Teaching your own children

Discussion in 'Tae-Kwon-Do' started by Jaeimseu, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. Jaeimseu

    Jaeimseu 2nd Black Belt

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    Just curious. My wife just gave birth to our first child two weeks ago, so I've got a few years before I have to worry about it, but do any of you teach your own kids? If so, why? If not, why not?
     
  2. andyjeffries

    andyjeffries Master of Arts

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    Yes, I teach my own children. I have a 7 year old girl and a 9 year old both. Both were kicking a little bit at home from about 2 years old, both started formally at classes when they turned 6 (as that was the age my instructor accepted them). When I opened my own club in September 2011 they moved over to my club (political problems, not with my instructor) and I've taught them formally since then (my instructor has since died and I've taken over that club too).

    I have no issue with it. I think they feel they can get away with more because Dad is the teacher. They often find they get away with less because I expect more from them. My child students refer to me as Master Jeffries and they are 95% good at doing so (with an occasional "Dad" slipping in).

    I see no reason why you shouldn't teach your own kids; I like teaching, I like teaching children, I love my own children. Win win win!
     
  3. dancingalone

    dancingalone Grandmaster

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    My son is 6 years old. I had not thought to put him into training until much later, like 12 or so, but I let him join the little kids class because he asked on his initiative to.

    He surprises me constantly with his maturity and perception. He said he didn't want to practice what Daddy does. He wants the fun class. I'm proud and a little sad at the same time.
     
  4. d1jinx

    d1jinx Master Black Belt

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    CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your child.

    I too had my first recently and I am wondering the same thing. I am sure I will teach her, but for how far and how long. I have known many parent/child-teacher/student relationships and very few have worked out. I will always teach and instruct her on my way, but do I allow someone else to fill the role of teacher?

    this I have thought about as well. And for the record.... I WONT TEACH MY WIFE!!!! thats a whole nother topic!
     
  5. miguksaram

    miguksaram Master of Arts

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    First congrats on your new child and many blessings to you all.

    With that said, yes, I have taught my kids for a bit but then backed away from doing so. Mostly becuase I tended to be harder on them then I was on other students. Sensei Sharkey told me it is better to have others work with your kids. Now that they have both achieved their Jr. BB, I work with them on different areas. So in all I say, have someone else teach them, but be there to help them work outside of class.
     
  6. Daniel Sullivan

    Daniel Sullivan Grandmaster

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    Congratulations on the birth of your child! Look forward to many wonderful and fun years!!

    I teach/taught both of my kids. My oldest is now twenty one and has moved away from martial arts for the time being, though he does help me out with classes when needed. My other son enjoys class and it keeps him off of the X-box. I do make sure to hold both kids to the same standards that I hold everyone else to in order to avoid any appearance of inappropriate favoritism.
     
  7. Archtkd

    Archtkd 3rd Black Belt

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    Congrats to you and your wife for the birth of your son.

    My son is 7 years, five months, and I have been teaching him since he was five. I usually don't teach kids younger than 7, but he started hanging out in the dojang when he was 4. He started practicing stuff the older kids were doing, by himself, in the reception area and a separate training floor from the main floor. When he turned 5, I let him try out the classes, initially only once a week. After two months I let him train three times a week and he's been consistently training ever since. I try not to push him any harder than the other kids and I think he's turning out OK. He likes competition and has been out to four tournaments, where he placed 1st or second in poomsae and 2nd and 3rd place in sparring. He will test for his 1st poom at the end of this year, after which I would like him to work more with the other adult blackbelts in our dojang -- something I'm already encouraging him to do before competitions.

    I would say the biggest advantage of teaching my son is getting the opportunity to spend more time with him and hopefully teach him something that he can teach to later generations of my family lineage. One of the best experiences I have ever had was to see my son demonstrate basic techniques and poomsae in front of my own teacher, prior to my 5th dan test early this year. I could see lots of of happiness in the eyes of my teacher, who is now in his 70s.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2012
  8. Gemini

    Gemini Senior Master

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    First, I echo the sentiments for your new born. That's wonderful news! :) I have taught my 3 boys from 1st Dan out of necessity, not choice, but I don't promote them. As mentioned above, I would tend to be harder on them than the other students which was not fair nor made class much fun. Over the years I've learned to lighten up and it has since proven to be a positive experience for all of us. I love teaching them but more importantly, I'm proud of them and they know it. While I wouldn't suggest against it, I would identify common pitfalls inherent to teaching your own..it's not for everyone and be honest with yourself as to whether it's the right choice for you and yours. There is no right or wrong answer as long as you're realistic. I wish you the best of luck either way! :)
     
  9. granfire

    granfire Sr. Grandmaster

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    congratulations on the babe! :)

    they can be so much fun.


    And now to me being the turd in the punch bowl:
    I can't advise to teach your own kid. I suppose it can work, as the examples above show, but from my general experience (maybe our activities all happened when the kids were already older) instruction is better received when it comes from an outsider.
    My kid and I are very similar in personality and we have clashed early on, not to mention he has his dad's not so good trades as well ;)

    My cousin did well taking instructions from my dad, from her own it was a disaster

    When the time is right you have to play it by ear. have fun teaching the little one all you know, but be prepared to accept that you might have to hand the lessons over to somebody else.
     
  10. Earl Weiss

    Earl Weiss Senior Master

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    Did not teach them much when they were younger 7-10 and beginners. I didn't want there to be confusion between criticism from Dafd they may take to hard and criticism from an instructor. I had others teach them. As teenagers and more advanced they knew what the deal was.
     
  11. puunui

    puunui Senior Master

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    I don't see any problems with teaching your own children. Many martial arts are passed down that way, from parent to child. I notice many dojang have the son or daughter taking over the chief instructor role from their fathers and doing a very good job I might add.
     
  12. Carol

    Carol Crazy like a...

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    Congratulations on the new baby! :partyon:

    When my sister and her husband decided to home-school their two older children, they looked at all that a child would get out of an education -- its more than just books and tests. There's interactions with other kids and group dynamics, tutoring, sports, clubs, opportunities to take a leadership role, etc.

    It may help to keep similar questions in mind as your child gets old enough to begin training. What do you and the child want to get out of martial arts training? Are you able to provide that or would it be better to bring in additional resources? As the answers to these questions become clearer to you, hopefully the path will be clearer as well. :)
     
  13. miguksaram

    miguksaram Master of Arts

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    I definetely see that in Korean owned dojangs. This falls into their culture mindset of following in the footsteps of the parents. I have, however, seen it back fire once or twice where the kids resent the training and do not come near the dojang. However, that has been far and few between.
     
  14. Black/Red Block

    Black/Red Block Yellow Belt

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    Congrats on your new addition!!!

    I taught my Daughter upto she got to 15, she "rebelled" against the situation, (I'd separated from her mother) but she just didn't want to do Karate any more.

    Prior to this she was the model student, helping Dad practicing etc. but she lost heart and started to be a hindrence to the class to the fact if she hadn't quit I would have "fired" her.

    My son 22 months I'm slowly working Karate in to his life Already got him doing stances, "punching" of sorts and Kicking, oh and Kiah/Kiap'ing

    I think you just got to take it as it comes, but don't force them to do it. Its their life not yours. the same as you brother/Uncle/Sister/Aunt/Parents don't like martial arts but you do etc.
     
  15. ralphmcpherson

    ralphmcpherson Senior Master

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    Congratulations on the new addition to the family. I have two children aged seven and eleven and started my first at age six but found it was a bit young and tried again at eight, this time with a little more success. In class I encourage them to seek advice off other black belts and not only me and my wife. I find kids who dont train with mum and dad tend to ask any number of black belts for advice but those who have parents in the class tend to go to mum and dad for advice more often. I want my kids to get as many perspectives as possible and usually if they ask me for advice in class I push them in the direction of black belts other than me and my wife. Once home I will spend a lot of one on one time with them.
     
  16. Dirty Dog

    Dirty Dog MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    Congrats on the addition!

    My children are adults, but my wife and older daughter are 3rd geups, and my son is a 4th. I certainly train them, but I am also NOT the final authority. It ain't my school. :)
    I've got my 6 year old grandson doing a few things, and I'm trying to get him into class, but he's really shy and has resisted so far.
     
  17. Kong Soo Do

    Kong Soo Do IKSDA Director

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    Warmest congratulations! Nothing like the birth of your child. In regards to teaching when the time comes, nothing wrong with being their teacher. That is how it was often done in eras past. I teach my son, along with his friends and it is wonderfully spent time. Enjoy it.
    :)
     
  18. ATC

    ATC Senior Master

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    Not sure what happened to my original reply to this post but I train my kids and both are multiple US National Champions. I won't take all the credit but a good part of their training is done by me at home. However I did not get envolved until they were 5th Gups.
     
  19. Gorilla

    Gorilla Master of Arts

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    I have learned that it is different for each family. It is my observation that problems arise during the teen years. I am highly engaged with my kids Martial Arts. It can be tight rope...

    It is natural for a kid to want to distance themselves from a parent. 18-21. This is when we lose allot of kids!
     
  20. kempodisciple

    kempodisciple MT Moderator Staff Member

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    Ok, I know this is a bit of an old post, but just noticed everyone's assuming said parent has their own school, or is at least an instructor at a school. What about people (at least 1st dan and above) who don't teach their style officially for whatever reason..is it still ok for them to be teach their children?
     

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