DEAR READER
...I want to feel like I can open up to humanity about who/what I really am, but it's been my experience in life, that no matter how much evidence I might provide, most people simply just can't believe it...they don't want to believe that stuff like this happens to children, let alone in America...or that certain forces exist. ...So I've just been trying to keep it to myself, and the result is that I can't hardly say anything about me, which makes people suspicious and nervous, which is counterproductive....I don't like to lie; if I was good at lying, then I would have made up a total bland, normal, believable story other than telling them the truth....but I'm starting to think/hope maybe this is a safe place for me to be open and honest and not pretend to be something I'm not because I'm afraid that people just wouldn't be able to handle it. Anyway...I should say this beforehand; if you think the following recollections are just a big, long, made up fantasy, just do everyone a favor and keep it to yourself. It's not going to surprise me a single bit if nobody believes me at all...just giggle quietly to yourself and move along if all you're going to do is say what everybody probably already knows. My life's story is, by and large, unacceptably unbelievable and it's going to sound absolutely loony-toons-bonkers-insane. You have been warned...
PART ONE
I don't know who I am; what my real name is, and I literally never should have been born. My Father was somewhat adopted...he doesn't talk about it a lot, but my Grandfather isn't really my Grandfather; my Father had a different Father who gave him a different name. Nobody knows for sure where he came from though, probably because his Mother was sleeping around a bunch and high out of her mind. She died a while back though. Father then left the big city and met my mother in a small-town bar in Montana. He and her got really drunk, and then my Father asked my Mother if she'd marry him, (even though he had no idea who she was). Then they got married, and Father dragged her off across Canada in a pick up truck, where they arrived in Alaska and traveled pretty much all the Last Frontier, camping out of their truck. The adventure came to an end though when my Mother suddenly became pregnant with me. This scared them both pretty badly seeing as they were both alcoholics and Father was probably on narcotics because it wasn't that much longer before that he said he was floating over San Diego before he left the Navy because his mother got shot in the face by a drug dealer. She lived. She died of alcoholism about ten years ago.
You see, my mother was almost fifty at that point; she had been told by doctors a while back that it was impossible for her to have anymore children. They finally settled down in a little trailer about a hundred miles south of the middle of Alaska; Mother broke her leg halfway though her pregnancy with me; the cast bothered her after a while though so she cut it off with a hacksaw. When I was born, I arrived very late, was very small and frail, jaundiced, starving and dying. Doctors were pretty sure I wasn't going to make it, but I ended up pulling through.
Our family home burned to the ground on my first birthday. A generator had been blowing hot exhaust on a wall in the basement, the wall ignited and spread to all the dangerous stuff people keep in their basements (gas, paint, laundry detergents and cleaning supplies etc etc...I hate basements.) Mother was on the phone with the fire department and Father had gotten me out to the truck before running back in to try putting out the fire, but it was no use and he came back out. Mother suddenly heard a booming voice tell her "GET OUT. GET OUT RIGHT NOW". She said she could hear it clear as day; it wasn't my Father.
She told the fireman she had to hang up because it was no longer safe for her; she started getting a sick feeling in her stomach that something was coming and told the fireman she had to get out, she had to get out right now. She hung up (it was back in the days of springy cord wall phones) and sprinted out to the truck. Not a split second after she was clear of the house, an enormous explosion finished off the rest of the house, starting with the precise spot she'd just been standing in.
I was sick a lot as a kid and I didn't start talking until I was about five years old; I communicated using some kind of made-up sign language. This led them to start thinking I might be autistic or retarded or something. I started making up for it later though; hyperactive would probably be an understatement.
Until recently, I never knew that there was another part of the story of my entrance into the world...it was a prophecy; she had happened upon a Fortune Teller at a Fairgrounds one day not long after doctors had given her the bad news, and she asked my mom to come sit with her. After a preliminary interview of sorts, the prophet told her that she would soon find herself with child; Mother laughed at this though, and told her there had to be some kind of mistake, for she was elderly and baron. The seer just smiled and told her that it's just what the stars have told her. A couple years or so later, I was born...Mom says I've always been her little miracle baby....sometimes though I wonder if maybe I'm something else...maybe I'm Mommy's little monster.
To Be Continued in Part Two
...I want to feel like I can open up to humanity about who/what I really am, but it's been my experience in life, that no matter how much evidence I might provide, most people simply just can't believe it...they don't want to believe that stuff like this happens to children, let alone in America...or that certain forces exist. ...So I've just been trying to keep it to myself, and the result is that I can't hardly say anything about me, which makes people suspicious and nervous, which is counterproductive....I don't like to lie; if I was good at lying, then I would have made up a total bland, normal, believable story other than telling them the truth....but I'm starting to think/hope maybe this is a safe place for me to be open and honest and not pretend to be something I'm not because I'm afraid that people just wouldn't be able to handle it. Anyway...I should say this beforehand; if you think the following recollections are just a big, long, made up fantasy, just do everyone a favor and keep it to yourself. It's not going to surprise me a single bit if nobody believes me at all...just giggle quietly to yourself and move along if all you're going to do is say what everybody probably already knows. My life's story is, by and large, unacceptably unbelievable and it's going to sound absolutely loony-toons-bonkers-insane. You have been warned...
PART ONE
I don't know who I am; what my real name is, and I literally never should have been born. My Father was somewhat adopted...he doesn't talk about it a lot, but my Grandfather isn't really my Grandfather; my Father had a different Father who gave him a different name. Nobody knows for sure where he came from though, probably because his Mother was sleeping around a bunch and high out of her mind. She died a while back though. Father then left the big city and met my mother in a small-town bar in Montana. He and her got really drunk, and then my Father asked my Mother if she'd marry him, (even though he had no idea who she was). Then they got married, and Father dragged her off across Canada in a pick up truck, where they arrived in Alaska and traveled pretty much all the Last Frontier, camping out of their truck. The adventure came to an end though when my Mother suddenly became pregnant with me. This scared them both pretty badly seeing as they were both alcoholics and Father was probably on narcotics because it wasn't that much longer before that he said he was floating over San Diego before he left the Navy because his mother got shot in the face by a drug dealer. She lived. She died of alcoholism about ten years ago.
You see, my mother was almost fifty at that point; she had been told by doctors a while back that it was impossible for her to have anymore children. They finally settled down in a little trailer about a hundred miles south of the middle of Alaska; Mother broke her leg halfway though her pregnancy with me; the cast bothered her after a while though so she cut it off with a hacksaw. When I was born, I arrived very late, was very small and frail, jaundiced, starving and dying. Doctors were pretty sure I wasn't going to make it, but I ended up pulling through.
Our family home burned to the ground on my first birthday. A generator had been blowing hot exhaust on a wall in the basement, the wall ignited and spread to all the dangerous stuff people keep in their basements (gas, paint, laundry detergents and cleaning supplies etc etc...I hate basements.) Mother was on the phone with the fire department and Father had gotten me out to the truck before running back in to try putting out the fire, but it was no use and he came back out. Mother suddenly heard a booming voice tell her "GET OUT. GET OUT RIGHT NOW". She said she could hear it clear as day; it wasn't my Father.
She told the fireman she had to hang up because it was no longer safe for her; she started getting a sick feeling in her stomach that something was coming and told the fireman she had to get out, she had to get out right now. She hung up (it was back in the days of springy cord wall phones) and sprinted out to the truck. Not a split second after she was clear of the house, an enormous explosion finished off the rest of the house, starting with the precise spot she'd just been standing in.
I was sick a lot as a kid and I didn't start talking until I was about five years old; I communicated using some kind of made-up sign language. This led them to start thinking I might be autistic or retarded or something. I started making up for it later though; hyperactive would probably be an understatement.
Until recently, I never knew that there was another part of the story of my entrance into the world...it was a prophecy; she had happened upon a Fortune Teller at a Fairgrounds one day not long after doctors had given her the bad news, and she asked my mom to come sit with her. After a preliminary interview of sorts, the prophet told her that she would soon find herself with child; Mother laughed at this though, and told her there had to be some kind of mistake, for she was elderly and baron. The seer just smiled and told her that it's just what the stars have told her. A couple years or so later, I was born...Mom says I've always been her little miracle baby....sometimes though I wonder if maybe I'm something else...maybe I'm Mommy's little monster.
To Be Continued in Part Two
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