Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes

[Drac]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through Her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman rolled her eyes as she replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the Policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

 

[JBrainard]

:lol:
Nice.

 

[Jade Tigress]

:lfao::lfao::lfao::lfao::lfao::lfao:

 

[Bigshadow]

That is too funny!

 

[Ninjamom]

That is baaaaaaaaadddddd! :lol:

 

[MA-Caver]

That is baaaaaaaaadddddd! :lol:

Yes but it might've actually happened.... :uhyeah:

 

[ehsen]

:ladysman: ( why these women are always after me....)

 

[terryl965]

Just too funny

 

[kuntawguro]

a burnette, a red headed, and a blond stuck on an uknown island far from any other land. The island has NO food, the water is SALT, and the terrain is horrible to live in because of all of the wild animals. So they tumble on a lamp and pick it up. They rubbed on its side accidently and a great genie came. The genie says," I will grant each one of you a wish." So the burnette headed said,"I wish i was back home." and so the burnette headed went home. So now, he asks the red headed to say a wish and she said, "I wish i was back home too." So she went home also. Than when the genie turns towards the blond, he saws her crying and asks, "What is your wish." And the blond was crying so loud that she said," I really miss them......... I don't want them to leave me alone, i want them back!!!" And so the genie grant the wish and the 2 girls came back to the island..............

 

[kuntawguro]

A blonde walks into an electronics store and says, "I'd like to buy that
tv please." The salesperson replies, "I'm sorry. We don't sell to
blondes here."

The blonde goes home and dyes her hair brown, and a few days later
returns to the store, again asking to buy the tv. "I told you, we don't
sell to blondes, miss. Please go home!" the salesperson tells her.

The blonde goes home, shaves her head and puts on a baseball cap.

In a few days she asks once again to buy the tv. "We just don't sell to
blondes here! Please, give up! Go home!" the salesperson exclaims. "I
dyed my hair, you still knew I was blonde. I shaved my head and wore a
hat, you still knew I was blonde! How do you know?" she cries,
exasperated. The salesperson points to the item she wants. "Well, first
of all, that's a microwave..."

 

[kuntawguro]

How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?

She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

 

[kuntawguro]

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan Officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for three weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Three weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,which comes to $18.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this Transaction has worked out very well, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for three weeks for only $18.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

 

[kuntawguro]

A blonde is driving towards Disneyland and as she watches the signs on the freeway like "Disneyland 3/4 mi" and "Disneyland 1/2 mi" she suddenly sees "Disneyland Left" and turns around to go home.

 

[kuntawguro]

blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After
sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna
hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you
tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair, given that you are
blind,that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde "biker girl."
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is a blonde and a professional
weightlifter.
5. Thelady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
blonde joke

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
"Nah,not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

 

[kuntawguro]

A blonde,a redhead,and a brunette were running from the police.The redhead jumps into a bush,the brunette jumps into a tree,and the blonde jumps into a sack of potatoes.The police walk by the tree and heard'meow meow' they thought it was just a cat.So they walked by the bush, and heard'ruff ruff' they thought,okay so its just a dog.Then they walked by the sack of potatoes and heard'potato potato'.So they pulled the blonde out and she showed them where her friends were.They stood them in a line and were ready to shoot the brunette.They said"Ready,Aim..."and the brunette said"TIDAL WAVE!" and they turned away and she got away.they were ready to shoot the redhead. "Ready,aim..."and she
screamed"TORNADO!"and she got away. then they were ready to shoot the blonde."Ready.aim..." she screamed, "FIRE!"

 

[kuntawguro]

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

 

[kuntawguro]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

She decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said "For best results put on two coats."

 

[kuntawguro]

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself
out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How
much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does
she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied,
"You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde'
jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied,"and I
had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

 

[kuntawguro]

A blonde and a Brunette were having lunch at the brunettes house. The brunette's husband came home with a bunch of roses. The brunette says"oh no, I am going to have to lie on my back with my legs open for the next week". So the Blonde asks " Don't you have a vase?"

 

[kuntawguro]

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies....."

Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling
very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day.....we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

The blonde very calmly states......"No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual...."if you need anything, just let me know."

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now........are you gonna be ok??"

"No......" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"