The Issue of Bereavement and Work

[Sukerkin]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21841950

It is an intriguing coincidence that this should appear on the BBC at the very time that I am going through and struggling with such issues. So far my company has been very good at allowing me the time to try to manage both my emotions and the attendant fiscal and administrative affairs that arise when you lose a spouse. But it has been very much a case of my arranging things with my manager and him dealing with the corporate structure and regulations - the latter, it seems, are not really 'polished' as they have never been put to use before so there have been no precedents established.

Maybe those pushing for a code of best practise have the right of it in this regard? I do see the problems it could cause for small businesses tho', especially those where there is no 'slack' in their liquidity to allow for what could be a sustained loss of productivity and rise in costs.

 

[harlan]

We have five days, and they have to be consecutive. For example, when my mother-in-law passed, there was a Wed. holiday...so I was only paid for Mon/Tue and couldn't take Wed/Thurs/Fri with pay.

Frankly, there is no way a week is enough to deal with profound grief. The rules for maternity (up to 3 months unpaid leave) leave one open to firing if one takes any longer...so I don't use that example as a good template. Personally, I found a small workplace more supportive than the so-called enlightened university that I work at as they allowed for a flexible and diminished work schedule when I needed the time.

 

[clfsean]

I have 3 days at my company for immediate family. When I lost my dad back in January, it was on a Wednesday. I had Thursday, Friday & Monday available for bereavement. I only took Thursday/Friday.

Personally, 3 days isn't enough for some people to deal with loss & make arrangements if they haven't been made ahead of time. For me, 3 days was plenty. I had 9 months to come to grips with the eventuality of loosing my dad at really any given moment after his strokes last March. The only thing that was left undone was final arrangements, which I had already looked into so when the time came, it took about 20 minutes to handle per my dad's wishes. That was at the hospital. The next day was about 30 minutes with the funeral home for the final paperwork & such.

I think the problem with the workplace happens when it's abused. Which I can get right behind. When it's abused, everybody feels the fallout from it. That's not right for co-workers to have to deal with.

But there does need to be a "limit" on the amount of time a person takes. If it takes more than that, the employer should help the employee maybe with providing grief counseling through their EAP program or something similar.

But that's just me...

 

[harlan]

I don't mean to dimish the OP in any way, but would also like to point out there is basically zero acknowledgement/grief benefit when one loses a pet or close friend. Not to mean a pet is up there with a spouse...but personally...I've known people that have lost pets that they bonded to that were a total wreck - grieved as deeply and as long as if was a significant human relationship.

Acknowledgement of significant relationships.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I lost my Dad in July, still having problems with that, But the state of NY kindly told me I could charge 3 days to my sick leave if I liked, but more than that I would need a doctors note to return to work. I ended up using 3 sick leave days and 3 vacation days. Other than that there is no Bereavement leave

 

[arnisador]

This needs to be looked at more closely--using sick leave at the least, but that's just a short-term fix--but each case is different and there's no winning on that.