Troubleshooting possible trouble student???

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thanson02

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8f his concern was for the wellbeing of the student I would agree with your assessment, but that seems not to be 5h3 case here ?

No, the focus was the well-being the student. It was also about coming up with an organizational structure to give my assistant instructors guidelines to help out with that process and keep everybody on the same page.



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jobo

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No, the focus was the well-being the student. It was also about coming up with an organizational structure to give my assistant instructors guidelines to help out with that process and keep everybody on the same page.



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well you didn't mention that at all, just your wife had taken again a young girl and you 5hough5 she was lowering standards.

show me were you expressed the slightest concern for her well being
 

Headhunter

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It didn't help, I won't lie.

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Then tbh you should get over yourself. Just because someone doesn't get on with your wife doesn't mean you need "weed them out" an instructor should be able to put personal feelings aside when training. If you can't then that's unprofessional
 

gpseymour

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I said in detail, the issue here seems to be that she has disclosed health problems to a number of instructors, I presume to 3xcus3 her self from various exercises she feel are detrimental to her health, a very mature and sensible thing to do and he doesn5 believe her and feels a healthy respect for your own health is lower the standards of his dojo

8f his concern was for the wellbeing of the student I would agree with your assessment, but that seems not to be 5h3 case here ?
The issue in the OP seemed to be that she presented a slightly different explanation of her medical issue each time - never really disclosing what the condition is that's causing the problems.
 

gpseymour

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Then tbh you should get over yourself. Just because someone doesn't get on with your wife doesn't mean you need "weed them out" an instructor should be able to put personal feelings aside when training. If you can't then that's unprofessional
"Just because" seems to ignore the entire OP.
 
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thanson02

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well you didn't mention that at all, just your wife had taken again a young girl and you 5hough5 she was lowering standards.

show me were you expressed the slightest concern for her well being
Well, the fact that we're having this conversation for starters. If I wasn't concerned about the well-being of my students, I wouldn't have started this thread to begin with.

Also, the particular student who brought the situation forward is someone who I kept in contact with since she graduated. Her and I still talk about how to handle things when stress is high and she's not sure what to do, although it has become way less frequent and she seems like she's doing really good with life right now.

My main thing moving forward right now, especially since I've recently moved to a new town and I'm reflecting on business operations to make sure that I'm moving forward better than I've done in the past, which is something I think everybody should do because if you're not evolving, then you're being stagnant and we all know what happens when you become stagnant in your training. A bunch of people during the last regional event got talking about this particular student, and I was wondering if there was a better way to address the particular situation that revolved around her so that moving forward, my students getting what they need and they're still learning what they need to learn within our community. I'm not expecting them all to be high rollers and I'm not expecting them all to be superstars man. if they get one thing of value that helps them improve their lives across the board, I'm a happy camper.

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thanson02

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Then tbh you should get over yourself. Just because someone doesn't get on with your wife doesn't mean you need "weed them out" an instructor should be able to put personal feelings aside when training. If you can't then that's unprofessional
No, that is a fair criticism and based on how I phrased my original post, that is an understandable reaction to what I said. I'm going to meditate on that for a while.......

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Headhunter

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"Just because" seems to ignore the entire OP.
"Just because" the fact that he said himself that the fact she didn't get on with his wife didn't help the matter and obviously that outside factor affected his opinion of his student
 
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thanson02

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The issue in the OP seemed to be that she presented a slightly different explanation of her medical issue each time - never really disclosing what the condition is that's causing the problems.
And people felt like they were being lied to and getting the runaround.

Somebody brought up earlier on the post is that people get uncomfortable talking about their medical problems, and that's something to take into consideration with these conversations. There is a lot of social stigma that revolve around whether someone is dealing with a particular medical condition, whatever that happens to be. Making it clear to the assistant instructors that just because a student is not being clear on what's going on, doesn't mean that they don't have a legitimate issue. Especially when you have a bunch of younger instructors who might just not understand that.

Also as Headhunter did point out, in a professional environment you need to take a personal feelings and check them at the door. If you're having a personal issue with somebody, you need to be self-aware enough to realize that it's a personal issue. You are there to do a job and if your feelings are interfering with that, that is on you, not them.

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thanson02

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"Just because" the fact that he said himself that the fact she didn't get on with his wife didn't help the matter and obviously that outside factor affected his opinion of his student
In all due respect, I think you are focusing too much on my wife. Yes there were disagreements and they didn't get along all the time, but that's not the core of the issue and if you re-read my follow-up post, I think you will see that. If you want to disagree with that, that's fine. That's your choice.

The core of the issue is creating an environment where people are learning skill sets to have quality relationships and help them grow and progress and constantly working to improve on that. I recently was reflecting on one incident that has happened in the last 10 years and thought it was a possible area of improvement. I didn't go into the nitty-gritty details about everything that happened because I didn't think I had to because a lot of it just seems like interpersonal drama that I was able to manage at the time, but I I felt reflecting on it, that I can do a better job if something like this comes up again moving forward.

Regardless, this conversation has been good and helping me reflect on improving my operations moving forward. None of us have perfect track record when it comes to our histories in regards to training and teaching, but as long as we're working to be better and improve, I think that's what's important.

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gpseymour

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"Just because" the fact that he said himself that the fact she didn't get on with his wife didn't help the matter and obviously that outside factor affected his opinion of his student
Affected the matter isn't the same as "just because". There were other reasons. That was my point.
 

jobo

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Well, the fact that we're having this conversation for starters. If I wasn't concerned about the well-being of my students, I wouldn't have started this thread to begin with.

Also, the particular student who brought the situation forward is someone who I kept in contact with since she graduated. Her and I still talk about how to handle things when stress is high and she's not sure what to do, although it has become way less frequent and she seems like she's doing really good with life right now.

My main thing moving forward right now, especially since I've recently moved to a new town and I'm reflecting on business operations to make sure that I'm moving forward better than I've done in the past, which is something I think everybody should do because if you're not evolving, then you're being stagnant and we all know what happens when you become stagnant in your training. A bunch of people during the last regional event got talking about this particular student, and I was wondering if there was a better way to address the particular situation that revolved around her so that moving forward, my students getting what they need and they're still learning what they need to learn within our community. I'm not expecting them all to be high rollers and I'm not expecting them all to be superstars man. if they get one thing of value that helps them improve their lives across the board, I'm a happy camper.

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right your still 8n contact with this young lady, I wonder why your wife took against her ?.
 

jobo

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The issue in the OP seemed to be that she presented a slightly different explanation of her medical issue each time - never really disclosing what the condition is that's causing the problems.
she may have had multiple conditions that effe Ted different activities
 

jobo

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She may. Clarifying that would have been helpful. That's rather the point.
if any one had formally asked her would be a start, she of course has a right to privacy, so she may not wish to divulge. saying I'm a ma master tell me all of your private and possibly embarassing medical details doesn't really change that
 

gpseymour

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if any one had formally asked her would be a start, she of course has a right to privacy, so she may not wish to divulge. saying I'm a ma master tell me all of your private and possibly embarassing medical details doesn't really change that
Saying, "I'm responsible for the well-being of those I train, and for the program" is a pretty good reason to divulge information. As an instructor, I'd be okay if someone doesn't want to share their exact diagnosis...IF they are consistent in describing the limitations involved. If they are inconsistent, I'm going to have concerns for them (and for my own liability).
 

jobo

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Saying, "I'm responsible for the well-being of those I train, and for the program" is a pretty good reason to divulge information. As an instructor, I'd be okay if someone doesn't want to share their exact diagnosis...IF they are consistent in describing the limitations involved. If they are inconsistent, I'm going to have concerns for them (and for my own liability).
you want a diagnosis but not an exact diagnosis?
 
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