The Newcomer's Guide to Martial Arts Talk
(from http://judoinfo.com/humor13.htm )
What they say
What they mean
Judo is better than karate
I only practice Judo
Judo prepares you for the street
I've never used Judo on the street
Chinese martial arts are the best!
I practice a Chinese martial art
High kicks are stupid
I can't do high kicks
Tournaments are extremely important
I'm good at fighting and I win trophies
The martial arts are about building character
You'll never be any good, but keep coming anyway
Korean martial arts are the best
I practice a Korean martial art
Board breaking techniques are not important
I couldn't break out of a paper bag
I don't believe in colored belts
I learned in the backyard and nobody ever promoted me
The martial arts are about building better people
Like me
Grappling arts are the best
I practice a grappling art
Sophisticated arts like Tai Chi and Aikido are far superior
Fighting frightens me
He's a good martial arts teacher
He's in my organization
He's a lousy martial arts teacher
I don't know anything about him
My style is the best
I don't know anything about any other styles
Promotions are not important
There's a grading coming up and it's important
Throwing techniques are less important than grappling
I can't throw anyone and I'm tired of trying
I'm an innovative, modern Western martial arts teacher, doing my own non-classical thing
I'm more interested in teaching than learning, and Asians ignore me because they know how ignorant I am
Martial arts politics are the necessary result of official recognition by respectable associations to protect the public
I'm an officer in a large organization
I hate martial arts politics
None of the large organizations recognize me or have the slightest interest in my existence
In this system, we adapt the technique to fit the person
Do it the way I said to
Competitions are a waste of time
I've never won any competitions
Forms or kata are the highest expression of the inner essence of the martial arts
I read that somewhere -- and I've had enough of tournaments
Kata or forms are useless
Bruce Lee said forms are useless
One style is not better than another -- it's the individual that counts
Please don't go to another school
Practice makes perfect
Please sign up again
He doesn't deserve his rank
I didn't get promoted as fast as him
Size and strength are not important
I'm bigger and stronger than average
Science and leverage will always win out over brute force
I'm bigger and stronger than average
The purpose of the martial arts is spiritual development and liberation from the ego
I'm so humble and wise, it's terrific
(from http://judoinfo.com/humor13.htm )
What they say
What they mean
Judo is better than karate
I only practice Judo
Judo prepares you for the street
I've never used Judo on the street
Chinese martial arts are the best!
I practice a Chinese martial art
High kicks are stupid
I can't do high kicks
Tournaments are extremely important
I'm good at fighting and I win trophies
The martial arts are about building character
You'll never be any good, but keep coming anyway
Korean martial arts are the best
I practice a Korean martial art
Board breaking techniques are not important
I couldn't break out of a paper bag
I don't believe in colored belts
I learned in the backyard and nobody ever promoted me
The martial arts are about building better people
Like me
Grappling arts are the best
I practice a grappling art
Sophisticated arts like Tai Chi and Aikido are far superior
Fighting frightens me
He's a good martial arts teacher
He's in my organization
He's a lousy martial arts teacher
I don't know anything about him
My style is the best
I don't know anything about any other styles
Promotions are not important
There's a grading coming up and it's important
Throwing techniques are less important than grappling
I can't throw anyone and I'm tired of trying
I'm an innovative, modern Western martial arts teacher, doing my own non-classical thing
I'm more interested in teaching than learning, and Asians ignore me because they know how ignorant I am
Martial arts politics are the necessary result of official recognition by respectable associations to protect the public
I'm an officer in a large organization
I hate martial arts politics
None of the large organizations recognize me or have the slightest interest in my existence
In this system, we adapt the technique to fit the person
Do it the way I said to
Competitions are a waste of time
I've never won any competitions
Forms or kata are the highest expression of the inner essence of the martial arts
I read that somewhere -- and I've had enough of tournaments
Kata or forms are useless
Bruce Lee said forms are useless
One style is not better than another -- it's the individual that counts
Please don't go to another school
Practice makes perfect
Please sign up again
He doesn't deserve his rank
I didn't get promoted as fast as him
Size and strength are not important
I'm bigger and stronger than average
Science and leverage will always win out over brute force
I'm bigger and stronger than average
The purpose of the martial arts is spiritual development and liberation from the ego
I'm so humble and wise, it's terrific
