It is appalling and scandalous. And yes, the parents have GOT to be at fault, because they should be involved with 99% of the things that goes on in their child's lives. The other 1% the child shares with the parent. Given that, this situation isn't or shouldn't be as shocking because it's the type of thing that been going on for generations. Back in my younger days it was called "playing house or playing doctor". It's been going on but with this type of subject it's considered taboo to speak of it and hidden away in the homes of the parents whose children are reported participating in such activities in public schools or playgrounds or where-ever. It was the responsiblity of the parents then just as it is now.
Where are these kids learning it? Definitely from over publicized multi-media exposure as films, TV, magazines, books and so forth. But also sometimes learned at home and taught by older siblings and unfortunately by the parent(s) themselves. The subject is so taboo that it isn't even mentioned as a possiblity in the articles. Mainly because there's no proof of it and it could very well lead to a slander lawsuit which of course nobody wants, right?
In my early years with Alcoholic Anyonmous I've met dozens of women of various ages who (over an after meeting coffee) confided in me that one of the reasons for their drinking was because of the inner pain of an (secret) incestous affair with a family member at a young age. So to say that at "that young age there won't be any long lasting effects" is erroneous. That some people deal with it better than others is correct, but over all it affects those thousands of victims for years to come. Promiscuity in high-school and college and beyond. Extra-martial affairs because they're not getting what they're unknowingly missing; in some cases the extreme guilt of being sexualized by an adult or older sibling or someone that they're "not supposed to be with in-that-way." Other symptoms include but not limited to: drug use, excessive gambling, excessive drinking, chronic unemployment, criminal behavior, recycling the abuse with their own families, and so forth.
So these kids, confused and scared, are "acting out" by being with other kids and emulate to others whats being done to them. This may or may not be the case in EVERY scenario but I'm willing to bet that it's in at least 75% of the cases around the country and the rest of the world. Yet the subject is taboo and thus get shelved with the "family secret" and we don't dare mention it.
That parents are responsible for everything their child does is a given. Getting them to accept and enact that responsiblity is something else. Tucked away safely in the privacy of their homes they are free to do what they wish and raise their children in whatever (home) environment they see fit. I know of a couple that are avid nudists. I was told that once they get home "clothes go flying". Less now they said than when their kids were younger but it's not uncommon for mom or dad to walk from the shower/bathroom without a robe or towel wrapped around them. Are they wrong? In their eyes they're not and they're in their home. Another family I know rigidly enforces being clothed at all time, including bringing the change of clothes with them to the bathroom for after a shower/bath to be fully dressed when they emerge. Are they wrong? In their eyes they're not and they're in their home. And of course I've met dozens that are somewhere in between from one extreme to the other.
So inappropriateness varies from home to home. Right and wrong is relative. Restrictiveness of media varies from house to house.
Society as I've said before (elsewhere), is the one that determines the laws in this country/states/cities. Prositituion is legal in Nevada and so is gambling. Illegal in Utah and many other states. Why? Because the majority says so. Is it any wonder thatan adult will determine (most) of their actions and views based on the laws where they live. Morals, values and standards are based on what they were taught as children and (again) upon the laws in the cities/towns where they live. Their religious beliefs also play a factor.
Human weaknesses is another one.
An AA speaker I heard once said: "We, as adults, have learned to live up here (points to his head), children however base the information they're given down here (points to the heart), on what they feel...". A child will intutively feel that what someone is doing to them (physically) is wrong. They will say "stop" or "no" or try to get away. But are stopped by the smarter bigger and stronger adult/older sibling. They are often times manipulated into these situations. They (probably) won't understand why or understand what is happening and defintely won't understand the effect it's having on the person (adult) that's doing it to them. But they're told it's okay, just don't tell anyone. How much more confusing can that be? So in an attempt to figure out what makes "this" so exciting (as they get clues from heavy breathing and other signs of excitement) they'll "act-out" what they've learned. Their inate sense of right and wrong (feelings) that they're doing something that will get them in "trouble" makes it exciting and excitement of course (for both children and adults) equals "fun". So when asked the child may respond: "...'cause it was fun!"
Still, children are pre-wired to be curious about everything. So sometimes, lack of information can lead to this type of behavior. "Experimenting." Seeing something in a fleeting moment (a parent surfing the channels and pauses for about two seconds on a sex-scene shown on a tv program), or hearing older kids talk about it, or what/where/how-ever! Sometimes asking a parent may get a "tell you later" response, or no-response at all or one of those (stereotyped) birds and the bees kind of talks that leaves the kid even more confused than ever. What/when/how do we teach our children the things that they need to know?
Parents of course are supposed to teach their children that "this fun or that fun" is wrong. Supposed to by our societies sense of morals, standards and values. Right now in these United States (and other countries) we say that it is wrong for children to engage in any form of sexual activity with anyone until they've reached a certian age. In Taiwan it's okay for an adult to lay down (sexually) with a child. Here in the U.S. right now it's 18 years to be considered an adult that's permitted to engage in "adult-behavior", before I was born (I think) it was 21 yrs of age. At 44 yrs old now, I can see the wisdom of the maturity level being determined at 21. Now I wonder how long before we reset the legal age limit to 16?
Anyway, having an adult monitor on a bus is pushing a "police-state" mentality/environment but call it a necessary evil. Indeed children will be less likely to be inclined to "mis-behave" when there's an adult around. Bus drivers of course are too busy driving to get the kids to/from school safely to pay any close attention to what's going on. Question is; how much authority will the "monitor" have in enforcing the rules of conduct on the bus? Teachers now have a hard enough time imposing disciplinary measures on unruly kids in the classrooms as it is. When I was in jr. high ... you screw around enough and the teacher takes you in the hall or right in front of everybody and paddles your mischevious ***. Now a parent will cry "abuse!" because it's their right to discipline their children not somebody else.
What to do?
What to do?
Oh and one more... what is really scary... is the NAME of the game that the kids called it. The RAPE game. If this wasn't stopped then what kind of teenager/adult will those kids grow up to be? A news headline that may read someday in the future... "Rapist calls his actions: Playing a game!"
