Five Big Relationship Myths

[MA-Caver]

Found this rawther interesting... I copied their poll for MT users to get OUR take on it... go to the link to vote to them... but lets see what MT-ers have to say eh?

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/static/dating-advice_dating_myths More lore about dating has passed from woman to woman and man to man than probably any other human endeavor, all in an attempt to help one sex figure out what the other is thinking or likely to do.

Now Maxim.com and Tango magazine have teamed to sort out some dating fictions from facts. From wanting to date the reincarnation of your parents to being friends with an ex, Tango magazine and Maxim.com researched a variety of dating conceptions singles hold near and dear. Yahoo! Personals also asked its members to chime in. Here's what we've found:
1. Men and women can be "just friends"

Marnie Hanel of Tango magazine says, "Sure, men and women can be friends -- as long as the dynamic falls into one of four categories: 1) the friends explore their, ahem, benefits -- and realize that they like each other b
etter with their clothes on; 2) one of the parties is gay; 3) there are significant others involved and romantic -- and sexual -- needs are taken care of at home; 4) you’re just not that into each other -- in that way."

Jordan Burchette of Maxim.com agrees, "as long as they're from your kindergarten class, an ex, or are gay. It also helps if they're 'majorly unattracted' to each other. Tall order? Umm, yes," he says, "but we’re convinced that if they don’t fit in one of those categories, they’ll be double dipping their chip in no time."

2. Men don't express feelings in front of their friends

"Men are people too," says Tango's Hanel, "so while they may not outline every dirty detail of their emotions, they will dish -- in their own way -- with their close guy friends." She says there may be no tears, Cosmopolitans, or Ben and Jerry’s, but a couple of beers, a game of pool, or a good quarter of football can have an equally soothing effect on a distraught dude.

"With rare exceptions," Maxim.com's Burchette says, "we fully believe men make a conscience decision to not express their feelings in front of their friends." Some men, he says, especially those from the Midwest, pride themselves on never having cried in front of anyone -- ever. Do women like these cyborgs? To tell the truth, Burchette says, we don't think they mind it. "It's better not to cry then have to break out a box of lotioned Kleenex, so watch out sissy boy!"

3. Women take longer to get ready than men

Tango's Hanel says, "Of course we do. If you had 35 pairs of shoes and 17 varieties of lip liner to choose from, you’d be tardy too. Although living in a post-metrosexual world has given us men who moisturize regularly, spend $100 on a haircut and who can be found gazing in the mirror at five minutes past their dinner reservation."

Burchette of Maxim.com disagrees, "Even though women take forever to get ready (they have way more area per square inch to shave), men are the ones who are always late. Does this ring a bell? 'Honey, I'm finnne. It'll take me five minutes to get ready -- promise.' Never happens. Whether we’re busy manscaping our facial hair or trying to find a special shirt she loves is we’re always running a little behind."

4. Men/women can be friends with their ex

Tango's Hanel says that for both men and women, it's a classic case of dumper vs. dumpee. "Those who initiate breakups are decidedly more enthusiastic about inviting their exes over for dinner parties and meeting up for picnics in the park," she says. "The ones who are rejected are left with bruised egos, old love letters, and mutilated photos (why does it feel so good to cut his head out of every shot from your Puerto Rican vacation?)."

"Maintaining a friendship with the ex is easier than it sounds," says Burchette of Maxim.com, "especially if you're the one who did the dumping. After all, you broke up with them for a reason, right? And if it was because they're bad in bed, then you might have the bestest friend ever made! If you got a K-fed-style text message, kicking your butt to the curb, then being buds probably isn’t in the foreseeable future."

5. Women forgive, not forget; men forget, not forgive

"We have two words for you: Lorena Bobbit," says Tango's Hanel. "Make no mistake: women neither forgive nor forget. Men, on the other hand, will often let bygones be bygones -- especially if they’re offered payback of the intimate variety."

Burchette of Maxim.com says, "Men's inability to remember birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or grudges has yet to be scientifically proven, but trust us, it's a very real and scary disease. That said we are prone to still being angry five months later, though we have no recollection of why we’re so mad in the first place."
Want to check out more dating myths? See the reports at Maxim.com and Tangomag.com.

What was your favorite myth and why ?

 

[Kacey]

#1 - especially having just spent most of the day with my best friend, who happens to be male - and neither of us are gay! We tried dating, and it nearly ruined a wonderful friendship... we've been friends since 1994.

 

[MA-Caver]

I've had dozens of (non-sexual) relationships/friendships with girls/women over the years. Only a few of them (and I) were "curious" but never carried it through...talked about it, but we were (both) afraid to spoil a good thing. Some of these "friends" were quite attractive.

At times it gets frustrating but it just was me, but all in all I've been happy with the platonic friendships I've had over the years... so it IS possible. Guys just need to find their... umm, release elsewhere. I've found out you can learn a lot about women ... but I'm still not an expert.

No man ever will be...

 

[Shaderon]

For me, Women are looking to marry thier fathers...

No thank you!!!! I don't get on with my father, I can't talk to him and we constantly argue, he's pig headed and is always telling me I am bringing up my daughter wrong. If my husband was like that, I would have never have married him!

 

[MBuzzy]

men/women can be friends with their ex?
No way! Once you have been together like that, you will never be able to go back. there will always be some kind of resentment or the temptation to go back to something familiar.

 

[Sukerkin]

There's a lot to choose from in that list :lol:.

Of all of them tho', I have to say that the one that rings the most false (and, hence, most mythical) is the "Thin women" fallacy.

Maybe it's because I'm in my middle years now and thus have a little less 'hormone tyranny' flooding through my veins but I settled down with my missus because I love who she is not what shape she is (tho' that shape is most pleasant to snuggle up to on a cold winters night ).

 

[bushidomartialarts]

men and women can be 'just friends' under the following circumstances only:

1. they have already had sex and decided to stop doing so.

2. one or both are in a truly committed relationship (not a marriage where they feel like they can fool around, but a real relationship where they won't cheat).

otherwise, it's a certainty that one, the other or both are spending some amount of personal energy on the possibility of some 'friends with benefits' action at the very least.

 

[Kacey]

men and women can be 'just friends' under the following circumstances only:

1. they have already had sex and decided to stop doing so.

2. one or both are in a truly committed relationship (not a marriage where they feel like they can fool around, but a real relationship where they won't cheat).

otherwise, it's a certainty that one, the other or both are spending some amount of personal energy on the possibility of some 'friends with benefits' action at the very least.

I disagree - I have plenty of male friends who I am not attracted to, who are not attracted to me, and who are not in relationships (and neither am I). Perhaps it's related to age - at 41, I value long-term friendship above short-term "benefits" much more than I used to.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

I disagree - I have plenty of male friends who I am not attracted to, who are not attracted to me, and who are not in relationships (and neither am I). Perhaps it's related to age - at 41, I value long-term friendship above short-term "benefits" much more than I used to.

It may very well be an age thing. My experience outside of option 2 was during my 20s.

On the other hand, I'd bet you steak and a beer that most of these male friends of yours were attracted to you at one point. Seriously. Ask 'em.

Perhaps a better way of putting my earlier point would be to revise choice 1 as follows:

1. The idea of having sex or being romantic has been raised and tabled at some point during the friendship.