The man, the myth, the LEGEND!!! CN

SA_BJJ

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We all know and love them.....

Chuck Norris does not own a house...he walks into random houses and people move.
 

Gordon Nore

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We all know and love them.....

Chuck Norris does not own a house...he walks into random houses and people move.

Thanked and repped. I'm having a ***** day, and that's the first laugh I've had.
 

Whitebelt

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Q: How much Norris would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck Norris?

A: More than you could possibly imagine...


ALSO

Q: How many nuns could a nuchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

A: only about 1 if unwielded (just out of sheer coolness) or like a billion if ol bruce lee is wielding it but NONE in Norris's hands, he doesn't hit girls...
 

arnisador

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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels.

People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SATs, simply by writing "Chuck Norris" for every answer.

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends".

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
 

Gordon Nore

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Q: How many nuns could a nuchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

A: only about 1 if unwielded (just out of sheer coolness) or like a billion if ol bruce lee is wielding it but NONE in Norris's hands, he doesn't hit girls...

nunchucks9rd.jpg
 
OP
SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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Chuck Norris was once on an episode of Celebrity Wheel of Furtune...he was the first to spin...the next 29 minutes consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly waiting for the wheel to stop.
 

bluekey88

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Chuck Norris does not do push ups, he simply pushes down the Earth.

At atx time, Chuck Norris simply mails in a blank 1040 form and his picture...he has never paid taxes.

Chuck Norris' tears are said to cure cancer...too bad chuck Norris never cries.

Peace,
Erik
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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Chuck Norris can kick a fart back into an ***.

Chuck Norris can clog the toilet when he pee's.

Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesnt kill women.
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick can power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When Chuck Norris say "More Cowbell"...he means it!
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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The first Lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris ALWAYS wins.
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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Someone once tried to tell CN that a roundhouse kick isnt the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded as the worst mistake ANYONE has ever made.
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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Chuck Norris appeared in the Street Fighter II video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a Roundhouse kick. When asked about this "glitch", Norris replied, "Thats no glitch".
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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Chuck Norris' show is called "Walker: Texas Ranger" because Chuck Norris doesnt Run!
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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Fighting Chuck Norris is what Meatloaf wouldnt do for love...
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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Chuck Norris doesnt get frostbite...Chuck norris bites frost!
 

BrandonLucas

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Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight....of course, the knife lost.

Behind Chuck Norris' beard is not his chin, but rather, another fist.

Chuck Norris is singlehandedly responsible for the baby-boomer era.
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

When you say noones perfect, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
 
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SA_BJJ

SA_BJJ

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How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

There are no such thing as tornados..Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
 
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