
Don't hold stuff in. Let it out. Deal with the feelings head on so it doesn't rot you. You won't want to be 40 years old and have emotional issue because you kept stuff in.

Half of it was just body-sparring only, continuous rounds and partner switches with no breaks. I started off strong but I gassed out.
I'm laughing at this, because you have just experienced the same thing I went through, sparring with that Sanda School. I'll find that video of me gassing out and I know I did less than what you had to do lol. It happens. I didn't dwell on it. I used that experience as a bench mark to know the level I have to operate above. I told my Son over the weekend that we will be going hard for Monday's training which I'm about to do now.

I have other stuff to comment on, and I'll get to that when I get back from training. Basically your experience is going to boil down to "Will I let it defeat me or will I use it to make me better." If anything you now have a better understanding about the challenges you face.

You can over come it if you look at it as a learning experience. Don't look at it as failure or a win or lose issue.
 

JowGaWolf

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I'm still pretty satisfied with my conditioning - it wasn't good enough, but it won't be too difficult to get to that level, especially since I've recently put on another 4-6kg of mass
Master your own body weight before you start thinking about adding weight. Take it from me, as someone who is over weight. That extra weight comes with a price. If you naturally gain the weight then fight. But I wouldn't be going out of my way to gain the weight.

Amateur boxers love their points, whereas I don't mind absorbing shots so I can land my own.
Sometimes in boxing it's about the points. Mayweather played the point game. This is fine as long as you aren't absorbing head shots.

At times I did have a desire for glory and power, but in reality, I just wanted to prove to myself that I am not weak or a coward.
Horrible goal. In the scheme of things, no matter how many people think I suck or can't fight. There was never a question about me being weak or a coward. Stuff like that just doesn't come up. Every time someone has commented on me as being a strong person or brave, it had nothing to do with fighting. If this is what you are trying to prove, then I'm thinking that it's more of your "inner demon" Somewhere deep in your soul, you have that negative thought that you aren't strong and that your aren't brave. Believe that you are brave. Believe that you are strong. Focus on the work that is needed and the rest of that other stuff will take care of itself. Maybe someone called you weak or a coward in the past? If so, then let that go. Understand the person that you are now and not the person you were.

Everyone was bigger and what was considered light sparring for me and them was very different. I was always scared of going back and there were many hiatuses where I was afraid to go back. I never want to be scared like that again, but I am scared, all the time, every time before every training session.
Learn to meditate and clear your mind. Learn how to manage your emotions and how to cut them on an off like a light switch. I'll use myself as an example. When I do Tai Chi I clear my mind and only focus on the movement of my body. I don't try to predict, I don't try to correct as in thinking "I'm doing it wrong." If my body doesn't move as one, then I start to tune my movements until I can get everything moving as one. When I spar, I do the same thing. I focus on my opponent and how my opponent reacts to me. I only focus on movement. By being able to focus on 1 thing, you can pretty much cut off the thoughts and emotions of other things. Meditation will help you do that. You don't have to do Tai Chi for it Just learn how to meditate correctly.

I wanted to go up and ask him for feedback to improve, but someone else who didn't make it went up to talk to him first - he just cut him off before he could say anything and literally told him to "love off".
I would have asked him anyway. Just because someone else gets chewed out and belittled doesn't mean you will get treated that same way. If he does treat you that way, just smile and say "Thanks. I'll use that as my drive for getting better." Never let anyone kill your passion. When they try to do that then be more passionate about it.
"you can't learn everything on YouTube".
This is true. If you have a friend that boxes then ask him to share their knowledge with you.

I'm so damn tired, and I guess everything up until now has led up to this, and I failed.
Don't think of it as failing, think of it as walking a different path. If you have a passion for boxing, then you should still train it for yourself because you enjoy it. Even if you do grappling, it should be your passion for doing it that drives you.

I can't help but feel I've disappointed everyone I ever spoke to about, excited about boxing, apart from myself. Even though its martial arts that I have a passion for, I've been dedicating myself to perfecting my boxing for the past couple of years.
I thought you had a passion for Boxing, that's why I never went heavy on the Martial Arts with you lol.
At this point I'm typing away as a distraction from reality, but I've rambled on for enough. Any support would help, and I thank all of you guys for helping me on this journey. Enjoy the rest of your week.
You talking about it and being open about what you are feeling is the first step.
 

JowGaWolf

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Hearing how the coaches are acting its probably a blessing in disguise you didnt make it.
I'm thinking the same thing. I was responding bit by bit as I was reading. When I got to that part, I couldn't help to think. That I would rather train on my own than to deal with that emotional stress of having to put up an emotional training wall every training session. It doesn't help training when you got to mentally fight against the guy that's supposed to be coaching and the guy trying to punch you in the face.
 

drop bear

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That is not a cool set up that they had to make fighters.

You should be at least able to get trained up and have a few fights before you have the pressure of trying out for a team.

There should be enough boxing out there that you can work your way up.

Anyway hopefully the BJJ is a little bit more forgiving in that you can learn it, get good at it and compete without having To try out for a team.

Which will generally make you a lot more settled. Which will develop you better as a fighter.

Don't worry too much. You are not done yet.
 

_Simon_

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Mate.. thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. That sort of thing is just so admirable... and such a sign of strength, not weakness.

And seriously, let it all out. You don't have to hold it all in. That's not "being a man" like so many of us are unfortunately taught. Feel what you're feeling, it's okay to.

I just wanted to prove to myself that I am not weak or a coward

You tried out for an amateur boxing team. That. Is. HUGE. You are the opposite, showing a **** load of courage and strength. Seriously brother, remember that.

Yeah.... definitely a blessing you didn't have to have any more to do with those coaches. Seriously, what dropkicks, you don't need that, and you deserve better than that.

I feel like you broke down not just because of this, but deeper stuff, all intertwined and leading to this. I can tell how much martial arts means to you. Let it be your pathway of healing. Keep going. Okay?
 

Gerry Seymour

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Hi guys. As you know I have been working towards joining a specific boxing amateur team for a while, improving as much as I can. They had tryouts today and, well, I didn't make the cut. I drove a mate home, who was also in the tryouts (he did make it) and though I was dejected, I thought I could handle it. But as soon as he left, I just broke down. Honestly, I haven't been this upset in a very long time. Maybe years. I drove home in tears and now I'm typing this. I guess I am just making this post so I can look back at the old days in a couple of years - I like to scroll through posts I've made over my years here and see how I've changed haha.

Honestly, I didn't expect it to hit me this hard, I've always been able to hold most things in but this just straight up hit me. I'm thinking about the mistakes I made throughout the session. Half of it was just body-sparring only, continuous rounds and partner switches with no breaks. I started off strong but I gassed out. Guess that's what I get for always wanting to be the big guy. I'm still pretty satisfied with my conditioning - it wasn't good enough, but it won't be too difficult to get to that level, especially since I've recently put on another 4-6kg of mass. I saw how some of the amateurs sparred - like fly swatters, fast with little power. Although I wasn't able to spar any amateurs that were close to my mass, it was pretty clear the difference in how I boxed and how they boxed. I constantly pushed and had them stepping backward, counter punching and making almost every single one of my partners wince from my body shots. They were very proactive and speedy. Constantly bursting out sequences of shots even if they didn't land. Amateur boxers love their points, whereas I don't mind absorbing shots so I can land my own.

I'm still quite upset. At times I did have a desire for glory and power, but in reality, I just wanted to prove to myself that I am not weak or a coward. I remember starting out boxing at my old gym in south England. Everyone was bigger and what was considered light sparring for me and them was very different. I was always scared of going back and there were many hiatuses where I was afraid to go back. I never want to be scared like that again, but I am scared, all the time, every time before every training session. Leading up to this day I was very serene. Very calm, very confident. Apart from some things I was proud of myself in the session - whenever the coaches said to do 20 pushes, I always did 22. Same for burpees etc. There was a set of sit-ups where I was unable to finish them all, which will haunt me for a while. . Maybe they disliked that I finished them last constantly.

The two coaches there were assholes. In a way, they make me relieved I didn't make the cut. Turns out there are 3 coaches in this team, not 2. The one who helps me, and these other two. One of them snapped at me at the start of the session for having my hoodie up, which I use to keep my hair up and focus. He constantly screamed at people he caught looking at him. I've watched this coach single out a person from his team during another session, and berate and belittle him in front of everyone. The other gathered all the people that tried out, and apart from the 2 who made it into the team, he told the rest of them they weren't made for it (not where the problem is). I wanted to go up and ask him for feedback to improve, but someone else who didn't make it went up to talk to him first - he just cut him off before he could say anything and literally told him to "love off". From speaking to other amateur coaches online, it seems that this team relies on you already reaching amateur level before you join, whereas the coaches I've spoken look for traits that make a good boxer and build them up. That's probably why this team is the most successful one in my city.

I remember the first coach hosted a session during Covid over a year ago which was an outside boxing session - he had another coach with him and they both critiqued me so much. One of them called me a showoff and mocked the way I wrapped my hands - "you can't learn everything on YouTube". That's why I'm here haha. I was excited to remind him at one point who I was so he could see how much I have improved, though every time I am around his team it makes me feel like all my work is fruitless.

I think I am going to start focusing on other things. Specifically grappling. There are other academies here for boxing, but in reality, I can't cope with the stress right now. I had my shot for the time being, but I think I will focus on grappling and try out for MMA. That wall I will have a good foundation in striking and grappling, and it will also give me a break from the stress and getting hit in the head. I'm so damn tired, and I guess everything up until now has led up to this, and I failed. I'll take the loss and move on. Nothing much I can do right? Though I feel this might stick with me for a while. There's a slight possibility I could have a BJJ competition over summer so I will focus on that. I can't help but feel I've disappointed everyone I ever spoke to about, excited about boxing, apart from myself. Even though its martial arts that I have a passion for, I've been dedicating myself to perfecting my boxing for the past couple of years.

At this point I'm typing away as a distraction from reality, but I've rambled on for enough. Any support would help, and I thank all of you guys for helping me on this journey. Enjoy the rest of your week.
Both of those coaches sound like stereotypes in a movie about American football in the '50's. I have no patience with that kind of treatment, regardless of their outcome.
 
OP
Ivan

Ivan

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I'm thinking the same thing. I was responding bit by bit as I was reading. When I got to that part, I couldn't help to think. That I would rather train on my own than to deal with that emotional stress of having to put up an emotional training wall every training session. It doesn't help training when you got to mentally fight against the guy that's supposed to be coaching and the guy trying to punch you in the face.
They kicked someone out from their team just because he kept falling down during wall-sits. No ifs, no buts, no tolerance.
 

Yokozuna514

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Hey Ivan, Good on you for going out for the team you wanted to join. That takes guts to put yourself out there. There are many things you can take away from this experience and many of them have been mentioned already. I will add these though:

1) Even though boxing is an individual sport, it seems as if you are joining a competitive team. Like most teams, the coaches are looking for people that are going to add value to their program. As a coach working with players that are looking to move up to higher levels, I have always suggested that they find a way to make themselves 'valuable' to their team. In other words, do a little homework and look for things that the coaches desire to fulfill their spots. This club may not have been looking for any big guys at this time so you would have had to be a standout to be considered.

2) Research the club and try to understand their culture before trying out. Talk to people that made the team and see if there is a common thread as to why they were selected.

3) Your journey is your own and on your quest you will face some disappointment. It is normal, however, it is what we do with this disappointment that determines how we will face challenges in the future. Reminds me of quote from Vitas Gerulaitis, "Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row". It kind of explains his mindset and how he finally overcame his demons.

Good luck and keep moving forward.
 

Anarax

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Hi guys. As you know I have been working towards joining a specific boxing amateur team for a while, improving as much as I can. They had tryouts today and, well, I didn't make the cut. I drove a mate home, who was also in the tryouts (he did make it) and though I was dejected, I thought I could handle it. But as soon as he left, I just broke down. Honestly, I haven't been this upset in a very long time. Maybe years. I drove home in tears and now I'm typing this. I guess I am just making this post so I can look back at the old days in a couple of years - I like to scroll through posts I've made over my years here and see how I've changed haha.

Honestly, I didn't expect it to hit me this hard, I've always been able to hold most things in but this just straight up hit me. I'm thinking about the mistakes I made throughout the session. Half of it was just body-sparring only, continuous rounds and partner switches with no breaks. I started off strong but I gassed out. Guess that's what I get for always wanting to be the big guy. I'm still pretty satisfied with my conditioning - it wasn't good enough, but it won't be too difficult to get to that level, especially since I've recently put on another 4-6kg of mass. I saw how some of the amateurs sparred - like fly swatters, fast with little power. Although I wasn't able to spar any amateurs that were close to my mass, it was pretty clear the difference in how I boxed and how they boxed. I constantly pushed and had them stepping backward, counter punching and making almost every single one of my partners wince from my body shots. They were very proactive and speedy. Constantly bursting out sequences of shots even if they didn't land. Amateur boxers love their points, whereas I don't mind absorbing shots so I can land my own.

I'm still quite upset. At times I did have a desire for glory and power, but in reality, I just wanted to prove to myself that I am not weak or a coward. I remember starting out boxing at my old gym in south England. Everyone was bigger and what was considered light sparring for me and them was very different. I was always scared of going back and there were many hiatuses where I was afraid to go back. I never want to be scared like that again, but I am scared, all the time, every time before every training session. Leading up to this day I was very serene. Very calm, very confident. Apart from some things I was proud of myself in the session - whenever the coaches said to do 20 pushes, I always did 22. Same for burpees etc. There was a set of sit-ups where I was unable to finish them all, which will haunt me for a while. . Maybe they disliked that I finished them last constantly.

The two coaches there were assholes. In a way, they make me relieved I didn't make the cut. Turns out there are 3 coaches in this team, not 2. The one who helps me, and these other two. One of them snapped at me at the start of the session for having my hoodie up, which I use to keep my hair up and focus. He constantly screamed at people he caught looking at him. I've watched this coach single out a person from his team during another session, and berate and belittle him in front of everyone. The other gathered all the people that tried out, and apart from the 2 who made it into the team, he told the rest of them they weren't made for it (not where the problem is). I wanted to go up and ask him for feedback to improve, but someone else who didn't make it went up to talk to him first - he just cut him off before he could say anything and literally told him to "love off". From speaking to other amateur coaches online, it seems that this team relies on you already reaching amateur level before you join, whereas the coaches I've spoken look for traits that make a good boxer and build them up. That's probably why this team is the most successful one in my city.

I remember the first coach hosted a session during Covid over a year ago which was an outside boxing session - he had another coach with him and they both critiqued me so much. One of them called me a showoff and mocked the way I wrapped my hands - "you can't learn everything on YouTube". That's why I'm here haha. I was excited to remind him at one point who I was so he could see how much I have improved, though every time I am around his team it makes me feel like all my work is fruitless.

I think I am going to start focusing on other things. Specifically grappling. There are other academies here for boxing, but in reality, I can't cope with the stress right now. I had my shot for the time being, but I think I will focus on grappling and try out for MMA. That wall I will have a good foundation in striking and grappling, and it will also give me a break from the stress and getting hit in the head. I'm so damn tired, and I guess everything up until now has led up to this, and I failed. I'll take the loss and move on. Nothing much I can do right? Though I feel this might stick with me for a while. There's a slight possibility I could have a BJJ competition over summer so I will focus on that. I can't help but feel I've disappointed everyone I ever spoke to about, excited about boxing, apart from myself. Even though its martial arts that I have a passion for, I've been dedicating myself to perfecting my boxing for the past couple of years.

At this point I'm typing away as a distraction from reality, but I've rambled on for enough. Any support would help, and I thank all of you guys for helping me on this journey. Enjoy the rest of your week.
It's human nature for rejection in any form(professional, romantic, competitive, etc) to feel bad. We learn from our setbacks or "failures". Some of the most successful people in life have written books, given interviews and shared personally on how they failed their way to success. This is only a setback if you keep training and working towards your goal. I've lost tournaments in front of my entire Dojo and instructors, you keep pushing forward and learn from your experience. There are such a thing as sports Psychologists for a reason, the pressure sports and competition puts on the human mind is tremendous. You'll do well Ivan, just keep doing what you've been doing brother and hang in there.
 

drop bear

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They kicked someone out from their team just because he kept falling down during wall-sits. No ifs, no buts, no tolerance.

I am still confused. What is so special about this team? Are they like trying out for the Olympics or something?

I mean I have had mates who have represented Australia in combat sports and fair enough you have to try out and be the business to do that.

But you are trying at this stage to be a first time fighter. You have to be that good when you start. And boxing especially I have known guys who compete every weekend. There are shows on all the time.

There has to be clubs that are a better introduction to combat sports than what you are doing.

I am thinking even clubs that have pro fight teams that you need to try out for. Train fighters not in those teams.

Tiger muay Thai has try outs. But you can still train and have a fight without having to do that.
 
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JowGaWolf

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I am still confused. What is so special about this team? Are they like trying out for the Olympics or something?

I mean I have had mates who have represented Australia in combat sports and fair enough you have to try out and be the business to do that.

But you are trying at this stage to be a first time fighter. You have to be that good when you start. And boxing especially I have known guys who compete every weekend. There are shows on all the time.

There has to be clubs that are a better introduction to combat sports than what you are doing.

I am thinking even clubs that have pro fight teams that you need to try out for. Train fighters not in those teams.

Tiger muay Thai has try outs. But you can still train and have a fight without having to do that.
When he told me about the team I was thinking more along the lines that they would train others like in a boxing gym and from there the fighters earn their way ( through training) into competitive fights. This sounds more like competitive school sports where people have to make the cut.

I guess the word "Clubs" have a different meaning there.
 

skribs

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I think the biggest piece is that you continue doing something active. It doesn't even have to be martial arts. Just stay active. You don't want to end up like me in my 20s. Desk job and a video game addiction, I gained 50 pounds in 5 years; 70 of which was fat. (Yes, my math is correct). It doesn't sound like that's going to happen. I'm just echoing that for you.

A change of pace can be a good thing. Some people equate "never give up" with "I must do this thing until I meet my original goal." Changing gears and doing something else isn't giving up or admitting defeat. It's starting the next chapter. Giving up would mean to fail my original advice and shut yourself off entirely. Redirecting your martial arts pursuits to grappling is a perfectly reasonable choice to make.

After a day or two, you may realize you still want to go for boxing, and try out for another boxing team. If not, good luck in grappling.
 

CB Jones

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Keep in mind it's a try out....the coaches aren't there to help develop or encourage. They are there to evaluate and fill spots.

If you don't get recruited... move on and keep training. There are always other opportunities.
 

JowGaWolf

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Keep in mind it's a try out....the coaches aren't there to help develop or encourage. They are there to evaluate and fill spots.

If you don't get recruited... move on and keep training. There are always other opportunities.
If I had known there were cuts involved, I would have offered some other suggestions. I've played on team sports that cut athletes and it was always the same, don't be the guy that gasses out. Every sport that I tried out for, I understood that I had to train to be on the team. I knew I wasn't going to be the best, but I definitely wasn't going to be that guy that hit empty after 10 minutes.

When I was in college, I played for a Lacrosse Club. Never played before in my life. I was interested and they took me in and helped me with my training. I sucked, but there were no cuts. Eventually I got better, but many of those guys had been playing for more than 10 years and I was as fresh as 30 second baby poo.
 

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A lot of learning anything worthwhile is about (building) resilience. If learning a fighting art/Budo/PhD was easy then everyone would be expert and they would be of little worth. Not being selected/failing a grading examination/your key experiment not supporting your hypothesis is transiently devastating. But you need to consciously turn the disappointment into tanden - a forging process, assess yourself, fix any shortcomings and push on ahead. It is this ability that demarcates the successes from those that also ran or the Budoka from the once a week hobbies. Do not blame others for unrealised achievement, however tempting. As Confucius suggested, that is the trait of a child. Naturally you are upset and perhaps this emotion has overwhelmed you, but keep it in check, or at the very least keep it private, and look to the future. You can succeed, but you may not. This is one of the lessons of a fulfilled life.

Chin up and carry on! It is the only way
 
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