Some jokes

Ender

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>Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and

>values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

>Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"

>-----------------------------------------------------------------------

>A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my

>intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have

>got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"

>-----------------------------------------------------------------------

>"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court

>Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"

>"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and

>then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"

>-----------------------------------------------------------------------

>A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't

>like the looks of your wife at all," ; "Me neither doc," said the husband.

>"But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.

>-----------------------------------------------------------------------

>An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he

>has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe,

>but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the

>curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you

>man and wife."

>-----------------------------------------------------------------------

>Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder

>1. All the DNA is the same.

>2. There are no dental records.

>---------------------------------------------------------------------

>A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll

>take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies,

> "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.


>---------------------------------------------------------------------

>This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing

>the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of

>him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"

>The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could

>start by buying me a drink."

>---------------------------------------------------------------------

>Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?"

>Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."


>---------------------------------------------------------------------

>While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display

>of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I

>had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's

>advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an

>all-in-one?" -"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all

>in one.
 

Flatlander

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A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my

>intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have

>got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"
I really like this one!
 

KenpoTex

Senior Master
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This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
>The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink.
If only it were that easy :lol:
 

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