Dungeons and Dragons humor

Grenadier

Sr. Grandmaster
Lifetime Supporting Member
MTS Alumni
For those of you who play, or have played the game of Dungeons and Dragons, here's a bit of humor for you.

A group of adventurers were debating about what tactics they were going to use to destroy a demi-lich, which is essentially nothing more than a floating skull that can blast your entire party with unpleasant magical effects, being the remnants of a lich (skeletal mage).

One of the players in the group says "Well, I'm a paladin, so I'm going to use my 'Smite Evil' power on him to deal out some more damage than any of you could. Therefore, I'm going to smite his ***."

One of the other players in the group, being a Wizard, says "Uh, that's not going to work."

The paladin then angrily demands "Why not?!?"

The wizard says "he doesn't have one..."
 
Hmmmm, I thought (* From expereince *)

Wizard: "Wait! Let me see if I can trade him for a new spell first."
 
I'm shocked and offended that a Paladin would utter the word ***. :uhoh:

I am not. I once heard a paladin say this:
" I need to pay the curch it`s cut from the treasure we found. Where is that f(beep)ing temple again?"
 
:idunno: Must have been a Ravenloft paladin. :D
 
I just think this guy had a problem keeping the paladin and his own personality separate.. one time when buying a new set of armor he reached for his wallet and tried to pay the gamemaster (me) in real cash
 
Now that's just scary.

Hope he had real gold pieces....LOL! Just kidding...
 
Hope he had real gold pieces....LOL! Just kidding...

Nope, no Cormyrean Gold Lions. Actually that was when his eyes lit up with understanding.

Well sweet water and light laughter. I`m off to milk the catoblepas and make some death cheese.
 
Nope, no Cormyrean Gold Lions. Actually that was when his eyes lit up with understanding.

Well sweet water and light laughter. I`m off to milk the catoblepas and make some death cheese.


Gotta love those Forgotten Realms, though I'm a diehard Ravenloft fan myself.
 
Gotta love those Forgotten Realms, though I'm a diehard Ravenloft fan myself.

I always thought that Ravenloft was pretty cool, being a horror fan... that is, until my high lvl druid was thrown in there and practically rendered impotent.
I got pissed halfway through the 2nd session and attempted a suicide run on one of the Realm Lords (Strahd. Yeah, I really wanted to die). I got over it, though. A week later we were in Dark Sun, and the dwarves suffered. Oh yes, they suffered!
 
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