Thread lessons ?

[Brian King]

After Systema classes we sit or stand and everyone briefly discusses the class, something that they liked or disliked, something they learned or had a hard time with, whatever. After military and Law enforcement teams have an action they often discuss the action. Successful sales teams sports teams and coaches do these type of exercises as well I am told. This after action report, seminar discussions, class reviews, sales meetings and game reviews offer us a look at the action thru the other members eyes, a chance to clarify our thoughts on the action and an additional chance to learn some of the possible lessons offered by the action. As an instructor these discussions are very often rewarding and can offer a surprising depth of insight from the students. They can also sometimes be a bitter pill to the ego with some brutal honesty offered (and welcomed).

For those that read these types of forums, those who participate in discussions on discussion forums/boards, those that write professionally or as an amateur hobbyist the thread linked to below can offer perhaps several insights and lessons that if learned/relearned or at least reviewed and understood can save us all much time and perhaps help our ability to communicate.

I am hoping and asking for others to share their experiences and thoughts both from those that have read the thread and did post as well as those that read the thread and did not post. What this is not meant to be is an opportunity to attack another member of the forum, what this is meant to be is a means for us to discover a little bit more about ourselves and to sharpen our skills (in this case communication skills) and to hopefully strengthen our abilities and that of our community. For this type of work to succeed egos must be checked ‘at the door’ and total open honesty is required and politeness should be observed.

The thread is titled Army Martial Arts - Are You Joking? By Keith Pascal
http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80697

So reading that thread linked to, what are some of your thoughts and lessons learned?
　

Regards
Brian King

 

[Brian King]

I will start with a couple although there are many. Please feel free to disagree with or flesh out these thoughts and please feel free to add any of your own.

1) There is a danger and a laziness to forget that the very first written words in our book, article or next post can be the very first words somebody has read of ours, no matter the number of books articles or posts that we have written in the past.

2) To assume that others will know that the words were written quickly as practice or a means a thought clarification does a disservice to the words and the words author. Context should not be assumed but it is the authors responsibility to provide the context. This is especially important since using this medium means that words could last forever and can turn up anywhere.

3) Someone disagreeing with the ideas and thoughts does not have to mean that they are attacking person expressing the thoughts and ideas. It seems very easy to shoot down the ideas and thought by attacking the person rather than the ideas but in my opinion this is low fruit picking and as such limits growth. Conversely it is also interesting in that by defending our ideas and thoughts by pointing out past works, past personal or professional accomplishments either silent’s criticisms or opens one up to scrutiny and personal and professional attacks that have very little to do with the original ideas and thoughts expressed. It can fog the discussion and limit growth if done poorly.

4) It is important to listen and to hear the criticisms that we hopefully receive during our lives. Who wants to be surrounded by "yes men" yeesh. This is MUCH easier said than done. To really listen to somebody criticizing your thoughts and ideas, somebody criticizing your behavior, somebody criticizing your reputation is not easy and takes discipline. If you dismiss founded criticism too early or too lightly you risk repeating the same errors or misbehaviors over and over. At the same time if you give too much credence to unfounded criticisms you risk stunting your growth

Thoughts?

Regards
Brian King
　
　
　
　

 

[Bob Hubbard]

I've written a good number of articles over the years. Gotten good and bad with them. My breathing article was picked apart by people with different ideas and more experience than I have in the deeper levels. I welcomed it as it enhanced what I was trying to present. I see myself as a gateway expert. By that, I know enough to pique your interest and hopefully point you at more knowledgeable individuals who can take you further and deeper than I. I have no ego in most of my writings, so take criticism and correction in stride. (Yes, there are a few areas where I do plant feet and hold ground, but those are few I think).

I welcome anyone to come in and professionally defend their views, and even add new articles and topics to our mix.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Hey Brian,

I think everyone needs constructive criticism. It sounds like you have a great forum after class for everyone to share and participate. Personally I welcome constructive criticism and people not agreeing but in a positive manner. By positive I try to treat everyone like I would enjoy being treated. (though of course I make mistakes here) By positive criticism I mean when someone is actually trying to help you rather than just criticize for the fun of it or to embarrass someone else. One thing on MartialTalk is that in general people are helpful and fall into a category of positive criticism. Of course some times that is not the case but in general here people actually try to help other people out. You know that of course and that is why this forum tends to attract a more positive group than in other places. I actually hope the author from the other thread comes back and reestablishes himself in a positive way. I am sure he has some thing to offer but maybe he was used to forum communication on a different level.

 

[Brian King]

Thanks guys.

The other side of the coin can be quite interesting as well. Criticism for some is difficult to handle depending on the ego and stresses involved. Yet even more difficult than criticism in my opinion is praise. Often eagerly sought is the warm glow of praise but it too can be difficult to handle gracefully. It is amusing that the ignoring and fear of criticism leads to problems and that the seeking and basking in praise often leads to the very same problems and issues.

Regards
Brian King
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