-To get even-

[Eraser]

Judo-kid...
IM not gonna sit here and type away telling you what you should do.. that's your decision to make.. but when you make that decision, Keep this in mind... IF you go up to this punk.. (yes he sounds like a punk) and beat the snot out of him.. Yes you may feel better.. but what kind of a reputation does that give your martial art style, your school, your teacher.. and most importantly YOU!!! Walking away does so much more than you may realize.. yes you are young.. and you have all this energy inside your body and mind... try hard to use it for positive things... I do realize its hard to do the right things at times... but when you get older and look back.. you can't change any of the things that you've done throughout your life... and if it were me.. I would want POSITIVE, rather than the negative!!

I wish you the best in all that you do in life Judo-kid:asian:

 

[Chiduce]

Young Man;
If time permits you to live long, you will meet this guy again, and many many other's like him, and even those whom are far worst!
Sincerely, In Humility;
Chiduce!

 

[Marginal]

What it boils down to is the consequences. What's the best outcome of this course of action? Judo-Kid feels slightly better about himself, old punk isn't feeling to great physically.

Seems to be a weak trade.

The other potential outcomes don't seem that great on the other hand.

JK gets beaten down. Not good, (and it'd probably push him over into school shooting mentality given how long he's nursed this grudge).

JK severely injures or kills punk. (Could be intentional, could be accidental) JK's screwed. Yehaw!

Not that I don't understand why JK'd want to.

Back in middle school, I was in a total of two fights. One it was three high schoolers against me and a friend (we were about 13 years old, and the HS'ers had about a foot each on us.) One put my friend in a head lock, and proceeded to pound him in the ribs. The other two ringed me off. Once my friend was down, teh guy doing the pounding turned and asked me "Do you want some too?"

I shook my head no. He charged me. I kicked him with a front snap kick to the sternum (Stupid, but I'd been in a Shutokan Karate class a grand total of a month, and I was at a loss...) Kick connected, he grabbed my foot and pushed me around and down. Straddled my back and pounded me on the back of the head until I went limp. (I didn't know what else to do.)

Ended up as a case of mistaken identity. :cuss: I'm still not happy about that one, but I can't see the point in seeking revenge there. Wouldn't change what happened. They probably don't even remeber the event anyway.

Another time, a kid clubbed me int he back of the head with his book bag. First hit was enough to send me to my knees, and I took several more hits before I was able to stand up. I was bigger than the kid, and could've caused him pain...

I walked away. Wasn't worth it.

 

[arnisador]

This is about defending the ego rather than the body.

It's about protecting one's self-image, or self-respect, not one's physical self.

I think we all go through a stage where protecting our mentla health seems to requrie physical action. One goal of most--not all--martial arts is to pass through that stage. Because if you can keep your self-image without violence, you don't run the risk of being hurt yourself, in addition to any philosophical reasons.

A boxing instructor might well advise you to do it for the practice! Different arts have different views of fighting.

It's clearly a bad idea from a self-defense point of view unless the situation is such that establishing a "rep" would protect you from further episodes of violence.

I was lucky when I was in your shoes. The people who picked on me pre-martial arts started again when I was in a position to defend myself. I got to take the high road by not going after them--in fact I avoided them--but I also got the ego-satisfaction of choking one of them purple and bouncing another off a wall. I was 16 and it was emotionally satisfing after having been bullied for years; perhaps a better man would never have enjoyed it, and I certainly wouldn't now. I have enough confidence in myself and my abilities to not need it to feel better about myself--and enough experience to know that with all my training it could still end up that I'm the one who is hurt.

My advice: Have patience. High school will end and you'll be able to choose the people with whom you associate. Work on not needing to feel like you need to do this--because then you'll have taken a step forward in self-defense. Not just philosophy, but self-defense--avoiding situations where you might get hurt.

 

[Damian Mavis]

Vincefuess, "To this day I still think I did the right thing, but feel I let my rage get the better of me."

Screw that! You're damn skippy you did the right thing and your rage probably saved your life or at the very least saved you from a severe beating. 5 on 1? Not the first beating you had taken? That sounded like a recipe for a TV movie waiting to happen about the boy who was "accidentally" beaten to death in school after being tormented for months with no help from the teachers and how his parents never get justice. You did the right thing and it ended the assaults on your person. More power to you. You seem to think fighting in a rage is wrong... I think it's how you survive against unsurmountable odds. Good on you man.

Damian Mavis
Honour TKD

 

[fissure]

I started MA training at about 8 or so. When I got into school yard fights, I always won.By about 12 or 13 this lead to a problem for me.Every potential 'bad ***' in the school looked at me as a stepping stone- that is if they could kick my butt, it would give them an instant 'reputation'.
This may sound kinda cool to you now Judo- kid, but believe me it gets old real fast. Every lunch break turns into a game of 'watch your back'!
I'm not saying that this will happen to you if you go after this guy - but remember you are talking about beating the crap out of a bully.You're probably not the only one who sees him in this light, too some you'll be something of a hero - too others you could be viewed as a threat.
Just something to think about!:EG:

 

[GouRonin]

When I was in high school my family moved around a lot due to divorce etc and so whenever I went to a new school all I had available to me was sports. Believe it or not I was pretty quiet and just liked to be left alone to do my own thing. I tried out for hockey and football and every year I tried out I made the team and the years I didn't I played intermural within the school.

A lot of people make fun of jocks because they think they're stupid and a lot of the time they're always the ones who people point to when you hear about kids being beaten up. However every clique in high school can be mean.

Luckily for me sports was an instant "in" with a crowd of people because you get accepted for what you are doing. When you move around a lot you depend on this to make new friends and relationships.

One school I attended had a group of punks that used to sneer and make fun of the jocks as if what we were doing was somehow worthless. They'd call us stupid. Make fun of the sports we played etc. Our couch used to tell us to leave them alone because getting into trouble would just cause problems for ourselves and our playing status.

One day after a few months of these guys watching us practice and make fun of us as we walked back to change a guy actually spit at me. I had had enough. Here was something that I depended on to make friends and be accepted like all kids want to be in high school and it was bad enough they made fun of it but now they were spitting on me. I walked over and beat this kid so badly that he had to have dental work done and his fingers re-set.

Of course when this all hit the school the next day the word was out that a jock had beaten up a kid and of course "I" was the bad guy and I was suspended. The parents wanted to expell me permenantly from the school. Luckily the principal saw the whole thing and during the meeting explained that not only was I by myself walking back to the locker room but that there were 10 or more of them and the kid I did up was bigger than me by about half a foot and 50 lbs. He also said that this kid spit on me for playing a sport. No other reason.

I did my suspension because the fighting was wrong and I accepted that. But I never forgot the prejudice of the parents and some of the kids who did not know the whole story and assumed because I was a jock I was stupid and I did it for kicks.

Sports helped me through high school and enabled me to learn the skills I would need to graduate from one of the premier universitites in Canada on a partial academic scholarship with a honours degree in philosophy.

On a better note about 2 weeks later the kid's brother who was a huge skinhead, we're talking 6'5" and minimum of 250lbs, showed up at my door with his brother in tow. I have to admit I was a little scared looking at this guy in doc martins, black jeans, red suspenders and huge muscles but the brother made his younger brother apologize and told me that if I ever had trouble again with the punks at school to call him and he'd set them straight.

I never forgot that either. Good people come in all sizes, shapes, wearing different clothes, and colours and so on.

Years later when my grandfather died the minister was the father of both of these two guys. I never even knew that their father was a minister. Just as the guy had assumed that I was a stupid jock I assumed that he was a white trash punk. We shook hands and said hello and agreed that being young and foolish is something that everyone goes through. We both apologized for our actions and it was nice to see that as adults we could put the things that we thought were great insults as kids behind us and move on with life as bigger men for having done so.

There is a time and place for every fight and battle. Be careful in choosing when you decide to fight them.

 

[J-kid]

I might as well drop it..... But if he looks for me . I wont be able to hold my self back. Some comments i didnt under stand 1 (judo-kid is a bully/thug) This really makes no sense when i read my statment how anyone in there right mind can get this inpression. I got picked on was scaired joined martial arts for self defense found out its a load of fun. I dont go around attacking every kid that pushs me or glares at me, One of the reasons why i think about that kid is because him and his friends who are 18 tryed to pick a fight at my local school playing b ball and its only because there was 4 of us and 7-8 of them. And as we left he said a bunch of stuff about it. Makes me mad because i didnt do anything to any of them. I really think its kind of lamo that you think i am using my martial arts the wrong way. I break up fights with it and use it to help people or defend my self vs a attacker. The guy who slaped me isnt worth my time anymore.
I just hope me not doing anything dosnt lead to someone else getting hurt because i didnt do anything . (To sin in silence and not act can only hurt those around you) If i dont take the stand vs bullys and help the little guy then who will? Your friend JUDO-kid:cheers:

 

[Marginal]

Thumping him's not really going to stop him from bullying someone else. (Probably give him more reason to since he'd be needing to try to reassert himself.) So it's hard to see how you're preventing much of anything if you attack him now.

 

[Kenpo Wolf]

The way I see it, you can do one of two things. You can;

A, Beat the crap out of him and prove what kind of immature trouble making punk you are. Even though you may be able to kick his ***, the trouble that will come out of it will be what you probably will deserve

B, Be a adult and move on. You said this happened two years ago? GROW UP! Let the past die as it is a small mind that can't forget the past.

Time is best served getting ahead rather then getting even.

 

[bscastro]

Originally posted by Judo-kid


I just hope me not doing anything dosnt lead to someone else getting hurt because i didnt do anything . (To sin in silence and not act can only hurt those around you) If i dont take the stand vs bullys and help the little guy then who will? Your friend JUDO-kid:cheers:

I think this is one of those things that if you catch him picking on someone else you can defend them, but don't go out of your way to take him out. And there's nothing wrong with defending yourself if you deem it necessary, but it sounds like at this time you'll just have to go on living your life and not worry about this guy.

Best wishes,
Bryan

 

[tonbo]

Judo-Kid, let me say this......

I notice that you are still quite young. This is not a problem, but it does certainly make a difference in what the world is like to you. When I was in high school, *that* was what the world was to me. There were bullies and victims, everyone was segregated into little groups: you had the drama people, the band people, the stoners, the jocks, the brains, the cheerleaders, blah, blah, blah. Everything very neat and tidy. And you had hormones and emotions. MAN, every time someone would break up with one of my friends, it was a world-shaking event. When two people were going out together, it was news--BIG news; I knew just about everything about my friends' love lives, and their day-to-day troubles.

Fast forward to college, freshman year. I am taking karate as one of my college courses. While I am in the locker room, one of the guys in there notices the gi and asks what style I'm taking. NEVER seen this guy before, and he was obviously a senior. We wound up having a lengthy conversation about the MA, and it was one of the best experiences I had ever had. It showed me that the little world I was so used to in high school was actually a great BIG world, full of actual HUMANS, not the neat and tidy little groups from my past. It was quickly obvious that the groups that were so important in high school didn't mean diddly anymore--people judged me by who I *was*, not who I hung with.

Keep an eye out for that. When it comes to "getting revenge", step back and take a look at it. What you do today has echoes FAR into the future. Re-read Gou's story--it makes some good points. Suppose you nurse this grudge and go beat the sh** out of this guy. Years later, he is teaching his kids to watch their backs, telling them a story about how some freak nutcase came out of the woodwork and jumped *him* when he was younger. Is that the kind of thing you want? Also, what gives you the right to determine that this guy needs a lesson? Will getting revenge on him make *him* a better person? Will it make *you* one?

One last point, since I feel like I'm getting too preachy, here: we are all the sum of our experiences. The situation you have been through makes you who you are. You have quite a bit of power--power to alter the future. This idiot can change; if he doesn't, then he will have to deal with the consequences. My guess is that when he grows up a bit, he will look back and feel like an idiot for being a bully--especially when he realizes that it doesn't get him what it used to. Adults don't deal with bullies--only kids do. Adults *settle* things. Let this guy deal with his own problems, and you deal with yours. Situation's over--GROW from it......let it go.....make good choices, and when you have kids of your own, teach them the right way to act. Show them by example.

Life's too short to get revenge, or to spend time planning it. GROW. Deal with what's important.

Bullies and revenge are not important. Enjoying the good things *is*.

**gets down and hands the soap box to someone else**

Peace--

 

[kenposcum]

Judo Kid-
No one thinks you're a punk or a thug. What is being said is that you have potential for becoming a punk or a thug.
It is understood that you are angry. You're a young guy, and experiences that some of us would just brush away can burn away at you, simply because you haven't done that much LIVING yet. High school is world of macho posturing and bulls%#t, okay? The best thing you can do right now is study hard, get good grades, work on your spelling, grammar, and punctuation, as Rob Broad suggested (I'm with you, brother, but sometimes your posts are a total pain in the @ss to read), keep your head down, and focus on your college/future occupational training. Maybe get a girlfriend too...they're great! It's funny, because you're at a time in your life that requires great wisdom, but you just don't have it yet...no offense.
Morally, the way to understand violence is that if it comes to you, then it is okay to defeat violence with violence. It is not okay to "go hunting" because somebody "done you wrong." Sure, if this guy tries to harm you, defeat him. But don't go out of your way to get him to come to you either. Stop wasting your valuable energy on thoughts like this, okay?
Your friend
kenposcum

 

[Shinzu]

you can't be serious by posting this!!

if you have to ask, then you shouldn't be doing MA in the first place...let alone learning techniques you are not mature enough to handle!!

 

[J-kid]

I was told both ways thats why i asked .

 

[arnisador]

Originally posted by Shinzu

if you have to ask, then you shouldn't be doing MA in the first place

I couldn't disagree with you more completely. This sounds like a perfect case for the martial arts.

 

[7starmantis]

Originally posted by arnisador



I couldn't disagree with you more completely. This sounds like a perfect case for the martial arts.

You feel learning MA simply for revenge or fighting is a good reason ? I just want to clarify, I don't intend to offend.


7sm

 

[Shinzu]

Originally posted by arnisador



I couldn't disagree with you more completely. This sounds like a perfect case for the martial arts.

here is my point... if you have to ask someone "do you think i should beat that guy up?" & plus you want to use your MA skills to do it!!!

this is not at all the true spirit of bushido. im sorry but if you were getting picked on and wanted to take MA to defend yourself than that's one thing. but to beat on someone after you have aquired skills that can truly hurt them, then you are in the wrong!

 

[Cthulhu]

Simply add or subract 1 from an odd number.

:shrug:

Cthulhu

 

[arnisador]

Learning the martial arts to beat someone up is wrong.

Learning the martial arts to kill someone can be right (if you're in the Army, say).

Learning the martial arts to defend oneself is definitely right.

The situation here, as I undersatnd it, is someone taking up the martial arts both to defend himself and for the sporting aspect, then feeling the urge to use it to exact revenge. YES, I think the martial arts is great for such a person--it provides an opportunity to grow in confidence and maturity and outlook to the point where one no longer feels the need to fight to protect one's ego integrity--which is basically what we are talking about here--but rather to fight only when there is a need to defend one's physical self.

Ask yourself: If such a person doesn't train in the martial arts, will they be less likely to want to seek revenge? What if they train in the martial arts under a competent instructor? I think the latter is an excellent cure for this attitude.