What YOU do when your feeling insecure

[Sandy]

Hi,
During my time in martial arts, I've experienced feelings of highs and lows in terms of confidence in my abilities. So my question to all of you is, what do you do when you have a hard time with certain techniques and/or are experiencing feelings of self doubt?

 

[MJS]

Hi,
During my time in martial arts, I've experienced feelings of highs and lows in terms of confidence in my abilities. So my question to all of you is, what do you do when you have a hard time with certain techniques and/or are experiencing feelings of self doubt?

I think the most important thing to do, would be to talk with your instructor. He/She should be able to help you out. As far as fixing the actual problem, I'd say the best thing to do would be to keep working hard on the problem area. If a technique was giving you a hard time, as I said above, talk to your instructor. Its possible you could be making a small mistake and they could correct it for you. Aside from that, there is no magic solution. Practice, practice and more practice.

You mention confidence in your abilities. Which area are you looking to improve upon? IE: Sparring, kata, SD, knowing that if faced with a real situation you'd actually be able to defend yourself?

Mike

 

[Kacey]

Hi,
During my time in martial arts, I've experienced feelings of highs and lows in terms of confidence in my abilities. So my question to all of you is, what do you do when you have a hard time with certain techniques and/or are experiencing feelings of self doubt?

I think we've all been there - there are days when nothing seems to work right. For myself, I tend to go back through the basics - the things I know work - because it helps get rid of the "I can't", and also helps with the things I'm having problems with, because ultimately, all advanced techniques are based on basic ones.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

It's terribly immature of me, but I go and do or think about something else I'm good at.

I'm not a genius, but I'm pretty smart. I'm not a super duper special forces ninja assassin, but I'm pretty tough.

The result is, there aren't many people smarter than me who I can't beat up. And there aren't many people can beat me up who I'm not smarter than. Gives me solace and comfort when I'm feeling insecure.

Like I said, it's terribly immature. But it works. Go and celebrate what you excel at, then come back to the challenge feeling refreshed and confident.

 

[KempoGuy06]

I usually go back and do everything real slow and make sure that i have the movement down right. Other than that I suggerst you take MJS's advise and ask your insturctor.

B

 

[stoneheart]

Honestly, every time I take a lesson from my sensei, I marvel at how skilled he is, and I know in all likelihood I will never match his incredible grace or effortless power or his uncanny ability to put me on my butt from any angle he pleases.

It can be depressing if I let it bother me. The martial arts is something I spend a lot of time practicing after all, and I do want to be as good as I can be. I think that's the key word, as good as I can be.

We all have different talents and we all come from different starting points. Best to realize that and work to improve yourself rather than looking at others as a reference point.

 

[terryl965]

Remember what all my previous instructors ahve said, get your butt back in there and train before I hit you. That has always made me feel better about anything.

 

[Bumblebee]

In music we hit "plateaus" I'm not sure if it's called "plateaus" in other things, but sometimes you hit plateaus where you just can't climb anymore for a while. You'll eventually get a spike in motivation and you'll be able to climb again. If I begin to feel that I'm not doing any good, I do the best I can for the rest of that session then take the rest of the day off. I don't even think about how good or bad I did during a training session and the next time I'm out to train, I feel good.

 

[morph4me]

Someone once told me that when you hit the lows you're improving the most. The lows that you hit show that you recognize that you aren't doing things correctly, and you can't recognize that until you start understanding the way it should be done. Another one of those damn paradoxes that you come across in your study of the martial arts.

When I'm having doubts as to my abilities, I always remember that, an it helps.

 

[TheOriginalName]

As a relative newbie to the world of MA i can't say that i've experienced lows yet...

but in a previous life i played basketball and had many lows.

The most effective thing i found to overcome a low was to break whatever i was learning down into the basics. Focus on each individual basic...and before i knew it i would have it down.

I think this applies to everything in life - some thing in life may seem to huge or difficult to take on or overcome. So don't ---- break it down into easier steps ....

I hope this jabbering makes some sense....otherwise i'll just go back to my own little world....la la la

 

[billybybose]

when I get stumped Im like the original name.I brake the move down to small parts and work one part at a time till I can put it all together.when I get bummed I go stonehearts route.I wont ever be as good as my teacher(He started when he was eight ,and has been in it for twenty-two yrs.I started a yr. ago at forty-four).But I can be pretty good,and way better than when I started.Main thing is keep on,dont give up dont give in.

 

[Sukerkin]

I can't really add much to the fine insights and advice offered here already but my iaido sensei is of the opinion that it is a good sign that you are improving when you know when you're doing something wrong .

The point about reaching plateaus, or even regressing a little, is an important one to assimilate too. This happens in all endeavours wherein you make fast progress, followed by slower progress, followed by what appears to be no progress.

That sense of being static can last for years sometimes but the practise is gradually knitting synapses together so that, seemingly all of a sudden, something that you've struggled with and had to think about for a long time suddenly becomes easy and instinctive.

It's hard not to be disappointed when the fast progress goes away but that's where you learn your real reasons for doing an art in the first place. If you become discouraged to the extent that you stop attending classes then your 'reasons' for starting either no longer hold true or, simply put, you didn't love the art enough in the first place.

The precis of all that blather is if your confidence and sense of your skill level dips, as others have said, take it slow and build it back up again.

 

[exile]

I can't really add much to the fine insights and advice offered here already but my iaido sensei is of the opinion that it is a good sign that you are improving when you know when you're doing something wrong .

The point about reaching plateaus, or even regressing a little, is an important one to assimilate too. This happens in all endeavours wherein you make fast progress, followed by slower progress, followed by what appears to be no progress.

This sense of discouragement is very familiar from other disciplines. In Chiang Yee's great book on Chinese calligraphy, he makes the following observation:

We distinguish three stages in the development of an apprentice calligrapher. At the first stage the writer finds that he can, perhaps after several attempts, make a copy of a character which seems to him to be nearly as good as the original. This stage is a happy one. The writer's eye is not yet sufficiently trained to enable him to perceive how far short his effort really falls of the model. Further practice brings him to the second stage, when he realizes the relative poorness of his work. This is very discouraging and sometimes a writer will give up trying further. But actually this discouragement is a sign of improvement; it shows that the writer has begun to appreciate not merely his own defects but the excellence and beauty of his models. Those who are genuinely devoted to the art will succeed ultimately in transcending this stage. It may take a very long time, or it may be accomplished comparatively quickly. Suddenly the writer achieves a result which is really as good as the example. The wearinsomeness of the endless practice falls away and he realizes that his success is due to his having at last understood the original so acutely as to be able to reproduce it. That is the third stage.​

Substitute MA for calligraphy and it makes exactly the same kind of sense...

 

[Nomad]

Hi,
During my time in martial arts, I've experienced feelings of highs and lows in terms of confidence in my abilities. So my question to all of you is, what do you do when you have a hard time with certain techniques and/or are experiencing feelings of self doubt?

Train harder. Slow things down and try to break down whatever is giving you troubles into smaller pieces. Know that you're not the first person to "not get it" at first, and try not to get discouraged.

As someone recently promoted to Shodan, I find this feeling comes more frequently now, not less. Optimistically, I attribute it to more challenging material being passed on much more quickly (now that I've "got" the basics).

 

[searcher]

I don't do anything about it. I feel it is a great way to make me want to get better at the areas I am less than secure with. Use it to your advantage and to your enemy's defeat. As was stated earlier, we have all been there. The question you have to ask is ,"What am I going to do about it?" Then you will be able to work through this on your own.

 

[Em MacIntosh]

Remember how much influence your sub-concious mind has over your way of thinking. Choose your words carefully as a part of your mind is always listening and absorbing information literally, so don't be hard on yourself, be disceplined. Think of people with less talent but superior skill than you and remeber how they got where they are. Take a little time to practice what you are good at or things you can do that impress you. There's a time to cut yourslef some slack and a time to tighten up the slack. The part to work on is learning when. Part of knowing yourself.

 

[bookworm_cn317]

Hi,
During my time in martial arts, I've experienced feelings of highs and lows in terms of confidence in my abilities. So my question to all of you is, what do you do when you have a hard time with certain techniques and/or are experiencing feelings of self doubt?

I practice. A lot. And I listen to my instructor when he tells me I'm doing good.