Best way to mend bridges?

[Stargazer]

Do you guys think it's possible to mend bridges in all situations? I really messed up in friendship with a martial arts colleague. I thought he had done something he had not. I've emailed an apology and tried to make things right. But he has ignored it. Not sure what else to do. Do you think there are things that permanently break a friendship? Should I try apologizing in person or take a lack of reply as an answer in itself?

 

[Blindside]

Apologies should happen in person, man up.

 

[seasoned]

Blindside is vary correct. Sincerity can only be seen and felt with a face to face apology. Where it goes from there is hard to tell, rebuilding trust will take time.

 

[Cyriacus]

Apologize, tell him how you felt, and very nicely ask for a clean slate, and that you dont expect him to forgive you overnight. You just want to stand a chance

 

[Stargazer]

Thank you, guys. Lol, Blindside. You're so right.

I will try and let you know what happens.

 

[Aiki Lee]

The others are correct about apologizing face to face.

Also keep in mind that repairing that bridge must be done from both sides, even if the problem arose from just one side. If he isn't willing to meet with you it might be a sign that he either needs more time or you hurt him enough that he's just done.

 

[Flying Crane]

a phone call could be a reasonable step. It's better than an email, and could be an option if you are unable to meet face-to-face. It's a start, anyway.

 

[Stargazer]

Thank you. I'm going to talk to him in person. It's a drive from here, so hopefully I can talk to him in the next few weeks. I feel absolutely terrible about the situation. Not only did I burn a bridge, but I flamed it out. Really flamed it out. I wouldn't blame him if he slammed the door in my face. The worst part about this is that based on what I had seen and heard, I thought he had done something he did not.

 

[jks9199]

Thank you. I'm going to talk to him in person. It's a drive from here, so hopefully I can talk to him in the next few weeks. I feel absolutely terrible about the situation. Not only did I burn a bridge, but I flamed it out. Really flamed it out. I wouldn't blame him if he slammed the door in my face. The worst part about this is that based on what I had seen and heard, I thought he had done something he did not.

Given the distance you describe, you may be well advised to have someone pave the way for you. They can't take the burden of apologizing and reaching out from you -- but they can let the wronged person know that you realize you were in error, and want to make up for it, and ensure that they'll at least open the door enough to talk to you.