can life just be normal for like, 3 weeks?

[Bigshadow]

Sam, sorry to hear about your father. I hope everything turns out OK.

As for everything else. Life is full of choices and decisions. You must always try to make the BEST decision for yourself and of course live with the consequences. Some choices have long term effects and often times their effects are not seen until years after the decision has been made. So be very careful with decisions. There has been some very good advice given here.

Gain your financial independence first and then you can pursue your dreams. A quick note from my past, the art I am training in was something I wanted to do when I was a teen, but at that time I did not have the means to gain that training, even though I had the desire and gusto to do it. As life would have it, as an adult many years from my teens with the means, that dream became a reality. Karate will be there for you when you are ready.

Remember, success is the point where opportunity meets preparedness. People often have opportunities around them, just they do not see them because they are not prepared. Ironic... That is kind of like training...

Good luck, I am sure you will do just fine.

 

[JBrainard]

Umm, she's not quite 18 yet and thus laws state she's unable to get her OWN place until then. As long as she's with a family member she's okay living out of the "home".
Just FYI

Ahh... Didn't have that bit o' information. She should heed Technopunk's words, though.

 

[evenflow1121]

I havent been very active lately on MT, which sucks.

My father recently had a heart attack and a stroke (at the same time), and is in a skilled nursing facility. He doesn't have any (apparent) brain damage, but there is something definitely wrong with him. They arent sure if he will lbe able to live on his own again.

I ended up in the hospital myself for a few days, which was a miserable experience.

I now live with my sister, who lives 10 (ten!) miles from my karate studio. The conditions of living with her are, putting $200 a week aside, going to school, (which my parents won't help me pay for), and... quitting karate.

QUIT KARATE??

She thinks I put karate first, and school and work should come first.
We compromised, and now I can go to karate ONE day a week.

If I was a horse, a decent owner would've shot me by now.

My school has a sister school where I can train if I want, 3.12 miles from my house... I mapquested it. I biked there (and back) this evening to train.

The hardest thing is going to be working enough to put aside $200 a week as well as have left over cash for lessons and tournaments, and any recreational stuff... movies, fast food, etc etc. That, and going to karate at this other studio without getting caught.

My sister would be furious with me.

I think it was unfair of her asking me to quit karate... and I dont know how I am going to work that much.

I don't know what the point of this post was, I guess to tell everyone where I've been.

Can't life just be boring for 3 weeks?

Sam I am, I am really sorry about whats happening in your life right now, and yes going through an experience like that in the hospital can be a terrible experience. You know it really sucks when things like this happen to dedicated and eager students like you, you see what happens to people like yourself and how many others out there take their training for granted or would definately not bike the 3.1 miles to get to the other school.

In any event, me being about 10 yrs older than you, I would say, that your sister is CORRECT. Sounds harsh, but School is definately more important and work, well that is self explanatory. I had to put off martial arts for 7 years to get my degree (and umm no I am not like Tommy Boy, my degree took 7 years to complete). And you know what, as much as I love martial arts, I do not regret it. Now I have all the time in the world to practice. Look, in this world, you need an education and you should pursue some sort of degree after high school, may be not for 7 years =) but definately something. I know it is not what you want to hear, and I really wish I could tell you other wise, but I would be lying to you if I said that, Sam should definately NOT put your martial arts training above your education. Good luck Sam, my prayers are with you.

 

[Sam]

I quit on thursday.

My sister should be happy.

 

[Jonathan Randall]

I quit on thursday.

My sister should be happy.

Now do whatever it responsibly takes to become financially independent of her and anyone else who would dictate to you how to live your life. Then go back to karate - on your terms.

Experience has taught me that you need a comfortably sized bank account and a decent income in order to be able to tell people where to take their advice and ultimatums.

You have my best wishes - I know that you will persevere and come back twice as strong as before.

 

[pstarr]

Sam-

At this point in your life, school is more important than karate. I know it doesn't FEEL that way but it's true. And anyway, if you want to excel in karate you're going to need a solid education under your belt.

For real.

Things like physics, math, psych, biology, and even English will be very important in the future.

If possible, don't completely quit your karate. Just fit it in where and when you can for now during this difficult and awkward time. Your family needs you - probably more than they are saying.

Don't give up. NEVER, ever give up.

But sometimes you just have to rearrange your priorities for a while...

 

[Jonathan Randall]

Sam-

At this point in your life, school is more important than karate. I know it doesn't FEEL that way but it's true. And anyway, if you want to excel in karate you're going to need a solid education under your belt.

For real.

Things like physics, math, psych, biology, and even English will be very important in the future.

If possible, don't completely quit your karate. Just fit it in where and when you can for now during this difficult and awkward time. Your family needs you - probably more than they are saying.

Don't give up. NEVER, ever give up.

But sometimes you just have to rearrange your priorities for a while...

Well said. My Tai Chi instructor, the late Mr. Tri held advanced degrees and taught at the University. My TSD teacher held a master's degree in administration. One of my Kenpo instructor had a doctorate.

 

[Kacey]

Sam -

I going to start by asking a question no one else seems to have asked... what is the $200 for? Is your sister forcing you to save money (for school or other future expenses), or is she charging for rent and food? Saving is a great thing, and everyone needs to do it - something I wish I had learned at your age. If she's charging you rent and/or for food... well... my opinion of that depends on her own financial status.

Why is she going to be happy that you quit your job? And how's the karate situation coming? I seem to have missed this thread while I was on vacation, sorry if I'm asking about things others might have covered already.

 

[Swordlady]

Hang in there, my dear. Remember that this situation with your sister is temporary, and this too shall pass...

 

[Jade Tigress]

Now do whatever it responsibly takes to become financially independent of her and anyone else who would dictate to you how to live your life. Then go back to karate - on your terms.

Experience has taught me that you need a comfortably sized bank account and a decent income in order to be able to tell people where to take their advice and ultimatums.

You have my best wishes - I know that you will persevere and come back twice as strong as before.

Sam-

At this point in your life, school is more important than karate. I know it doesn't FEEL that way but it's true. And anyway, if you want to excel in karate you're going to need a solid education under your belt.

For real.

Things like physics, math, psych, biology, and even English will be very important in the future.

If possible, don't completely quit your karate. Just fit it in where and when you can for now during this difficult and awkward time. Your family needs you - probably more than they are saying.

Don't give up. NEVER, ever give up.

But sometimes you just have to rearrange your priorities for a while...

What they both said Sam. Hang in there. *hugs*

 

[Sam]

Sam -

I going to start by asking a question no one else seems to have asked... what is the $200 for? Is your sister forcing you to save money (for school or other future expenses), or is she charging for rent and food? Saving is a great thing, and everyone needs to do it - something I wish I had learned at your age. If she's charging you rent and/or for food... well... my opinion of that depends on her own financial status.

Why is she going to be happy that you quit your job? And how's the karate situation coming? I seem to have missed this thread while I was on vacation, sorry if I'm asking about things others might have covered already.

I didnt quit any of my jobs. I quit karate.

she's saving the money for me.

 

[shesulsa]

I didnt quit any of my jobs. I quit karate.

she's saving the money for me.

At least she's saving it for you and not spending it on whatever she feels like.

Sam ... you're reading a lot of stuff here that you don't wanna hear, I know. It sure sounds like your sister is looking out for your financial well-being. You just really need to have financial stability in place if you're eventually going to be on your own, Sam. And trust me ... you do not want to experience the consequences of being an adult and not financially stable. If you feel humiliated right now, it would be far, far worse.

I've been in a spot where I couldn't train because of finances too. So you practice what you know, you continue reading and mentally training, you find higher ranking friends from class who will work with you on the side.

Chin up, face to the wind. You'll get through this.

 

[Kacey]

I didnt quit any of my jobs. I quit karate.

she's saving the money for me.

Sorry, I misunderstood... saving money is good; it means that when you're old enough, you'll have a cushion to move out on your own with.

Karate will still be there when you have the time and money to participate again, as hard as that is to hear right now.

 

[donna]

At least she's saving it for you and not spending it on whatever she feels like.

Sam ... you're reading a lot of stuff here that you don't wanna hear, I know. It sure sounds like your sister is looking out for your financial well-being. You just really need to have financial stability in place if you're eventually going to be on your own, Sam. And trust me ... you do not want to experience the consequences of being an adult and not financially stable. If you feel humiliated right now, it would be far, far worse.

I've been in a spot where I couldn't train because of finances too. So you practice what you know, you continue reading and mentally training, you find higher ranking friends from class who will work with you on the side.

Chin up, face to the wind. You'll get through this.

Really good advice, Hang in there Sam. Tough times do make you stronger even though it is really hard at the time. Like Shesulsa said, practice what you know, read what you can and add this to your Karate knowledge.
My best wishes to your Dad, hope he feels better, keep positive for him as this will help him recover too.

 

[Sam]

I un-quit this saturday.

A 7th dan called me and told me I was "not allowed" to quit and they gave me 5 months tuition for free.

 

[Kacey]

I un-quit this saturday.

A 7th dan called me and told me I was "not allowed" to quit and they gave me 5 months tuition for free.

It's always nice to be appreciated! Congratulations.

 

[MA-Caver]

I un-quit this saturday.

A 7th dan called me and told me I was "not allowed" to quit and they gave me 5 months tuition for free.

Obviously your instructor(s) seem to think you got a hellva lot more potential to explore and grow into for you to quit. You gotten a good deal to be sure... But it says a lot about your instructors to want you to stay bad enough to offer you five months free. They see things in you that you don't.
Run with it, learn as much as you can during those months (and of course beyond).

:asian:

 

[shesulsa]

I un-quit this saturday.

A 7th dan called me and told me I was "not allowed" to quit and they gave me 5 months tuition for free.

artyon:artyon:

 

[Swordlady]

I un-quit this saturday.

A 7th dan called me and told me I was "not allowed" to quit and they gave me 5 months tuition for free.

Oh wow...that is EXCELLENT news, Sam! Your instructors must really like you a lot to give you five months of free lessons. I'm glad that *something* is working out for you.

 

[Lisa]

I un-quit this saturday.

A 7th dan called me and told me I was "not allowed" to quit and they gave me 5 months tuition for free.

Sam that is just...wow....wow. I am so glad for you. I would have hated to see you have to lose something that is so important to you.