So, I am 39, single (Divorced), no kids, and over weight, ....

[Rich Parsons]

So did screwing Brad Pitt ... uhh ... but I wouldn't recommend that for Rich. :lol2:

He is not my type

 

[Rich Parsons]

Rich, remember you are a valuable assit to evryone involved in your life, those nieces and nephew along with your friends childern are lucky to have a man that will take the time to be with them. Not being Married all I can say you are still a lucky man, the devorce part I understand went through it once and that is all anybody should have to do is once.

I know I am. One of my adopted nieces, told me I was the only uncle she had who would play catch with her, and or always showed up for her birthday. She also told me I listened more than her mother, and she appreciated that.

You are not damage goods because of a divorce, 1 out of three have a divorce on there record so you are in the right group as far as I'm concern.

I know I am not damaged goods, just curious as to societies look at this.

Just keep doing what your doing and one day everything will come together if you want it to be.
Terry

I do what I do, and enjoy my life. If it is very unpleasant for me, then I figure out a way to change it.

 

[Xue Sheng]

Was unhappily married, been divorced.

Was happily divorced, been remarried (these are years apart by the way >10)

Am happily married.

If your happy and you know it..........who cares what anyone else thinks.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Must be that same disease that inflicts me as well.

I'm 37, single (divorced). I never had children. I have a good career. I'm not overweight, and am reasonably attractive and friendly.

I don't know what the heck it is. The idea of "damaged goods"...I don't really buy in to that. My divorce was as smooth and issueless as such a thing could be.

There is a lot going on in my life that is really good. I have a great job doing what I love. My training captivates me, even though I'm still in the "clumsy beginner" stage. I'm not happy that I am alone...but I don't thing this is enough to make me seem like Ms. Gloom-and-Doom when I meet someone new.

:idunno:

I agree, I am just curious about a social discussion on why it seems that people think a certain way.

Someone mentioned generations and I agree that has a lot to do with it.

Yet, I am happy, but different, and was curious so I asked.

 

[Rich Parsons]

I knew there was a reason I made this:

A friend of mine introduced me to this girl one night, and we talked a little and she excused herself and went about her buisness... Later she told my friend that I don't wear enough abercrombie for her to date me.

So IMO there is a great deal of truth in what you say, Tess.

Hey I meet her sister, and cousin, and her friends.

** Note not all women are bad. Just some. Just Like guys.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Hello, Life is what you want to make it? It is all about having positive mind and attitude.

I msotly do, just asking about something that crossed my mind, when wonderinng why lots of people were asking or doing similiar things to me.

My Instructor told me when he was in College he went on a mission to a third world country. When you live among them...and come back to America, you see how wonderful our country is!

I have seen enough of the rest of the world to know what I have here, and enjoy it. The priviledge and capabilities I have are great, and I recognize that.

Clean running water, places to get food,toilets and toilet paper. Police and fire departments,hospitals, good doctors and medical help. Laws that work. Jobs. and so on...life here is 1000 times better!

For some countries this is true. Other countries out there offer a lot of what is here, only with a different twist as is expected for different cultures.

Be glad of what you have, except the losses...move on and up in your life...thinking of the past...will bring sadness....look to the future and see yourself in a better life.

Yep I know.

Many people tell me they wish they married their second wife first! LIfe can be better than the old? .........take care and simile....think positive!!!!. ..............Aloha

You never have a second wife until you have a first.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Was unhappily married, been divorced.

Was happily divorced, been remarried (these are years apart by the way >10)

Am happily married.

If your happy and you know it..........who cares what anyone else thinks.

** Clap **

If you are happy and you know clap your hands.

** Clap **
** Clap **

:lol:

 

[Sarah]

I just wanted to address this idea of damaged goods real quick. I think as you get a bit older and have had more experiences, be it bad or good, under your belt you can grow a bit cynical/bitter. (of course I don’t know you well enough to apply this to you).

From my somewhat limited life experience I believe how you view your past relationships can have a lot of effect on your current situations…if you hate or are angry about the past you will be putting that energy out there and as someone stated earlier, people are VERY sensitive.

This IMHO is where the concept of ‘damaged goods’ come from, its from those guys (or girls) that have been ‘burnt’ in the past and therefore are unwilling to put there heart on the line in case they get hurt again, they keep up that wall around them and are just waiting for you to let them down so they, can once again be assured that they are just unlucky in love. It’s a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy really.

Ill tell ya what, if you don’t put your heart on the line and ‘risk’ have the same as last time happen, you prolly wont be hurt again, but you prolly wont meet the love of your life either..

I like ya Rich, I think your all the fantastic things everyone here has been saying…maybe you just need to believe in yourself a little more and you will attract a lovely lady

 

[Drac]

Because if you don't have a wife, 2.3 childrens and 1.4 pets you are somehow weird and broken

I was weird and broken for years and PROUD of it..If I wasn't afraid of angering the the MODs I would tell you what I use to tell them but most of it is unprintable...

 

[Xue Sheng]

** Clap **

If you are happy and you know clap your hands.

** Clap **
** Clap **

:lol:

 

[jfarnsworth]

So, I am 39, single (Divorced), no kids, over weight, and happy.

Brother Rich, I haven't been around in a while but I want to respond to your post.

Rich, be happy with yourself and who you are, what you've accomplished in the past and what you strive for in the future. Take notice to those who have achieved your accomplishments in life. Probably not many. I too noticed that when I was single if you mentioned divorce most women ran away like the plague. So what if you're a little over weight. Any woman with real death will look past that issue. Only the superficial look for vanity and those you really don't want anyways 'cause then you might be in a worse situation:asian: .

What's wrong with the above

Brother, as soon as you figure women out let me know. Please share the secrets .

I am trying to loose more weight and maintain my percent body fat to below 23% and get it below 20%.

You know as well as I do that really isn't much. As I said be happy with who you are a woman will be along eventually. It probably seems like an eternity but I'm sure the right one will come.

I train in martial arts, and, work in a career.

It was enjoyable for me to go to the studio over the years. It was a way for me to forget the outside world and focus on the students and myself. If only for a couple of hours. You are a successful man with a good job, just don't let the wrong one come in.

Yes, I was married, it did not work, and yes there is baggage or scars, but I think I am over most of it. (* Twitch *)

Marriage is certainly not all it's cracked up to be. It's hard work and takes a lot of patience. Believe me I'm reminded everyday about this. Actually again before I got on MT. My advice to you is date around to find the woman you are looking for. If the one your with isn't the one, move on.

I do miss not having children, and spoil my nieces, and nephews, and my friends kids, that also call me Uncle.

Well, there may be a reason why it didn't work out that way yet. I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. Maybe at this moment it was not meant to be but you never know what the future has in store. All 4 of mine are over here wrecking the place and causing havoc. Keep your chin up Bro.

Why must I have a wife and kids to have anything? Yes they would have been great. I had a misstep and took cautions to not repeat, and just not found the right one yet.

I don't necessarily believe that. Re-read some of my previous paragraphs.

Just curious as to why the Amercian Society in general (* others can chime in with their societies point of view, as I would like to hear it as well *), thinks that something is wrong, and poor me?

I don't believe there's anything wrong with you.

Is there something our society, trains its members without thinking about it? Did I miss that lesson?

If there's a lesson to be had and you find it let me know. Usually I found in my life if there's a hard way; that's the path I take. You would think eventually one would learn a lesson but nooooooooo.

Thank you for your replies.

To be honest Rich, with all joking aside. If I didn't marry Heather I think I would have preferred to stay single. Although my situation was a little different with 2 kids already but for me juggling 2 kids, an ex-wife, current wife, work and training someone is usually getting the shaft. There isn't enough time in the day for everyone. Which is why I say stay happy with yourself, your training, your friends and family. If you ever want to talk give me a ring. If you don't still have my number I'll PM my home and/or work numbers.
Take care. Good things come to those who wait.
Jason
:asian:

 

[Brother John]

Rich-

Why worry bro?
Seems you're pretty concerned about this.... somethin happen to make you worry like this???​

IF you are happy being single....COOL. Keep on keepin on.
IF some woman rejects you because you're divorced ---then in my opinion she's pretty shallow, narrow-minded and petty; you could do better. ((in all fairness: I think that lots of women have been burned by some pretty crappy guys...and so they may take flight at the first sign of anything amiss.. like a divorcee. In my experience, the MOST sensitive to a guy being divorced...is a woman who's been divorced.)) IF that's the "General" sentiment of ladies in our society (too bad, really) then hold out for a lady that's not "general", not average! {since when can an "average" woman deal with a relationship with a committed martial artist anyway??} Sounds like you deserve someone who's open-minded and doesn't judge on surface impressions alone.

SO brother....hold your head up high, be YOU.... and shrug off those who can't accept Rich for Rich!!! ....baggage and all. (because we've all got some)

I'm rootin for ya!

Your Brother (34, bald...divorced..........REMARIED to the most WONDERFUL woman you could ever imagine; and happy as can be!!!! )
John

 

[Flatlander]

I don't think Rich is concerned about his own circumstances in any way. I do, however, believe that he's curious as to why society perceives that he should be unhappy with his situation when in fact, he's perfectly content.

And Rich, maybe if you stop growling at women, they'll stop screaming. :ultracool

 

[shesulsa]

And Rich, maybe if you stop growling at women, they'll stop screaming.

:anic: .... yeah .... :anic:

 

[Rich Parsons]

I don't think Rich is concerned about his own circumstances in any way. I do, however, believe that he's curious as to why society perceives that he should be unhappy with his situation when in fact, he's perfectly content.

And Rich, maybe if you stop growling at women, they'll stop screaming. :ultracool

True, very True.

As I know others in this type of situation.

As to me, I have been getting this type of behavior for many years. Not with just myself. Yes, I am visiting the parents, and they no longer bring this up, but all their friends do.

When I am at work, there are those that are married and those that are not. Those that are not, many people can look and say total introvert, unable to talk to women, etcetera.

Personally, I think I am happy, and have dealt with the past as best I can. I do not hate the ex-wife at all. I do not see her, and that helped to make it easier. Hating someone like her is too costly and too much of my time would be wasted on such a non-productive emotion.

So, does age and society station or culture effect how people ast?

Or is it more across the society of the USA completely, or is it just certainn areas, and locations, or age brackets?

 

[Carol]

Rich,

Maybe it's because you have people around you that care about you in one way or another. They know that you are happy, but they think that you would be happier with someone beside you.

As far as the secret to meeting great people, I haven't figured that one out yet. Perhaps one's career gives one the opportunity to be a little more selective. That selectivity can be a double-edge sword. It may mean turning down a potentially bad date, it could also mean getting to know a person more to see if they are better than the initial first impression. A good friend of mine that is single says that there are "a lot of frogs out there."

Hmm....date a frog....go to training....date a frog....go to training....I know! I'm going to Kenpo tonight!

I don't know, I'm finding that I've been rejected a lot more now than I have been when I was younger. What has changed? My looks haven't changed that significantly. I'm a more successful than I was. Wonder if it's "everybody else"?

 

[Sarah]

Why dont you and Rich exchange MSN addresses.....it worked for me and OUMoose :wink2:

 

[Rich Parsons]

Why dont you and Rich exchange MSN addresses.....it worked for me and OUMoose :wink2:

Because I use ICQ

 

[Sarah]

Because I use ICQ

Excuses, excuses......

 

[Rich Parsons]

Excuses, excuses......

And so . . .