At what point do I become the aggressor????

[Jenna]

@Instructor, I wish so hard that I could put my hand to my heart and say it will all be better.. I will move away soon because I am not even meant to be here and I have only prayers that some longer lasting good has been done.. still you are very kind to think of bestowing such a commendation on me thank you my lovely friend and but it would be conceit to accept for what am I without far wiser souls like you and everyone else that has helped on here and elsewhere and who know what I do not and guide where I am lacking nous.. so.. if some peace can come from this then it is due to all.. hugs and lot of thanks Jxxxxxxx

 

[Instructor]

It is a wise person that pauses to consider the consequences of her actions, to seek the advice of others, and heed good judgment. While I am no pacifist I did grow up in a troubled household and I can tell you that the intervention of good calm people can make a massive difference. Life isn't like movies, in the movies the good guys beat up the bad guys etc. In the real world we are all just people. If you catch us at our best we can be amazing and if one had a snapshot of us at our worst it's a disgrace.... Every person I know (parent's included) have said and done things for which they are not proud. The key is to try to shine a light on wrong behaviors and in the cold light of day hopefully a positive change will occur. At the very least your friend knows that she is not alone, that others truly care, and that in a pinch people will help her.

 

[Brian King]

Brian, what you say always is clear and objective even if some times it would not be what the impulse in me would desire for itself.. What do you think if I say there is not such thing as a bad person? Do you think this is right?? This is what I think I am being shown.
Jxxx

Even Hitler supposedly loved his dogs. I do believe that there is evil in our world unfortunately and that sometimes we are called on to confront it. How we confront it is what matters I think. We need to be able to do so without hate and our own evil. Just because good can be seen/felt- it does not necessarily mitigate the evil. We need to be able to see the good yet still confront the evil and do so with a calm heart. Calm helps defeat the contagiousness of evil in my opinion. We should never confront evil with evil.

We are all in charge of our selves yes ok and but if I cannot immediately see the good in a person it is me at fault for not being rigorous enough to understand the life that has shaped that person. Is this right do you think??

Thank you again for all of your help!

Jxxx

Gratitude is a discipline, to develop the gratitude attitude takes work and practice. A part of that is learning to see the possible good in situations and people. It is also about learning to accept situations and people with out necessarily saying good or bad. Who truly knows other than God? "Life shapes" is true I think, yet, can't we also say that values shapes lives? Can't we also say that decisions and choices shape values? LOL in other words - don't be too hard on yourself. Even Saints were sinners once. Immediately? To expect to see the good immediately is unrealistic I think. It denies us the opportunity to feel and experience our emotions. These emotions are a gift and should not be ignored in my opinion.

You're welcome and thank you for allowing me to work out a thought exploration or three, from the comfortable position of not being in the circumstance that you find yourself.

Regards
Brian King