Dating in the Dojo

[Feisty Mouse]

Wow. I guess I'm really fortunate - I've never seen anything like this in a training studio. Yikes.

 

[Flatlander]

There's a couple at our dojo who are always slobbering over eachother, before, during, and after class, and infront of the juniors which really annoys me! But, our senior class is down to 6 students now, so I daren't really say anything to them to annoy them as if they go I'll be down to 4!

Ian.

I think you should still say something. Better to stand up for your principles than lay down and let your students run over you. I think keeping quiet about this if it makes you uncomfortable is wrong. Please, no offense intended, Barber.

Dan

 

[Ceicei]

There's a couple at our dojo who are always slobbering over eachother, before, during, and after class, and infront of the juniors which really annoys me! But, our senior class is down to 6 students now, so I daren't really say anything to them to annoy them as if they go I'll be down to 4!

Ian.

I think you should still say something. Better to stand up for your principles than lay down and let your students run over you. I think keeping quiet about this if it makes you uncomfortable is wrong. Please, no offense intended, Barber.

Dan

I agree with Flatlander. PDA in a dojo is poor behavior, and to allow it to happen gives the impression of little/no discipline expected by the instructors. If they insist on slobbering over each other, it will need to be on their own time, elsewhere, not at the dojo.

If they cannot control themselves, then they need to start learning now.

- Ceicei

 

[TKD USA]

Ooo. Dojo love. Sounds like a bad movie

 

[Chrono]

There's a couple at our dojo who are always slobbering over eachother, before, during, and after class, and infront of the juniors which really annoys me! But, our senior class is down to 6 students now, so I daren't really say anything to them to annoy them as if they go I'll be down to 4!

Ian.

Dang, Ian, we don't have that in our school. I mean, they flirt with each other, of course, but no more than that. The only kind of PDA we do is give hugs. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[satans.barber]

I spoke to one of my seniors about this last night, and he said that it annoys him and he's also seen the parents looking non-too-happy about it, so I think I'll say something about next week!

Ian.

 

[jeffkyle]

Ooo. Dojo love. Sounds like a bad movie

.......from the 70's!

 

[Flatlander]

Bow Chicka Chick Chicka Wow Wow

 

[Ceicei]

I spoke to one of my seniors about this last night, and he said that it annoys him and he's also seen the parents looking non-too-happy about it, so I think I'll say something about next week!

Ian.

We, the curious, would like an update of your situation. Has the lovey-dovey issue been resolved? Are these two students still training there?

- Ceicei

 

[Sarah]

I was talking to a classmate about something similar the other day. We are yellow belt, green tips and there is no one in our class that started with a partner, i.e. we all come alone on our first day, most of us have become strong friends and enjoy training together.

The grade ahead of us 'the green belts' are not quite as social, a majority of them train with there other half. They are friendly people; they just are not quite as approachable.

This could be because when you go alone you partner up with different people, therefore getting to know more people. If you were there with your other half, you would tend to partner with them all the time.

 

[satans.barber]

We, the curious, would like an update of your situation. Has the lovey-dovey issue been resolved? Are these two students still training there?

- Ceicei

Well, I raised it at the meeting (pub trip!) last week and said I thought it was a problem but I didn't know how to approach it, and one of the other instructors said that he'd say something to them...so it's out of my hands now!

Ian.

 

[Chrono]

Well, I would weigh in with a "why not?" again, assuming that you would be OK to train there if things didn't work out.

It's a good thing you think so, because things have been getting hot and I'm not exactly talking about the weather.

P.S. Things aren't as "hot" as it was made to sound. That's the only phrase I could think that fit. Sorry for any confusion.

 

[gyaku-zuki queen]

wow the subject kinda changed from the beggining.. haha.. well im my opinion from the frist post in this thread, it doesnt really matter.. think of it like if your at school or something. people dated who they met in school, and in the dojo your learning too. so it will either go good, and it'll work, or if it doesnt work, it will be the same thing pretty much that happens in school for some people. you cant concentrate at school, you cant concentrate at the dojo. .. kno wut i'm sayin?

 

[shaolinchi]

i agree with gyaku, i've been trying to get my fiancee to come in for classes forever now...and just as she decides to, my instructor didn't think it was a good idea! grrr, not his decision to make, but still. And he met his wife in the dojo, so I don't get it! But still, I really want her to come in

 

[Ronald R. Harbers]

If I was a single man, I'd go out with any woman who asked me! We could always spar!!!

 

[Adept]

My cousin recently got married to a girl he met through training. It's not so bad. I wouldnt even equate it to dating someone at school. More like dating someone at work. Dating an instructor is more like dating your boss, or your personal trainer, or your tennis coach than anything else. So long as all the age bases are covered, then go for it.

But like anything, think it through. If it all goes to the crapper, will you be able to train at the same place, or will one of you need to leave? If so, who?

 

[Blooming Lotus]

The one who's uncomfortable enough with it to leave.



one hundred and however many posts is a long thread to read through, so I haven't read it all, but I don't see what the issue is. You obviously have things in common and likely ( okay, well possibly ) lead a similar lifestyle. Could be the start of something very beautiful for both, but I would recommend that to actually get into a relationship it should be based on at least a few other common denominators and interests outside of ma. Or just take the sex for what it is and come what may, enjoy your training for what it is , never the twine to cross

BTW : No problem with dating shifu either ( providing he wasn't a monk , a she or married )and he didn't have an urge to go easy on me during class (... which'd btw be both a breakupable offence from lack of respect and worthy of finding a new teacher ). But if I were shifu and noticed a relationship happening, I would be okay with it providing it wasn't effecting my class. In a sour breakup I'd proabably give them a very slight cool off period and if it got to be too much of a distraction for other students, I'd ask one or both to leave...okay, maybe I'd pull them aside and have a chat with them first, because as a long time instructor and teacher of various things, I guess anywhere but McDojo, and to be fair, I feel there is a slight duty of care, but if I wanted to be a counsellor, that's what I'd be doing.

Blooming Lotus

 

[AnimEdge]

What about if you get your 'other' to start going?
I was going out with my GF 2 years before we started going (i dragged her) and she seams to be injoining it and is getting quite good, but i can understand some tension that accures when one of us must spar or do some close tech. with people of the oppisite but we are both loving it and love each other so party on i think anyways gives us a ecuse to roll around in class

 

[Blooming Lotus]

As long as you can seperate the relationship from the lesson while you're in class I can't see a problem myself.. but then I'm a bit of of school , so really, what would I know ???



Blooming Lotus

 

[Kreth]

PDA in a dojo is poor behavior

Sorry to revive an old post, but I've just realized that I'm an uber-geek. I read this post as I was browsing the thread, and couldn't understand why someone would object to a Palm Pilot in the dojo...

Jeff