Self defence situatio

[Headhunter]

So I had a situation tonight which has shaken me up quite bad and people think this is fake or whatever as I've seen these types of threads been accused of it but whatever.

Tonight I was out for a meal with my kids at a small place nothing flashy just a cafe. But I went to the toilets and nt long after I went in another guy entered he was talkinh to himself and seemed edgy and jumpy. I went to leave and the guy got in front of me and asked if I had a lighter, I politely told him I didn't but he refused to move and got angry yelling and swearing at me saying I was a liar and out to get him, obviously the guy was off his head on drugs or something.

I simply asked him to move out the way then he refused so I tried to push past him and he yelled your going no where and he grabbed hold of my wrist. At that point pure instinct took over. For any kenpo guys reading I basically used the technique gripping talon. It's hard to explain but I twisted my wrist and basically got his fingers in a lock position which made him go up on his toes in pain then dropped a right hammer fist to his groin which buckled him slightly. I used that moment to push him to the side so I could get out. I ran out and told the staff in the cafe and told them to call the police and gave my number to them to give to the police to come talk to me as I had no intention to stick around while that guy was still around so me and my kids left quickly. Later on the police called and I went down and gave a statement. They knew who the guy was and was a known drug user who'd often got violent.
That was the first time I've ever had to use my training for real life and it has shaken me a bit even though I was able to do it successfully. Also I'm surprised I used that particular technique in instinct as its not one I like and honestly not one I train that often. I know other wrist grab defences which I'm way better at but I guess when instinct takes over anything can happen.

 

[Kababayan]

I'm sorry, buddy, that you were in that situation. It's always nice to talk martial arts theory but when something actually happens, it's a reality that none of us wants. I'm just glad that you and your family are safe.

 

[jks9199]

I'm not surprised you're feeling shaken up; most of us don't usually deal with things like that. Sounds like you handled it pretty well. I'd encourage you to talk about it with friends, maybe your instructor or training partners to help you get a handle on things.

 

[Tez3]

Well done, you did all the right things. The adrenaline dump is a nasty thing though. What you mustn't do now is second guess yourself or go off on a list of 'what ifs'. You did well, the situation is sorted so just keep training and give your kids an extra hug. All's well that ends well.

 

[Buka]

I'm glad you're okay. As for getting shaken - happens to all of us. Good job, man.

 

[Anarax]

I'm glad you're okay and your training kicked in when you needed it. That's interesting considering someone on here was questioning the usefulness of wrist grab defenses in another thread.

 

[drop bear]

Dramas are never fun

 

[JowGaWolf]

I simply asked him to move out the way then he refused so I tried to push past him and he yelled your going no where and he grabbed hold of my wrist.

(looking for that discussion about wrists grabs and "how no one grabs a wrist.")

Also I'm surprised I used that particular technique in instinct as its not one I like and honestly not one I train that often. I know other wrist grab defences which I'm way better at but I guess when instinct takes over anything can happen.

I like when this happens.

All you have to do now is exhale. Accept what you are feeling. Embrace it as something normal. JKS and Tez make a good recommendation. I never been in a fight that I enjoyed. But congrats, you did everything correctly. You handled your business, got out of the area, took your family's safety into consideration, told someone what happened and left your number so the police could get in contact with you.

I know for me it's always easier to put my own safety on the line than my family. The way I approach conflict when I'm out with my family is not the same way I approach conflict when I'm alone. I would definitely share the experience with chief instructor of your school. It may provide a teachable moment for him. It will definitely give others a new perspective on their training. Some people only train for exercise, and your experience may open their eyes and cause them to think about how they are training.

By the way thanks for sharing this experience. I think things like this are good to hear, especially for those who live in the U.S. where many people think the only answer is always "carry a gun"

 

[oftheherd1]

I can't really say much more than what others have already said. Good job on defending yourself and your family. Good job on instinctive reaction. I agree with sharing it with your teacher and with other students if your teach asks.

 

[oftheherd1]

(looking for that discussion about wrists grabs and "how no one grabs a wrist.")
...

Yep, wrist grabs are not the most common way for a person to try and restrain you, but it can happen. But that comment comes up often by people who simply cannot believe it could ever happen in anyone's existence, or that wrist grab defenses could provide building blocks for more complex moves.

 

[Steve]

Sorry this happened. this is becoming a lot more common in my area, as the homelessness and meth/heroin addiction is out of control.

 

[JR 137]

@Headhunter speaking from personal experience, don’t dwell on what happened. It’s all too easy to ask yourself a million “what if” questions. And there’s no worthwhile answers.

Several years ago I was walking to my car late at night after work. It was a pretty bad section of the Bronx. As I was walking and minding my own business, a guy walking towards me asks if I have a light. Before I could finish saying I don’t smoke, he reached to a gun in his waistband. Without thinking, I stepped in and hit him with a right hook clean on his jaw. He dropped, and I followed up with a few soccer kicks to his head. Then I ran. It was all a matter of a few seconds. What actually happened didn’t hit me until the adrenaline dump ended.

Way too many what ifs...

What did he want
Why did he target me
Why didn’t I give him my wallet (if that’s what he wanted)
What if I gave him what he wanted and he shot me anyway
What if I missed or it didn’t hurt him
What if he killed me

I could keep going.

I talked about it to my boss a few days later, and he had the best advice I could’ve been given, so I’ll share it with you...

You walked away unharmed. Not matter what could’ve, would’ve, should’ve you come up with, the bottom line is you did the right thing - you did whatever it took to get the hell out of there unharmed. Don’t second guess that.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Sorry you had to go through that. I’ve never had a physical or near-physical altercation that didn’t leave me feeling shaky. I even spent some time in my adolescence courting the adrenaline dump to get a bit more used to it. Still sucks.

I’m glad your training came through. I have theories (unlikely to ever be subjected to real evidence) as to why sometimes people come out with one of the techniques or sequences they don’t like in training.

 

[jobo]

So I had a situation tonight which has shaken me up quite bad and people think this is fake or whatever as I've seen these types of threads been accused of it but whatever.

Tonight I was out for a meal with my kids at a small place nothing flashy just a cafe. But I went to the toilets and nt long after I went in another guy entered he was talkinh to himself and seemed edgy and jumpy. I went to leave and the guy got in front of me and asked if I had a lighter, I politely told him I didn't but he refused to move and got angry yelling and swearing at me saying I was a liar and out to get him, obviously the guy was off his head on drugs or something.

I simply asked him to move out the way then he refused so I tried to push past him and he yelled your going no where and he grabbed hold of my wrist. At that point pure instinct took over. For any kenpo guys reading I basically used the technique gripping talon. It's hard to explain but I twisted my wrist and basically got his fingers in a lock position which made him go up on his toes in pain then dropped a right hammer fist to his groin which buckled him slightly. I used that moment to push him to the side so I could get out. I ran out and told the staff in the cafe and told them to call the police and gave my number to them to give to the police to come talk to me as I had no intention to stick around while that guy was still around so me and my kids left quickly. Later on the police called and I went down and gave a statement. They knew who the guy was and was a known drug user who'd often got violent.
That was the first time I've ever had to use my training for real life and it has shaken me a bit even though I was able to do it successfully. Also I'm surprised I used that particular technique in instinct as its not one I like and honestly not one I train that often. I know other wrist grab defences which I'm way better at but I guess when instinct takes over anything can happen.

you could had avoided that if you carried a lighter

 

[JR 137]

you could had avoided that if you carried a lighter

I guess I could’ve too

It’s been such a sh!tty day. I needed that laugh.

 

[lklawson]

I think things like this are good to hear, especially for those who live in the U.S. where many people think the only answer is always "carry a gun"

Very few people, comparatively, who live in the U.S. and actually carry a gun think that the only answer is always carry a gun. I know that this is the stereotype but that's all it is.

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk

 

[pdg]

Very few people, comparatively, who live in the U.S. and actually carry a gun think that the only answer is always carry a gun. I know that this is the stereotype but that's all it is.

There's enough of them (who are vocal enough about it - they may be few, but they're loud) for the stereotype to have a basis though.

Stereotypes don't magically appear, something has to start them and they must be reinforced - otherwise they never get to be stereotypes...

 

[lklawson]

Stereotypes don't magically appear, something has to start them and they must be reinforced - otherwise they never get to be stereotypes...

Often they're based on misinformation or misunderstandings of the actual circumstance by those on the outside, making the stereotype. Or are you suggesting that "pollocks" really are generally stupid or that there is actual truth to the "red-headed temper" stereotype? Or that grapplers are actually just gay men looking for an excuse to aggressively snuggle sweaty men?

It's the same here. The stereotype is a myth, not based on reality but on misunderstandings and misrepresentations.

Do you want to know the real reason why stereotypes exist? Because humans are afflicted by the desire to find an easy solution (often called a "soundbyte solution" today) and by the desire to find easily identifiable differences to differentiate between "us" and "them."

Much like human's desire to "see" patterns and things they recognize (like the "face on mars") and the desire to anthropomorphize everything from animals to rocks to frick'n "mother nature," forming stereotypes is, literally, just human nature, not representative of actual evidence or logic.

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk

 

[CB Jones]

There's enough of them (who are vocal enough about it - they may be few, but they're loud) for the stereotype to have a basis though.

Stereotypes don't magically appear, something has to start them and they must be reinforced - otherwise they never get to be stereotypes...

Typically it’s started by someone against that group in an attempt to discredit them though. Hence why it’s sily to put much weight in stereotypes.

Gun owners aren’t some crazy wackos waving around pistols at the drop of a hat....that is just how people who oppose gun ownership want to portray them.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

There's enough of them (who are vocal enough about it - they may be few, but they're loud) for the stereotype to have a basis though.

Stereotypes don't magically appear, something has to start them and they must be reinforced - otherwise they never get to be stereotypes...

Nearly all stereotypes have some basis. Confirmation bias still needs examples.