can life just be normal for like, 3 weeks?

[Sam]

I havent been very active lately on MT, which sucks.

My father recently had a heart attack and a stroke (at the same time), and is in a skilled nursing facility. He doesn't have any (apparent) brain damage, but there is something definitely wrong with him. They arent sure if he will lbe able to live on his own again.

I ended up in the hospital myself for a few days, which was a miserable experience.

I now live with my sister, who lives 10 (ten!) miles from my karate studio. The conditions of living with her are, putting $200 a week aside, going to school, (which my parents won't help me pay for), and... quitting karate.

QUIT KARATE??

She thinks I put karate first, and school and work should come first.
We compromised, and now I can go to karate ONE day a week.

If I was a horse, a decent owner would've shot me by now.

My school has a sister school where I can train if I want, 3.12 miles from my house... I mapquested it. I biked there (and back) this evening to train.

The hardest thing is going to be working enough to put aside $200 a week as well as have left over cash for lessons and tournaments, and any recreational stuff... movies, fast food, etc etc. That, and going to karate at this other studio without getting caught.

My sister would be furious with me.

I think it was unfair of her asking me to quit karate... and I dont know how I am going to work that much.

I don't know what the point of this post was, I guess to tell everyone where I've been.

Can't life just be boring for 3 weeks?

 

[Jonathan Randall]

I'm sorry to hear about your father's medical problems. Hope he gets well soon!

Hate to say this, Sam, but I'd trade the energy I put into martial arts when I was in college for a more focused COLLEGE experience in a heartbeat. Here's the advice:

Study a specific PROFESSION or a TRADE in school that will give you financial independence. Work hard, graduate as early as possible with a marketable diploma or degree in a field that is highly sought after by employees, get a GREAT paying job, move out on your own and THEN put your efforts into Karate. Get some independence and financial security first. Then you can AFFORD all the private lessons and tournaments you want. The past two years has given you a firm foundation that you can later build upon and the intensity, focus and discipline that got you where you are today in karate can get you out on your own with a nice secure job and bank account. Then you can do WHAT YOU WANT. Right now, you're like a petal blowing in the wind - at the whimsy of family and fate.

 

[shesulsa]

Hey, Sam. This all sucks. It's just terrible all this crap has come down on you. I hope your health is okay.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, try to talk to someone face to face - it may be hard, but it will make all the difference in the world, trust me.

You know, someone mentioned to me that another person they knew thought I would make this stuff up, like it was just too much. So from one unlucky person to another, keep your chin up. You CAN make it and life will become easier for you one day.

Jonathan's advice, though it's SO not what you want to hear, is correct. You're going to need the college for daily living. The martial arts will be there later when you have more freedoms.

PM or email me anytime.

 

[MA-Caver]

Jonathan and Georgia both put in good enough advice that I don't really need to expound upon or add to except that I'm behind it because it's sound advice.
As I see it your life is no more unluckier than my own at this point. Just different. One of the best things you got for you right now is your youth. All of this crap you've been experiencing is gonna make you stronger for the road that yet lies before you. The hardest thing I think is choosing the right one. The best thing about that is that there's always, always a means to switch roads if you find you've gone down the wrong one.
I'm at that junction right now and am going to have to switch roads. The way I see it, I can always take with me my experiences and my friends with me where-ever I go. Nothing is forever except time and for you ... well, you got more of it than I do. Make the best of it.

You'll be alright keed. I know you will.

((((HUGS))))

 

[Carol]

Sam,

The struggle you are experiencing now will not last a few weeks. If you do not get a proper edcuation now it will haunt you for all of your life...always coming between what you must do to survive, and what you want to do. Don't squander your future. A good education pays off over and over and over and over again.

 

[Hand Sword]

Sam,

The struggle you are experiencing now will not last a few weeks. If you do not get a proper edcuation now it will haunt you for all of your life...always coming between what you must do to survive, and what you want to do. Don't squander your future. A good education pays off over and over and over and over again.

AMEN TO THIS!!!

 

[Drac]

The martial arts will be there later when you have more freedoms

Sorry to hear about your Dad, hope he's on the mend..It's NEVER easy being asked to quit or put aside someting you love, I know because I've been there..shesulsa's post says it better than I could...

 

[HKphooey]

Sam, sorry to hear about your dad.

You are way to young to have to have so many worries going through your head. As much as it pains me to say, karate will always be there...There

 

[HKphooey]

EDIT sorry double post

 

[terryl965]

Sam soory about your father, you are always on the edge of contriversy! Maybe putting a side Karate for a year or so will help you find the path of life. I know how hard you want it, but sometimes a path may stray for a bit before the journey of life can continue.
Best of luck
Your friend in life
Terry

 

[Swordlady]

Samantha...something that may help you is figuring out the difference between what you need and what you want. You need a roof over your head, food to eat, and clothes to wear (basic needs). You also need to learn how to better take care of yourself, so that when you reach adulthood, you will not need to continue relying on others to pay for your basic needs. And the reality is that it is VERY hard to get a good-paying job without a college diploma or completing some kind of trade school. Living on your own is VERY expensive, and most minimum wage or low-paying jobs aren't going to be able to pay rent and utilities - or any other extras you want.

You want to continue karate. It is a great thing to have, but it isn't a neccesity. The hard reality is that we aren't always going to get what we want. I wanted to take Aikido for over a year, but the reality was that I was nearly flat-broke and over my head in credit card debt after being unemployed for two straight summers. I am a college-educated woman with a Master's degree, but I still don't make enough money to do everything I want. The only reason why I can afford to take Aikido was because I refinanced my house and consolidated my credit card debt.

Adulthood is tough, Sam. If you don't get the necessary help and education you need now, you're going to have a MUCH rougher time when you are on your own. And believe me, life isn't nearly as much fun when you're struggling at some minimum or low-paying job. Been there, done that. I worked as a courier for almost four years after getting my undergrad degree, because I didn't know what I wanted. I was frustrated for two reasons: One, because I felt like I was wasting myself and my college degree; two, because I wasn't making a lot of money and couldn't really afford to do what I want. Let me tell you...it REALLY sucks to be underemployed in your mid-20's. You don't want to go there.

You are an intelligent young woman with a lot of determination. Perhaps it's time that you channeled that energy into something that will benefit you in the long run - which would help get you want you really want (i.e., karate training, tournaments, recreational activities, etc).

 

[Grenadier]

I now live with my sister, who lives 10 (ten!) miles from my karate studio. The conditions of living with her are, putting $200 a week aside, going to school, (which my parents won't help me pay for), and... quitting karate.

QUIT KARATE??

She thinks I put karate first, and school and work should come first.
We compromised, and now I can go to karate ONE day a week.

Not a good situation at all. Yes, it is unfair, and she probably does not understand that the martial arts are more likely to help you than to detract from things. As much as I agree with you, though, the overriding factor is that it's her house, and her rules. Good God, just saying that has left a foul aftertaste...

While there is certainly a black cloud over you, this cloud has many silver linings.

1) Best wishes to your father. With today's therapy and methods, though, he has a much better chance of regaining more of his functions that he would not have had even 15 years ago. Prayers on the way for him.

2) At least your sister is allowing you to pursue your martial arts training. It's certainly better than no training at all, and in time, could probably be convinced to relent on the "one time a week" part. Be patient.

3) If you are a college student, there are many forms of financial aid available. If your parenmts don't make above a certain combined income, then you can qualify for Pell Grants. There are also other forms of financial aid, including student loans, that have capped interest rates, and that you do not pay interest until you start repaying the loan (typically 6 months after you graduate).

Once you finish college, and get a decent job, then you're your own person, plain and simple.

4) Talk to your sensei. You may be surprised at this, but many school owners are quite willing to help out a good student who needs a bit of a financial breather. To them, taking a short-term loss means being able to hold onto longer term gains, which is certainly better.

5) Putting aside 200 bucks a week isn't too bad. Yes, this means you'll have to cut out a lot of unnecessary items, and it's not going to be fun giving them up, but it can be done.


Hang in there Sam. While things aren't going to be pleasant for now, you're going to come out of this a whole heck of a lot stronger.

 

[rutherford]

can life just be normal for like, 3 weeks?

I'm sorry to say that the answer is a resounding "No", in my experience.

And it's unlikely to ever get any easier, unless you make it so.

I'm also very sorry to hear about the experiences you've been going through recently, Sam.

Follow your Bliss. Work hard. And always do the best you can for yourself and others. Find joy wherever you can, and help it to grow.

Things may work out, but the only sure thing is that tomorrow will be different.

 

[JBrainard]

The conditions of living with her are, putting $200 a week aside, going to school, (which my parents won't help me pay for), and... quitting karate.

QUIT KARATE??

She thinks I put karate first, and school and work should come first.
We compromised, and now I can go to karate ONE day a week.

I think it was unfair of her asking me to quit karate... and I dont know how I am going to work that much.

Damn right it's unfair. If the conditions of living with her involve controlling your finances and your recreational activities, I'd find somewhere else to stay!

 

[MA-Caver]

Damn right it's unfair. If the conditions of living with her involve controlling your finances and your recreational activities, I'd find somewhere else to stay!

Umm, she's not quite 18 yet and thus laws state she's unable to get her OWN place until then. As long as she's with a family member she's okay living out of the "home".
Just FYI

 

[Cryozombie]

Sam

I'm gonna give you some advice that will run counter to what most people here are telling you.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LET SOMEONE ELSE DICTATE YOUR PASSIONS AND PRIORITIES.

So, you are under 18 and cant stop it yet.

DON'T LET THAT BECOME A PATTERN WHEN YOU CAN.

LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU... YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT WILL BE GONE.
​

 

[someguy]

What defines normal... Ok ok I won't say much other than normal is the absolute opposite of the ideal.
Good luck to you any how. Pulling in $200 doesn't sound fun but independance os a good thing. I'm sure you will pull through it just fine. Martial arts are a great thing but don't forget there are many other important things to life.
Good luck is all I can really say

 

[Swordlady]

Damn right it's unfair. If the conditions of living with her involve controlling your finances and your recreational activities, I'd find somewhere else to stay!

I know that you mean well, but it would help if you got more facts about Sam's current situation before trying to offer her advice.

 

[Fluffy]

You're in my thoughts.

 

[rutherford]

Umm, she's not quite 18 yet and thus laws state she's unable to get her OWN place until then. As long as she's with a family member she's okay living out of the "home".
Just FYI

Only short by 3 months.

I was living alone by then, and I know a lot of other people who were as well. Of course, in my case it was a college dorm.


Sam, is this the sister with whom you had a physical confrontation?