An Intensity Challenged Person

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Runs With Fire

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Not sure I am able to grasp what you're saying. I am sure I would get the concept if I saw what you meant, but I am just having a hard time picturing it from your description. Sorry, not your fault, but I'm not getting it.
What if I said it's a problem with timidity? She is incredibly skilled. She puts the art into martial arts but has trouble putting the fight into it. Today while practicing a front kick to a reusable light weight breaking board, she said "I don't want to hurt you". Now, that's not necessarily a problem of course, but it helped me to understand.
For now we will stick to heavy bag work and mitts to work on power and speed.
The dojang owner wants me to keep him informed on things and he will sure have some good imput.
 
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I assume the OP is referring to the person as having a mild mannered temperament and does not display ferocity in her training. There could be psychological reasons behind this that she should explore if she agrees with this assessment. Visualization exercises can help along with some scenario training to build stress. It needs to be done slowly and carefully over time or else it will just crush confidence rather than increase it.
Exactly! I am not looking to change her 100% or even 50/50. She already has it in her, I just want her to where it is when she needs to find it.
 

Tez3

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Why does she train? Does she want to spar hard or is she happy training? Is it to defend herself because I guarantee she will with every bit of skill and the necessary aggression needed. I doubt she trains just to hit pieces of wood though so it's little wonder she has no 'aggression' which is not the same as being timid. She simply doesn't have that testosterone flowing that you do, she doesn't need to be aggressive, she is effective when she needs to be ie being attacked. she simply doesn't need to be that aggressive in class. Changing her nature is not a good thing.
Many of us don't break board because we don't see it as beneficial to training or character building. Just because she can't doesn't mean the problem is her, perhaps it's not, perhaps the class is the one that's overly aggressive.

You know I really hate that everyone is discussing this poor girl as if she has personal failings, psychological failings and character weaknesses just because she doesn't break a piece of wood! Is no one going to see this from her point of view, maybe she has a pushy boyfriend who wants her to be aggressive when it's not her nature to be. Look at the first sentence of the opening post
My girlfriend recently brought up some of her personal weaknesses in martial arts training.
and then this,
By far, her strength is where I fall short
is he responsible for her strength and feels it falls short? Cut the girl some slack and perhaps we could not talk about her behind her back like this, perhaps the OP could invite her to join MT and give us her opinion herself? We may all be wrong but I would really like to hear her side of this.
 

WaterGal

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What if I said it's a problem with timidity? She is incredibly skilled. She puts the art into martial arts but has trouble putting the fight into it. Today while practicing a front kick to a reusable light weight breaking board, she said "I don't want to hurt you". Now, that's not necessarily a problem of course, but it helped me to understand.
For now we will stick to heavy bag work and mitts to work on power and speed.

She was worried she would hurt you while doing a front kick on a light (I assume you mean the ones that are supposed to be 1/2" boards) rebreakable board? That is pretty timid, and sounds like she doesn't trust herself or have much experience giving or taking a hit.

If her fear is that she's going to hurt her partner, than IMO she needs to face that by doing more sparring and drills where she gets to kick and punch someone else. It takes a lot more force to injure an adult than it takes to break a 1/2" pine board with a front kick.

I do agree with Tez, though, that increasing her level of aggressiveness is not necessarily the answer. Different people have different temperaments, and it's okay if she's more mild-mannered in general. That doesn't mean she won't be able to hit hard when it comes down to it. But if she doesn't trust herself, that's another matter.
 
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Why does she train? Does she want to spar hard or is she happy training? Is it to defend herself because I guarantee she will with every bit of skill and the necessary aggression needed. I doubt she trains just to hit pieces of wood though so it's little wonder she has no 'aggression' which is not the same as being timid. She simply doesn't have that testosterone flowing that you do, she doesn't need to be aggressive, she is effective when she needs to be ie being attacked. she simply doesn't need to be that aggressive in class. Changing her nature is not a good thing.
Many of us don't break board because we don't see it as beneficial to training or character building. Just because she can't doesn't mean the problem is her, perhaps it's not, perhaps the class is the one that's overly aggressive.

You know I really hate that everyone is discussing this poor girl as if she has personal failings, psychological failings and character weaknesses just because she doesn't break a piece of wood! Is no one going to see this from her point of view, maybe she has a pushy boyfriend who wants her to be aggressive when it's not her nature to be. Look at the first sentence of the opening post and then this, is he responsible for her strength and feels it falls short? Cut the girl some slack and perhaps we could not talk about her behind her back like this, perhaps the OP could invite her to join MT and give us her opinion herself? We may all be wrong but I would really like to hear her side of this.
 
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OP
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Why does she train? Does she want to spar hard or is she happy training? Is it to defend herself because I guarantee she will with every bit of skill and the necessary aggression needed. I doubt she trains just to hit pieces of wood though so it's little wonder she has no 'aggression' which is not the same as being timid. She simply doesn't have that testosterone flowing that you do, she doesn't need to be aggressive, she is effective when she needs to be ie being attacked. she simply doesn't need to be that aggressive in class. Changing her nature is not a good thing.
Many of us don't break board because we don't see it as beneficial to training or character building. Just because she can't doesn't mean the problem is her, perhaps it's not, perhaps the class is the one that's overly aggressive.

You know I really hate that everyone is discussing this poor girl as if she has personal failings, psychological failings and character weaknesses just because she doesn't break a piece of wood! Is no one going to see this from her point of view, maybe she has a pushy boyfriend who wants her to be aggressive when it's not her nature to be. Look at the first sentence of the opening post and then this, is he responsible for her strength and feels it falls short? Cut the girl some slack and perhaps we could not talk about her behind her back like this, perhaps the OP could invite her to join MT and give us her opinion herself? We may all be wrong but I would really like to hear her side of this.
That's not physical strength, it's a metaphor. As in she has skill in areas where I don't have much.
 
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Everyone has failings, flaws and weaknesses. No exceptions. The only reason I am involved is that she has asked for my help.
 
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I do agree with Tez, though, that increasing her level of aggressiveness is not necessarily the answer. Different people have different temperaments, and it's okay if she's more mild-mannered in general. That doesn't mean she won't be able to hit hard when it comes down to it. But if she doesn't trust herself, that's another matter.

She is a great martial artist. She has some weak areas and has asked me to help her. I love the fact that she's mild mannered. She's had a hard time with board breaking during tests. It really has shattered her confidence. She will be testing again in July and there will be at least seven individual boards 3/4 pine.
 

Aiki Lee

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You know I really hate that everyone is discussing this poor girl as if she has personal failings, psychological failings and character weaknesses just because she doesn't break a piece of wood! Is no one going to see this from her point of view, maybe she has a pushy boyfriend who wants her to be aggressive when it's not her nature to be. Look at the first sentence of the opening post and then this, is he responsible for her strength and feels it falls short? Cut the girl some slack and perhaps we could not talk about her behind her back like this, perhaps the OP could invite her to join MT and give us her opinion herself? We may all be wrong but I would really like to hear her side of this.

To be fair, I said "psychological reasons" not psychological issues or failings. The young lady's mindset may be exactly where she wants it to be, hence why I said she should explore stress testing if she agrees she needs to up her ferocity. If she is fine, then let her be. If she is dissatisfied then I recommend self-examination and slow but progressive stress training.
 

drop bear

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Seriously just get her hitting stuff hard. You don't have to get her angry or flip out or anything even remotely psychological. Just up the work ethic a bit.

Sheesh. We like to over analyse stuff here,don't we?
 

Gnarlie

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Nothing to do with intensity or hitting stuff hard. If she wants to be successful breaking then that control will be invaluable. As will speed and follow through, and a correctly timed impulse of tension. Intensity and aggression tends to make people a) miss the target or b) fluff one of the factors I just described.

Breaking is a knack that can be picked up very quickly by someone with good control, whereas 'intense' people tend to have problems trying to put too much power in and stuffing the techniques.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
 

Tez3

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Everyone has failings, flaws and weaknesses. No exceptions. The only reason I am involved is that she has asked for my help.

I understand that but do you think when she asked for your help that she meant you to discuss her with a large bunch of strangers on the internet? what if someone she knows recognises you and her from these posts how will she feel? While you have to join to post here, a random word on Google for example can bring posts up to the general public.

This is the best advice I believe on here from someone who has hit the nail on the head. You will only damage her self confidence more if you carry on with 'aggression and strength' training. I think the simple thing is learn to break boards properly.

Nothing to do with intensity or hitting stuff hard. If she wants to be successful breaking then that control will be invaluable. As will speed and follow through, and a correctly timed impulse of tension. Intensity and aggression tends to make people a) miss the target or b) fluff one of the factors I just described.

Breaking is a knack that can be picked up very quickly by someone with good control, whereas 'intense' people tend to have problems trying to put too much power in and stuffing the techniques.
 

WaterGal

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She is a great martial artist. She has some weak areas and has asked me to help her. I love the fact that she's mild mannered. She's had a hard time with board breaking during tests. It really has shattered her confidence. She will be testing again in July and there will be at least seven individual boards 3/4 pine.

If she's hung up about the board breaking, she needs to practice that. Not Krav, or some kind of training to increase her aggressiveness - she needs to just break boards a lot. The main things that cause people to fail at board breaking are either a problem with their technique/aim or they're afraid of the board. So probably, she either needs help improving her technique, or she needs to become more used to breaking boards, or both. The confidence will come from that. Buy the rebreakable board that's equivalent to the 1" board and just have her practice with that, a lot. If you know what boards she'll have to break that way during her test, you guys can just practice those techniques, over and over again, until she's confident she'll be able to do them.
 

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If she's hung up about the board breaking, she needs to practice that. Not Krav, or some kind of training to increase her aggressiveness - she needs to just break boards a lot. The main things that cause people to fail at board breaking are either a problem with their technique/aim or they're afraid of the board. So probably, she either needs help improving her technique, or she needs to become more used to breaking boards, or both. The confidence will come from that. Buy the rebreakable board that's equivalent to the 1" board and just have her practice with that, a lot. If you know what boards she'll have to break that way during her test, you guys can just practice those techniques, over and over again, until she's confident she'll be able to do them.


That's what I do with my kid(s). My daughter used to have too much respect of the board...a few breaks at home took care of it.
 

Rich Parsons

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I have done some drills with Brian Van Cise, and others, where one uses a rubber or soft flexible knife/dagger and the person charges in and stabs the person.
I had an ex-girlfriend stop by an event (* I invited her *), and we used aluminum training knives. She came in and stabbed me just like the others were stabbing each other.
Yes I got bruised. But it showed her the level of attack we were looking for, and she then knew she could do it. So we changed to her do it a little more softly and then back to hard or more intense with rubber dagger that bends and she had it down.

Take her our of her norm. Put her into a new situation.
If you can do it with another class or seminar then do so.
This way she sees what others are doing and also that it done in a safe way or manner. Yet, by changing the weapon to being fixed, it forces here to continue as the others and maybe with some of the intensity you are looking for or to help her with.

(* Yes you have to stand there and take the hits. Yes even if you pad up and spar and let her come at you so she knows yes, you might get a bruise afterwards, but that shecan turn it on when she wants or needs too. *)
 

Tez3

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I have done some drills with Brian Van Cise, and others, where one uses a rubber or soft flexible knife/dagger and the person charges in and stabs the person.
I had an ex-girlfriend stop by an event (* I invited her *), and we used aluminum training knives. She came in and stabbed me just like the others were stabbing each other.
Yes I got bruised. But it showed her the level of attack we were looking for, and she then knew she could do it. So we changed to her do it a little more softly and then back to hard or more intense with rubber dagger that bends and she had it down.

Take her our of her norm. Put her into a new situation.
If you can do it with another class or seminar then do so.
This way she sees what others are doing and also that it done in a safe way or manner. Yet, by changing the weapon to being fixed, it forces here to continue as the others and maybe with some of the intensity you are looking for or to help her with.

(* Yes you have to stand there and take the hits. Yes even if you pad up and spar and let her come at you so she knows yes, you might get a bruise afterwards, but that shecan turn it on when she wants or needs too. *)



These are very good but quite honestly it's breaking boards she has problems with not really aggression or anything else, she needs to practise breaking boards with good technique.

I feel so sorry for this girl, she only has problems with one thing and people want to turn her into Rambo, it's unfair. It's getting blown out of all proportions, she's a 2nd Dan, she wouldn't have made it that far if she wasn't any good. Breaking a piece of wood is what's holding her back and that's a matter of technique, what she need is practice, practice and a bit more practice breaking boards.
Her other half has decided she needs more aggression to break these things, says it's timidity that's stopping her but it's been pointed out here by a very good TKDist that that is not how to break boards.
 

Tez3

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Nothing to do with intensity or hitting stuff hard. If she wants to be successful breaking then that control will be invaluable. As will speed and follow through, and a correctly timed impulse of tension. Intensity and aggression tends to make people a) miss the target or b) fluff one of the factors I just described.

Breaking is a knack that can be picked up very quickly by someone with good control, whereas 'intense' people tend to have problems trying to put too much power in and stuffing the techniques.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


I'm quoting this because it's what the girl needs and it needs saying again.
 

Rich Parsons

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These are very good but quite honestly it's breaking boards she has problems with not really aggression or anything else, she needs to practise breaking boards with good technique.

I feel so sorry for this girl, she only has problems with one thing and people want to turn her into Rambo, it's unfair. It's getting blown out of all proportions, she's a 2nd Dan, she wouldn't have made it that far if she wasn't any good. Breaking a piece of wood is what's holding her back and that's a matter of technique, what she need is practice, practice and a bit more practice breaking boards.
Her other half has decided she needs more aggression to break these things, says it's timidity that's stopping her but it's been pointed out here by a very good TKDist that that is not how to break boards.


While I did Answer the question posed by the Original Poster, I think you are projecting your own ideas into this. Unless of course you have talked to her.
 

Tez3

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While I did Answer the question posed by the Original Poster, I think you are projecting your own ideas into this. Unless of course you have talked to her.

No, I'm reading what he said, that she's a 2nd Dan who has problems with board breaking, she is good at everything else. The OP thinks being aggressive is the answer to breaking boards, says she's too timid with them. He didn't say she needs to spar more aggressively just that she needs to learn to break boards. Quite simple really.
 
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