The vicarious blackbelt

[theletch1]

Just wanted to relate a situation at my kwoon and see if any of you have run into this and how you managed to deal with it.

One of the young ladies at our school (13yrs old) just recieved her junior black. Her mother, (loud, obnoxious, trash talking) has begun referring to her child as "my pit-bull" and using the child as a threat to anyone she meets. "Don't mess with me or I'll sic my pitbull on you." This may, in some circumstances, be amusing but this woman seriously thinks that her child having a JUNIOR blackbelt makes her a lethal weapon. This could possibly be ignored if the child were not beginning to believe all of her mothers hype. The child is gonna get hurt.

My major concern in all of this is that the other junior students will begin to follow her example, or worse case scenario, her new bullying act will lead to an honest to god knock down drag out brawl in the kids class. While I am not the instructor I do assist with the kids class and would like any input ya'll can give.

 

[Despairbear]

My advice would be to just give it a little time, seems to me like you are dealing with a proud parrent who does not know how to express it properly. With any luck it will wear off.



Despair Bear

 

[Johnathan Napalm]

Oh c'mon. The mother is just joking.

 

[Bod]

I'd suggest you with a little humour ask the loud mouth mother if she is serious about the abilities of her little 'pit-bull'. Then see if you can talk her round to seeing that martial-arts doesn't give you magical powers, and may level the odds at best.

Talk to the instructors first, and see what they have to say about it.

But then again, Mr. Napalm already knows the mother in question pretty well, so maybe he'd like to talk to her.

 

[KenpoTess]

Originally posted by Bod
I'd suggest you with a little humour ask the loud mouth mother if she is serious about the abilities of her little 'pit-bull'. Then see if you can talk her round to seeing that martial-arts doesn't give you magical powers, and may level the odds at best.

Talk to the instructors first, and see what they have to say about it.

But then again, Mr. Napalm already knows the mother in question pretty well, so maybe he'd like to talk to her.

I agree with Bod,

Nothing get's my dander up more than using/misusing/abusing a child in any shape or form.. if the mother is for real in her ways.. then it's sure time to nip it in the bud before something untoward occurs with her child. I've met people like her and yep they are 'out there' unfortunately so.

In our school.. we make it well heard ... repeatedly.. If your skills are used outside the studio (other than a real situation brought on by someone else) You will be dismissed immediately. We make sure the parents are well informed of this as well as the student.
People who want to enroll their kids because they are being bullied in school, sit down with us and we hear the entire story from both child and parent.. then we go from there. Some people want Junior to become a fighting machine.. there's so many reasons for enrolling a child in Martial Arts.. alot of the Instructors don't take the time to find out what motivates the parent or the student.. We have to take responsibilty as Instructors and School owners as we are training these students, and if they get into an altercation and harm someone.. it will come back on us one way or another.

Talk to the head instructor and let your concerns be heard!

Tess

 

[Johnathan Napalm]

If the mom is wise enough to enroll her kid in a decent MA school (I suppose it is a decent one, since he teaches there), at least give her the benefits of doubt that SHE IS A MATURE ADULT. Gee! Some people are so high and mighty....

Do you really think people are that stupid as to think their 13 yr old can REALLY beat anyone up?

 

[pesilat]

Originally posted by Johnathan Napalm
If the mom is wise enough to enroll her kid in a decent MA school (I suppose it is a decent one, since he teaches there), at least give her the benefits of doubt that SHE IS A MATURE ADULT. Gee! Some people are so high and mighty....

Do you really think people are that stupid as to think their 13 yr old can REALLY beat anyone up?

Ayup. I really think there are people out there who are just that naive. I also think that some of these people blunder into a good school and enroll their kids ... not because it's a good school, but because it happens to be convenient.

I don't know if that's the case here or not. I'd have to see the situation firsthand to have any clue. But if theletch1 (who is seeing it firsthand) has problems with it, then those problems are probably well-founded.

Is it possible that theletch1 is overreacting? Sure. Anything's possible. But I'm going to give theletch1 the benefit of the doubt and assume that his interpretation of the situation is accurate.

To that end, letch, I'd recommend that you talk to the instructor of the kid's class. Get his/her opinion on the situation. If he/she concurs with your assessment, then he/she needs to take actions (like others have suggested) to nip the situation in the bud.

The only person in the situation who is in potential danger is the 13 y.o. girl. And if something happens to her, there's a chance that your school could legally be held partially liable (even if it's entirely the mother's fault).

Mike

 

[Master of Blades]

Originally posted by Johnathan Napalm
If the mom is wise enough to enroll her kid in a decent MA school (I suppose it is a decent one, since he teaches there), at least give her the benefits of doubt that SHE IS A MATURE ADULT. Gee! Some people are so high and mighty....

Do you really think people are that stupid as to think their 13 yr old can REALLY beat anyone up?

My brother is 13 and has beaten up quite a few people. My instructor has utmost faith he has a chance because otherwise he wouldnt teach him. Also I'm 16 so I'm in the same age range....My dad KNOWS I can beat some people up. So really....Whats your point? :asian:

 

[theletch1]

The point is this.... the mother is indeed "out there", it is not a matter of whether or not the child can beat up some people. You've all met the type of person who likes to run their mouth, get an argument going and then when the time comes to actually stand behind your words has someone else take care of the problem. The mother is exactly this stereotype. I'm not talking about threatening other kids or even adults that may scare easily. I'm talking about any one and everyone, some of whom would just as soon club you in the back of the head and throw you in a ditch. I do not "teach" at this school as someone else stated I simply assist with the kids class as a courtesy to the instructor and to get some leadership time under my belt. We are NOT talking about a mature adult here and I have never been accused of being high and mighty. I have a genuine concern for this child otherwise I would not have put myself out there for JN to snipe at.

 

[Master of Blades]

Originally posted by theletch1
The point is this.... the mother is indeed "out there", it is not a matter of whether or not the child can beat up some people. You've all met the type of person who likes to run their mouth, get an argument going and then when the time comes to actually stand behind your words has someone else take care of the problem. The mother is exactly this stereotype. I'm not talking about threatening other kids or even adults that may scare easily. I'm talking about any one and everyone, some of whom would just as soon club you in the back of the head and throw you in a ditch. I do not "teach" at this school as someone else stated I simply assist with the kids class as a courtesy to the instructor and to get some leadership time under my belt. We are NOT talking about a mature adult here and I have never been accused of being high and mighty. I have a genuine concern for this child otherwise I would not have put myself out there for JN to snipe at.

Good god you almost directly described JN there!

I think the only thing you can do is talk to the Mother. What else can you do......You cannot stop a mother boasting about her child just as you cannot stop the sun from rising. She is proud.....all you can tell her to do is tone it down :asian:

 

[Michael Billings]

The phrase "toning it down" is a good one. It accuratly, and without serious criticism, lets her know that she can be proud, but by referring to her daughter as a "pit bull", she is not supporting the Black Belt program among the younger classes.

If that does not work, then you can be more confrontational and direct ..... However, and this is big, if you are only "helping teach" to get some leadership time in, how about talking it over with your instructor or the school owner first? They may give you some insight on how they, as a school handle this.

At least she is not saying that her daughter is "as crazy or dangerous as a pit bull on crack." I have heard that one and said it on more than one ocassion, but never in reference to a young student.

-Michael

 

[Johnathan Napalm]

Originally posted by Master of Blades
My brother is 13 and has beaten up quite a few people. My instructor has utmost faith he has a chance because otherwise he wouldnt teach him. Also I'm 16 so I'm in the same age range....My dad KNOWS I can beat some people up. So really....Whats your point? :asian:

hmmm..... well, the point is.... your dad is a moron ! j/k ! Gotcha! (How could I pass up such an opt when it presents itself, huh ?)

LOL, I am not answering this post. If you don't know what the point is, go bug your dad then.

 

[Johnathan Napalm]

Originally posted by theletch1
The point is this.... the mother is indeed "out there", it is not a matter of whether or not the child can beat up some people. You've all met the type of person who likes to run their mouth, get an argument going and then when the time comes to actually stand behind your words has someone else take care of the problem. The mother is exactly this stereotype. I'm not talking about threatening other kids or even adults that may scare easily. I'm talking about any one and everyone, some of whom would just as soon club you in the back of the head and throw you in a ditch. I do not "teach" at this school as someone else stated I simply assist with the kids class as a courtesy to the instructor and to get some leadership time under my belt. We are NOT talking about a mature adult here and I have never been accused of being high and mighty. I have a genuine concern for this child otherwise I would not have put myself out there for JN to snipe at.

Gee. I wasn't referring to you, let alone sniping at you. (I was returning fire at the guy who sniped at me first.)

I have a question. What kind of school that gives 13 years old Black Belt?? What art does it teaches??

 

[Master of Blades]

Originally posted by Johnathan Napalm
hmmm..... well, the point is.... your dad is a moron ! j/k ! Gotcha! (How could I pass up such an opt when it presents itself, huh ?)

LOL, I am not answering this post. If you don't know what the point is, go bug your dad then.

Nope, I know I'm stupid JN but if you talk REAL slow and tell me the point then I MIGHT understand........no promises though....

 

[Johnathan Napalm]

I am not saying you are stupid, which you have assumed many times before. It is just that I am NOT going to argue with someone who insists that 13 yr old can fight. If you were my SON, then I would have the patience to engage in such endeavour. Hmmmm ..... On second thought... No! Actually, if you were my son, I would be singing Phi Collins' "You're NO SON OF MINE" and beat the living crap out of you!

 

[Rob_Broad]

Originally posted by Johnathan Napalm
Gee. I wasn't referring to you, let alone sniping at you. (I was returning fire at the guy who sniped at me first.)

I have a question. What kind of school that gives 13 years old Black Belt?? What art does it teaches??

I believe it was posted that the young lady is aJunior Black Belt. I believe the art is irrelevant.

 

[Johnathan Napalm]

I am sure that makes it ok then.

Then again, there are members here who got their black belts at 11. Oh well.

 

[Master of Blades]

Originally posted by Johnathan Napalm
I am not saying you are stupid, which you have assumed many times before. It is just that I am NOT going to argue with someone who insists that 13 yr old can fight. If you were my SON, then I would have the patience to engage in such endeavour. Hmmmm ..... On second thought... No! Actually, if you were my son, I would be singing Phi Collins' "You're NO SON OF MINE" and beat the living crap out of you!

You have refused to argue with me before using excuses such as I am not gonna talk to a "kid" about this or so on (Not EXACT words before you even use that ****) so one kind of gets that idea. You know what.......Your so un-funny I have the sudden urge to put you in with a bunch of Lions and poke you all till you fight

 

[Johnathan Napalm]

You are a KID! I am old enough to be YOUR DAD! KID! Well, not nearly as old as your dad... lol

 

[Master of Blades]

Originally posted by Johnathan Napalm
I am sure that makes it ok then.

Then again, there are members here who got their black belts at 11. Oh well.

You see its little comments like this that piss me off......It may not seem like it to you but that comes across as a challenge to EVERYONE who got their blackbelt then. And you wonder why you argue so much!